SAO with a Guidebook: Chapter 8 (Patreon)

Chapter 08 

I Don't Own anything. 

'thought' 

"Speech" 

"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..." 

[Starting Split] 

I ran out of iron throwing picks. 

Shame... 

That last elf had to be slowly chipped down with copper ones which took ages. 

I'm thankful that Dark Spike seems to stack with my 'ninty percent first hit' armor piercing, meaning I was cutting through ninty-five percent of its armor every time I hit something after the first attack. 

I made about seventeen thousand Cor and collected five 'Elven Scrap Metal'. 

Despite pumping my int after every level, I didn't manage to get any of the other drops. 

Seven level forty enemies died to my thrown blades...  

So I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself~ 

Pendragon: Level 15 (1.4%) Hp: 815/815 Sp: 415/415 

Strength: 11* (1+10) Vitality: 3 Endurance: 3 Agility: 12* (10+2) Dexterity: 7* (6+1) Intelligence: 28 

I'm going full int-build now. 

I... can definitely see a difference. The Int stat seems to scale experience gain as well. I'm getting almost double the XP I used to. 

The main issue someone may come across doing what I'm doing would be the whole 'can't kill things to make use of that stat' thing. 

And... Fair. 

But I don't think I'm really meant for the front lines. With this gift, it'd be much easier to just give everyone the tools to succeed without putting my life on the line. 

And now? 

Now I'm back on the first floor, stabbing boars in the eye with throwing knives. 

I'm making good progress. It's only been four hours and I've already managed to knock out over two hundred true crits! 

If I keep this pace I should have Kaishingeki by tomorrow! 

[Split] 

"Throughout Heaven and Aincrad... I alone... hold the power to crash Aincrad's economy..." I stand in the middle of a hallway, raising a blade above my head. 

"Imaginary technique... Cashout." I whisper, throwing pick glowing gold as it soars from my hand, sinking into the spider and causing it to detonate with a flash of gold as instead of shattering into little motes of light... it instead bursts into numerous coins that quickly fade from existence. 

A low sigh leaves my lips a smile forming on my lips. 

Three spider rings sit in my inventory... from that one singular kill. 

Swordskill: Cashout. Requirements: Blade Throwing 100, Kaishingeki A Blade Throwing skill unqiue to Kaishingeki, when this skill secures the last hit on an enemy they drop 10% more loot. If this attack is a critical hit, the enemy drops a further 10% more loot, with each additional critical hit improving this by double the previous multiplier. This skill automatically scores a critical hit. Note: This skill breaks the standard one-item limit on mobs when it is used. Thus if you have an item that has a 50% drop chance, and you improve it higher than 100% (Be it through increasing your Intelligence stat or through this skill) you have a chance to get multiple copies of the item.  Example: if an item has a 105% chance to drop for you, you will gain one garanteed copy of the item upon slaying the enemy with a 5% chance to gain another. Sword Skill Damage: 50% of Normal Attack damage. 

Cashout. A fucking bullshit sword skill. 

Well, actually, it scales on Kaishingeki, which is also bullshit. 

Kaishingeki {Unique Skill} {Level: Max} The art of fate manipulation. Some warriors use this skill to develop truly devastating attacks capable of rending foes in half with just a papercut. Critical Hit rate is doubled, removes the 'limit' on critical hits.   

Basically from what I can tell, this skill just lets you roll crits multiple times... 

So like... you get a crit, it then proceeds to roll again to see if you crit that crit. Then if you crit that crit it rolls a third time to see if you crit that crit of your crit and so on... infinitely. 

If you have the goddess of luck on speed dial and she owes you a free blowjob? You can one-shot any boss in the game with a throwing dagger through exponential growth of damage. 

If you're unlucky or have more 'mundane' luck... it's still kind of bullshit but not really a 'solo bosses' sort of skill. 

I mean, its sword skills all automatically critically hit, but in turn they deal none of the extra damage sword skills typically do. For example, 'Dark Spike' which also needed a blade throwing skill of one hundred does two hundred percent damage and the normal non-unique skill throwing skill... just regular 'spike', deals one hundred and fifty percent. 

The core issue with the skill is that not many things have a critical hit rate high enough for this to become valuable. 

When I was buffed, using a throwing pick and the luck potion, there's a ten percent chance to do four times damage, one percent chance to do eight times damage, one in-one thousand chance to do sixteen times damage and so on... and that's merely with my throwing picks. For an ACTUAL weapon it's much lower. 

