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Trigger Warning reading (Patreon)

Published:
2019-01-20 09:06:47
Imported:
2026-06

Content

It has arrived!

I hope there aren't any big visual mistakes, because my eyeballs kept wandering on my final viewing. (It is a BIG video)

Files

Well, I guess SOMEBODY had to read “Trigger Warning”

The little story of a big man. Click the character you relate to the most: Jake Rivers, a big man with an old soul - https://www.patreon.com/JennyNicholson Dr. Natalie Burke, how long has she worked at this school anyway - https://twitter.com/JennyENicholson Theresa Vega, who did her job and went home with no drama - https://www.instagram.com/spider_jewel/ Matthias Foster, testing Jake by planning multiple assaults in which he single-handedly beat all of your men every time, and then deciding you didn’t have to worry about him - https://spiderjewel.tumblr.com/ Dog. Just Dog. https://www.facebook.com/JennyNicholsonVids/ There make be snakes - https://www.redbubble.com/people/jennynicholson/works/35716971-there-make-be-snakes

Comments

ana

The thing that always gets me about the “Krav Maga” reference in the beginning is that it’s literally a brutal military art form that emphasizes efficiency above grace or, as William Johnstone states “fancy moves.”

Jenna Cummings

This is why I stay up until 2 am... it’s the only time when your videos arrive

Cole Parsons

I’m not joking, I just genuinely fist pumped when you said it’s another bad reading

normal cool adult male

Looking forward to the director's cut/workprint with a 5 hour runtime. Strap in boys and girls,

Joe Bloe

This is why I live in Australia. So I'm up when Jenny uploads.

Jenny Nicholson

Rest assured that it at least SOUNDS the way the creator intended but that I wanted to post it tonight and was only keeping myself awake for the final viewing by simultaneously training my pokemon team

DichotomicDidact

It's either this or finishing the visual novel I'm currently slogging through, and I've been eagerly anticipating this ever since I saw like four different people sharing excerpts from this disasterpiece of a "book." Thank you so much for all that you do!

Michael Puckett

Turn your notifications off after bedtime :) Let Creators Post Whenever is the motto around here!

DichotomicDidact

Lol, I'm gonna watch it like four times (as is my custom with new videos from Jenny) and just go to bed at noon. Wouldn't be my worst day.

Laura Elizabeth

So late in the night! Will finish watching tomorrow, but I found this GEM of a review on Amazon: I DID NOT READ BUT 2 CHAPTERS. I THOUGHT THIS WAS A WESTERN WHEN I BOUGHT IT. I WASTED MY MONEY ON THIS BOOK, BECAUSE I DID NOT CARE FOR THE CONTENT. I WAS EXPECTING A WESTERN, LIKE I LIKE TO READ. VERY DISAPPOINTED.

Matt Reynolds

Just get home from meetings to a new video. Gotta love Australia... Sometimes

Alex Dixon

It's 9:23am :) What a big way to start a big day :)

Gemma Hutchison

Hey Jenny I know this is so lame and my third time commenting it but i've been a $5 patron for a few months now and my name is never in the outro :o( i know im so petty but it hurts my heart

Gemma Hutchison

also ive been so excited for this video iM SO EXCITED

Karla Blinoff

Yayy I'm so happy you endorsed the make be snakes shirt! I found it on Redbubble but I didn't know if it was by you and I would have felt bad buying a knockoff one if you didn't make it. But I am relieved you linked it and I now have one on the way and cannot wait to be a walking surreal meme

matt pierce

Alright, everybody can stop making YouTube videos now. This is as good as they're ever gonna get

Jenny Nicholson

Oh no, I'm so sorry! Not sure how you slipped through. I'm adding you right now so you'll be in the next one for sure

T. Fazekas

Will this 6’5” 250 pound good old boy be able to punch enough man-bun ninjas to win the heart of his busty professor?! I can’t wait to find out! but yes, probably yes.

Scott Ferrier

I can't stop laughing, it's sort of reminds me of Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas film (0% on Rotten Tomatoes) but in book form.

Sarah Lamb

I’m so excited to watch this!!

EmperorEthan

Oh I so want to see someone adapt this into a movie so we can see this disaster of a man go around a cartoonish college doing domestic terrorist stuff

Gemma Hutchison

Omg its okay!! Thank you so much aaah!! <3

EmperorEthan

You are so right, a big, big man.

Steven Clark

I'd really like to see a movie version where the main character is exactly the same but everybody else reacts to him the way real human beings would.

