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Recently, I reached a huge milestone at work so I bought myself flowers from a local farm/family owned business and purchased my favorite sweet drink.  the last several months have wreaked havoc on my mind, body and spirit, but the benefit is if I make it through, I will always be that much stronger.

Thinking back to when I first started 5/6 months ago when I was getting harassed by some ppl from another fandom...sure that sucked, but it didn't really hurt me as much because I've been through worse. I just didn't like how they were starting crap with readers and I wish I had the confidence to email webtoons. I honestly didn't think anything would be done since that's often the case for me, but I wish I tried. If it ever happens again.. I will be sure to speak up.

i realize talking about my feelings can turn ppl off and i think seeing Ellie be vulnerable also is uncomfortable, but that's a huge part of how Ellie and Grave bond. They're both struggling to stay positive and make a change, but slowly and surely they do it together (tho alot of crazy stuff gets in the way) & to me, there's beauty in that! anyways, just wanted to share ^^

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Amber

Aw ❤️

Sara Schaefer

Love you so much! Here for you always! You can email me if you need someone to talk to ❤️

Michelle

Sending hugs! Try to remember that you still have a fan base that loves all you do. Still sorry about those other peeps but you can’t please everyone. Just know that you are making us so happy! Thank you for taking the risk and sharing your art with us!

Jaki

Yes to treating yourself!! I'm not the most active commenter, but I appreciate you sharing with us and I've got plenty of virtual hugs if you need them 😊💜

Lyubov

Flowers are beautiful😍 dear everything will be fine most importantly do what you like and brings pleasure 💐💋

ajoji_comic

thank u so much everyone!! ❤️ i have to take a break now (i'm going to bring some flowers to my loved ones--i love giving ppl flowers lol). I'll be back later with some NSFW!! and I hope to continue more with the conversation between Ellie and Grave. Grave begins to open up about some personal struggles as well u.u

dbrae

Beautiful flowers. I even spot some pretty white Siberian iris! There's always going to be negative people that just don't see there's going to be similar sound stories or characters out there. I can bring up a comic I know you might like that's similar to another webtoon from the 90's . Look for The Darkness. Same company put out Witchblade and Fathom.

Nicole Nosek

Oh, I sure can remember that time! 😡 how furious I was back then for I came here from exactly that fandom and couldn’t believe what some of the people were saying to you. On Webtoon I (and a lot of others - who were by the way from the same fandom and didn’t feel any hte towards you!)started arguing, more like throwing spiteful things at each other, but oh, well…., with a certain someone. I even told my boyfriend about that… 😅 If that happens again, I swear I‘m going to mobilize all I have in me and stand up for you again! 💪🏻😾 I don’t know if that is interesting to you but maybe it is, so: I once have been victim of my father’s violent behaviour, later on I used to be bullied in school because of me being poor and having old, worn out clothes and so on. But I have to say that I am a very resilient person. Now, I am definitely not one to mess with and I speak up for myself as well as for others. Unfairness is something I do not tolerate in the least which leads me to have a lot of discussions, quarrels and me being the so called thorn in someone’s side. 🤷🏼‍♀️ In my opinion, you’re doing the right thing in believing in the good side of things! 🎀 It makes me happy to see such posts because it shows that you are doing better each day and are happy too! 💝

Natalia Ramirez

Hello new patreon here! I just wanted to say that even though this is your professional platform it is totally okay to talk about your feelings to your supporters, besides it's not like your giving all of the details so you're maintaining your privacy. I did come here from said fandom and I think mistakes where made by several people. I'm sorry you had to go through tough times because of careless and tactless people arriving to conclussions. I do hope in the future you're able to stand up for yourself with the help of your fans and hopefully not take everything negative said to heart. I realize how tough it is...especially if you've been bullied before. Every human wants to be accepted, but we will all also be treated unfairly one way or another by others regardless of doing nothing wrong. I wish you healing, peace and happiness and I can't wait to see your work!💖

ajoji_comic

aww thanks Sara ^^ that's so sweet of you 💗

ajoji_comic

🤗 sorry i keep getting bummed out by it, but that feeling of being rejected still stings especially when you're exhausted and try your best to post anyway. thanks for always cheering me up ^^

ajoji_comic

aww haha hugs are always appreciated, even virtual ones lol 🤗

ajoji_comic

I love having them for myself and then drying them for decoration, but I also love giving them as gifts. It's always a pleasure when ppl get excited to receive them >w< Thanks Lyubov!! 💗

ajoji_comic

I was wondering about those--they smell so lovely ^^ For sure... I love that title too. Like instead of shying away from what makes us afraid...confront it bravely. I tried searching it but couldn't find anything. Where can I read it?

