Waiting 1.5 Weeks More for an Album 3.5 Years in the Making (Patreon)

The idea for the next Ridleys album started way back in 2018. I was with our sound engineer, Alex Villegas, who had just come back from Australia after her studies. I talked about the idea of telling my life story through a collection of songs as concept for The Ridleys' debut album. Immediately, we got to work recording the guide tracks, including songs that were pivotal to the story such as Running to Vancouver and Lagoon. It was a good concept album, but there was one problem.

We didn't know much about recording an album yet. Like, a real album. The Ridleys was only 2 years old then, and we had miraculously released 2 EPs without really knowing how. She was a fresh grad and just starting out her career as a sound engineer. For some reason, I put back the personal songs on the shelf and decided to make an album about love instead: a reflection on love and how it is a reflection of the true source. Before moving on to anything ambitious and grand, we decided to experiment with our first LP, Reflections on Moonlight and Poetry.

And it was a good thing we did. The journey was not smooth at all. I entered into a hasty deal with a record label at the time and promised to collaborate with them on an album, which led to Reflections being remixed and remixed according to the label's standards. Eventually, we decided to release this first album independently; however, the troubles didn't end there.

Two months before the release of Reflections, the final files (which then had gone through 10 revisions), were deleted. It took a lot of willpower and prayer to keep calm and re-record. In the end, we were happy with the new tracks, especially Germany & Rome, which originally did not include bass and drums. The album was finally released on December 14, 2019.

But again, the challenges didn't end there. After release, I asked the guys for feedback regarding the process of recording the album. That's when Bryant first confronted me and said, "Benny, you're good at knowing your vision, but you need to work on the implementation of your plans."

He wasn't wrong. I was fickle. I would make plans that would constantly change. I would hire different people without even consulting the guys and Tita Modi. To the guys, it wasn't an issue so huge that we had to disband or have a massive intervention, but it was an issue nonetheless. I took that feedback to heart and went to work on myself.

 I'm glad that the band is now better than ever because we learn from our mistakes. (Cue Cold Feet.) I'm glad that the album has the impact that it does regardless of how imperfect the process was. Not bad for a practice album.

Fast forward to present day. I finally have a chance to tell my whole story - my departure from God, my depression (or bipolar mood disorder 2 to be exact), my unhealthy fascination with death, my loneliness, and my return to the One who was always there waiting for me. I have all the songs laid out. Communication with the band has been better than ever.

When it comes to delegation, I've learned to focus only on the music and writing, trusting the others' judgement in some areas. The guys found a studio that I never would have discovered on my own, and proposed more efficient ways of doing things that never crossed my mind. Even when it comes to the arrangement, the songs are filled with so much of the guys' compositions. The teamwork in this next project is truly something else.

This project has been in the making for 3.5 years. We were supposed to work on it back in 2020, but that's a story for another time. All I can say is that the delay worked out for good, because we had more time to write and plan. Even when the plans were done early 2021, we had more months to sit down and think about them carefully. 

Three point five years, and now we get to record on December 5, Sunday. Honestly, I can't think of anything else except this next project. I find it hard to sleep some nights because I'm so excited. A part of me wants to stop the public streams and hold off unnecessary non-Patreon gigs so that I could focus all my energies on the next project (which, of course, is impractical, since we need the funds from those external gigs, too). I've already taken a break from recording YouTube covers, and writing new songs has been difficult for me recently (but then again, I've written 20+ in less than a year, so I think I deserve a break of sorts). I'm not saying every other task sucks. I love doing gigs and streams. I love recording covers and writing new songs. But right now, in comparison, this next LP is infinitely better. Even tasks I love doing pale in comparison to this next project.

Honestly, I feel like a bridegroom waiting for the wedding day. It's a confusing feeling. I want to jump for joy and vomit at the same time, if that makes sense. I don't know. It's hard to explain. That's why I attempted to write it down this morning.

Twenty-two songs, divided into 4 EPs with 5 songs each (+ 2 bonus tracks for the whole compiled EP). The first will most likely be called Chapter 1: Until I Reach the Sun. The second, Chapter 2: Far Enough to Run No Further/Near Enough to Retrace my Steps, which I just call Far Enough/Near Enough. Third might be called Chapter 3: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. Still debating in my head about the fourth. Maybe Chapter 4: All of the Pieces, or Chapter 4: A Different Kind of Dying, or Chapter 4: You'll Find Your Way Back Home. That will depend on how the album covers will look like, which we are currently working on now. The two bonus tracks will be a Prologue and Epilogue that helps tie everything together, and make great encore songs for live performances.

All I can think about now, honestly, and I'm grateful. I'm also glad that Alex and I got to work on the solo EP (releasing December 10!!!) because we got to determine how we want the next LP to sound, and even how we don't want the next LP to sound.

That's it for this morning, I guess. Stay safe everyone! I'll stream our studio recording on the day. December 5, Sunday. Malapit na.