Sub-lets in Hell, chapter 7. (Patreon)

So, anyone here with experience teaching? Just curious. This would have been a novel approach back in my day, but I think it's normal now. Either way and subject aside. Please enjoy.

A good night. I'd finally had a good night, without a single issue. All it had taken was shifting myself into Hell itself, again. Not even the hint of a nightmare, but somehow I could help but feel I was doing it wrong somehow. I really shouldn't feel better in Hell itself instead of planet Earth.

In the time honored tradition of humans everywhere, I'd deal with it later.

The coffee was even better this morning, somehow. I wouldn't be taking any with me this time. Today, it was time to get back into physical training. My house was good enough for the normal stuff, and it was more comfortable to do it all in sweats.

I could also cheat by sleeping in the sweats, so long as they were thin ones, and just get up and go. Work smarter, not harder, and all that. I'd have to take my shower after and then just get on with my day after my jog, but I wouldn't sweat too much doing that this early.

Well, hopefully not. Today would prove that, one way or the other.

Coffee drained and bagel consumed, I went ahead and did the basic routine. And if I really didn't want to? No one needed to know.

I really shouldn't have saved the push-ups for last. Or ever stopped doing push ups, oof. Maybe I should lift a little.

The shower was quick enough; I had to cheat a bit to dry my hair, but it was either that or risk being late. Army fatigues were almost as comfortable to run in as sweats, so I could deal.

The jog was the easy part; I hit the sidewalk at a good pace and never looked back. Eventually, in the fullness of time, Clay joined me, just sidling up without a word. His breathing was easy and his pace relaxed.

"You're a bit late."

"You're a bit early," he countered without missing a beat.

Hm, he might be right. No, wait a minute, of course he wasn't.

He grinned at me. "Had you going for a moment there."

Right, this meant war: "Don't make me do something you'll regret."

"Wouldn't dream of it," came the breezy reply.

Really, this was nice. It was nice to share moments like this, without all the stress and mind-numbing terror. It wasn't quite like a normal life, but it was close. Close enough that it didn't matter if you squinted.

This was a moment that I wouldn't mind continuing forever. It had that feel, that weird feel of something you'd remember for the rest of your life. However long that was.

Soon enough though, Clay stepped up and set the pace himself, turning toward the parade ground. It was close to muster, when the kids would be up. Time for that highlight of the day, the unnerving of the kids. I could do it, even if Clay couldn't fully participate.

"Grex, veni huc!"

The words were said as soon as we stopped, at the spot overlooking the field we'd taken yesterday. As soon as I said them, a large mug of what smelled like coffee was presented to me.

"Good morning, my Mistress."

"Grex, you didn't...."

My demon sighed. "No, there are no additives you would not like or that would hurt you in the coffee I've just handed you. There are no poisons or unwelcome additives in the coffee I am about to hand over to your counterpart, either."

Clay got a large mug too. Interesting. Some kind of mind-bending insult to the laws of physics later, and a third mug appeared in Grex's hand from somewhere.

Well, he couldn't lie to me. Clay and I shared a look and a shrug. Then we all three drank.

I could see the shudders from the field in front of us, a ripple through the recruits.

Totally worth it; even Grex was grinning.

Wait, even Grex was grinning. Was this a simple troll, or something more demonic? I looked to Clay, and his grin was more relaxed. Well, it wasn't almost completely splitting his face. He wasn't showing teeth either - so it was probably fine?

I was going to go with it was fine. While not forgetting this. Going forward, I'd keep a better handle on this side of me; I didn't want to become something I wasn't. Something I didn't want to be.

We sipped again in perfect synchronicity. The coffee was... good. Much better than the normal stuff I got, from the local shop. "Where did you get this stuff?"

I probably should have led with that, to be honest.

"A place in Denmark, originally."

Wait, what? "When did you have time to go to Denmark?"

"I did not," my demon answered. "However, I am far from the only demon active on the planet, and some owe me favors, great and small. Even from Hell, I can certainly source any such gifts I ask for and receive. If nothing else, I may taste the substance myself to ensure there are no poisons within it."

"Did you do so?" Ask. Always ask.

"Of course, and as I told you before, there are no poisons or substances unpleasant to you nor your fellow summoner within the coffee."

Then my demon sighed again, quite melodramatically. "I should think by now I would have obtained some level of trust. This is most...."

