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I may need to call a halt (Patreon)

Published:
2025-08-01 17:01:15
Imported:
2026-08

Content

I don't even know how long it's been since my last break; I know it feels like I've accomplished almost nothing since then, in terms of writing. It feels that way strongly enough that I am incredibly disinclined to do it. I feel like I'm taking advantage of my readers at this point, and that is a lousy, miserable feeling. I do what I do because I want to put some fun and engagement out into the world for y'all, not because I want to be paid to sit around.

Of course, rationally, I know that's not how this works. Rationally, I know that I keep getting stuck in this loop because I never give myself enough time to fully rest and recover, because I can't. Too much time spent not working on my stories starts driving me crazy - it's like a full-body itch, comprised of both guilt for not having chapters for my people and frustration for not exercising my creativity. I'm kinda cursed to never be able to recover fully from the burnout that's dogged me since the first time I had to take a multi-month hiatus from TGAB.

Rationally, I know that taking a break is still the correct thing to do, that it will rejuvenate me enough to get more chapters out, that in the long term it results in more content than if I keep trying to push through burnout and can only squeeze out a chapter every two weeks for months on end. I know this from experience, from all the times I've been here before.

Rationally, I also know that after spending all of July moving house, I'm exhausted both physically and mentally for reasons beyond the writing, and that definitely has an effect.

So...yeah, I definitely need to call a halt. I just don't know if I can, this time. I don't feel like I've done enough since the last break. I feel like I'm cheating you. No amount of rationally knowing I should take some time off overcomes that feeling, and I'm concerned it would just make the time off time wasted. The whole reason time off works to get me writing again is that it gives me time without the pressure to produce content. This time, I don't think I can shut off that pressure...

Anyway, this is coming to a head because...well, I'm sure you've all noticed the Hoard chapters slowing to a trickle. Those of you who follow my journal on Discord will know I set myself a task/challenge for today to get back into writing, and now at about 10AM it's already failed. I abandoned that idea, went back to my in-progress Hoard chapter and managed to squeeze out a couple of sentences before I hit a solid wall. No matter which direction I turn, creatively, I'm tapped out. I can't get anything made; I can't focus, I can't turn the ideas I've got into words, or conjure new ideas.

Just...classic burnout, is all.

Man, I do not want to call a break. I don't think I have a choice, though.

I'm formally giving myself today off. I don't want to even do that much; I probably need much more. Okay, I'll extend it to the weekend and reassess Monday.

Probably need more rest than that, but god damn it, I feel like I'm nothing without my stories. Gotta do something, if I can just figure out how...

Comments

Pyro Hawk

Take care of yourself, life happens and it derails all plans. It's better to get something over time, even if delayed, than not at all so I for one have no issue with you taking a break or even the slow rate or writing you've been doing recently. That's just how life has decided for you right now.

Gemyma

Moving is damn hard work and that's just the labour and organisation side. The upheaval and mental load of adjusting to everything new absolutely takes its toll too. I know hitting limits like this that keep you from meeting your own expectations is incredibly frustrating but it's not unreasonable to be struggling. I sincerely hope you do manage to rest and spring back with a short break, but even if you need longer, that is more than fine.

Stephen

Moving is the worst

AlbusScitus

Dude, you just moved. Take some time to appreciate your new surroundings. Seriously just sit for a little and point out to yourself the bits and pieces of your new place that you like. You don't have to jump straight into another project without enjoying the fruits of your labor.

Michael Castricano

It's too easy to forget that mental health is in fact part of health. Please, take some time off.

Pokemod97

You’ve mentioned in the past avoiding seeking treatment because of rfk jr. and I’m once again encouraging you to reconsider. His ability to wreck our health care system is far greater than his plan for health concentration camps.

Conrad Wong

Moving is traumatic! But also don't succumb to the terminal-stage capitalism that you are nothing but your work. You have a right, even a duty, to appreciate and enjoy things for yourself and your own benefit, and replenish your spirit. You need balance in your life!

Roeland van Veen

Bad Webb, bad! Bugger off and don't come back untill you are at least moderately well-rested! Shoo!

Shane Andrews

Lots of other people have commented with compassion and understanding, but I know sometimes that can just make you feel worse- so here's the enlightened self interest version: Us patrons are supporting an artist, not purchasing chapters. We know that you're going to go through hard times, and that's when you need support the most. We want you to make use of that support to take the breaks you need, because if you don't, you will be in no condition to write more! If you try and push through now, we'll get chapters sooner yes, but chances of you continuing to write long term go down. If you take breaks, we're much more likely to see more wonderful works of art get completed. So yes I am in fact paying you to take breaks and I expect you to do it! It is your DUTY to go chill out and RELAX.

Kim

Long time reader, first time commenter, but I was literally thinking this morning about the impact your work has had on my life. (As a case in point, I thought this as I wrote “Life’s a game. When you stop playing, you start losing” in my planner to remind myself to at this was the only way I’m going to get through a very stressful August.) Your stories have gotten me through some of the hardest periods of my life and the messages in them have helped me show up to impact the lives of others. (I worked for years in a high stress, direct service field and your work was a lot of my coping mechanism.) If you didn’t write a single other word, I would continue to be a Patreon supporter because of the wisdom, comfort, and joy your work has given me so far. Take all the rest you need, not so you can produce more, but because every human deserves rest and because you and your writing have already changed the world for the better in more ways than you’ll ever know

Joel Tone

Please take the rest you need. Any chance you could go somewhere where writing isn't an option for a bit to let your creativity refresh? Go camping or something? All the best!

AllenR

Webb, A critical and significant part of your job is to protect and cultivate a well-honed skill set. To do less damages that skill set. As a patron, I prescribe a distraction to occupy yourself. Something that physically takes you away from your creative space if at all possible. The further the better; sitting on the couch and binge-watching a show won't create the space you need - get out. During that time, turn that guilt and need to create against itself, refining and solidifying ideas and plans without commiting them to paper. Once the malaise has worked itself out via distraction, you may find yourself bursting to write. I think you are a sprinter, not a marathon writer. Reframe your breaks into preparation for the next sprint.