Integrating Nuts (Patreon)

Saturdays are supposed to be movie and game nights.  One weekend, it’s movie night, chosen by the guys.  Next weekend, game night – either board or video game.  Third weekend, movie night, chosen by the girls.  Fourth night – RPG.  Fourth night is always in Geoffrey’s apartment.  He’s the DM and no way is he hauling all his shit around.

Now, some of us have actual social lives and have dates on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons.  Well, some of them I should say, as I don’t have that complication.  There’ve been a few times I thought a lady was interested, but she was just being nice, so way to go, creepy boy.  My friends swear there’ve been times a girl was interested in me and I just missed the clues.  Funny how they never said anything when she was still around.  They’d never waited less than a week to mention ‘it was soooo obvious she was into you man’.

Ok, granted, the girls in our group phrased that a bit differently, but the meaning was the same.  And yes, occasionally, two people in the group would date.  Geoffrey and Fiona were dating when we all got together, and still are.  Billy mentioned once, when drunk, that it would be real awkward for the rest of us if they ever broke up.  Honestly, one, if they ever did, it would likely be amicable because that’s just the kind of people they are, and two – I think I saw Geoff ring shopping a month ago. Some folks may say that college is too young for that, but they haven’t seen Geoff and Fiona together.  Even when they fight, it’s like they’re both pulling in the same direction.  And they still manage not to be disgusting about it either.

Now if anyone started dating outside the group, we had a firm rule they were not allowed to bring the new person to RPG night unless they’d been together for a minimum of three months.  It used to be six weeks, but we learned our lesson After Henry dated this strawberry blonde.  Don’t remember her name, but he got an up close and personal lesson in never stick your dick in crazy.  And we extended the ‘time in dating’ duration before joining RPG night.  Movie nights were fine, as long as it wasn’t the first date.

But I digress.

This Saturday afternoon, Fiona’s little sister Mindy was struggling in calculus.  Geoff was good with numbers, but I was the actual math star.  Which meant instead of my usual pre-game lunch with Kelly, Fiona, and Geoff, I was at a table around the bar section of the restaurant with Mindy, her textbook, and a plate of bacon cheese fries.

Mindy was attentive.  To be fair, volumes of revolution were tough to get if you weren’t a visual-spatial learner.  The disk-washer technique and the shell technique were completely different but knowing when to use which one ... was obvious if you got it, and not so much if you didn’t.  Explaining and sketching that difference took most of our time.  But she did finally get it.

Mindy was even more smiley after the lightbulb clicked on.  She played with her hair more and her voice got softer.  She also reached out to touch my hand.  I carefully pulled it back.  Fiona was watching after all.  She, Geoff and Kelly got a table outside the bar area that was elevated and could see us as we worked.  Hell, I didn’t blame her a bit.  But I sure didn’t want her thinking I was trying something with her little sister.

I managed to wrap up the lesson and excuse myself without being rude.  Mindy got up to leave, stopping first to say goodbye to Fiona.  I headed off to the men’s room to drain the three Dr Peppers I’d had.

Fiona was just leaving as I got to the table. Geoff was nowhere to be seen.  Kelly was still there though.  She looked … not angry, but … disturbed?  Upset?  Plus, there was a beer bottle in front of her with the neck broken off, and shards on the table.

“Are you ok, Kel?”

She didn’t even react to my question.  I gingerly took a seat opposite her.  Kelly was a good friend.  If something was bothering her, I wanted to know.  Even if I couldn’t fix the problem, at least I could listen.  Not the first time she’d poured her heart out to me.  Although, usually she preferred to do this with me sitting on her bed, my legs spread so she got to sit on her floor with her back to me while I massaged her scalp and shoulders.

I knew better than to ask a second time, so I just waited as she internally debated whether to tell me anything, or how to say it.

“I have to talk about something.  I have deep feelings for … for … peanuts.”

“Peanuts?”  I’m confused, and it shows on my face.  I have no idea why she’s confessing, to me of all people, that she gets strongly emotional over peanuts.  I don’t get it.  I look down at her bottle.  The shards on the table.  Why the hell would she have such strong emotions over a snack?

Then lightbulbs flashed in my head like a paparazzi brigade.  The pause.  She paused to change the object of the feelings.  And she’d just been talking with Fiona, our resident relationship whisperer.  And she’d been looking straight at me.  After I’d been talking with Lizzy.

Damn.  Um.  Shit, what the hell do I say?  I’m not ready to be some girl’s guy.  I suck at people stuff.  Women don’t like me, which makes it easy since I have no idea how to handle a woman.  Well, not that easy, it’s lonely as hell.  And would my brain please stop playing ‘How to Handle a Woman’ from the Camelot soundtrack please?  Not fucking helping!

Shit, I better say something quick.  Or do something.  This is getting awkward.  I … I ... damn it! Oh!

I snag the peanut basket with one finger and drag it closer.  Pulling one out, I crack the shell, separating the two halves cleanly.  With two fingers, I grasp one peanut out, then extend my hand towards her.  The width of the table and my reach fortunately work out so I can place the nut against her lips.

Time stretches.  Did I wait too long?  Did I miss read her meaning?  Oh, fuck.

Kelly’s lips part, taking in the nut and clasping on my fingertip.  Then she gives my finger a kiss as I finally think to pull it back.

Slowly, she begins chewing the morsel.  She takes her time.  When she finishes, I tentatively offer her the second, in the same manner.  This time, a small smile forms on her lips as my fingers approach.  A smile which opens before the treat reaches her.  Her lips close, around my fingertips.  My instinct is to pull away quickly, that I’ve been too familiar, gone too far.  But the look in her eyes stays my reaction.  Kelly lightly sucks on my fingers, then pulls her mouth away.

Oh.

My.

God.

My heart is pounding.  Fuuuuuck.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.  This is happening!  Kelly is coming on to me! I’m catching her cues!  She likes the way I’m responding!

Greatest Night Ever!

We uh, we skipped RPG night.  The others were ticked.  Until they found out why.