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Nobody on the planet remembers Beastly (Patreon)

Published:
2018-09-13 13:39:55
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Beep beep special delivery

Files

Nobody on the planet remembers Beastly

BEST. EMBRACE. THE SUCK. Best story for a moody Twilight-era young adult adaptation: Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater - https://www.patreon.com/JennyNicholson ET but the lead is a girl and ET is hot - https://twitter.com/JennyENicholson/ The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight but the scarecrow is hot - https://www.instagram.com/spider_jewel/ The Wizard of Oz but the scarecrow is hot - https://spiderjewel.tumblr.com Antz - https://www.facebook.com/JennyNicholsonVids/ Was he MEANT to be Gaston was that why his Beast-self was named Hunter? What was even going on there? Should I read the book?

Comments

Élan Botkin

Oh my god. I have waited so long. Thank you Jenny for this gift from the hellvault of movies.

Tom Bowling

This one just kept getting better!

Roxane Barbey

Beastzoned!! Hahahah One of my favorite bad movies <3

Erin Rumsey

This was one big high school ptsd flashback and I loved every second of it.

Steve Ray

I think it's a PSA for the wounded veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan around that time. That's why Hunter has all those urban-combat scenes and is utterly unafraid of bad guys with guns, and it's also why he's dealing with a transformation from Buff Young Arrogant Dude to Tatted Scarred With Metal Fragments, just like you'd get from an IED. I know this sounds like a stretch, but the other films by this director have been about people living with Tourette's, people dealing with the aftermath of suicide, and other forms of Coping With Mental Problems. And that's why the plot holes and weird choices don't matter. For an educational film (like Duck & Cover), it's only important to see someone Kind Of Like You getting a good result from following the good advice, which was delivered *very* *clearly* by Neil Patrick Harris and Mrs. Potts -- don't shut yourself away, go out and meet friends, you can still find love with your new appearance.

Luis

omg they made a Wii game too!?

Julia Collins

The fact that there was a Wii game and that much merch is what baffles me. I never would've guessed.

AndyofCT

I like his tattoos... so beastly...

Young_Scott

BEASTZONED!!! I A M N O M O R E

Eric MacMillan

I hope if you ever start that twitch channel it’s just gonna be you playing horrible movie tie in games. There are sooo many and they are all hilariously bad. You could start with a play through of Beastly, I’d love to see it!

Bagelhog

The Wii game part with the replaced music..... I died laughing. Thank you Jenny for curing my depression

Jesse Glaspey

You and How Did This Get Made covering this crazy movie in the same week is the most glorious synchronized analyses one could ever ask for!

Tom Bowling

When Jenny told us about the Beastly Wii game, all I could think was, "Thank God Nintendo has Super Mario."

Karla Blinoff

The casting of this movie felt so weird... like "let's just throw in big names cause we have extra money in the budget." I'm not saying the actors were bad but like, they didn't seem to fit their roles particularly well? (Also yay I get to see my name in the credits for the first time!)

Tom Bowling

A kick-ass transformation scene would have done wonders for this flick.

Greg McDaniel

Not a lot of people know this, but no one has ever told Mike Tyson they loved him. It's sad, really.

The BabaDuck

You can get that Beastly Wii game for about $4 on eBay. Very tempting.

Brennan Smith

How did this get made also just released an episode on beastly. This is quite possibly the strangest Armageddon-Deep Impact situation of all time.

Ben

I just looked up the beastly game. It has golf. I'm sold.

Tom Bowling

I wonder what Beastly's handicap is?

Tom Bowling

Suppose the witch used Doctor Strange hand waving to cast her spells. Can you imagine the wrath that would have incurred?

Luis

I wonder if the junkie dad gets a fairy tale ending or is he doomed to failure? Like does Kyle help him get rehab but the dad relapses and dies from an overdose or the dad gets involved with other more dangerous drug dealers and gets shot or maybe he ends up slipping on a box of Lindy's Jujyfruits and breaks his neck?

