and there's no end in sight (Patreon)

I need the darkness, someone please cut the light

-"Sprawl II", Arcade Fire

I can't tell if I'm overstretched, or simply trying to expend my energy in the wrong places right now. I feel burned out. I've always had a lot of anxiety about writing, but lately it has been so intense that even captioning posts here has been too much. I haven't done a shoot in almost a month. Everything feels pointless and nothing (except skiing) feels good. I'm listening to this song on repeat, trying to figure out if I need time off, or a change in priorities, or a new creative direction. 

This song has always felt like what it purports to be about to me, until lately. Is this song about our relationship with the internet? About the ways we are stuck in this sprawl of (mis)communication, of expectations about always being online & available, of sharing and posting everything, with no end in sight? Food for thought. 

If you're curious, this is the cover I'm stuck on right now. 

Shot by Nathaniel from The Nudie Mag (Instagram)