Return of the Runebound Professor - Chapter 721 (Patreon)

Fuyin was standing outside Noah’s former room when he and Moxie turned the corner of the hall. She leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of her chest and a short sword resting beside her.  

Noah felt her domain prickle against his an instant before her gaze turned toward them. Her features were carved from ice and her lips pressed so thin that they were nearly white. Anyone else might have assumed that she was furious. 

There was actually a fair chance that she was. Noah didn’t have the faintest idea. He couldn’t recall the frosty Rank 5 ever not looking like a cat that had been pulled free from a freezing lake. The day Fuyin reacted to anything with much more than a flat stare was probably going to be the same one that hell froze over.

“You took your time,” Fuyin said, pushing away from the wall. “I was waiting for several hours. What was so important that you saw fit to make me sit around like some schoolchild come to you for advice?”

That is more than a little while ago, Moxie.

Noah coughed into his fist. But, before he could say anything, Moxie cut in.

“He ate something disagreeable,” Moxie said. “He’s been losing a fight in my washroom for practically twelve hours straight. That’s why he looks like he got the life pummeled out of him.”

Fuyin blinked. Then she nodded as if that was the most obvious explanation in the world, oblivious to the glare Noah shot Moxie.

“I see,” Fuyin said. “That is unfortunate. Are you recovered? We cannot afford anything but your absolute best for a task like this. Defecating yourself whilst in combat is less than ideal. It may distract you.”

Noah’s eye twitched. “I think I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. It’s… ah, all done. All gone. There will not be a shitting scene. I can assure you of that.”

“Are you certain?” Fuyin squinted at him. A corner of her lips pulled downward and her head tilted slightly to the side. “You seem… different. Did your struggle in the bathroom provide you with some significant insight?”

Noah stared at her. That was a sentence he never thought he’d hear from anyone, much less a Rank 5 Inquisitor. The worst part was Fuyin looked dead serious. She wasn’t trying to screw with him. She’d picked up on the new runes in his soul and genuinely thought he’d somehow shat himself into enlightenment.

Goddamn it. This woman is way too straight forward. Who asks someone that?

“Thinking whilst on the toilet is an ancient technique utilized by many,” Noah said. “A great many philosophers have found it to be one of the most optimal locations to truly look deep into yourself.  You should try it sometime. Just… not now. I believe we’ve got a task to do.”

“I see,” Fuyin said. And, for some reason, it really did sound like she did. “Then we will depart. Is there a more private location for us to continue this conversation? Your room is occupied. It also smells of fish.”

  Noah’s hands tightened at his sides. He got the feeling he knew why the room smelled bad. Karina and Contessa were trying to lure Mascot back out. His jaw clenched and he turned on his heel. He didn’t have the heart to tell them what had happened. Not now. And Mascot was, well, Mascot. Maybe he’d pop back up from the afterlife if they laid enough of a feast for him. 

“Come on,” Noah said. “Moxie’s room should do just fine. I’m eager to get this underway.”

***

“We will have to be fast,” Fuyin said. 

The three of them stood in Moxie’s room, standing in front of — for some reason — the bathroom door. A part of Noah had been convinced that Fuyin was about to stride right into the bathroom to search for signs of his supposedly immense struggle.

Fortunately for all of their sanity, she had stopped right in front of the door and made no moves to actually enter it. 

“How fast, exactly?” Noah asked. “You’re looking for proof that the Inquisition has been commandeered. That doesn’t seem like something that will just be lying on the table.”

“I have a way to access our archives,” Fuyin replied. “But our entry will not be quiet. I will need time to search through them. That is what I will need you to buy me.”

“You think someone’s going to conveniently keep a record of themselves turning evil?” Noah’s brow furrowed. “That’s a bit… optimistic.”

“No. I expect them to have expunged it. If the Inquisition has been corrupted as I suspect, there should be information missing or altered. The activities of the council are recorded to provide guidance for future generations. All of our secrets are. This is the way in which we have been able to combat the demons that broke into our world. There is nothing too vile or forbidden to not be recorded. So, if there is anything missing…”

“You’ll know who the bad egg is,” Noah said, his eyes lighting up. “That’s pretty clever. But what if the records are just falsified? Seems easier than just cutting shit out of the archives.”

“Impossible.” Fuyin shook her head. “The archives are written within Imbued books. Any lies written upon their pages would burn away instantly. We possess the truest records in the entirety of the Arbalest Empire.”

Noah tried not to look too excited at that. If he was honest, he didn’t give the slightest shit about the Inquisition. He’d only met two members of it that didn’t seem to be as evil as the demons they hunted, hellbent on murdering everything with a set of horns. But he did rather like the sound of getting access to records of demons that were guaranteed to be true. 

This is even better than I hoped. It could be the key to helping all the demons with me grow. Who better to learn from than your enemy whose entire cause is dedicated to understanding you well enough to destroy you?

“Understood,” Noah said. “Well, I can probably buy you some time. How heavy is the resistance you’re expecting?”

“I am unsure. I have never attempted to break into the archives before.”

“But you’re sure you can do it?”

“Yes.” 

“How?”

Fuyin cleared her throat. “I stole the key. From my superior, Tren. He was never very good at keeping track of it. He probably thinks it has been misplaced. The key is only useful to Inquisitors who know it’s true purpose, so he likely isn’t too concerned. But I know that the archives will not be without protection. 

“Huh. Well, I’ll go ahead and trust you on that,” Noah said. “Anything else I should know before we do this?”

“I’ll need at least ten minutes to look through everything,” Fuyin said. “I’ll need to review the records for the past hundred years at the very minimum. You can’t allow anything to pass you until that time is up… but it should take at least a little while before anyone notices us. We might be able to get what we need and leave before we’re noticed.”