"Really?" Clay broke in. and Grex smiled.

"No, not really."

We all sipped, and another ripple hit the crowd before us. The drill sergeants were doing a really good job putting them through their paces.

"So did you do the full set this morning?"

"Of course," Clay answered immediately. "Got to maintain the guns!"

Then he flexed at me. I would not be flexing back. "Right, sure, the gun show. I'm back to it now as well."

"Good deal. Now none can accuse you of being unfit for duty."

"Not physically, at least." I could easily get drummed out of the military on mental grounds. At least, if I wasn't contracted to a demon.

"Details, details," Clay replied and waved me off. "You're fine. And you should wear something a bit more revealing. Show off all that hard work. Tear off your sleeves, or something."

"In this cold? No thank you." The man was a special type of freak of nature. Unlike my particular type of freak of nature.

"Got to get you in a bikini," Clay fired back.

"Summer is right around the corner." Right after spring, and by then Clay would most likely be deployed somewhere else, and this could all be safely buried in a very deep and very dark hole.

"So it is, so it is...."

I mean, did he seriously think I could even wear enough sunscreen?

Maybe there was a spell for it. Maybe I shouldn't think that solutions to my problems could come from spells. When life gives you a hammer, and all that.

"Well, show's over."

We sipped. He was right, the recruits were done and breaking up to go shower and eat.

"Time for us to go then. Grex, go home."

Clay stared at his mug as Grex winked out in a burst of flame. "Great. Free mug, I guess."

Was he really going to give me crap over carrying an empty mug?

My own still had coffee inside. Not nearly enough coffee, but some.

The classroom was both where and how I'd left it, which was a good thing. A brief scan of the problems I'd made the other day revealed that yes, they had no problems or errors.

That meant I had an hour yet with nothing to do. I could read, but....

Clay was in his classroom, doing pull ups from a bar hung from the ceiling that I was quite certain hadn't been there when I'd first laid eyes on the place.

"Want to go get some more coffee? The teacher's lounge should have some."

Clay dropped. "Sure. I even have this handy dandy new mug here for it."

Massive grin aside, he was right, I should probably bring my handy dandy new mug as well. Paper cups existed, but they always made the brew taste worse somehow.

I hustled back, drained it of the last dregs of demon bean, and went to go get more.

"I thought you'd want us to visit the coffee shop," Clay offered.

"I still don't think we have enough time." Maybe if we cut out our morning routine of terrorizing the non-coms and their charges... but where was the fun in that? I needed to be better, but not that much better.

It was a lot like how things happened with me. Hazing was an unending cycle, like revenge. Less serious than revenge, but still, a cycle. In this case, a cycle that kept people sharp and untrusting. Just what you needed in this army.

The teacher's lounge was open, but sparsely populated. Only three people here, which suited me just fine. Suited Clay just fine too, from the looks of things. There were some days when even he wasn't a people person.

We both went straight to the coffee, ignoring the others to their conversations. I only knew major Reynolds anyway.

Oh hell, that meant major Reynolds would likely try and introduce them to me, since he had that whole "everyone should know everyone else and get along" vibe. He was a one man welcome committee.

Karen came in, her yawn preceding her by a full second, and saved us from the evils of human interaction. Never mind that she was human herself, as were we... yeah, let's just drop that one.

Karen went straight for the coffee machine same as us, her eyes closed and navigating by smell and memory alone. I fought down the temptation to rush a chair into her way, and settled for the enjoyment of her stopping dead in her tracks as she finally got close enough to sense us.

She cracked an eye, and her smile slid off for a moment.

Then she recovered: "Oh, it's just you two. Thought it was serious, for a second."

I had to ask. "What do you mean?"

Karen sidled up, forcing me out of the space and reaching for the carafe. "Everyone knows not to get in front of the machine at this time unless it's an emergency. But you two are still new enough that I'll forget this clear transgression."

As if. "Pretty sure if we duel over the pot, I'll win."

The sleepy woman waved me off. "Please, I wouldn't do anything so barbaric... I'd just make sure you never got leave again and dock your pay for... reasons. Whatever reasons I could make up, I'm not picky."

"Dirty." I sipped.

"If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying," Karen countered, sipping her own.

Well said, honestly. "So where you been?"

"Meeting hell, of course. Do me a favor and transfer into personnel when you get the chance, so I can just foist all this crap off on you."

