Dear Mario... (Patreon)

Princess Peach took a bite from one of the red mushrooms. She suddently grew a bicep as huge as her castle, and before anyone could stop her, she ate the whole thing. After demolishing all the koopas and goombas in ways I know you would never do, she ripped the castle straight from the ground and tossed it into space with ease. I hope this letter reaches you or your friend Rosalina before the oxygen runs out. Please, help!

Signed, Bowser.