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Glimpses into our man's past. This was a difficult page to put together. I had the idea of representing his PTSD through memory fragments, but this is my first time drawing broken glass. I wasn't sure if I could pull it off. I like how it turned out, with the classic higanbana / spider lily pulling everything together. I can almost hear each memory and see the movement in every piece. The billowing smoke, crackle of fire, sounds of nature, and the flutter of a butterfly. I know these pages won't get as much attention as the romantic or sexy pages, but I just love anime that has a wide range of elements and emotions. I've said it before, but I feel like an anime movie director, except I have full control over the script and the presentation. It's a lot of pressure, but it's also fun when you can depict what you envision.

More pages coming soon.

CC Attribution: Firearm | Buddha | Lotus | Ground 

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Comments

midnightboredom

Love these pages, beautifully drawn and the raw conversation is ✨✨

Screwubune

Loveeeee this page, I love ellie mind I love plants and flowers I have tattoos of so many including spider lily's. I always say death is not the end of life. Ive lost alot of people and have ptsd your story is so healing. Thank you 🖤

Starr Atlantis

Without a doubt. 86 is an anime that comes to mind when you have children in war.

Vilinda

Ooh! I like the effect of that last panel!

Jacquelyn

It came out so great 😍

Lindsay Scott

This is so good. Love how you portrayed the memories.

ajoji_comic

I imagine the glass cracking and a memory appearing in each fragment. The sounds of each memory overlapping and getting louder with every piece that forms.

ajoji_comic

Thank you, it took a while to get it look right, but it's super close to what I imagined ^^

Vilinda

I could hear the noise in those fragments!

ajoji_comic

Thank you, I struggled a bit to figure out how to represent each memory, but I think it turned out well. It'll make a lot more sense once we dig deeper into Grave's psyche.

Morgan Thomas

I think you did an amazing job on the memory fragments. They illustrated the shock of certain elements with the juxtaposition of lighter symbols nicely.

Lizzaye

I think the representation of the memories and the glass fragments are absolutely stunning.

Liz M

You nailed the broken glass! And I love these pages just as much as the sexy/romantic ones. Also the image of him standing over us … that’s still kinda sexy even if it wasn’t meant to be

ajoji_comic

Thank you ^w^ I didn't want to use too many crazy colors because I felt like red was perfect for certain fragments but playing around with the hues helped to separate it from the spider lily a bit.

ajoji_comic

Thank you Lizzaye 🥰 I'm looking forward to show you the next few pages when they're done. I'm having some fun with this divine theme we're on.

ajoji_comic

Thank you, but that's not Grave 😅 I'm glad you like these pages too. I'm trying to make these types of pages visually appealing to show they're just as important.

Liz M

🫣 awkward lol. Either way - I’m always looking forward to your content.

Ms. CherryBlossom (edited)

Comment edits

2026-10-13 20:00 @ajoji, I am so very impressed with this panel, the graphic is amazing 🤩 the broken glass is out of this world, you did an amazing job. I as well can feel the feeling, and as a person that sufferers PTSD can see it. I love the hot &amp; fire scenes but, this one became one of my favorites ones so far. You are absolutely amazing 😻, please continue doing this beautiful work of art for us all to enjoy 😉. Since I found your art work I felt in love with it. Greetings from Texas. 💕
2022-10-12 16:58 @ajoji, I am so very impressed with this panel, the graphic is amazing 🤩 the broken glass is out of this world, you did an amazing job. I as well can feel the feeling, and as a person that sufferers PTSD can see it. I love the hot & fire scenes but, this one became one of my favorites ones so far. You are absolutely amazing 😻, please continue doing this beautiful work of art for us all to enjoy 😉. Since I found your art work I felt in love with it. Greetings from Texas. 💕

@ajoji, I am so very impressed with this panel, the graphic is amazing 🤩 the broken glass is out of this world, you did an amazing job. I as well can feel the feeling, and as a person that sufferers PTSD can see it. I love the hot & fire scenes but, this one became one of my favorites ones so far. You are absolutely amazing 😻, please continue doing this beautiful work of art for us all to enjoy 😉. Since I found your art work I felt in love with it. Greetings from Texas. 💕

Keisha B

It's always interesting with a bit of "uhh.... How do I show... Hmm... Ho boi..." to try something to your audience in a way that's new to you. I like the broken glass. This and the images give some answers about the past without literally giving answers which is good. This is just me and being someone who enjoys reading Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, Joe Abercrombie, and such. I would've loved to see symbols or flashbacks that are a bit less obvious and more thought provoking. For example, instead of us seeing the gun in that scene we could just see a garden or plants with blood everywhere. That instills more shock and wonder as to what really went down. Kinda like the spoilers without context memes if you've seen them on Twitter. For hinting at point people of the story— eyes, scars or items they always wore. We tend to remember very specific and random ticks, habits, and details of a place related to a traumatic event. Those are great to highlight. Army pants guy, the fire, and the lotus are 👌🏾👌🏾and just fine. Just piping in Also lemme know if comments like these are fine. I never like stepping on someone's toes or being too critical 😖

Erica

Uh as always my jaw is on the floor. You are insanely talented. I love how you did the glass breaking. Absolutely stunning. 😊❤️❤️❤️

Jagura

I get the feeling forgiving himself is the hardest.

Elizabeth

Just breath taking

Ashaliyeva

Great input and observation! I also like the idea of a garden splattered in blood; it’s very mysterious, but definitely tells you that something awful happened.

Elizabeth

Question; does Grave not smoke anymore or does he try not to around Ellie? I kind of miss the smoke effect.

ajoji_comic

Howdy! 🤠 Thanks Vanessa 🥰 I tried to keep it realistic. When I relive bad memories, it's pretty straightforward. I remember it vividly even if it happened a long time ago.

ajoji_comic

I appreciate any input. I'm always trying to improve the series in any way that I can because I'm still learning how to be a professional author. Though in this case, I deliberately chose not to obscure Grave's memories because that's how I experience flashbacks and how I've seen war veterans depict their own trauma. Like in All Quiet on the Western front, there isn't any artsy flair to it. They saw horrible things and reenacted it in front of a camera. It's the same in Cowboy Bebop, which I take a lot of inspiration from. Spike's memories were straight forward, but you didn't have the full context until the story progressed and he confronted the demons from his past. It's also just my personal preference.

ajoji_comic

Forgiving ourselves for things that happened a long time ago can be really tough.

ajoji_comic

He does, but in other scenes. It'll be back, don't worry ❤️

Keisha B

I love this insight you shared and how you put it in words. Describing it as obscuring memories is way simpler 😂 And that's a good point on how other people and especially veterans experience/recall trauma. (Hello fellow Cowboy Bebop fan 👀👀 I knew I was in a good Patreon 😌)

Randy Angie

Wow. He went thru so much. I can't wait to learn more about him and watch the love between Ellie and Grave grow.

Lucy Flygirl

Wow, I wonder if Grave took that personal. Like I know he is fucked up about his past and the things he had to do for the mission but I hope he doesn't internalize it too deeply and see himself as a monster.

Anastasia o

That’s gorgeous author thank you so much.

Harlieharlot

Nailed it. It looks like glass and before I read your intro I already knew he was experiencing flashbacks

J

Love the broken glass effect to express his past in fragment!

Sailor Marj

Beautifully done. 😻😻😻