I might find a dagger that has an improved crit rate in the future, or some sort of accessory that does the same but I haven't yet. 

'now... let's see here... three rings, got my potion back, and- and- and-' 

"..." 

I open my friends list hands shaking. 

Pendragon: "Argo! Argo Argo Argo!" 

Pendragon: "I GOT IT!" 

Pendragon: "FUCNG RAREST DROP!!!" 

Pendragon: "Holy shidd light headd." 

Argo: "EH?! YOOOOOOOO! OI OI! Brat boy! Get out of that dungeon before you celebrate!" 

I walk through the halls in almost a daze, eventually coming to the entrance where I slide down the wall. 

Thrimblebor's Journal: {Usable Item} The notes of the mad alchemist Thrimblebor who managed to distil fortune and fate itself into a bottle.  Unlocks the recipes for 'Minor', 'Lesser', 'Average', 'Greater' and 'Supreme' Luck Potions.  

Use? [Yes] [No] 

I slowly and shakily reach out and tap 'yes'. 

Notice: You do not have the 'Alchemy' skill. Would you like to learn 'Alchemy'? 

[Yes] [No] 

I tap yes and suddenly there's a bright glow in front of me. 

Notice: Alchemy comes with subskill 'Harvest' you do not have any open skill slots. Would you like to delete a skill? 

[Yes] [No] 

I tap yes again, opening my skill window. 

I reach out, tapping the 'One-Handed Sword' skill. 

I only had that because I was using the Venomfang... I'm swapping to a dagger full-time now. Mainly because a dagger's crit ratio is double that of the One-Handed Sword's. 

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. "Well now... this changes things." 

Notice: Composite skills generated. 'Bestiary' x 'Harvest'. Bestiary retroactively updating any and all alchemical reagents dropped by monsters within the filled-out bestiary. 

Ah. Composite skills... they're quite rare. Martial Arts is probably one of the more 'Open' skills. It's apparently generated dozens of new sword skills for those who train both it and the skill for a weapon. 

The one for Dagger- that I currently have unlocked- is called 'Blitz' which is a four-hit combo of two slashes, a punch, and a kick. 

Pendragon: "It was a book of potion recipes... I learned them and unlocked alchemy 2 floors early." 

Argo: "OH!" 

I'm definitely getting praised by her the next time we meet. 

[Split] 

I slink into town, a smile on my lips. 

Today's the day of the raid strategy meeting. It's also the first time I'm meeting up with Argo or, well, anyone in about six days. 

My inventory is heavily weighed with rings and other goodies. 

Well... 

Just rings and potions, mostly. 

I slip into the meeting hall right behind some guy in wooden armor- I think I farmed that- and look around. 

A smile forms on my face as I can see the one I was looking for and quickly make my way over. "Well well well, if it isn't my dearest Rat! It's been so long!" 

"Arty boooy~" the girl grins. "Comere for a sec!" 

She grabs my wrist and drags me behind a pillar. 

"Yeah?" I mutter as I can see her quickly move through her menu. A long body-length cloak clings to her body like a massive hoodie, obscuring pretty much everything aside from her face. 

"Look in your settings for a moment?" 

"I- okay?" 

"Go here." I follow along as she lists numerous directions. "Then here. Tap this. And toggle it to off for a second." 

Filter: ON/off 

I tap the button twice. 

Filter: on/OFF 

"Okay... what did that-" 

She smirks then slightly opens her cloak. 

"Bwuah?!" 

She- 

She's naked. 

What? 

Where's the classic rpg boxers and bandages?! 

Her smirk grows as my eyes dance across her form. "See something you liiiike~" 

"I thought I'd just reward the lucky boy who unlocked alchemy two floors early!" She cups one of her- admittedly fairly small breasts, pushing it up to try and make it look even slightly bigger. "Better burn this into your memory... the next time you see this will be a special occasion." 

She moves through her menu, then suddenly she's wearing the classic 'your rpg character is naked' underwear once more... she's still utterly smoking hot in it, though. 

Almost in a daze I reach out and re-toggle the filter back to 'on' "W-Wow..." 

She seems to re-equip her armor as she drags me out and we take a seat towards the back of the room... in a location that is notably not a seat so people don't accidentally bother us. 

I still can barely think of anything except what I just saw, the girl pulls my arm around her shoulder and rests my hand on her hip. "So... how have you been, Mr Alchemy?" 