Noah let out a snort of laughter. Moxie joined in as well. 

Fuyin’s brow furrowed. “What is funny?”

“Nothing. There’s just absolutely no way in hell that happens,” Noah said, still chuckling. “Trust me. I’ll buy you seven minutes. Try to finish what you’re doing in five. Anything beyond that is just a lucky coincidence. Don’t count on it.”

Fuyin pressed her lips together. Then, after a moment of thought, she nodded. “Very well. I will do my best. Five minutes. And remember — the passageway I create is the only way in or out of the archives. Do not lose track of where we entered or you will have no way back in the circumstance that I am defeated. Are you prepared?”

Damn. She’s making sure I’ve got a way out even if she gets killed or captured? If the other Inquisitors were half as honorable as Fuyin, I don’t think anyone would have any problems with them. 

“I am,” Noah said. “Let’s do it. Open the portal.”

“It is not a portal.” Fuyin reached for the doorhandle in front of her. “It is a door.”

“The Inquisition’s archives are located within my bathroom?” Moxie asked.

There was a soft click, and Noah realized that Fuyin had hidden a tiny golden key within her palm. She’d inserted it into the knob of the bathroom door. The Inquisitor glanced back at them, then looked back to the door. 

She twisted the handle. 

The door swung open, but it wasn’t the bathroom that waited before them. 

It was a massive library. 

The smell of dust and parchment slammed into Noah like a physical blow. This room was ancient. Massive shelves loomed before him in a maze of books that reached up to the enormous, domed ceiling far above. Even saying that there were thousands of books would have been an understatement. It was the biggest library that Noah had ever seen. 

“Holy shit,” Noah breathed.

Fuyin held a finger to her lips. Then she stepped into the library. Noah exchanged a quiet nod with Moxie. They didn’t have to say anything. She’d watch over this end of the exit and make sure nothing went wrong. 

Noah followed Fuyin into the library, trying not to stare too hard at the towers of books rising up all around him. Grim shuddered on his back. The grimoire was probably in heaven. Noah elbowed it slightly. 

Don’t make a scene.

“Where do we start? Do we have to go deeper or get through some fancy traps or something?” Noah whispered. He almost felt like he’d stepped back into the maze of the Spilling Grounds. 

The doorway they’d emerged through was embedded right into one of the shelves. The key stuck right out of the back of a book, emitting a faint golden glow. Fuyin quietly shut it behind them. The closed doorway left nothing but a dim outline. 

“No,” Fuyin whispered back. “We’re already in the center of the archives. What purpose would a key that forced you to go through a series of traps every time you wished to review some records have? It would be far too inconvenient.”

“I have to agree,” a brassy voice said from far above them. 

They both spun, leaping back as a thunderous crack tore through the air. Splinters of wood spun through the air as a large form carved straight down through the shelf their door was in and slammed down before them with a ground-shaking crash.

A metallic clink marked a key bouncing across the ground an instant before a heavy foot slammed down on it with a crunch. Any traces of the light that had been coming from the door evaporated with a sputtering hiss. 

Their way back was gone, but they had bigger problems than that. 

And standing before them was Tren. The enormous Rank 6 Inquisitor’s angry gaze bore into them like twin suns. 

“I have to say, I’m disappointed.” The towering man’s lips pulled into a snarl. “I had my suspicions about you, but I’d hoped I’d be proven wrong. Did you really think I wouldn’t have a spare key? That I wouldn’t notice you were suddenly a little too interested in demons? But I suspect my words are wasted. You’ve picked your side, Fuyin. And you’ve picked the wrong one.” 

Fuyin’s eyes flicked to Noah. He inclined his head slightly. The Inquisitor didn’t say a word. She just turned on her heel and sprinted in the opposite direction as fast as she could.

Five minutes.

Tren sneered down at Noah. “Still here? I was expecting a chase. Do you really think you can stand in my way?”

“Well, that depends. Do you mind sitting around for a few minutes and doing nothing?” Noah asked, his bow and violin snapping into being in his hands. “Hell, I’ll give you a chance right now. We can talk this out. I can explain why you’re fighting for the wrong side and we can happily part as friends. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

The inquisitor let out a bark of cold laughter. He clapped his hands together and blood-red flame erupted across his fists, burning with such intensity that Noah could feel it from several feet away. 

“You’re a bug in my path. I would say I’d enjoy this — but I don’t think I’ll even notice you,” Tren rumbled. “There won’t be anything left of you when I’m done, scum.”

He blurred into motion. 

Noah’s bow danced across the strings of his violin. 

Tren’s fist slammed into a rippling wall of translucent red energy — and ground to a complete halt. Noah didn’t even budge from his spot. Arcs of electric red energy coiled around his body as if dancing to the tune twisting up from his violin. 

Surprise flickered over Tren’s face. The large man hadn’t been expecting Noah to block a physical blow like that. It seemed he hadn’t seen Chaos magic before. 

“What is this?” Tren snarled, driving another fist into the rippling barrier and shattering it in a rain of shimmering red fragments. “Do you really think you can delay me with a toy?”

The music rising up from Noah’s violin intensified as his hands moved faster still. He couldn’t afford a single mistake. Tren was a powerful Rank 6 — and he wasn’t going all out yet. But none of that changed anything. Noah had promised Fuyin five minutes, and that was what she was going to get.

I have to keep his attention and make sure he doesn’t realize that Fuyin is the one he’s got to go after. This is what Garina’s training was for. 

“Well, nobody can say I didn’t try to be nice. And… delay you?” A cold grin split Noah’s lips as energy poured into the song building around him. “No. My intentions are the same as yours. I plan to kill you.”