"No, thank you." I would not be transferring into the military equivalent of human resources. It would require me to finish out my terms and then stay in, and if I made it that long, I was cashing out like Clay was. There wasn't even a question of it; I didn't understand the lifer mentality.

"Drat," my superior pouted. She really was all about proving age was just a number.

"Just hire some secretaries or something."

"Can't," Karen countered. "Clearance issues. Summoners have more clearance, and a little bit of resistance regarding supernatural horrors from beyond. Normal people are so... fragile."

She meant that, but at least part of it was her own issues talking.

"It really does take a special type, I guess."

I refilled my cup. Clay hadn't really touched his. I guess the coffee was awful, now that I focused on it. It tasted of burning and regret.

"This is trash."

"It truly is," Karen agreed.

Clay just nodded.

That's it. I was getting a machine and placing it in my classroom. Add a drinks fridge for water. Why shouldn't I?

Karen might have an objection or two, but as long as I share, she will probably stay quiet.

I was weak now; unwilling to suffer deprivations. Whatever, I'd earned it. We all had.

We'd wasted some time, and gotten the goods. Time to get out. "Well, enjoy your meetings. I better get back to the classroom before you declare me AWOL."

"I'd do it, too." Karen agreed, still sipping on the liquid garbage.

I beat my retreat, and Clay followed.

The halls were beginning to fill up, though that really meant nothing to us. Everyone just got out of our way.

My classroom was still empty. I saw Clay set his mug down and go back to his bar as if he'd never left before I stuck my nose in my book.

Let's see, I could also express lightning this way, but would it be quicker to sketch than the way I used now? I doubted it, but I'd have to test. It was hard to beat the squiggly forked lightning symbol that was universal among all cultures. Or was it? Almost all, certainly, but was there some small tribe in the amazon or something that depicted lightning as a circle or something? Might be fun to check.

I couldn't check indoors of course, as the property damage would be frowned upon, but out in the desert, there was plenty of sand I could turn to glass.

My students began trickling in. A few of them even looked confident. Good for them.

Let's see, I could either conjure or teleport water; the book wasn't clear on which it was.

Conjuring was better, of course, and we all knew the spell, but no one was actually sure if it just created water or simply pulled it from the air or a nearby lake or something. I could see some ways in which we could test it... but not any way we'd know for sure.

Unless we asked, somehow. Grex might know, and idle curiosity was something I could indulge now.

Right, everyone was here, and the bell went off. No time to wonder why we even had a bell, for the third or fourth time this week; it was time to go ahead and do my job.

"Alright, everyone line up. I don't care about order, but I do care about how orderly you all are. Line up, line up, single file. It doesn't matter if you've got a circle or words; line up."

They lined up. It didn't take them that long either; a little impressive in a way.

The first candidate had a circle, and I could tell at a glance it wasn't traced, which was a good thing. I took the sheet of paper and turned to the chalkboard.

It wouldn't work, of course, I knew that already, but the presentation was important. I drew the circle and tapped it to throw a trickle of power in, which it did not accept.

"Now, can anyone spot why it didn't work? Anyone, just belt out what you see."

"The lower part of the sigil is wrong. The line there should be a slightly upturned near the bottom."

I added the line. With the original still on the board, it was easy to see the difference, and that was the point. I tapped it again to prove the point, and the glyph lit up briefly. "Correct. You, practice this until you can get it right without looking. Passing grade."

Grades didn't really mean much here, but it would mean something for them all later on. A failing mark in this class would affect where the recruit would be placed and potential advancements later on.

"You can go sit down. Continue the drawing. Give me say, fifty copies, and no tracing."

That should be enough. "Next."

The next guy was fairly confident; it rolled off him in waves. He strode right up to me past the now clearly sad first candidate, and belted out a set of syllables that were almost magical... in how awful and screechy they sounded. Holy crap, his pronunciation was... a thing.

I, being me, belted the words back into his face with his own inflection. Of course nothing happened. Then I said the actual words needed to perform the spell. The light bloomed, of course. "Keep practicing. We will revisit what you just said, and how to correctly pronounce the spell, before the end of class."

If I needed to, I'd make a tape of myself reciting the spell. I probably should have led with that.

The next one was a circle, and this one was clearly traced. That was an automatic fail, but I decided to go through with the farce anyway. Hmm, would I even get through them all today? Maybe I should speed things up somehow....