Home Sweet Home - Ch.14 - Assistant to Ms. Lawrence (Patreon)

*** content warning: misogyny / annoying coworker ***

"Hello Jason," I said with a forced smile as I hurried down the last few steps. "I thought you'd taken some time off. What brings you here today?"

My coworker ignored my greeting and my question and immediately demanded, "What's the deal with you having your own assistant?!"

I moved quickly across the foyer to stand beside Jenna then quietly started to explain, "She's not -"

Jason interrupted me, "Honestly if anyone deserves to have an assistant it's me! Wasn't that supposed to be your job in the first place Vic? You used to help me out around the office. Now you're spending all your time these days trying to be a sales agent, I think Jenna ought to be working for me instead."

"And you know I'm going to be talking to Erin about this first thing Monday morning," he added. "I've got seniority over you Vic, I get first dibs on the new assistant."

Rather than respond I just stared at him silently for another second or two, so I knew he was actually finished and not waiting to talk over me again. Then I asked, "Jason what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off golfing or something?"

"I played a round earlier," he responded without a hint of irony. "Then I thought I should drop in and check up on you, to see how you're handling things. And maybe offer you some of my expert advice. I know it's your first open house, and honestly this place is way too big for you to handle on your own."

"That's why I'm here!" Jenna announced in a cheerful tone and with a bright smile. "I'm helping out with the basic stuff while Vikki takes care of the complicated questions."

She maintained that cheery demeanour as she handed me a business card and said, "Speaking of which, you should probably have a look at this?"

That got Jason started again, and while he was ranting I glanced down at the card in my hand.

Rather than someone's name and contact information, the plain white card had a single sentence written on it in bright pink ink and signed with a pink heart underneath. "Just say the words 'I wish he was a newt' and I'll take care of everything!"

My cheeks coloured as I quickly folded the card before anyone else saw it. I glanced at the genie and she flashed me a hopeful smile and winked at me, before we both turned our attention back to my annoying coworker again.

He was still going on about how he was much busier and more experienced than me, and therefore he deserved an assistant of his own. He also complained about how unfair it was that I got an assistant before him, and how he was definitely going to be complaining to Erin about the whole situation as soon as he saw her.

I tried a few times to get a word in, but he wouldn't let me get a word in. In the end I had to raise my voice and talk over him, "Jason! This isn't the time or place, ok? And she's not my assistant! You're getting all worked up over nothing!"

"Seriously Vic?" Jason asked as he frowned and shook his head. "You know how unprofessional that is, shouting at a coworker like that? And in the middle of an open house, with potential buyers around? If you're going to start acting hysterical maybe you should just head home right now. I'll handle things from here."

When I tried to respond he cut me off, "And there's no point lying about it either Vic. This girl introduced herself as your assistant when I got here."

By that point I was positively seething, but I fought to hold back my anger. The last thing I needed was listening to him casually berate me for being too emotional or 'shouting' at him again.

"Actually," Jenna chimed in, "I'm not on the payroll or anything like that. Me and Vikki are best friends and I knew she was going to be really busy here today, so I came to give her a hand."

Jason frowned, "Then why'd you say you were her assistant?"

The genie shrugged, "I'm being helpful and assisting Vikki. So technically I'm an assistant."

"And it means I get to call myself 'Assistant to Ms. Lawrence' which sounds pretty boss!" she added with a wide happy grin. That faded after a moment as she frowned, "Oh except assistants aren't bosses, so hmm..."

While the genie was lost in thought my coworker fixed his attention back on me again. And in a 'helpful but condescending' tone he stated, "You know it's illegal for an unlicensed individual to participate in or broker the sale of real estate. If your friend helps you make a sale here both of you could face charges. You might even lose that license you only just got a couple months ago."

I found myself staring at him as it dawned on me he might actually be petty enough to file a complaint himself, especially if I did manage to sell the property today. Or if it sold later, but to someone who was here today. And unfortunately I was fighting so hard not to lose my temper while also focusing on keeping my tone level and expression calm that I didn't put nearly enough thought into what I actually said.

