Wrong Afterlife - Ch.2 - Worst. Isekai. Ever. (Patreon)

*** content warning: brief violence; injury; transformation ***

"This sucks," I grumbled as I stomped through the woods. 

I'd been following a footpath for the last two hours, but I had no idea where it would take me. 

"Stupid Natasha and her stupid promises," I muttered bitterly. 

The whole thing had been a scam, and I felt almost as angry with myself that I fell for it as I was with her for lying to me in the first place.

"Not even a single girlfriend," I griped. "No powers, no money. Dumped in the middle of nowhere, not even a map. Not even a cool new body. What the hell!?"

I shouted that last part at the sky, for all the good it did me.

When I appeared in the woods a couple hours earlier I was excited, eager to start my new life of adventure and sex. Instead I discovered I was completely alone and lost. All I had with me was the rough handmade clothes on my back, a rusty old short sword with a blade that was barely longer than my forearm, and the knowledge of how to cast a single lousy spell. 

I could make sparks flicker from my hand. Maybe I could give someone a mild shock if they were in reach. That was the extent of my magic. My big power was no more impressive than wearing socks on carpet in the winter, I could make a bit of static electricity.

I kicked a few plants on the side of the path as I stomped along, cursing and complaining.

Maybe the worst thing was my body was exactly the same as before. I stood over a hundred and ninety centimetres tall, skinny, a little uncoordinated and a bit weak for my size. I sucked at fighting in my last life, I probably sucked at it in this life too. About the only thing I had going for me, outside of my mastery of static electric shocks, was I'd been gifted with knowledge of how to use my crappy sword.

So maybe I wasn't completely useless.

On the other hand I couldn't really gauge whether my sword skills were any good or not. One thing I totally forgot to ask for was a System. I was so used to all the isekai protagonists getting systems that I didn't even think to mention it. 

That was just another disappointment. I probably spent fifteen or twenty minutes trying to call up my status screen, before I had to give up and accept the fact that I didn't have one.

My final complaint was I'd been dumped in the middle of nowhere without any money or food, and that was going to be a problem soon. Basically I had to hope I could find a town or village, then hope I could land a job so I could make rent and feed myself. Which was basically just as bad as the life I left behind. Except this world probably didn't have modern medicine or social support.

I was still stomping along muttering to myself an hour later when I heard the scream from somewhere up ahead. It was a woman's voice, and she was definitely in trouble.

Just like that all my complaints and gripes were forgotten. I brandished my sword as I raced forward along the path towards the scream, with visions of heroism playing out in my mind. I'd save the girl from some goblin or bandit or something, she'd be instantly smitten by my bravery, and suddenly I'd have my very first girlfriend. In this life or the last one.

Fortunately the girl wasn't too far away, I was already a little winded from running as I emerged into a small clearing and immediately saw what was happening.

There was a beautiful half-naked foxgirl standing with her back to the trunk of a large tree, while some asshole threatened her with his sword.

The jerk was human, he looked to be in his mid-thirties maybe. Where I was just decked out in rough linen pants and a tunic, he wore tailored cotton pants and a leather jacket that looked to be padded and had some hardened panels in strategic places. I had cheap leather sandals on my feet, he wore knee-high black leather boots. And my short sword was spotted with rust, his rapier gleamed like he'd just finished polishing it.

On the other hand, I was taller than him and had better reach. I was younger too, by at least a decade. At twenty-two and a hundred and ninety-two centimetres tall, even if I wasn't the strongest I could still be a little intimidating when I tried. Mr. Asshole was probably pushing thirty-five, and he was at least fifteen centimetres shorter than me. Like one seventy-five if he was lucky. And his leather jacket was tight around the midsection, suggesting some early middle-aged spread on the guy.

At the same time I tried not to be too smitten by the foxgirl. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Smaller than I'd like in a girlfriend, she was probably about a hundred and fifty centimetres tall, not including her fuzzy pointed ears that stood up ten or twelve centimetres above her head. Her hair was jet black, same with the fur on her ears and the floof of her tail. Her eyes were black too, while her skin was pale as alabaster. The contrast gave her a mysterious, exotic appearance.

