🍁 FaLLEN Rebooted Chapter 1 Script (Patreon)

Published:

2022-09-09 15:04:33

Imported:

2026-06

Content

I finally have some FaLLEN-related material for you... the completed script for the new Chapter 1 that will kickstart a full-color FaLLEN comic release. I am hoping for a broader audience with this reboot, so while most of the story/themes stay the same I want to tone down the nudity and give Lamia a bit more to do in the first chapter. I am hoping people will like this change but if people don't want to go back and re-read any of FaLLEN, they won't really miss anything. That was a real challenge! The story will be 99% the same from Chapter 4 onward, but I am condensing the old chapter 2 and 3 into one chapter and spreading the first chapter 1 into two parts. There is a new monster this time (think sandworms from Beetlejuice) and more emphasis on the idea that Arma is naturally more inclined to protect those around her over herself, but most of all there is a new character and a whole new intro scene which will, hopefully, give people some idea of things to come in the future.

Please feel free to leave your honest thoughts below! If you hate it, let me know. If you feel something is missing, let me know. The second part (Ch. 2) will go up next week. This chapter is available to ALL patrons, but from Ch. 2 onward it will be for the Main Pledges tier and up.

Also, if you have never read one of my scripts, I don't use a very dumbed down version of traditional comic script formatting because I am both the author and artist, so I don't need to get too specific for myself with descriptions or notes, etc.

p1 or p2, etc means Panel 1, Panel 2, and so on.

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FaLLEN REBOOT

Chapter 1: Starting Over

Page 1

A beautiful dark-skinned woman with long, kinked hair and a flowing green Greco-Roman-styled dress is blasted back against a set of titanic doors.

She bursts through and skids across the floor, a small cage flies from her hand and clangs against the tile.

Wearily, she peers inside and discovers it is empty.

Gaia oc: It’s gone!

Page 2

The woman, Mater Gaia, picks herself up and looks around her.

The entryway is littered with the corpses of twisted creatures and winged, humanoid soldiers.

Gaia oc: Everything is… gone.

Wearily, she retrieves the birdcage and limps back to the throne room and shuts the great door behind her.

Gaia: This isn’t what I wanted for them… for us.

The throne room is quiet. A dark blade pierces a monstrous figure slumped over an enormous throne.

Gaia: The Unnamed has been slain.

Page 3

She looks at the empty birdcage again.

Gaia: I was weak. I let it escape…

Above the throne is a large, round window. Earth floats against an iridescent backdrop behind a celestial haze. The colors are not representative of true earth/space images.

Gaia: I should retrieve it. Follow it on—

Again, the cage falls to the floor with a loud clang. Gaia wretches into her palm, flecks of blood glistening across the cage, the floor, and herself.

Gaia: I am weak. I have exhausted my Aeonian powers.

Her body quivers, her eyes rolling back as she lurches forward. She is physically spent.

Gaia: My cross must be borne by the next generation…

Page 4

Slowly, she reaches out a bloodied hand, her eyes unfocused.

Gaia: Vox will know what to do. The Guardians will protect my progeny…

Gaia: …and the Fallen…

The birdcage is inches from her fingertips.

Gaia: …will lead YOU back to me.

Panel fades to dark, a transitional page from the crimson blood on the floor from Gaia, to dark, then lighter with bubbles forming near the bottom where the dark becomes a more pinkish hue.

TITLE: FaLLEN

Chapter 1: Starting Over

art and story by Ogawa Burukku

Page 5

Very similar to original draft. Arma is floating in pink goop. Though she is still naked, you do NOT see nipples, etc in this version.

VOICE: …out…

Arma opens her eyes.

VOICE: …come out…

Arma floats on, her expression mixed.

Arma: I can’t… I’m supposed to stay here.

Arma: It’s better this way.

Page 6

The number of bubbles increases.

VOICE: You’re hiding.

Arma: I think so, but…

Arma: I don’t remember why.

Hair tentacles shoot up from the abyss below.

VOICE: Don’t you know the rules?

VOICE: Once you’ve been found…

The tentacles wrap around Arma. Similar to original with face overlay on side, but body has Arma struggling against the light gray hairs.

Arma: H-Hey!!

VOICE: …the game is over!!

Page 7

Arma is pulled into the darkness, bubbles flying. Her hand flies up, but the hairy tentacle wraps around her wrist.

Arma: Let go of me!!

Arma’s hand, same as original.