EmperorEthan

That's what I was imagining as well

Daniel Fahringer

"Pajama Boys" is a reference to a picture that was tweeted out by Barack Obama in 2013 of a guy in pajamas with the caption "Wear pajamas. Drink hot chocolate. Talk about getting health insurance. #GetTalking." It was then used as a pejorative by the conservative media...presumably because the guy in pajamas was lacking in "bigness".

Caden Nicholson

I just had to have a half marathon the morning you released this didn't I. Though I suppose a Jenny video is some of the best encouragement to finish faster so that I can watch it sooner.

EmperorEthan

Can we get the There Make Be Snakes design as a sticker?

anthony grey

oh WOW... my day is made. just from watching the preview, i can tell that this is going to be EPIC.

Faith Tobin

I don’t know what #reveal I was expecting about the author’s life but that certainly wasn’t it

Chelsea Clark

I made the mistake of listening to this while doing some PT exercises and kept having to stop to laugh out loud.

Chelsea Clark

Also, while I have been bummed that I became a fan too late to buy a Crash Bandicoot shirt, I have to admit that “There make be snakes” is going to be slightly easier to explain to those around me.

Chelsea Clark

As a general fan of terrible movies in which the people involved were actually trying, this sounds amazing, and the fact that it’s both Kirk Cameron and a Christmas movie means I’ll need to watch it immediately. (Even though the mere sight of Kirk Cameron makes me cringe about my way-too-long Left Behind obsession as a teen.)

Luis

It might end up killing me but I'm going to attempt to watch this entire big video while working out at the gym and I know it'll be worth it!

Chelsea Clark

I attempted it while doing PT exercises and kept having to pause because I was laughing so hard. Best of luck to you.

Andrew Henderson

This book sounds like it was written by an alien who's never actually interacted with humans and their only knowledge of them comes from youtube comments.

Scott Ferrier

He tries and fails at so many levels I was fascinated from start to finish, you won't be disappointed!

Nathan Thomas

I couldn't help but think of the Monkees song "Gonna Buy Me a Dog" during this review.

Luis

I did it, but I almost fell off the treadmill at hearing the final twist!

Abbygale Mertes

I don't know if I can watch this whole thing and it has absolutely nothing to do with Jenny. My God.

Luis

I'm ashamed of myself for doing this but I so desperately wanted the Crash shirt I bought a bootleg one from eBay from like Indonesia, so now I'm upping my sponsorship amount and getting the Snake shirt so hopefully Jenny can get her cut.

Jason Pargin

The part about Audie Murphy's PTSD is the exact kind of thing that separate's this channel's videos from most "look at this terrible piece of media" youtube rant videos. I realize I'm stating the obvious to patrons but that's the value in pulling apart terrible works of art, there's always some insight into human nature to be had, if the critic is good at what they do.

James Murphy

I thought the extra twist at the end was going to be that J.A. Johnstone was also dead, like a matryoshka of dead authors with an A.I. brought up on YouTube comments and twitter at its core

The Doom Merchant

Rated E, for EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED AND MORE. re: Shirt - I don't know what the cut difference is in terms of how much the website takes from every sale, but of the two, t-shirts from society6 are far better quality than the shirts from Redbubble. They're EXTRAORDINARILY soft.

Abbygale Mertes

Wow I was not expecting those last two twists post-novel reading.

Joe Robinson

Jenny's "Read Bad Books" is my favourite sub-genre of her channel

EmperorEthan

Oh! I didn't see that, thanks!

¹¡íÁ·¥úGáB½5@±t3

Look at these reviews As usual a terrific book by William W. Johnstone. Aren't they all??? I was a little disappointed in one thing in this story. Barry was great in the first book, Wheels of Death, but he was not as likable in this one. A little too much ego & picked the wrong woman to mess around with. I didn't like Bonnie at all, anytime or place in this book. Other than that it was very good. Can't wait for the next one. I keep looking for more books by him from before he died. J. A. Johnstone is pretty good & most of his books are very readable. It would be good for him to write some horror stories. I just can't get into the westerns.

¹¡íÁ·¥úGáB½5@±t3

Wheels of Death Originally published: April 1988 Author: William W. Johnstone Genre: Adventure fiction Preceded by: Rig Warrior Followed by: 18-Wheel Avenger I'm losing my mind.

T. Fazekas

Great now I’m paranoid that all the women in my life are deep cover, long-con, code-named, progressive sleeper agents. Damn book.

