Glitch'd - Ch.4 - Abort, Retry, Fail? (Patreon)

By the time I got to the end of Desrosiers' and Sachs' last paper both my mind and my heart were racing.

A lot of their ideas were more like science fiction when they wrote it twenty-eight years ago, but we'd had nearly three decades of progress since they first created the original mesh. Now the sorts of concepts and solutions they'd envisions were well within reach.

The single biggest caveat was that digitization was dependent on their original vision of a free and open mesh, something completely decentralized and unconstrained. What we got was a few dozen separate but nearly-identical walled gardens, each owned and controlled by a different global conglomerate. There were also thousands of smaller meshes that ranged from independent or experimental set-ups to 'borrowed' server space like the triplets' hangout, to actually dangerous black-hat zones. Needless to say the megacorps didn't want you to know about any of that stuff.

Normal users could travel from one sanitized corporate-owned mesh portal to another, but the corpos did all they could to discourage that. They wanted you spending your time and attention and most of all money on their servers and their products, not the competitors'.

For delvers like the triplets or myself that was a minor inconvenience, for the average casual mesh user it was an annoyance but something they learned to live with. When you started talking about actual digitization and living full-time in the mesh though, it became a serious concern and carried a ton of risks. Some of which could be literally life-and-death, if you had to depend on someone else's servers to maintain your existence.

Still, it was awfully tempting, especially for someone like me. I already spent all my time in the mesh, so it's not like I'd ever miss returning to meatspace. Although I could see how some people might be uncomfortable with that idea.

If there was a way to do it that was guaranteed safe, and if I could also guarantee my digital self wouldn't end up trapped in some corpo hell server forced to work for some corporate master... Basically that'd just be my current life, but with even less freedom and fewer options.

If those concerns could be addressed though, if there were ways to guarantee my safety and freedom, then I'd definitely be giving this some serious consideration.

Like Glitch implied, this had the potential to free me from my reliance on Trodacorp. If I didn't have a meatspace body that required regular maintenance and a physical place to live, well I certainly wouldn't need that corporate paycheque anymore.

That thought left me wondering about the mysterious green-haired delver again. I wanted to know how she managed to find or access that old paper, considering it was almost certainly lost during the Collapse. And more importantly, I wanted to know how much she actually knew about me and my situation. Because that's information I hadn't even shared with the triplets yet. It wasn't anything Glitch could have found by hacking my HUD either, since none of that data was in there.

In fact the only way I could think of for her to find out would be to somehow match my mesh identity to my meatspace self, then hack my financial records to find out where my money was going. Then hack those accounts to find out who they were and what they did. And frankly if Glitch did all that while she was also messing with me and hacking the Trodacorp servers, then the megacorps should just give up now. Because multi-task hacking at that speed and level is the sort of thing entire teams of corpos struggled to achieve.

Then again she made amazingly short work of my attack and my defences, blowing both of them away like they were nothing. I couldn't help wondering how she did all that, and if she'd maybe teach me some of those tricks. Except I already knew she wouldn't, or at least not as long as I was on one of those corpo teams.

One thing I was sure of though, I had to speak with her again. I had to find out what she knew about that digitization paper, if it was actually possible and if she knew anyone who'd done it.

It was a wild and crazy fantasy, but I couldn't help wondering if maybe Desrosiers or Sachs tried it themselves. Maybe they didn't die in the Collapse after all, maybe they lived on in digital form, the first true denizens of the mesh. And if that were the case, then maybe Glitch actually knew them. Maybe that's how she found out about that research paper.

My heart started racing again as it suddenly occurred to me, it was possible she was actually one of them. It made sense, and explained how her attack on me was able to use unknown and undocumented functions that were part of the core mesh protocols. Obviously the two people who created the mesh would know its inner workings, they'd know how to access and use that stuff better than anyone else.

The more I thought about it the more certain I was, that Glitch had to be either Desrosiers or Sachs. My money was on Sachs, although that was mostly a hunch. I had a feeling Desrosiers would have a more unique or unusual avatar, based on everything I'd read about them. In fact I couldn't help feeling a little bit of pride thinking Desrosiers probably would have approved of the smoke-puff av I created for myself.