I quickly snap out of my daze, shaking my head. 'Ah- I've been grinding. Going full-int has been... certainly a decision if I do say so myself. I- ah..."  

I find my eyes slowly trailing down her face to her neck, she has a reserved smile on her face, a blush on her cheeks. "I've made a few potions... I had to give a call to the legends brave a while back and ask if they'd lay off that ladybug mob for a bit." 

"Huh? Is it an alchemical reagent?" 

"Yep. Most rare mobs seem to be one I've found out." I murmur quietly eyes straying to the girl's armored chest poking out of her open cloak. 

Her eyes seem to glint. "Wow. I really messed you up, hnnn? Actually... I do have a question that's been on my mind. You think Kayaba programmed a pregnancy debuff in this game? cause I don't see any condoms."  

"Well..." I sputter, looking away as I cough into my fist. "Uhm..." 

"Want to hear a conspiracy theory th-thaaat um... I'm just thinking up right now?" 

She blinks twice. "Shoot." 

"What if... and- here me out here... Kayaba was hired by the Japanese government to solve the birth rate crisis." 

She takes a breath to say something as I can hear a small snort about ten feet to our left as I continue. "So he makes a private military group. Creates sword art online. Traps us all in here and makes the perfect scenario for a bunch of hormonal teens to say the words 'You don't want to die a virgin, right?' So when they have sex, has his private military group artificially inseminate those players with the other players because they all completely and totally consented in-game and he has the records to prove it." 

She gives me a flat stare as my eyes briefly stray past her. 

My heart stops briefly before I look away. 

"That's stupid." 

"Well what reason do you think he did all this shit. Do you know how UTTERLY unsatisfying it would be if at the end of all this, we reach the top of the tower, the guy who is PROBABLY watching us like ants in a farm appears and is all 'Congratulations on beating my game.' We all ask 'Why! Why would you do this?!' And he's all just 'Lol I forgor. Anyways enjoy months physical therapy cause your bodies atrophied.' 

"I don't know, social experiment?" The girl shrugs. "Or maybe he wants to cripple VR as a medium or something?" 

"If he wanted to do that he'd have triggered all this shit after more than just ten thousand players joined." I scoff. "Like, a hundred thousand... or a million." 

"Maybe his publisher fucked him over in some sort of industrial sabotage and only made ten thousand copies of the game so it'd be categorized as a total flop and Kayaba was all 'fuck it I'm making a statement in blood'." I ponder 

"If we try to understand the whims of a madman we'll be here all day." The girl in my arms grumbles. 

"Hm..." I hum quietly as I open my menu and quietly tap out a message. 

Pendragon: "We're stealthed, right?" 

"Hnnn..." The girl in front of me hums. "Yeah." 

She continues speaking like she hadn't replied and was moving onto another topic as I delete my message. "Anyways, I'm taking you on another date, Arty if it's the last thing I do." 

Pendragon: "I'm like 90% sure that the guy ten feet to our left snorted at my 'Kayaba is solving the birth crisis joke'." 

"Well, I'd love to go on another date! It feels so long since I saw you! I really missed hanging out with you. It was just so... so peaceful. Especially when we camped out in that cave, just the two of us." I can feel the girl stiffen in my arms as I delete the message. 

Her hand interlocks with my own and squeezes tightly, her gaze meeting my own. 

Pendragon: "Either glitched skill compared to us or Kaya's here to play." 

"Wow, I must be so damn rude just tapping away with one arm." I sigh completely erasing my message. "I've just got some things for Kirito, Asuna, and Diavel... I think I'm finally bowing out of the front line." 

"You sure?" She asks. 

I squeeze her hand twice. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure. With raiding, my stat distribution wouldn't help... despite the fact that, well..." 

Pendragon: Level 18 (55.9%) Hp: 965/965 Sp: 490/490 

Strength: 1  Vitality: 3 Endurance: 3 Agility: 22* (10+12) Dexterity: 13* (6+7) Intelligence: 37 

"I'm a good seven levels above Diavel. Actually, on that topic, what's been the reaction to Kirito and Asuna. If I remember correctly they should be at like... level fourteen, right?" 

Her gaze strays across the room, pausing on the man with long silvery hair to our left. He looks like if Sephiroth worked a nine to five till he wanted to blow his brains out, frankly. "Yep. There's been a little tension. But they explained it away as them 'defeating' the Forest Elf Hallowed Knight and opening a new quest path. To be completely fair it was a miniboss from like... the tenth floor so everyone's accepted that." 

