Not very good at remembering things. (Patreon)

I'm sorry I'm so bad at remembering things, I'm not good at memory and keep wanting to try new things only to just forget that the ideas ever existed or even what they were. I don't know how to do this 'engagement' thing with people who support me and it's just a foreign concept more often than not. I can barely string together a stream every few days before dissolving into a day or two or three where I just don't care about anything at all.

I don't know what I want anymore and I'm struggling to >care< enough to try and find something to want or to work towards or to do. My dreams have all but evaporated from my mind. Video games, Animation, it's all either people 20 years younger with twice the experience I've had or overworking people to crush their dreams into dust.

I keep telling myself I want to get Boomer express back going again but I keep forgetting to work on it or get distracted by something else.

I don't know what I want anymore. I "want" to be lazy and play games but that also terrifies me because I have so much art to share with the world and no motivation to really dig it out of my mind... money is nice but... how do I make it a motivational thing? I can't think of anything to motivate me like a normal human being anymore.

I don't know. I am going to talk to a Life Coach again and get some help there. I want to care again.