Steve Ray

Riotous Assembly? Indecent Exposure?

Steve Ray

It says on the Redbubble page it was by her, because it's her page. Did you think it was an impersonatrix?

Karla Blinoff

Yes, cus I’ve been told that merch sites are full of scary chameleons trying to masquerade as popular creators

Steve Ray

No, it was because the guy in the pajamas was seen in the conservative media as a horrible role model, since they would have taken the tweet as: "You went to college. They're too stupid to know better. Hijack every family holiday and browbeat your relatives into buying health insurance. #GetTalking."

Steve Ray

There is a real-life partial AI YouTube conspiracy you can stumble into if you do a YouTube search for "Elders Vault South32" -- do NOT try to find anything via a web search!

Steve Ray

Maybe they could Tyrion-greenscreen a normal-sized guy into looking 7-foot-2.

Steve Ray

Wait, people in Indonesia are so thorough that they create bootlegs of microvolume-fan-art t-shirts that were on Redbubble for barely a few weeks?

Luis

I'd be so mad if there was an actual movie with a half hour after credits scene and I left the theater before seeing it

Steve Ray

"Neo-prog. Long con. Deep cover. Big mark. Meet LUCY" -- promotional poster from the Ocean's-8-style reboot of Trigger Warning, re-told from the perspective of the terrorists, and set at a women's college a la Radcliffe

Steve Ray

So doesn't this mean that Natalie was the Mary Sue, and that Jo Johnstone probably has rich, brown eyes? And likewise, we can tell Jo likes her boyfriends big'n'rough, the same way we know that Ayn Rand liked stern redheads.

Steve Ray

And with the introduction of the characters Dog and Horse, the ATC can proudly chalk up ANOTHER victory, kicking off 2019 with a strong start!

Steve Ray

In fact, given the strong Western influence over the Johnstone oeuvre, "Trigger Warning" might even be an allusion to Roy Rogers' horse, Trigger, whose stuffed body was said to sometimes move in its museum display, much as William W. Johnstone has stayed active after his death.

Steve Ray

Once again, I find I am too trusting, the modern naif.

Shaun Cheah

You gotta respect that hustle.

Dundough Breadbox

So like, people buy these books? Such a big collection!

Dundough Breadbox

Just realized the still for this video makes the book look half its size. Nope, big book.

T. Fazekas

Dog? Horse? Is this a Animal Topics Coalition sleeper video? TWIST!

Daniel Fahringer

I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with, we are saying essentially the same thing ("bigness"=not like BoJake Horseman, protagonist of "Trigger Warning"). I'm pretty sure the conservative media would have found issue with anything that Barack Obama tweeted related to Healthcare...or anything, really. I used "

Steve Ray

I thought you meant mere physicality and demeanor; if we could re-run 2013, we could get Barack to re-tweet it with a picture of Ron Swanson in pajamas with cocoa and see if it goes over better.

Luis

Awww man I should've more thoroughly investigated the site before buying just the shirt there's like a clock a pillow a bag and more!

Jenny Nicholson

I knew Trigger was stuffed but the part about his stuffed body moving is something I never wanted to know

D.D.Sanchez

Whelp, it;s like the ramblings of a PragerU subscriber. Which if not good, definitely makes it hilarious.

Steve Ray

I only knew the first two, but I'll check out these second two.

Neil Dutton

This is great Jenny...or should I say, prolific completely alive author William W. Johnstone! Trying to throw us off with the Star Wars and My Little Pony stuff was smart, but your first mistake was buying an actual book, something no one under 35 would actually do I'm told!

Samantha A.

I love it so much when Jenny reviews literature; it's like the ultimate Anti-Book Club. No one else could get me so interested in Wattpad fan fiction and right-wing thriller novels.

¹¡íÁ·¥úGáB½5@±t3

It gets even more meta than that. The Rig Warrior chose Dog as his codename because he read about the Dog Team in a book. When he later meets up with the president, he confirms that Dog Teams are a real thing. I know this book is bad for the reasons stated in the video, but now I'm completely invested in the William Johnstone Cinematic Universe. <a href="https://books.google.ca/books?id=xIPw0F6QWlYC&lpg=PA59&dq=rig%20warrior%20dog&pg=PA58#v=onepage&q=rig%20warrior%20dog&f=false" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Bottom of page 58</a>

¹¡íÁ·¥úGáB½5@±t3

What the fuuuuuuuu... "The first book follows the adventures, both military and sexual, of Terry Kovak, starting with his sexual initiation with his sister-in-law at fifteen, then his first kill on his sixteenth birthday in 1954."