Theresa

If you are at or can get to a place where emotions don't feel overwhelming to you because of things that have happened in the past, emotions can be helpful eg grief in many forms can help us deal more comfortably with loss, allowing yourself to feel & express righteous anger can help to motivate you to take appropriate actions, etc. Emotions can guide you towards what you need. Honest! Emotions don't have to be your enemy. It can be worth the work to get to that place. Hope that's not too 'deep'! Love Theresa

ajoji_comic

lol stronk cat 😂 It was wonderful to get all that support!! that definitely helped to diffuse the negativity. I was the same way growing up. Meek and scared to cause trouble, but the more I got trampled on.. the easier it got to defend myself. I was just talking to my mum today about how I enjoy being an adult because now I can verbally spar with all the adults that pushed me around in the past and the adults in the future that I'll inevitably face. I just don't have the energy to entertain conflict so I just let it pass most of the time. I wish kids could just be kids and not worry about being preyed on by other children or adults, but that's just not the world we live in and I'm glad you came out stronger from it. I find that a lot of hurt ppl give into malice and just end up hurting others because of the pain inflicted upon them and it's really sad. Here's hoping for better days!!😾

dbrae

Look up Top Cow comics. Though some other company has continued publishing it I recently read but they've crossed over with DC and Marvel. It's mafia related and the main character is the nemisis to Sara Pezzini the Witchblade. I have a few copies from when I collected them in late 90s. It started 1996. Got it, company is now Aspen Comics started by Michael Turner

ajoji_comic

Hello! Welcome!! ^^ the thing about art that sets it apart from other professions is that it's often born from things like pain and restriction...things the artist wishes to express...whether vague or deeply personal. That's how i justify my sentimentality anyway 😂 I don't think the individuals who led that charge represent the fandom since some of my most avid supporters came from there! i just look back and wonder why that was even a thing 😅

ajoji_comic

I found more listings in Top Cow comics, so i'll have to put that on my wishlist. The resemblance and energy he exudes is so reminiscent of Grave, it's uncanny...especially for a western comic that came out while I was still a fetus. Never heard of it until you mentioned it and yet I see Grave when I look at the cover of Origins Vol 1. Like this is blowing my mind 😂 thank you for recommending this!!

ajoji_comic

you're so sweet. thanks Theresa!! ❤️ mastering emotions is going to be a challenge i'll contend with for a long time since my worth is tied to my progress as an artist, but that's so very true that it's helpful to look at it as a guide rather than an adversary. I'm doing my best to at least identify how i'm feeling at any given moment and understand why i'm feeling it and how best to navigate myself despite it being overwhelming at times ^^;; my goal is to just continue pumping out content and not worrying so much about ppl rejecting my work and letting that influence my confidence.

Theresa

Yes, having good enough Self Worth & handling emotions as well as you can requires a life long more realistically positive mindset but living with this mindset can be worth any work involved in achieving the shift in perspective. It sounds like you're well on your way! Being able to identify & give names to what you're feeling & why you might be feeling that way helps you know what you want & don't want which is very beneficial to your state of mind & makes it easier to enforce boundaries to keep yourself safe & well. I understand about trying not to let negative comments bring you down 😥 It's not an easy thing for most people to deal with & even more difficult for sensitive people. Distraction is one good strategy for dealing with this at the time. I have been through a lot & my childhood strategy to deal with all that was to become a huge people pleaser! except when it came to my needs & wants. Those were my last, if ever, priority 😔 To go from only just surviving to feeling so much better I had to turn that dynamic completely around so that I could feel like it's ok if people don't agree with me or even if many people hate me. It's apparent to me now that most of them don't hate me because of who I am & how I act but because of the way they choose to interept how I act. Sorry, this is long but the last thing I would say is a LOT of psychotherapy including getting back in touch with my 'Inner Child' has been very very much worth any emotional pain I had to go through. Anyway, All the best, love your Comic! Love Theresa

Kumarakura

I’m sure I know the fan base you’re referring too and I hope it makes you feel better to know that a ton of us stood up and tried to put those people with their ugly comments and opinions in their place. A lot of us tried to look for other outlets to occupy our time while waiting for the new season and we found you! Your art is amazing and beautiful and it has a sense of vulnerability to it that adds to the beauty. I hope you keep up the hard work and just know that you have tons of people who love and support you!!! 💕💕💕

Ele_Smiles

Glad you didn’t let people get you down!

ilustrAriane

Im sorry to hear you were being bullied around by mean fandom people...thats terrible. Im glad i didnt know you by that, i just knew your art by what it is, and theres unlimited space for tall dark and handsome 2d husbands in my heart 💗