That in turn left me feeling sad again about my lost avatar. As much as I missed it, I didn't really feel like recreating it. Mostly because I'd pretty much have to start over from scratch. And to be honest my little purple anthro foxgirl form wasn't all that bad.

I'd managed to avoid thinking about gender stuff so far, thanks to that digitization paper. But maybe it was time to -

"Boop!" nil said as she gently poked my nose with her forefinger.

I blinked as I suddenly realized I wasn't alone. The triplets were all standing around my chair, staring down at me with wide happy grins on their faces while their tails slowly swished back and forth behind them in sync. Then I realized I must have curled up into a little ball at some point after I finished reading that document. I was laying on the seat of the chair with my chin resting on the tip of my tail, which I was hugging against my chest.

"My turn," null announced as they reached out towards me. They lightly tapped my nose then added, "Boop!"

"Wha-" I started to ask.

NaN cut me off with another little tap on the tip of my snout as she repeated, "Boop!"

"What was that for?" I asked, while my eyes crossed as I focused on my nose.

nil stifled a giggle, "We booped your snoot!"

"Because you're so cute," null added.

NaN stated triumphantly, "And that's a fact you cannot refute!"

Up until that moment I'd only been vaguely aware of the way my mouth and nose protruded forward from my face. I'd known my face was fox-shaped, but it was more like background information, in the periphery of my perception. Now that they'd called my attention to it I suddenly couldn't unsee or ignore it.

I slowly reached one of my purple-furred hands up and gently touched my nose, then ran my fingers along my cheeks and under my chin as I explored the contours of my new face. It was a strange sensation, being equal parts comforting yet unfamiliar.

My mouth opened slightly and I passed a finger along my teeth and noted how sharp some of them were, especially the larger canines. Then I ran my tongue along my teeth, which also made me realize just how long my tongue was in this avatar. It took me a few moments to get my head around that, considering my smoke puff didn't even have a tongue. Or teeth, or a mouth.

"I think we might have broken her," null commented to their siblings. "Either that or she's crashed? Wisp-dot-app has stopped responding. Abort retry or fail?"

"Boop the cute snoot to force a reboot?" NaN asked with a smirk.

nil suppressed another giggle before her expression became serious. She gave null a little nudge as she reminded them, "Wisp hasn't said anything about pronouns yet, so maybe don't make any more assumptions?"

"Right," the nyanby grimaced. "Sorry Wisp. I don't suppose you had time to think about any of that stuff while you were offline?"

I sighed as I finally uncurled myself from the little ball I'd been in. I ended up sitting crosslegged on the chair again, with my big floofy tail curled up on my lap. Then I replied, "Not really? I had some other important stuff on my mind. And maybe I was kind of avoiding -"

"Boop!" NaN interrupted as she tapped my nose again.

"Please stop booping me," I pouted.

The catgirl's ears drooped as she pouted right back at me, "But you're so cute it's hard to resist!"

Having someone calling me cute yet again left me flustered, and realizing that was why they kept booping my nose somehow made it even worse. I pouted a little harder while my tall fuzzy ears drooped and I hugged my big floofy tail against my chest again.

"Just please don't boop me any more right now?" I mumbled. "It's very distracting."

NaN relented with an apology, "I'm sorry Wisp. I hope I didn't go too far with that?"

"It's ok," I shrugged slightly. "I guess I'm still trying to get used to all this?"

Then nil prompted me, "You were saying something about avoidance, before NaN interrupted? And sorry but on the subject of pronouns, do you want us to keep using he and him for you?"

"Yeah I was..." I started, but my voice trailed off almost immediately.

I realized her second question kind of ran head first into the stuff I'd been avoiding to begin with. I frowned then sighed as I hugged my tail a little tighter. I found myself staring cross-eyed at my cute little snout again, while at the same time I became aware of those tell-tale mounds on my chest on either side of my tail.

It was like with my foxy face a few moments earlier, other aspects of my new avatar that I'd been vaguely aware of were suddenly coming into sharp focus.

