I don't have social anxiety, I'm just scared. (Patreon)

As many of you may know, I'm afraid to go outside. I still do it because I have to and I honestly would like to travel and see the world. Some may say that I have social anxiety, but I don't think that's right for me. I'm not pathological.

My issue with being labeled as a person with social anxiety is that it assumes I'm inherently / biologically defective, or that I've created my own fear around people, when it's most likely a trauma response to being socially shamed and punished so many times. Whether I was right or wrong, growing up I was constantly getting screamed at, rejected, told off, ignored, humiliated, or even hit in the face (by my mother) for expressing how I felt, saying what I believed to be the truth, making mistakes like: misreading a situation or not realizing I was being inconsiderate; or simply being in the wrong place, around the wrong people, at the wrong time. Everyone experiences this on some level, especially if you've never been taught the rules of society and was left to just sink or swim like I was. If you grow up in an impatient and callous society, you're going to piss off a lot of short tempered, power hungry, opportunistic tyrants who want to be able to punish others over any perceived moral crimes. It's petty cruelty at the end of the day.My parents are from a 3rd world country and they lived in poor, rural areas where there was no concept of 'social etiquette' (at least, as we know it in the 1st world). Combine that with being traumatized by my parents, being socially isolated and stunted, being confused when I was punished for good deeds (like lending my pittance to an adult that my parents allowed into our house and then getting screamed at for it), NOT being taught English by either parent, being forced to go to a school that mainly spoke a 3rd language I didn't understand, and then being forced to attend English speaking schools--I became a very "mal-adjusted" child whose mental development was impaired, and then I grew up to be a "weird" and "meek" teenager, before ending up a very scared adult.Unless you have something that makes you a socially UNacceptable target (like being diagnosed with something) kids and adults will take the opportunity to bully someone if it means they can get away with it. People hate being reminded of how helpless they once were and so many of them will take every opportunity not to feel that way again. I DON'T think it's ok to mistreat people regardless of whether they've been diagnosed with something or not--human life deserves dignity. It's NEVER ok to scream at someone, publicly lambaste, or humiliate a human being over not knowing every single little social rule. I'm talking about breaching social etiquette like being annoying or a bit insensitive, NOT committing actual crimes. It's like, as soon as someone gets a chance to be sadistic towards a person that no one will defend or they are unlikely to defend themselves, people will attack them in order to feel powerful and morally superior. You never know when someone is going to freak out at you because people (in my experience) will randomly decide when you don't deserve human decency and society may encourage dehumanization.This post was inspired by a comment on a Daniel Mackler video, but I don't remember which one. The comment by @carolineprenoveau7655 reads: "Never thought about it before. I used to be socially awkward, withdrawn, didn't want to be touched, had a hard time understanding what people were asking me and understanding their emotions, didn't know what to do with friends, avoided eye contact, and preferred to be alone. I'm not autistic at all (not even close!). I think I was scared."If I feel safe around someone, I can really open up. But if I feel like someone is going to lash out at me over a minor social faux pas, or use the information I share privately to stab me in the back and make themselves feel better, I get what people call "social anxiety." Socially anxious about being attacked and treated like shit.