She'd been wearing a short black dress but it was torn open revealing her substantial chest. She was covering them as best she could, her long poofy tail was wrapped around her hip and she held the floofy fur against herself as she cowered before the asshole who was assaulting her.

I hadn't even slowed my run as I took in the whole scene, and I meant to use my momentum to help me hit the guy. My sword was raised, I was going to bring it down where his shoulder met his neck. I figured even if my first strike didn't kill him, it'd disable him then I could finish him off.

What I didn't bank on was just how good he really was. Or that he had some friends nearby.

"Roderick behind you!" a woman shouted as I crossed the clearing.

The asshole spun and got his weapon up just in time to block my swing. Honestly I wouldn't have believed his narrow blade would stand up to my short but heavier sword. He was obviously skilled though, he caught my weapon against the base of his blade, where it was thickest and strongest. Then moving with more speed and skill than I'd have thought possible he twisted my sword aside, and the next thing I knew his long narrow blade was buried in my gut.

My sword fell to the ground as my eyes bulged from the pain. I sank to my knees as he pulled his weapon free, and a surge of blood followed it. My cheap clothes were stained red as I clutched my stomach and looked up at him.

A few thoughts raced through my head as I looked up with eyes wide in shock. 

My new life only lasted a few hours. I managed to save the foxgirl, I saw her disappear like the wind into the woods as soon as his attention was on me. And at least I didn't die by tripping over something this time. 

Mr. Asshole pressed the tip of his sword against my throat and glared at me, "Damn you boy! You have no idea who I am or what you've done!"

I wanted to be defiant, I wanted to give the guy a witty response. Or at least tell him to fuck off. Instead I just clutched my gut and tried not to whimper in fear or pain. What I hadn't realized until that moment was just how much dying hurt. And I had a feeling it was going to hurt even worse when he finished me off.

He obviously saw that fear of death in my expression. I felt the tip of his sword press slightly into my throat, but instead of finishing me he spoke.

"My name is Roderick the Great," he stated. "Yield to me and I will spare your life. Refuse and you will die now, on your knees and in pain."

It was an easy choice. I gulped and half-whispered, "I yield to you, Roderick the Great."

He lowered his sword as his expression shifted to a smile. Roderick's eyes were locked on mine as he responded, "Good girl."

I barely had a chance to register the words before his eyes lit up with pink light. A wave of dizziness came over me and the meadow spun around me as that same pink light surrounded and enveloped me.

When the light faded I found myself still kneeling on the ground, but the pain was gone. That wasn't the only change though, not by a long-shot. My eyes widened and my heart-rate spiked as I found myself looking down at a body that wasn't mine. 

The most obvious difference was the huge pair of breasts practically staring me in the face. I raised my hands up and found they were small and almost delicate-looking. And even kneeling I could tell my legs were smooth and shapely. My hips were wide, my waist narrow. I didn't have to look to know what was now between my legs. It was just as clear to me as what wasn't between my legs, at least not anymore.

My clothes had vanished too, leaving me completely naked and vulnerable. 

Beyond that I was aware of some even stranger things. Like something was moving back and forth behind me in a rhythmic side-to-side pattern. And there were sensations on the top of my head that seemed somehow related to my ears, like I could hear more clearly and accurately than before.

And what I was hearing was a hushed conversation taking place a few meters behind me.

"Why in the world did you do that?" one of the girls asked quietly. "Do you really think she's got any useful skills?"

The other girl responded, "He was thinking with with that big beautiful dick of his again. You know he needs more than just the two of us to keep him satisfied."

The swordsman stated, "I was upset that her interference led to the escape of the corrupted foxgirl. She was our best lead to find the queen. You know that's the only thing I've been focusing on, after what she did to Alaris."

All three of them sighed at that point. Whoever or whatever Alaris was, it sounded like they were important to these people. And something bad obviously happened to them.

The man continued, "When I saw this girl on her knees like that my special ability lit up and I knew she was compatible. So I decided to get myself a foxgirl after all."

There was a flutter in my chest, and I felt that back and forth movement behind me speed up, along with my heart rate.

The first girl commented, "Well now we're stuck with her, but I doubt she's going to be much use. She's just a peasant or something right? No equipment, no money, just an old sword she probably found."

