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The Vampire Diaries S7E7 - "Mommie Dearest" - UNCUT (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-16 00:10:31
Imported:
2026-06
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FINALLY Lily has seen the light! Time to take that little bitch of a man down

Link 1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RTJzJf9NbNQxR6292HwK37XjW5QfyygI/view?usp=drive_link

Link 2: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/o1e2bh2ntgu38rqar7r61/TVD-S7E7.mp4?rlkey=bgd5mtx1ovv76t740qzl49tkr&dl=0

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Comments

Elizabeth Gates

To be honest, I just find most of Lily's reactions weird. I don't like how she handles things, but she's spent decades trying to get her "new family" back -- the ones she loves so much more than Damon and Stefan, and yet she wasn't really THAT upset about the deaths of two of them, the ostracization of one, and now the need to turn on the "love of her life" she's been waiting decades on. Obviously, it's good she's realized Julian is a bad guy, but she's weirdly even-tempered about things after they've happened for someone who can be so passionate about them in the moment.

Harry Allen
>>129883842

That is so fucking true, like she moved on from losing two of her new family SO quick. Like girlie got Julian back and suddenly forgot all about that pain of losing her 'children' like...

Patpet

In TVD a villain is never portrayed as simply bad and mono dimensional, they always give them motivations and a way to excuse their behaviour to themselves, that makes them incredibly realistic and very consistent with the real psychology of bad/psychos/narcissists/dark empaths people, they have used in the show as villain. The writers are big on psychology and season seven is a testament to that in particular. So, the difference with non villain characters is on the choices they consciously made and how those choices impact others and how those impacts on others lives effect them emotionally or not , how empathetic they are, or how they use others for personal gain, therefore how those choices are ethically or morally forgivable or not. Being a mother is a natural instinct, that put the female in question in a unique unconscious position to instinctively put your children before yourself, before your well being, before your own life. It is a real natural instinct on which the preservation of the human species relies on, same thing is with fathers. If you don’t have that instinct for a child that is your own or is put in your care something very wrong with you. In the case of Lilly I cannot find her being abuse too, an excuse to justify anything she has done to her children back then and in the present time, because her behaviour is consistent then and now. I understand how difficult it is for a first timer to put things together, because TVD is so jam packed with details that it’s easy to forget them and not connect the dots. But episode 2 of this season explain Lilly very well. Her and Giuseppe were a team in abusing their children, Giuseppe was abusing them physically and she was abusing them, well Damon, because Damon was protecting Stefan, and taking the blame for everything that went on that household. She explained that when Giuseppe biting would fail because Damon was resilient, would not give them the satisfaction to see him defatted, she would intervene to find another way to break him, with her psychological abuse, taking Damon’s toys away and not only Damon’s Stefan’s toys too to use Damon protective instinct playing against him and defeat him completely. Method she re-apply on him by taking Elena’s coffin away, by taking their house, their town etc. She is a narcissist, that wanted to escape only when she realised that her partner in crime turned against her too, as she did this time with Julian, she realise he was a monster ONLY because she got herself a taste of abuse. If she never got that from Giuseppe or Julian she would have been quite fine with letting Damon being abused. She stayed with Giuseppe for 17 years and after she got the chance to escape, as Damon said with a voice that break your heart “she toss us aside without any concern for what happen to us” why? Because the concern wasn’t there is the first place, she was only concerned about herself. Those train tickets was her trying to have an exit and bringing her children with her, two very young children that couldn’t see her faults couldn’t see her for what she was and still worship her, feeding her narcissistic ego. But given the choice she made the decisions she made. She cared about her new family much more than she ever cares for her natural children, why? Because they are submissive, see her as a head figure and feed her narcissistic ego, as Giuseppe and Julian did until they show possessiveness that is toxic and harmful to her, not before. She conveniently remembers things and uses them the moment she feel threatened, but that is manipulation, she did it when she was alone with Stefan, not in front of Damon, because Stefan was too young to remember and his desperate need to have a mother figure, open him to manipulation, not Damon that was old enough to remember how things went really, very well, she never showed him any tender gesture as she i with Stefan by touching his face. She knows that, she never attempted that with Damon, she didn’t hide who she is what she really feels because she knows that Damon is lost to her, he cannot be manipulated into loving “mommie dearest”, so she doesn’t care for him. And that is the conversation were Damon tell angrily to Stefan that was trying to make excuses for Lily, how it went down really, telling him how it is and how her manipulation will eventually end up in disappointment. So that is the consistency on her behaviour that cannot be excused, that doesn’t give Lily the legs to pass remotely as a decent human being let alone as a mother. By the way "Mommie dearest" was first a book written by Cristine Crawford then made into a film, where she descride the highly psycological abusive relationship between her and her nighmare of a mother Joan Crawford, the famous hollywood actress. This title is used by the writers of TVD not by chance.

