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The Official Podcast #413 - Dragon Age: FAILguard (Patreon)

Published:
2024-11-01 03:22:27
Edited:
2026-01-15 16:08:34
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Recorded before release btw

Comments

p

Second

SugmaNard

Never had such low expectations for a game anyway

KameCold

Wooooh YEAAAA BABYYY, that’s what I’ve been waiting for. That’s what it’s all about WOOOOOH.

Jonathan Grier

Bill was gay, but there is NO indication that his mate who killed himself was gay. That plot point is literally just chinese whispers on the internet.

Henry Delgado

To be fair, Jackson, the reason why people aren't taught to be affectionate to sea creatures is cause when they are. They act like your brother n try to fuck a crawfish/crab or whatever lol (jk)

Javen X

What if my monster 👹 made you moan😮‍💨 instead of scream 😱

Grelk

its so upsetting what bioware's done to dragon age

bigwilly

I was toe to toe with andrew through that whole quiz but hearing him go nuts after winning made me burst out laughing

Kuyler Quijas

Kaya read the sissy kink post before and they both missed it lol

Caden rossetti

It’s crazy how people treat fish like they’re not a animal. My Oscar’s turning 5 soon😀

Jianu Reeves

Lobsters are boiled/killed as close to eating as possible because the bacteria in them decompose them super quick relative to other seafood and that could lead to illness

KameCold

Cmon Andrew. The only characters in sparking zero that say modern slang is the 2 children 😂

Joey Liefting

My grandfather's name was Cornellus. Not Cornelius, but Cornellus. He was the most Dutch man I ever knew.

Keegan

Herbert the pervert

colinknife

I still don’t understand the hate for different media being skins in games, it sounds so pointless to dislike

PadMo

Don’t know when it was but Kaya 100% read out that sissy post before, he must go back to that once in a while lol

Bruce

The only argument you could make in the deep sea intelligence argument is deep sea octopi, octopi are extremely smart, they can even take off lids!

Bruce

Jacksons brother is the deep confirmed

Bruce

HE ABSOLUTELY HAS I REMEMBER THAT SHIT VIVIDLY

Khârn the betrayer

I was gonna name my dog batman when I was a kid until I found out she was a girl and named her "Adita" which means little fary in Spanish

Isidro Duarte

I’m guilty of the naming a pet a cliche name. Got my very first cat and named him Oreo.

Twocan

I just went to creep cast live and went to the New Orleans Aquarium; what the fuck are you talking about “no cute fish?” They have stingrays you can pet that have a face that is LITERALLY :3. They’re cute creatures, go to the aquarium, you silly geese.

Bwoods

I think the reason Herbert sounds like a pedo name is Family Guy

StoicEyes

Bo6 is the best cod in a long time and cod literally releases original skins all the time it’s just everyone gets the cross over skins for some reason

Loubang

In my job I've come across two children named Sephiroth

Josh Crawford

I went to school with a girl named Danstyn. It's pronounced Danny.

Jordan Smith

i love these fill in the blank reddit posts at the end lmao so awesome

Paragon-VI

Okay, 1: I really hope Andrew was named after some fictional character and just doesn't know, 2: Cat/Dog is an actual name, there's no actual difference between those and any other name, they're all arbitrary

BusterSwamp

Sissy story was on Who’s right, I think

Dreezy

Speaking on novelty/character names for people, my cousins name is zelda And with the trunks no cap part, yea it’s kinda weird for him to be using more modern slang, but if you go back to the buu saga him and goten do the exact same thing with slang and saying from back then too, Two examples that I came to mind immediately is trunks saying we’re cooked and goten saying “let’s go kick some boo-tah “

alex

Andrew demonstrating cognitive dissonance on this one

Western Philosopher

If I ever get a guard dog, I’m naming it Scrotum Eater.

Western Philosopher

There’s an alternate world where Jackson’s name is James Doyle Clarke, and he’s definitely some sort of historical figure in that timeline.