"Plus, Asuna's got that damn sword now." She sighs.  

"Hah?" 

"I gave her the ring." The girl explains. 

"Oh!" I mutter. "I see. Yeah. She's about to eviscerate the boss then, hm?" 

"Probably." 

"Buuuut if you gave her the ring... I should probably reimburse you." 

I send her two more rings. 

"And, because I want to protect my Rat. You can have these two as well. It's not like I'd ever be able to wear them." 

"Oh..." She faintly whispers. "Oh, Arty you really are too good for me." The girl whispers. "We can talk later, Diavel's starting... your room perhaps?" 

"I don't own one. I've been living out of that dark elf camp basically." I state. 

"Ooooh. Kirito said they only have a mixed bath... you see Kizimel in there? She doesn't seem to care about things like 'privacy'. 

"Frankly... I've been bathing in my underwear because I didn't know there was a fucking nudity toggle." 

"Heh." The girl huffs. 

"Also... I... don't exactly know how to answer that." I deadpan, "Is this more of a 'My girlfriend is Bi, we can totally bond over talking about hot girls' or is this more of a 'put your head into a beartrap' sort of question." 

Her smile grows and for a moment she seems to have forgotten about the virtual reality terrorist elephant in the room. "I'll never tell~ I think it's funnier to watch you stress about it, Arty boy!" 

[Split] 

We both lay flat on her bed, staring at her ceiling. 

"I'm sooooo friggin stressed." She groans. "Seriously?! Is HE actually here?!" 

"Probably..." I answer. "He was alone, just within earshot, snorted right after I said something ridiculous and mildly schizophrenic." 

"What- What do we do?!" She wheezes, clutching the sides of her head. 

"Nothing. Because if he has the skills to detect us, he's clearly cheating. He has the console. He clearly just wants to play in this shitty world, probably has some form of immortality where his health can't drop below one percent. If we confront him on floor three... if we gather everyone and are all 'we figured you out, bastard!' before he has his fill it's all 'Oh bother. Slash-Kill Argo. Slash-Kill Pendragon'. Then he makes a new avatar and goes back to floor one." The girl lets out a pained sound as I gently hold her. 

"Hey, it'll be okay. We can do this. We can get through this." I whisper. "There's always the chance that my suspicion is wrong... but... I'm not about to chance it." 

We lay there in each other's arms for a long moment. 

"So... do you want something to improve your mood?" I eventually ask, staring at the ceiling of the wooden room, wood grains cross the walls, ceiling, and floors of this little box, like someone carved a massive chunk out of a truly titanic tree and made it into a penthouse. 

Because, well, that's what happened. 

"Hnn?" She tiredly murmurs. 

"I got the crit skill finally." 

One sole eye cracks open. "Hm? Really? Is it as good as your other one?" 

"It might be better." I answer causing her to instantly sit up, a grin crosses her lips as she turns to face me.  

"Oh?" She asks, cheshire grin on her face. "What does it do, then~" 

"Removes my limit on crits... my crits can crit and those crits can crit which can crit and even crit some more." I list blandly. "I could walk up to the final boss right this second, throw a knife, and promptly detonate it with an infinitely scaling critical hit... of course that's like a... one in a billion chance. Probably one in a trillion trillions, but it could still happen..." 

"..." 

"Unless Kayaba's a bitch boy and put immortality phases in the boss. Those always suck so bad." 

"So wait... you've got no limit on crits, then? None at all?" She asks. 

"Most of the sword skills seem to automatically trigger a critical hit as well. The issue is, well, low crit rate." 

"But that can be solved with luck potions." She states. 

"Eh, somewhat." I agree. "What's really got my attention is the 'Cashout' throwing sword skill which removes the cap on item drops and increases drop rates somewhat." 

"Removes the cap on... item drops?" She echoes. 

"Alright. So. With my current Int stat at thirty seven, I have roughly double the regular drop rate. BUT. I can only get one instance of an item PER kill. So, I automatically get a normal fifty-fifty drop and that's it. However. With the sword skill active. I kill something with the skill, with the same fifty percent drop rate, that's automatically one item, then a random chance to get a second. Like... twenty percent." 

"So if you were to keep buffing your stats eventually you'll reach a point where you get dozens of items per kill?" 

"I'm already averaging three guaranteed drops per secret mob." I smirk. 

"How- How many rings do you HAVE?!" 