Patpet

My heart breaks for Damon, the childhood he had, the profound effect that abuse had on him for the rest of his life, feeling unworthy of love, having emotional outburst every time someone treated him badly, because that was “ how much a man(a child) can take”, wanting to die because the only meaning to him at that time of being love (Katherine) he thought she die, and how he hold on to that hope for 145 years and how she hurt him after, repeatedly, knowing all of his background story. Damon was left in charge to cope with a drunken abusive father alone. Not that it was the first time, he always protected his brother. He was a better parent to Stefan than the two of them combined were ever to them. Damon had those normal natural instinct, and looking back at all the season you can see that all the time, he was teasing Stefan, promises him an eternity of misery he never did, he never badmouth his brother, he always patch him and Elena up, always big brother mode when Stefan was in danger, never burden him with his traumas, doing the dirty work for him so Stefan could claim his spot as the “good brother”. And also explain Stefan co-dependency from Damon, how he couldn’t let him die, and forced him to be a vampire with him, how he could also run to save him and care for him more that he cared for anybody else, how Damon let him blame him for everything that happen to him. Damon was his only real parent, the only one that took care of his wellbeing since they were very very young. His wanting to kill Julian linked to Lily with that sword there immediately, was the result all the talking done before and all the painful memories being brought to surface again, that was Damon the adult avenging Damon the child, the natural instinct of profound rage for the abuse and all the consequences he had to endure for all his life, knowing else that his meaning of happiness Elena is for him, is once again was taken away from him by that person that fail to act as a mother by doing little to nothing to protect him, by the very person that took part of that abuse and given the chance still doing it. He wanted her to know, how much he despires her, what does it feels to be betrayed by the people that should care about you. He didn't care the sword worked or not, that was his personal message to Lily.

Patpet
>>129883842

That is what someone with a narcissistic personality behave. People to her have to serve the purpose of feeing her ego, worshiping her. As soon as they cease to serve that purpose they are as good as dead. She isn't capable to have a real loving connection with people. She is manupulative as hell. That is why she didn't even try with Damon, he told her what he thinks of her, and she never showed him any hint of affection, back them and now. And that is why also Enzo was never a contestant, Enzo was made with a porpuse of being forever greatfull to her and be manipulated into submission as the rest of her "fabricated children", put together and specifically chosen for that purpose. Enzo is not that much manipulatable and he is not a partner in crime, as Giuseppe and Julian were, that is why in her mind he never fitted in with her "family" in the role of a child or as partner.

Maribel Humble

I believe Lily didn't have a mother’s instinct for her children. What mother is going to let her child be abused like Damon burned with a cigar? How can Lily stand there and do nothing after seeing the fear her five years had on his face and being treated as if on a leash? How can she let her older son run past her after being burned with a cigar and not comfort him when Giuseppe is not there? What mother psychologically manipulates her ten-year-old child by forcing Damon to admit something he didn't do? Damon only admitted to breaking the vase after she took his and Stefan's toys away. What mother would further engage in the abuse of a ten-year-old child with black and blues on his body because Giuseppe used a switch and whipped Damon? Do you know how much being whipped by a switch hurts? The pain from a switch on the body is like a burning electrical current vibrating throughout the body. It is an acute pain. Do you think that after Guiseppe beat Damon till he had those bruises on his body, Damon would lie? Her not intervening when her child is burned doesn't seem like a good plan to escape when she takes all that money that alerts Giuseppe that something is wrong. If Lily wanted to escape, she would have been more discreet with her plan since she knew that Giuseppe was always a step ahead. Now, Why did Lily only tell Stefan that story of those tickets to get away from the abuse and not when both her sons were present in the room with her? Why not tell Damon about those tickets since Damon was the one who took most of the abuse? I agree with Patpet about not believing Lily's story with those tickets. Lily’s actions as a human and then as a vampire toward her children lead me to that conclusion. What kind of mother leaves her children with a monster and does not try to protect her children somehow since she has the upper hand on Giuseppe after becoming a vampire? Why did Lily not help her children after becoming a vampire? I believe she saw her children as an extension of Giuseppe, a man who abused and manipulated her. Damon and Stefan were a reminder of that era in her life. That Lily came to visit Stefan after becoming a vampire was a tiny measure of a mother saying goodbye to her small child but I also believe she was saying goodbye to that life with Giuseppe. Sending Valerie and Oscar to check on her children when Stefan was 17 and Damon was 25 was to make her feel better about herself since she abandoned them to a monster like Giuseppe.