"My gods Jason are you really that jealous?" I asked in a firm quiet voice. "Are you so threatened by possibility that I might actually be successful, that you have to try and sabotage my open house with a hissy fit about my best friend helping me out? Is it because of my age? Or because I'm a woman? Are you that misogynistic you can't cope with the fact that I might even be better than you someday? Seriously Jason, I wish you could see for yourself just how pathetic and annoying you really are!"

The words had barely left my lips when I realized my mistake. And with Jenna standing right there next to me there was no chance of my slip-up going unnoticed.

The genie's eyes widened and she exclaimed with a wide grin, "Oh! That's way better than my newt idea! Granted!"

With a flick of her wrist my coworker Jason McTavish vanished in a little explosion of pink flower petals, complete with the Poof! sound effect. In the middle of the main foyer of the large expensive house I had open to the public. The public who were currently here in droves to see the property.

"Jenna!" I half-whispered as I cringed and glanced around. "What did you do?! Where did he go? And what about all these witnesses?!"

Except nobody seemed to be paying us any attention. There was a middle-aged couple standing by the hall table looking through one of my brochures, an older woman standing just inside the front door who seemed to be appraising the whole front entrance including the high ceiling and the curving staircase behind me, and three younger folks who looked about my age that were probably just here as tourists. None of them were staring at Jenna and I, and nobody seemed shocked or horrified at what just happened.

Then Laura approached from the direction of the dining room. She gave me a relieved look as she commented quietly, "I'm so glad you convinced him to leave. Sorry for interrupting you upstairs by the way, but I was really worried that guy was going to cause a scene."

"Nah it's all good," Jenna responded with a relaxed smile. "Vikki knows how to handle those problem types."

"I'll say," Laura smiled. Then she excused herself and headed back to the kitchen so she could stock up the cookie tray again.

"Jenna?" I asked quietly. "What did you do? Where's Jason? And why didn't anyone else notice what happened?"

The genie flashed me a mischievous grin as she replied quietly, "I granted your wish and sent Mr. McTavish on a little journey of introspection and self-discovery. He'll probably be fine, and maybe he'll even learn something along the way."

"And you'd know why nobody noticed if you let me do my big song and dance routine way back when we first met," she added with a smug grin. "I'll give you a hint though. Under normal circumstances, the only people who'll ever know about your wishes are you and me."

There was a lot more I wanted to ask her, but I was distracted before could say anything else.

"Oh there you are Miss Lawrence," Mr. Melnick said as he and his wife came down the large curving staircase. "Gloria and I have been talking it over and we'd like to put in an offer on the property. I know you're probably going to be busy here for a few more hours, but I didn't want to wait and risk someone else scooping it out from under us."

Before I could respond another gentleman strode out of the living room as he stated, "Not so fast. I've been waiting patiently to speak with Miss Lawrence about purchasing this place myself."

Where the Melnicks looked like a couple well-off retirees, this other guy looked like he just stepped out of the boardroom of some multinational conglomerate. He probably wasn't far from retirement age himself, but he was dressed in a dark blue turtleneck and a tailored grey suit jacket, dark grey slacks and black leather shoes. He was clean shaved and his greying black hair was expertly coiffed.

In all, he looked like he wanted you to know he was trying not to let on how rich and important he was. I half expected him to have some sort of entourage or at least a flunky or two nearby.

Meanwhile my thoughts were scrambling to change gears away from Jason and genies and magic as I looked back and forth between this new fellow and the older couple who were all vying for my time and attention. Fortunately Erin had actually prepared me for this sort of situation, and it only took me a moment to respond.

My best professional smile settled on my expression as I calmly explained to both parties, "While I appreciate that you're all excited about this fantastic property, I really can't favour any one buyer over another. I represent the seller, and as such I have to move forward with their best interests in mind. Finally, as you astutely observed Mr. Melnick, I'll be busy overseeing this open house showing until five PM today."

"My suggestion to both of you is contact your people," I continued, "Lawyers or real estate agents, and have them submit your offers through my office. All my information is on my business card and in the brochure. Then we can continue the process in a more private and relaxed setting."