"Thirteen! Two for me. Two for you. One for Asuna and two for Kirito, that's six remaining ones that you have to decide what to do with... before long the ENTIRE raiding party will be equipped and have an extra five levels worth of stats in Agility and Dexterity." 

"Speaking of an extra five levels of stats on agility and dexterity." The girl rises to her feet, then with a flash she removes her cloak. "I can equip that armor you gave me!" 

I watch her clothes glow then shift she wears black stockings with large portions removed, tannish green short-shorts cover her lower half, a metallic battle skirt around her waist, a mix of green silk and golden accents surrounds her torso like a corset. A green cape is draped around her shoulders. 

"That... doesn't look like a coat and pants." I deadpan. 

"It was a coat and pants?" She blinks. 

"Yes?" 

"Huh..." She looks over her mini skirt, stockings and corset. "I guess some armor sets change depending on gender? It was always an 'Elven Armored Corset' and 'Elven Armored Leggings' for me." 

"But!~ I really do appriciate this, Arty, this sort of armor's not something we'd get until like... floor ten! It REALLY feels nice to be so well protected! I guarantee that I have like... double the defense stat of even the best tank down there." 

She brings a finger to her lips and smirks. "But I definitely won't be saying anything. I certainly don't want to face-tank the treant of doom." 

"On that." I begin quietly, has there been any information about the boss?" 

"Yes! Kirito and Asuna gained a bunch of information by finishing the elf questline. I assume we got so much because we managed to save both NPCs and kill the Falconer in the first quest. You missed out on a floor eight field boss coming down, but with Asuna's new sword... to be completely and totally honest, she, that damn mutt tamer, and Kizmel managed to defeat him and as a result, we know all of the patterns of Nerius the Evil Treant AND he has apparently been weakened." 

"Oh... oh wow..." I mutter. "I guess that means the next floor's quest is going to be even harder then?" 

"Probably." The girl sighs, laying back in bed beside me. "How has your potions been doing?" 

"I've managed to get the skill up to fifty already." With a wave of my hand I open a trade window and show her an example. 

Small Least Health Potion {Crafted}: {Consumable} A lime green potion created from exotic grasses and healing herbs, heals health over a fairly short period of time. Heals 147 Hp over 60 seconds 

"Ooooh that's actually pretty good." The girl observes. "The ones in the shop heal one hundred twenty five, right?" 

"Yep." I hum. "Really simple to gather the ingredients as well with my Int so high. I have a little over double drop-rate for them." 

"How'd you get your skill to fifty so fast? Normally that'd take at least a month even if you dump the highest quality ingredients into it." 

Alchemy in this game is... kind of like Skyrim Alchemy just without the 'tasting ingredients' thing... I basically just take two ingredients, smash them together, and see if they make a potion. Even if it doesn't work... I do still get a little experience for it. 

"I've been dumping alchemy ingredients from secret mobs into it almost non-stop." I smile. "Plus, of the potions I DO know how to make... Luck Potions give ludicrous experience... here, you want one?" 

Minor Luck Potion {Crafted}: {Consumable} A potion with a truly groundbreaking effect. While the weakest of the luck potions, it still an utter masterpiece of alchemy. The drinker multiplies their weapon's natural crit-chance,the Cor the gain from slain enemies, and the drop rate of 'rare' items (Items with less than a 25% chance of dropping) by x1.147, and in addition multiplies the drop rates of 'Legendary' items by a further x1.588 (Items with less than a .5% chance of dropping). This potion lasts for 1 Minute and 28 Seconds. 

"Nah, I'm good. It's probably for the best that you keep them." She shakes her head. "I'm good on items for a while after my sugar daddy keeps dumping the best items on me." 

"Hey, something's got to keep your fine ass alive. If you die I won't be able to look at you anymore and that's a crime!" I grin. 

The girl flushes at that comment, glancing to the side briefly. 

I look to her legs where her strange black stockings cling to her legs, they seem to leave the front and back of her thigh open. 

I stick a finger into the cloth, pull it back, then let it snap against her leg, causing her to let out a small 'eek'. "Why'd they make it like this, though? I swear fantasy armor and their bullshit magic protection." 

"You pervert!" The girl blushes. "Touching this Rat's thighs like that. Have you no shame!" 

"Says the girl who flashed me." I deadpan causing her to sputter. 

"Y-You're supposed to look at art! Not touch it!" 

"Oh. One of these days I'm going to put my hands aaaaaall over that sculpture." I huff. 

"Arty!" The girl cries. 

[Endsplit]