Maribel Humble

Comment by Newmoon: “This episode showed us how parentication happens in a dysfunctional family. It's a situation where a child's role and the parents's role have been replaced with each other, and the child would take the role of parent and have to take care of the siblings and even the parents themselves. The flashbacks scene showed us that Damon was so much more than a big brother to Stefan; he was a parental figure to him. Damon had already been abused by his parents before Stefan was even born, he knew exactly how it feels like to be hurt by people who are supposed to love you unconditionally and he didn't want Stefan to go through the same thing so he chose to take blame for everything that went wrong in the household so Stefan would be protected, he was willing to put himself through the pain of the abuse and sacrifice his childhood if it meant Stefan would have a better one than his, but he himself was just a child and this is too much emotional responsibility to put on the shoulder of a child because child's brain is not developed enough to be able to process complex emotional responses like that the way adult's brain can and this could cause some huge developmental issues which explains why Damon had such a hard time controlling his emotions in adulthood, as the result of his childhood abuse, he developed C PTSD that cause some huge emotional outburst when ever he got deeply hurt and his CPTSD triggers got activated usually by emotional manipulation of others. Parentification is a form of abuse in itself because it pushes the child into adulthood too soon. Usually, the most mature, empathetic, and spiritually evolved member of the family would take a role like this. These children are very intuitive; they can sense and recognize unjust treatment and cruelty by their parents, and because of their protective and caregiving nature, they can't help but find themselves in the position of a parent for their younger siblings. They believe they're the only one who can take care of the family, and without them, the whole family would fall apart so as the result, they tend to suppress their own emotions and neglect their own needs because they believe family has enough problems to deal with no need to add another one so they would keep their problems to themselves and choose to suffer alone in silence and they carry this mindset into adulthood always putting their loved ones needs above their own which explains why Damon always choose not to burden his loved ones with his issues and tend to keep all of his problems to himself. Damon's emotions were never validated by his parents anyway, so he learned to suppress them even more so he could focus on protecting Stefan, and as the result, he never fully learned how to process his own emotions properly. He was the adult figure and an emotional support for Stefan, but he himself didn't have the similar figure to do the same for him. So the fact that Stefan can control and manage his emotions better than Damon is because of Damon, and the reason Stefan didn't develop narcissistic traits was because he had another loving adult figure in his life that gave him unconditional love, unlike his parents and taught him to validate his own emotions. S6E15 Stefan: "Father said we're not to cry." Damon: "That's because father is incapable of human emotions; you're 10; you cry if you feel like it." After their mother's death, Damon had to be both father and mother for Stefan, he couldn't rely on his father because he was drunk and miserable most of the time, so the whole responsibility of the household was on his shoulders, and he literally had to raise Stefan who was only 10 at the time all by himself. Stefan was sheltered and protected by Damon all his human life; now we can see why Stefan loves Damon so much and feels so dependent on him and can't imagine living in the world without him. We saw how Stefan fell apart in So after Damon's death, losing Damon is like losing a parent for Stefan, and he can't even bare the thought of that."