¹¡íÁ·¥úGáB½5@±t3

Oh my god "William Wallace Johnstone (October 28, 1938 – February 8, 2004) was an American author, mostly of western, horror and survivalist novels." 1938 + 16 = 1954 Did William Johnstone kill a man at the age of 16? Are all of these novels an elaborate cover for the Dog Teams that exist IRL? (This must be what it feels like when conspiracy theorists start going down the rabbit hole)

Dundough Breadbox

Starting to realize I hope the world has more bad books for these things.

Steve Ray

Mine just arrived, and it is indeed Extraordinarily Soft.

Steve Ray

! Wouldn't the daughter of a sister-in-law be a niece?

Steve Ray

"Johnstone started his writing career in 1970, but did not have any works published until 1979 (The Devil's Kiss) and became a full-time writer in 1980." "Bill, as he preferred to be called, began tutoring JA at an early age. After-school hours were often spent retyping manuscripts or researching his massive American Western History library as well as the more modern wars and conflicts. JA worked hard--and learned." Jo's date of birth isn't listed anywhere, but if she's a "niece" that Bill fathered in 1954, she'd have been 15 or 16 when he started his writing career in 1970, which would be "an early age" with "after-school hours." And that would match her having a love of writing and a deep affection for her older "uncle," especially if perhaps Bill's brother had learned the truth and decided to part ways with everyone involved. Who needs George R. R. Martin when we have the mystery of House Johnstone to unravel?

Jonathan Neavor

In the blockbuster sequel to TRIGGER WARNING, former Army Ranger Jake Rivers joins forces with his long-lost uncle, ex-Special Forces hero Barry "Dog" Rivers, the RIG WARRIOR. Now, these two very large boys must use their big boy punch hands to deal big, rowdy justice against the greatest gang of terrorists ever known: the SOY SQUAD, which has come from Mexico to enforce sharia law and make everyone kneel for the National Anthem. In this big new book from at least one living author, this elite team of big, big men will fight for ABSOLUTE TRUTH and ABSOLUTE JUSTICE. TRIGGER WARNING 2: ABSOLUTE UNIT

Steve Ray

And where does soy come from? Red China! They're smuggling soy in with the fentanyl!!!

Jonathan Neavor

They are going to take your guns and replace them with socialized medicine! Can Jake and Barry say the "Hussein" part of "Barack Hussein Obama" hard enough to defeat them?

Shoeboxjeddy

You murdered the book within the first 10 minutes (it took me almost the whole bit to realize you were saying the large man was, in fact, triggered by something) and then proceeded to dance on the corpse for another hour and 20 minutes. Wonderful work as always. I think you should consider splitting off the very ending into its own work, as it is an impressive work of junior detecting and logical conclusions that some people may not see because it's at the tail end of a 90 minute video.

Shoeboxjeddy

Is Jeff the Killer part 2 going to happen this year, or is that maybe not happening? This video reminded me of how incredible your part 1 video was.

Steve Ray

I hope Porterhouse Blue takes place in a Vampire Hogwarts, and "Porterhouse Blue" refers to how the protagonist loves FRESH BLOOD, like "a Porterhouse steak cooked blue rare," the last meal he ate as a human mortal...the other vampires thought that was funny but showed good instincts, and the nickname stuck.

Luis

I've watched countless big budget Hollywood blockbusters of the hour and a half variety that can't come close to the quality of this video or any of Jenny's other videos for that matter! The replay value alone is off the charts. Please keep up the excellent work and thank you so much Jenny!

Wayne Walls

One of the best things I have watched this year

jingoo

Jenny, this is great! Keep making long videos, but maybe they could be converted to podcasts as well? But maybe that would hurt the ad revenue...

Blue Corn

I'm going to start calling all women Lucy. And start calling all men Dog, just Dog.

Josh Draper

I honestly thought the twist was going to be that the author is actually liberal and writing a satire of right-wing paranoia, because that's exactly how it reads. The truth is far more depressing. Lots of good lines in this one...although I'm not sure if anything will ever top "I puddled my boat and then I was of."

Kitten McQueen

I. Need. A. Bad. Book. Reading. Club. Hell, I would just pay to get a list of the books Jenny found that are hilariously bad. She's on a whole nother level.

Paschal & Di

Ditto that. And the nil profanity helps too.