"She's brave," the second girl pointed out. "She heard a scream and came running to help. That's something. We just have to give her some time to adjust, and maybe train her a bit. I think she'll be part of the team in no time."

"And if not? I don't suppose you could cut her loose? I mean, you haven't done anything with her yet. You haven't touched her or even spoken to her since triggering the..." the first girl's voice trailed off.

The man responded, "I've already claimed her. She's mine now, that's all there is to it."

Hearing him say that sent a flutter of fear and excitement through me. I glanced down at myself again, and this time I noticed the small pink heart tattooed on my left wrist. Somehow I knew that marked me as one of his. I could guess the other two girls had matching marks on their wrists.

The three of them were quiet for a few moments, then the guy seemed to make a decision. "Avril, why don't you go talk to her? Clara and I will set up camp here."

"What about the corrupted foxgirl?" Clara asked. "The one who got away, thanks to our new friend?"

The man sighed again, "She's long gone. Probably off to warn the queen about us. I'll set up wards around the meadow before nightfall, but we should be ready for trouble tonight. Or tomorrow morning for sure."

"We've lost the element of surprise," he added, "But one way or another we're going to face her, and put an end to her foul reign."

That seemed to be the end of their conversation. 

I heard them moving around, and one of the girls came to sit down with me. She sat on the grass in front of me, while I nervously shifted to hug my knees to my chest. And the long floofy tail that had been wagging away behind me finally stopped moving. Instead it wrapped around my ankles and feet, then the tip came up and rested atop my knees, partially hiding my face. That's when I noticed my floof was an orange-red colour, with a white floofy tip.

"Hi there," my new companion said as she gave me a sympathetic smile. "My name's Avril. I know you're probably freaking out a little right now? Or maybe a lot. But I'm here to help."

She looked about nineteen or twenty, with shoulder length dirty-blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, and fair skin. She was wearing a knee-length pale green dress that looked to be made of linen, and had a simple rope belt around her narrow waist. She was absolutely gorgeous, but I was more taken by her kindness and soft melodic voice than her beauty.

"Do you have a name already picked out?" Avril asked. "I know a lot of folks like you usually have a name in mind, even if it's secret. No point keeping it secret anymore though."

I gulped, then in a half-whisper asked "What do you mean, folks like me?"

Avril gave me another sympathetic smile, "There's different words for it, depending on what realm or kingdom you're from. I mean people who are born with a body that doesn't match their soul, or how they feel inside."

She added, "It's how our friend's power works. He couldn't have transformed you like this unless you already wanted to be a girl, deep down inside."

If it was possible to die of embarrassment I'd have been a goner. I ducked my head down lower and shifted my tail to hide my face completely. 

"I'm not trans!" I insisted in my new soft soprano voice. 

Just because I wondered what it'd like to be a girl didn't mean I wanted to be one. Not all the time, anyways. It was just a normal guy thing, to be curious about what it's like on the other side of the fence. 

The fact that I kind of envied girls didn't mean anything either, like who wouldn't want to be cute and get to wear cute outfits and stuff. Girls had all the best clothes and hair styles and stuff. 

"Ok cutie," Avril responded, and even without seeing her face I somehow knew she was giving me that sympathetic smile again. "I'm not here to argue with you. But I do need to call you something. If you don't already have a name picked out then one of us will probably choose one for you."

With my face still completely hidden I mumbled, "Fiona."

Having a favourite girl name 'just in case' didn't mean anything either, I told myself. Lots of guys did that, it was part of imagining what it'd be like to be a girl. 

Anyways, the main thing was I really didn't want to risk them giving me some awful name that I'd end up hating. I already spent one lifetime stuck with a name I detested, I wasn't about to let that happen again.

"Nice to meet you Fiona," Avril replied. "That's a pretty name, for a pretty girl."

My heart fluttered briefly at the compliment. Then I grumbled softly to myself, mostly some choice swears directed at Natasha, because I finally understood what she really meant about being an arm's length away from getting my perfect fantasy isekai. I thought she meant I'd get most but not all of my wishes. What she really meant was I'd literally be arms length away from the guy who actually got all my wishes. 

He was the protagonist, while my destiny was to become part of his harem. And that pink heart on my wrist meant it already happened.