Maribel Humble

Comment by Newmoon: "In the flash back we can see the dynamic in a narcissist family, narcissist father (Guiseppi), an enabler mother(Lily), the golden child (Stefan) and the scapegoat (Damon) First I want to talk about the psychology of the enabler parent, the enabler parent is the parents who would let the abuse happen, they either would stay still and act indifferent toward the abuse or they would even join with a narcissist father and take part in the abuse that's usually targeted at the scapegoats. The enabler parent have this simple mindset in their head, "if you can't beat the monster, join them", ', they believe, they're already powerless against their abuser partner so they think "if i make him happy maybe he hurt me less", so they become a narcissist pleaser because they're afraid of being hurt by them and because they want to get their partner's approval, so if punishing the scapegoat would put them in a narcissist's good grace, they would do it. The abuse of children is not possible without the help of the enabler parent. The enabler parent are very weak minded individuals who would put their wellbeing above their own children and would practice the mentality of "better you than me", they would do absolutely everything not to put themselves at any conflict with their abusive husband so they would support the abuse and even join it because they want to avoid being hurt by her abusive husband by any means possible. We saw in E2 of this season when Lily was talking the incident when her vase got broken and they blamed it on Damon and in order to get the confession out of him, his father beated him until he was bloody but Damon still refused to lie about something he didn't do and then LiLy took it even further and took his toys from him and from Stefan. she psychologically abused both of them, made Damon feel guilty that he's the cause of Stefan's suffering and the simple confession from him would end Stefan's suffering so Damon finally confessed to the lie just because of Stefan. What she did was even worse than a physical abuse and it could damage the child's psyche even more, so she was just as abusive as her husband it not more but her abuse was more subtle that his husband that was harder for her children to see and acknowledge as much as their father."

Maribel Humble

Comment by Newmoon: Now let's talk about the dynamics between the scapegoat and the enabler parent. The scapegoat is the one who would be blamed for everything that went wrong in the household and then they would be punished for them, so obviously they're the one who would take most of the physical and psychological abuse,so let's dive deep in tho the mind of an abused child, when a child's been abused, they immediately direct the anger toward themselves rather than their parents because in their mind, parents are the one who are always in the right and they can't do wrong, the children think if they've been punished, they probably deserved it but children are also very intuitive, they can sense something is not right with the way they've been treated so there's another part of them that wants to rebel against the feeling of unworthiness that the abuse make them feel so they would look for someone who would help them to believe they didn't do anything wrong and it's the narcissist parent who are hurting them for no reason, so they would look for the enabler parent hoping they would defend them but unfortunately that's exactly what they don't do, the enabler would side with the narcissist every time and enforce the feeling of unworthiness even more. Damon was already psychologically abused on that day when his father made him behead his own pet turkey. Damon have hyper sensitivity, its the quality that makes you feel things on a higher level and would heightened your senses. These individuals are incredibly empathetic and deeply sensitive and that's exactly what his father hated the most about him, in the era of time where toxic masculinity was very much alive, his father was trying his hardest to take away Damon's sensitivity by teaching him the idea of not feeling sorry for an animal and only see them as a means to satisfy his hunger. Lily didn't help Damon about this also and Damon's turkey was slaughtered anyway but at the dinner table Damon was still looking for help so he wouldn't at least have to eat something that was so dear to him so if you pay attention to Damon's facial expression, he looked at his mom and begged for her help with a hopeful and the same time helpless look on his face but Lily again didn't help him, she took a glance at his husband and sided with him, "you heard your father Damon" So Damon had to finish the meal. Also the scapegoat wants to believe that enabler parent is not as bad as the narcissist that they at least has one "good" parent, they want to believe the reason the parent won't help and protect them is because they're not aware of the abuse that's happening, it's easier for them to believe that the enabler parent was deluded or manipulated by their partner that they couldn't see the abuse than to believe the enabler was just as abusive as the narcissist and the children were utterly alone and helpless in that house hold with two horrible parents that don't care about them. That's why Damon got even more angry at Lily after she confessed that she knew about everything, because up until now Damon's issues with Lily was about everything that happened after she turned in to a vampire and the fact that she abandoned them, he still had good memories about her and wanted to believe she was a good mother at least as a human but now it was like all the lights in the room got turned on for him and he was able to see Lily for who she really is that she's just as abusive as Giuseppe was. Lily thought she was defending herself when she said she was aware of all the abuse but that made Damon even more angry knowing she was aware and still she didn't do anything to stop it. Damon had to finally accept the hard truth that both of his parents were horrible and abusive, the truth that Stefan still struggling to accept because of the fact that he was raised as the golden child, he was at the centre of all the affection and attention so it was hard for him to see their parents for who they are and he's desperately trying to find an excuse for Lily because he wants to believe, the love he gets from her was actually genuine. He's not ready to accept the fact the love was conditional and it was never about him. It's very hard for the scapegoat to make the golden child see the truth and finally see through the manipulation and see their parents for who they really are because they want to stick to their comfort zone as tight as possible and refuse to believe they were never loved just as much the scapegoat because the love that they received was fake, this is terrifying thought for them to accept."