Such as my hands, which were small and delicate but tipped with sharp-looking claws instead of fingernails. Then there were my slender wrists and slim but lithe arms. Narrow shoulders and waist. Wide hips. Shapely legs. Cute paw-like feet that were equipped with more claws. And sitting crosslegged as I was, I could even see my adorable little toe beans. As I stared down at myself I realized I didn't even know if I'd been walking normally since my transformation, or if I'd been walking digitigrade like my beans and claws suggested.

All those realizations about my new body rushed into my head where they bumped into the thoughts of Glitch and the triplets calling me a girl yesterday, referring to me with she and her pronouns, and just generally telling me how cute and adorable I was.

My tail twitched two or three times before escaping my grasp, then began trying to wag. Although mostly it was just thumping against the back of the chair behind me.

There were some nervous butterflies in my tummy as I finally focused on my friends once more. I took a deep breath then in a slightly anxious voice I told them, "I think I'd like to try she her pronouns? Just to um, just to see how they fit?"

Once again I found myself looking up at three wide happy grins, while three black furry tails swished back and forth in unison as three pairs of ears angled forwards towards me.

"Ok Wisp," nil replied.

null added, "We'll do that."

"Anything for a super cute girl like you!" NaN enthused.

I felt my cheeks heating up as a grin settled on my face as well. And once again I was happy that my fur meant nobody could see the blush as I mumbled, "Thank you."

"So you were going to tell us about avoiding something?" nil reminded me.

I grimaced, "Yeah. I guess I tried to avoid thinking about um, gender stuff? But it's definitely been hovering around the back of my mind? And asking me the pronouns question just now kind of forced it?"

"Well that and the new avatar I mean. Hard to ignore that," I added with a self-deprecating laugh. "Anyways it's all still very new, and I'm not ready to commit to anything for sure just yet? But um, yeah. I guess trying out the femme pronouns is kind of a start? To test the waters?"

The three catgirls were all smiling at me, but this time their expressions were more compassionate rather than excited.

nil responded first, "That sounds like a good idea Wisp. Take it slow, don't rush into things. I know it can be a big deal, all three of us know what that's like. And if you ever want or need to talk about this stuff, I'm here for you. I'm sure NaN and null would be happy to talk to you about gender stuff too."

The other two thirds of the triplets both nodded in agreement.

"I know it's scary taking those first steps," null added. "But like nil said, we're here for you."

Then NaN reached out and gave me a few gentle pets on the top of my head between my ears as she smiled, "Good girl."

Part of me wanted to protest, like first the boops and now the headpats? Plus the fact that they were cats and I was a fox, the whole animal hierarchy thing suggested I wasn't supposed to be their pet. Meanwhile the rest of me melted happily while my tail once again tried to wag up a storm behind me.

Eventually the headpats came to an end, and I did my very best not to sigh or pout. Instead I asked, "I don't suppose any of you know how I could get in touch with Glitch, do you? I need to talk to her again, about some stuff that came up during that encounter yesterday."

"I doubt anyone knows how to contact her directly," null replied, "But I know a certain black-hat chat room where you can try leaving her a message. I can't guarantee anything, but I'd say there's a good chance she'll notice the message."

That sounded iffy, but considering how elusive Glitch was supposed to be I figured it was better than waiting around at work for her to strike again. So I nodded, "I'll take it. Can you shoot me a packet or something, with the chat room routing?"

The cat enby shook their head, "Nope. But I can take you there myself. It's invitation only, you need a member to get you in."

"Good enough," I replied as I finally got up out of my chair.

null smiled as they reached out and took my hand in theirs, and just like that I felt flustered again. I wasn't sure if it was because I was a cute girl holding hands with a cute enby, or maybe it was because the height difference made it look like null was taking me out for a walk and they worried I might wander off and get lost.

"Hold on tight cutie," they stated with a smile, "Here we go!"

Then before I could reply everything around me dissolved into a mess of pixels and hexadecimal notation.

** This chapter was brought to you courtesy of Camille, who commissioned it! **