Awwwcrap

The thing on names, Robin Williams named his Daughter Zelda because he was a fan of the game

Olgwyn

Veilguard sounds like ME Andromeda. Just being the leader of a band of assholes and manchildren with none of the serious tone that the original three games had. If the characters don't care/treat it seriously, why should the character.

Tj

You used to turn off your damn fish oxygen for recordings Jackson you're not safe in the fish hate conversation. Not sure if that's how that works BUT I remember something about you suffocating fish. I'm onto you

Yonder

No, they specifically talked about this post in the cuck episode tears in beards I think

Yonder

Pretty sure it was in the episode tears in beards where they talk about cucks

SugmaNard

Where art thou Jeremiah?

Jackson Clarke’s Right Hand

Speaking on wild names, I work at UPS and look at labels all day, and the name that has never left my mind is Snownikka.

Western Philosopher

Is it a hot take for me to say that I think every complaint you guys have about Dragon Age’s dialogue applies to Baldur’s Gate 3 and it’s why I stopped playing it?

Ryan Smith

Jackson my middle name is James! Ryan James Smith

lanirus

Fish community not gonna like this one

Jake Wulgar

It was cool for a while in fortnite, but now a bunch of multiplayer games have them which i can see is getting redundant

Jake Wulgar

Jackson, the “orcs” you speak of in dragon age, are called qunari. (Ku-nar-ee). Theyre basically orcs but resemble more of tieflings without tails. Tbf the qunari designs have never been consistent through out the games.

ZombieWolf2508

The sissy kink post during the quiz has been read on the show before, I don't think it was even that long ago I'm pretty sure the pegging one was too

Eric Smith

I used to love the dragon age IP... What a shame

SugmaNard

Last one fuckin sucked too. And everyone said 2 was ass compared to the first game. The series has always been kind of a swing and a miss

Nick Hathcock

I actually like the new dragon age so far and I’m like 10 hours in, the spoon fed story is kinda annoying though

galileeo

Am I crazy or have we heard the horrible dick sucking story on the show before?

manxie

You're crazy. THE BUGS ARE IN YOUR SKIN.

Geralt

I find it funny how none of the three guys remember that sissy story being read out on the show before even though they were actually there, but I just autistically remembered the whole thing after the first sentence. Quiz was great just wish it was longer.

Paolo De Leon

The new Mass Effect is doomed to fail if veilguard is a hint of the current state of bioware

lanirus

I hope you guys keep doing the games at the end so funny makes me #goon!

jake

The quizzes are great! Adding some lighthearted stakes would be fun like the loser has to go see a boring movie or something

Our God is an Awesome God Trap Remix - look it up

Are you guys really this shocked that a lot of people don’t go to games for immersion? I don’t go to Fortnite cause I want an immersive experience or deep story. I go to fuck around with my friends and it’s a lot funnier doing that as dumb characters from other series

LunaTrix

My grandmother suggested the name Tilibartha (tilly-bar-tha) and my father told her I would never get a blind date

Monochrome Rainbow

Using one of the most critically acclaimed games of all time as the standard and representation of all older games then using the worst possible examples of modern games as the standard and representation is silly. Did we not just have Baldurs Gate 3, God of War, Ghost of Tsushima, etc etc etc from western devs that have great writing and immersion. There were horrible games in 2006 too fellas. And most of the old franchises (like dragon age) have completely different dev teams. The devs of old work on new projects. I still have a small bit of faith since ME5 will have mostly vets from the original trilogy.

Isaac

Weird hearing about Marijuana Pepsi on here. 2 friends of mine had them as a professor in college.

Me

"Doyle Clark" sounds like the soft-headed enforcer for an old western gang or mafia man

Me

That's actually a good point. I feel like sometime in the last year the boys talked about how good gamers have been eating lately.

Warpup

Bioshock touches on politics perfectly