The rich self-important guy was already on his phone before I'd even finished. I wasn't sure if he'd called his lawyer or another real estate agent, but he was definitely telling someone to put together an official offer. And to have it ready before the weekend was over, so I'd have it on my desk first thing Monday morning.

The Melnicks heard that too, and they hurried to grab another brochure and one of my business cards. Then they rushed out the front door, presumably to go make their own arrangements.

The first guy tucked his phone away as he addressed me, "The name's Harvey Abrams by the way. You should be receiving my offer no later than this time tomorrow, and I'll expect to hear from you first thing Monday morning."

I glanced at Jenna again, positive she had something to do with the sudden interest in the property. Then I focused on Harvey and smiled, "Very well Mr. Abrams, I look forward to working with you and your representatives."

He nodded once then turned and headed out the front door as well, leaving me standing there next to Jenna.

"Ok what did you do?" I asked softly.

The genie gave me an innocent look as she protested, "Nothing! I've just been standing here greeting people when they come in. I point them to the brochures and business cards, and I tell them there's refreshments in the dining room. And four people have asked about washrooms so I told them where to find the one that's ok to use."

"The only other thing I've done is direct people to you when they tried to ask me complicated questions," she added. "Like the Melnicks, they wanted to know a bunch of stuff so I told them you were upstairs in the master bedroom."

I frowned at her, "That's all? You didn't do something to make Mr. Abrams suddenly want to buy the place?"

Jenna grimaced, "Oh goodness no! That man's got wizard magic all over him, he'd have noticed if I messed with him like that."

"Honestly," she added as her grimace shifted to a frown, "I'm kind of glad he wasn't here a few minutes earlier when I granted your wish. Technically nobody should know about that but you and me, but I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of his enchantments would alert him to my magic. Even if he didn't know for sure what I'd done."

I stared at her as I asked, "He's a wizard? Seriously?"

"I didn't say that," she responded with a shrug. "Only that he's got plenty of wizard magic on him. But yeah I guess it's kind of likely he's a wizard. Or really good friends with one."

It took me another couple seconds to process that. Then I just sighed, "You know what, that's fine. Werewolves, witches, wizards, whatever."

"And genies, right?" Jenna added with a hopeful smile.

"Of course," I replied. "Genies too. After all, I can't forget my new assistant slash best friend."

Just like that my genie friend was practically bouncing as she grinned happily, "Yay! Thanks Vikki!"

I smiled too as I finally excused myself, "I better get back to it, I need to check if anyone else has any questions or needs me for anything. Thanks for helping out Jenna, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome!" she grinned.

Things remained busy right up until the end, with a steady stream of guests coming to have a look at the place. I even got two more serious queries, that left me anticipating a possible four-way bidding war come Monday morning.

When five o'clock rolled around Jenna and Laura helped me with a walk-through to ensure all the guests had left. Then we gave Laura a hand packing up her catering stuff, before her boss showed up with their van to load up and haul everything away.

The cleaning crew arrived a little late, but the house was surprisingly clean despite all the traffic we'd had through it. I had a sneaking suspicion a certain genie may have pitched in there, but I wasn't going to complain and neither did the cleaners. They were on their way again before six, and so were we.

I locked up the place then Jenna got into the passenger seat of the SUV while I slipped behind the wheel. We collected our folding signs, and at long last we set off for home.

"What do you want to do for dinner tonight?" the genie asked as soon as we made our way back to town.

I shrugged, "At one point I thought about stopping at one of the fancy restaurants, so we could celebrate? Except I'm honestly kind of exhausted now. How about we just head home, then order something in?"

"Pizza?" she asked with a hopeful smile. "Can we get pizza delivered?"

I smiled, "If that's what you want, then that's what we'll get."

"Yay!" Jenna exclaimed happily. And once again she reminded me of a little kid, the way she could get so excited about the smallest things.

*** This chapter is brought to you courtesy of Meg, who commissioned it! ***