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done for now with Ellie's apartment ^^ I added more plants & wallpaper. i'm not going to worry about rendering it since It's going to be a lot of work tweaking the textures and learning how to use the software but I think it looks pretty good! I just wanna crawl into Ellie's bed and take a long nap zzzz  Now i'm ready to continue their date ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and Happy Mothers day💐 to all the wifeys & pet/plant moms here lol 😚 I'm excited to pick up some fresh cut flowers for the mothers in my life hehe

aaannd 🌱 Plant update!!!🌱

i've added a few new friends. Friendship plant, pilea baby tears, angel cupid pepperomia, variegated turtle vine, and of course some begonias. I'm trying to slow down but they're affordable and super cute T-T Im a sucker for these dainty little beauties.

as for my mental/physical health.. I'm doing a lot better. I worked really hard to prove myself at my job so I could negotiate for a better schedule. Now I don't have to waste time driving in anxiety riddling traffic for 2 hours a day anymore. That means I'll have some more time to work on the comic and Patreon!! yay 🥳

Even though my goal of being a full time artist is still far away, I'm happy to at least be moving forward. I really thought I'd have to suffer for another 3-6 months of getting up at 3AM and getting home at 3PM. that was really taking a toll on me.

it was tough but I made sure to get more sleep, consistently eat in the morning and make time to help others. I still hope to be able to see a psychologist when I have more money, but for now these small things are really helping to keep me together & sailing along. 

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Ariba

Ellie's apartment = *chefs kiss* It looks so cozy and makes me wanna live there🤤 I'm genuinely so happy to see you're enjoying your hobbies and also you stuck out and now are in a position to be able to do what you want. Being a full time artist is not easy but given how amazing you are it's not far away💕 Really happy to see you're taking care of yourself and not pushing yourself in a way that would burn you out😢 Slowly but surely you'll be able to achieve all your goals! P.S sorry for the essay haha but I'm genuinely so happy with your progess and your art is getting better and better❤🔥

Natasa

Good work!! Wish you to be a full time artist!!🥰 and know what..., i am having fun with my borderline personality disorder 😃😃😃

ajoji_comic

that's something I've always admired about Ghibli is their knack for creating homes that seem so warm and inviting. I wanted it to be like a ray of sunshine on your cheek >w< and a safe haven not just for Ellie but also Grave. Thank you for your support and taking the time to write me. It takes a lot of mental energy for me to write out replies to my favorite artists after a long day at work so I appreciate you doing the same!! 😚💗

ajoji_comic

thank you Natasa!! 😊💕 I recently saw a video of a hotel clerk having a break down because of his BPD and mistreatment from customers...It was heart breaking. Please take good care of yourself!! I know it can be really tough trying to live a normal life when our mind isn't so healthy but with hard work and the right support..it's possible for us to thrive!!!

Natasa

Thank you. No worries. I am on meds. Sometimes they dont cover me but ok. What i what to say is that i understand you so keep strong and take care. 🥰😃

Ariba

I agree! Ghibli makes everything look so warm and comforting. I'd love to live in a Ghibli esque home one day haha. But I could totally see this being a safe haven for Grave as well! It'll be nice to see him share this space with Ellie. I love what you do and want to keep encouraging you!🙌🏼🙌🏼

Tiki Dreams

I personally know how you feel. Waking up to a daunting job. Having to come home trying to muster up some energy mentally and physically to do something that you love doing. Specially when you just cant seem to find the time. I am very sorry that it been a mental strange for you. Let me tell you this from an artist point of view. You have amazing talent we all can see that. What makes you different from the rest you stick with your talent, show passion and love for what you do. An that is what a lot of artist fail at. Do to real life we forget what makes this type of thing great. Don't ever feel down or never feel like you are not. Believe or not. You do show us artist. Specially with disability their are hope. And we don't mind waiting. Your passion just shows and that what mad. Me a fan. Trust me I only got patreon just watch the passion and drive you and also lillydust have and I am so happy I got a chance to see the outcome of your work :) okay I stop rambling now lol. Got caught up in my feeling haha.

JoAn

I am so happy to hear you are doing better. I don't know where you live, but if it is in the states, in a somewhat developed area, and you have no medical benefits through your work, you can apply for medical assistance through your state. There are many counseling/therapy offices that have psychologist/psychiatrist on staff to help and accept state medical benefits. If you don't know or are unsure of how to begin or where to begin try reaching out to your local fire department, health department, or police department. If going to any of those is not an Option for you, your local emergency room should be able to provide you with helpful information. Your PCP if you have one can also direct you on who to go too. ❤ As a minority woman I am a huge on women advocating for ourselves and standing up for our medical rights. As women in general our medical concerns, and cries for help are often ignored. Your work and talent are amazing and I appreciate you being brave enough to share it with the world.

Nin Nin

These are amazing! It's insane that you drew these by hand 😍😍😍

ajoji_comic

I feel like most people are stuck in this situation but a lot give up on their dreams because it's so dang hard to pursue it, especially in a field like art where it's high risk and such a small percentage of artists actually make it a full time thing on their own. Sometimes I want to take a long break because the stress is so heavy.. but at the same time I can't live without drawing and making things T-T it's the curse of being a creative in a world that crushes creativity. I always appreciate people taking the time the write me, especially since it's so difficult for me to muster the energy to do the same!! >.<;; thank you for the love & support!!! 🥰💕

ajoji_comic

Aww thanks so much Joan!!😚 It's so sweet of you and I hope anyone else that reads this can benefit from this information too. I do have the number to my local mental health dept but after a few calls the anxiety was just a bit too much for me to handle..so I put it off for a bit until my I got my job situation sorted out. I learned that a lot of therapists/psychologists don't accept insurance so I'm not sure if it will help me find the specific type of help I need, but that is a great idea and it's waaay better than nothing!! I've definitely considered it, but doing the research and sorting through my options has been really daunting because I'm so busy with my job, running Patreon and doing the comic >.< now that I have a slighter more flexible schedule..I'm sure I can make more progress on that front!

ajoji_comic

I didn't draw it ^^;; I used assets that I bought and free ones to put together a 3d model of Ellie's apartment...and then, I painted over it and added the shadows, lighting and some tweaks to the color. There's actually software you can use to render the environment and do all the lighting/shadow effects for you, but the good ones are like 1,000k USD and the more affordable ones have a bit of a learning curb especially for not so technically savvy people like me 😂

Nin Nin

Ok but still it looks amazing and YOU DESERVE PRAISE DAMNIT

Urtackynih8u

I want to live here!!!! Please take my money!