Arma: Stop!!

Transition panel.

Arma oc: I need to be here!!

Page 8

Arma is on floor of cave. It’s dark with bluish hues. She is covered in webbing and pink goo.

Eye opening.

Arma starts to get up. She is filthy and naked. Again, no nipples, etc are visible in this version. Pink goo covers her body.

Arma: I can barely see anything! What is all this??

Close-up of hands holding webbing.

Arma: What’s this sticky stuff??

View from ceiling, Arma is looking up at web remnants. More light enters cave.

Arma: It’s too dark to see, but…

Arma: It kind of looks like a giant cocoon… (gross!)

Page 9

Large panel. Cave lights up with vibrant blue and green lights, bathing Arma and her surroundings in beautiful hues…. FaLLEN isn’t a black and white comic anymore!

Arma: A cave!

Arma: But then, what are all these lights—

Dainty foot steps forward.

Munchkin: Actually…

Arma face. A worm drops down.

Munchkin oc: The lights are caused by glowworms.

Munchkin oc: They nest on the fungi and use their light to attract prey.

Long and small panel at bottom. Munchkin’s face is still mostly hidden.

Arma: That voice…

Page 10

Almost a full page shot of Munchkin.

Arma oc: You’re the one who called to me!

Munchkin: Bingo!

Arma’s eyes in profile, she seems uncertain.

Arma thought: A little girl in a cave?

Arma thought: Am I hallucinating?

Page 11

Much like original page, just different dialogue.

Arma: Are you lost? Are you looking for someone?

Munchkin: I was, but not anymore!

Overlay on previous panel. Munchkin is overjoyed.

Munchkin: I looked high and low, but I finally found you!

Munchkin: Now we can play a new game!

Arma is confused and looking around. Munchkin spins joyously.

Arma: Game?! There’s no time for games!

Arma: Your parents are probably worried sick about you!

Munchkin stops spinning. (3 small panels)

Arma oc: What’s your name, munchkin?

Munchkin looks annoyed.

Munchkin giggles.

Munchkin: I dunno.

Munchkin: I was hoping you could tell me.

Page 12

Arma is conflicted.

Arma thought: What’s going on?

Arma: Is this a guessing game?

Munchkin looks annoyed as Arma offers her a hand.

Arma oc: No more playing around.

Munchkin: I’m not play—

Arma oc: We need to look for a way out of this cave.

Arma smiles.

Arma: Let me protect you.

Munchkin’s heart swells as she takes Arma’s large hand in her tiny ones.

Arma oc: For now, I guess I’ll keep calling you Munchkin.

Arma speaks, unaware of what she’s about to discover about herself.

Arma: You can call me…

Page 13

Arma stops walking.

Arma oc: …I’m….

Munchkin: What’s wrong?

Munchkin: Don’t you remember…

Large, Arma is grabbing her head, a pained expression on her face.

Munchkin oc: …Your name?

Arma is tormented.

Arma: Why don’t I…

Arma: What’s going on?!

Munchkin snickers.

Munchkin: Not a very fun “game,” is it?

Page 14

Arma drops to her knees.

Arma thought: I have nothing… No memories at all.

Arma thought: Not even clothes to help me figure out who I am.

Arma thought: I’m a blank slate!

Arma’s hand on ground, shaking. Munchkin looks on.

Arma: Who am I!?

Munchkin’s face, close-up. Snickers.

Munchkin: Hmph.

Page 15

Arma shocked, like in original.

Munchkin oc: I know who YOU are.

Munchkin winks and bounds away.

Munchkin: New game! I’ll give you a hint…

Arma reaches out as she bounds out of sight.

Munchkin oc: …but only if you can catch me!!

Arma: Wait!!

Arma’s hands outstretched, like in original. Munchkin is a blur.

Arma: Munchkin!!

Page 16

Arma runs through tunnel. Like original.

Arma: Don’t go!!

Show cave entrance…

Getting closer…

Feet are flying…

Page 17

Arma crashes.

She looks up.

Arma: I’m outside…??

Arma turns over, surprised. She is near the base of a tree.

Arma: Is that the moon? And…

Arma: !!

A hospital gown is hanging on a branch with the moon behind it.

Arma oc: Clothes!!

Page 18

Arma is a speck on a mesa. The region resembles the American west.

Arma: …

Arma: Hello?? Little girl?

Arma puts on clothes.