Tom Bowling

Maybe he opens his own meth lab like Walter White. I like the stepping on Jujyfruits thing but they're more sticky than slippery. Maybe he runs from the cops or a rival drug lord, steps on the Jujyfruits, and gets stuck to the floor. And before he can untie his shoe to free himself, his adversary fills him with so much lead that they can use his butt for a doorstop.

Luis

Well I did say he slipped on the box, but I think sticky is funnier so your idea works better.

Jenny Nicholson

To round out the confusing correlation between Beauty and the Beast and this story they should've had a character threatening to send Maurice to rehab instead of an insane asylum, and it's still framed by the story as a terrible and unjust fate even though it seems like it should be a positive thing

Luis

Yes that would've fit Beastly perfectly!!

Tom Bowling

And he meets and falls in love with Lindsay Lohan?

James Murphy

Related to the dialogue #4, I've always really liked Aaron Sorkin shows (West Wing, Sports Night, Newsroom) but I also feel like a LOT of the dialogue is being delivered by an external voice and the characters are rapid firing their parts. Especially in the walk'n'talk scenes.

Tom Bowling

I'm so inspired! I'm going to start a band and call it, "Bus to Machu Picchu." I'm going to write a song called, "Beast-Zoned," and dedicate it to Jenny every time we perform it.

Tom Bowling

"Hold on to your Jujyfruits! I'm not like those other bruits! Waiting but she never phoned! Getting signs that I'm beast-zoned! Beast-Zoned! It's a witch's curse! Beast-Zoned! Can't get much worse! Beast-zoned! Daddy tossed me out! Beast-zoned! Gonna stomp and shout! So go away, you Frankenskank! I'm still rich and makin' bank! Ain't no Green Party party, hear me moan! Can't find no lovin' in this lonely beast-zone!"

Bethany Gemmell

from a justjared article around the time of the release of beastly: "Some of the highly anticipated merchandise include bags, wallets, figures and bobbleheads, stickers, patches, magnets, buttons, key chains, bookmarks, board games, fragrances, greeting cards, a novel, t-shirts, hoodies, wall art, mood jewelry, costumes, journals, posters and video games, just to name a few!" ok i HAVE to get a beastly fragrance

Tom Bowling

I use the Beastly cologne. Chicks dig it.

Steve Ray

Many low-information Tweets (from that non-Patreon crowd) have taken for granted that Beastly bombed at the box office, but that's SO not true -- worldwide ticket sales exceeded production costs by $25M. Box Office Budget:$17,000,000 (estimated) Opening Weekend USA: $9,851,102, 6 March 2011, Wide Release Gross USA: $27,865,571 Cumulative Worldwide Gross: $43,165,571 <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152398/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152398/</a>

Tom Bowling

You know, I kind of figured it still did well. Speaking from my own situation. I live in a small town and there's not much to do. I see a lot of movies, good or bad. And a good home entertainment system is must here in Mayberry.

Steve Ray

Have you seen that Mayberry-themed video by that schoolmarm? Talk about needing a family-friendly rewrite!

Steve Ray

Does it have a La Croixesque fragrance?

Shred Cadmium

They probably spent a fair bit on marketing (usual vague proxy is to just double-up the production budget) and of course making all that merch! (Although they’ll have recouped much of the separate merch-production budget from Jenny buying it up ofc 😁)

Steve Ray

"Folks, here's a story 'bout Jen the YouTuber / She was a red-haired, red-hot content producer / She had a million bucks of ponies and BB-8 / She video'ed her numbered lists when it got late"

Paulie Paul

School Prom: YESTERDAY Absolute gold!

Amber

new fan here sprinting my way through the backlog. coming from a point in time where the 2025 twitchcon drama is still relatively topical, i just wanted to say i'm sorry people can be such freaks. i hope that specific safety issue you mentioned is old news 🥺