Arma: Maybe I really did hallucinate that kid.

Arma: That or I’m dreaming.

Something wriggles under the gown.

Arma: Hey! What the—

SFX: *squeak squeak*

A mouse (Vox) pops out of the sleeve.

Arma: A mouse!!

Arma examines him.

Arma: A three-eyed mouse? Or is that a gem...

Arma: Okay, I’m convinced. This has got to be a dream! (You’re often naked in bad dreams, right?)

She gingerly sets him down on the ground. Shadow appears behind Arma.

Arma: You’re lucky I’m not a big scary predator, little dream mouse.

Page 19

Arma looks up (aerial shot) with shadow over her and a bit of a monster peeking into the panel. The mouse is jumping up and down.

Monster: GRRRLL….

Arma: Hm?

Vox: Eek eek!!

Monster is snarling.

Arma oc: Bad dream!

Shot of monster’s spiked tail.

Arma oc: Very bad dream!!

Tail comes down and Arma and the mouse are knocked off the side of the mesa.

Arma: Waaah!!

Page 20

Arma painfully rolls down the side.

Arma: Ouch!

Arma: Oof!

Arma: Yoww!

Her head collides with another (Lamia’s head), face unseen.

SFX: KONK

Arma: Garhh!!

Arma sits up and rubs her head.

Arma: Geez, that hurt!!

Arma: Since when have dreams been this painful!?

Arma shouts up at the monster, who looks down, frustrated.

Arma oc: Hurry up and fossilize already!

Arma looks down and slowly realizes she hit someone.

Arma thought: Forgetting my name, this throbbing bump on my head, the dew on the grass…

Arma thought: It’s almost as if all this is…

Page 21

Arma fully realizes she hit another girl. The girl, Lamia, is also wearing a hospital gown.

Arma thought: …real.

Arma panics.

Arma thought: Oh god, I killed her!!

Arma thought: I’m a manslaughterer!!

Arma: No wait! Maybe she’s just out cold.

Arma: If she is, I can’t leave her here with that THING up there!

Arma is about to examine Lamia. Use original panels.

Arma: Are you…

Arma: breathing?

Lamia grimaces.

Page 22

Lamia wakes up, with Arma leaning over her.

Arma: Ah!

Lamia sits up and rubs her head.

Lamia: What… happened?

Arma: Uh…. that’s not important! (Ahem!)

Lamia looks deceptively frail.

Lamia: Who are you?

Arma has a sheepish grin.

Arma: I’m… uh…

Arma: What are you doing in a place like this?

Wide shot of the plains.

Lamia: I haven’t the foggiest idea!

Lamia: I woke up in a field, naked, and there was this hospital gown so I put it on, but when I called out nobody answered.

Lamia: So I walked and walked until a rock or something knocked me out!

Arma: A rock! Uh… they’re the worst, am I right? (Ha ha…)

Lamia begins to cry.

Lamia: I’m so afraid! I’ve been wandering around here for hours trying to figure out where I am.

Lamia: Or even who I…

Page 23

Lamia’s eyes glisten with tears.

Lamia: I can’t seem to remember a single thing about myself.

Arma realizes they are in the same predicament.

Arma: You too, huh?

Arma puts her hand on Lamia’s shoulder. She blushes a little.

Arma: I don’t know what’s going on, either, but…

Lamia is in full blush mode.

Arma: Until we find a town or someplace…

Arma: I’ll stay with you.

Lamia’s heart thumps as she tries to remain composed.

Lamia: Thanks… Red. (Can I call you that?)

Page 24

The two walk, a long panel showing how vast the land is. Like the sort of scenery you would expect to see in Utah or Arizona.

Arma: So… none of this looks familiar to you?

Lamia: No.

Lamia: I realize I probably have amnesia, but I don’t feel like this is the world I should be familiar with, if that makes sense.

Lamia: Not that I think I’m an extra terrestrial, of course!

Arma: For all we know, maybe we were abducted by aliens! (haha)

Arma: I did see a pretty strange looking mouse, and a giant lizard, and…

Arma’s expression changes.

Arma scales a house-sized nearby rock as Lamia looks on.

Lamia: What is it? What are you—

Arma: This is real, isn’t it? If so…

Page 25

Arma stands on top of the rock, camera angled downward so Lamia is also in the shot.

Arma: That little girl is all by herself.

Lamia: You saw a little girl? Out here?

Arma looks behind her.

There’s a small town tucked under a steep rock formation in the distance.

Arma: I see a town!

She jumps down to Lamia.

Lamia: Oh good! How far away is it?

Arma: I’ve got to go back.

Arma starts walking the other way.

Arma: Not far. In that ravine.

Lamia: Aren’t you going with me??

Page 26

Arma is surprised to hear Lamia’s hesitance.

Arma: Or you could come with me. It would be safer.

Lamia: “Safer” would be reaching that town as soon as—AH!!

Lamia trips and Arma sweeps her up in her arms. Lamia turns up the charm.

Lamia: Nice catch.

Lamia: You’re kind of like my own personal body guard.

Lamia: So strong…

Arma seems embarrassed, quickly helping Lamia stand on her own two feet and backs away. Wind is starting to blow.

Arma: Uh— I… maybe?

Arma: I know you want to get to the town quickly, and so do I, but I just can’t abandon a kid out here.

Lamia examines Arma.

Lamia thought: What an unusually strong desire to protect others…

Lamia thought: It almost overrides his own self-preservation instincts.

Page 27

Shot from behind Arma. Arma’s gown blows up, exposing her bare front.

SFX: *Shooooo….*

Lamia’s eyes are large.

Lamia: Ah!

Lamia’s face distorts.

Lamia: Ehh…

Wide shot. Two are basically silhouettes.

Lamia: You’re a girl?!

Page 28

Arma looks down at herself.

Arma looks just as shocked but remains serious (played for laughs)

Arma: I’m a girl!!

Lamia oc: You didn’t know??

Lamia’s good girl act melts away.

Lamia: Oh greeeeaaatttt… I thought I lucked out when the bonehead who fell off a butte ended up being this muscular hunk who felt indebted to help me for crash-landing onto my freaking skull…

Arma OC: AGH! You knew it wasn’t a rock!?

Lamia: Except surprise! You’re not a guy! You have ladybits, and I’ve got a pounding headache!

Arma: None of that changes anything, though!

Arma: You and me, we’re in the same mess. No memories, lost in the wilderness, sort of naked.

Lamia comically points to her head.

Arma: Maybe we can figure something out if we put our heads together.

Lamia: Oh, I thought we already tried that!!

Page 29

Lamia walks away. Arma follows.

Arma: I thought this was all a dream, but it’s not.

Lamia: Leave me alone!

Arma: And that means there’s this little girl running around all alone.

Lamia: Don’t tell me you’re a pedophile, too!

Arma stops Lamia.

Arma: She needs our help. But if that’s not enough for you…

Lamia perks up.

Arma oc: I think she might know who we are.

A scream stops the girls in their tracks.

Ora oc: AIYEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

Page 30

Arma’s heart races.

Arma thought: That sounds like a kid!

Arma thought: Munchkin!!

Arma peers over the edge of a ridge and sees below a snake/axolotl hybrid creature is coiled around a tree. Think sandworm.

Closer shot of the giant snake. Its fangs are dripping, with limbs of a child poking out of the branches.

Ora: Please, please… don’t eat me!!

Lamia looks down at the scene below.

Lamia: That’s a monster… a literal monster!!

Lamia: We’ve got to get out of here!!

Without hesitation, Arma soars over Lamia’s head.

Page 31

Lamia stretches out her hand to grab Arma but fails to reach her in time.

Lamia: Wait!!

Arma lands on the ground less than gracefully.

Arma: Oof!!

The snake repositions itself so that it is now facing Arma. Arma is a bit bloodied from her fall.

Arma: !!

Page 32

Lamia has already started running away from the site.

Lamia: She’s crazy… she has a death wish or something!

Lamia stops to look back, the small town in the distance but a little closer than before.

Lamia: All she had to do was come with me! We were so close to safety…

Lamia: That little girl’s a goner, why go down with her?

Lamia’s heart skips a beat as the monster snake snarls.

Monster oc: HISSHAAAA!!!!

Lamia: *gulps*

She turns her back again and runs toward the town, her body half disappearing behind a hill.

Lamia: She made her choice.

Page 33

Close up of monster snarling, baring its fangs.

Arma looks dumbfounded as she reaches for a fallen branch.

Arma: Hang on…

Arma looks past the snake and finally gets a good look at the girl in the tree.

Close-up of Ora, who is terrified and also wearing a gown like Lamia and Arma.

Arma oc: Who is this!?

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2…