KRAZY KRAGNAR'S RULES OF ADVENTURING, 50-59 (Patreon)

I don't often share this many of Krazy Kragnar's 256 "Rules of Adventuring" all at once, and never before all in the same place-- but for paying Patrons I thought I'd make an exception!

So, here are rules 50-59, many of which have never been shared publicly before!

RULE 50.NEVER FORGET THAT SOMEONE TELLING YOU THE TRUTH ONCE IS NO GUARANTEE THEY WON’T LIE LATER.Yes, even your friend. Even your patron. In many documented cases, even your GOD will lie... from a certain point of view. Don't get paranoid… but don’t be gullible.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 51.IF IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT’S AN ILLUSION.The world sucks. People suck. Destiny sucks. Basically, everything sucks. So, if something seems entirely suck-free, it’s actually a vampire demon dragon luring you into a false sense of security.If life was good, you wouldn’t have become an adventurer.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 52.JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ISN’T LYING DOESN’T MEAN YOU'LL HEAR THE TRUTH.There are lots of ways this can happen. It could be accurate but a lie of omission (see rule 35). Someone could be altering what you actually hear. Your own biases might make you misinterpret facts. Or, you could be listening to an uninformed idiot who’s honestly telling you the stupid thing they believe.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 53. DON’T FIGHT PEOPLE YOU CAN FOOL.Defeating a foe is great. Tricking a foe to enthusiastically help you through enchantment, bribery, or bamboozlement is SO much more efficient. And? Funnier.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 54.THE MORE DANGEROUS THE REGION, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS ANY INNOCENT IN NEED OF HELP YOU ENCOUNTER IS ACTUALLY A DEMONIC UNDEAD DOPPLEGANGER DRAGON.Most adventurers have caught on to comely prisoners in vampire castles being ringers, but the same applies to wounded baby unicorns and sole survivors of previous adventuring parties. (See Rule 51.)--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 55.DON’T JUST LOOK AT THE SHINY THINGS.There’s nothing wrong with letting the villain monologue. It can be a great information-gathering tool. But DO make sure their monologue isn’t a distraction designed to allow their ninja-necromancer-death-priest-berserkers to surround you. --Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 56.THE BIG LIE WORKS. EXCEPT AGAINST PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU PERSONALLY.Sapient creatures are often suspicious of small altered details, but seem hard-wired to assume no one would try to pass off a huge outrageous whopper of a lie. Except people who changed your diaper, wiped your snot nose, and saw you get drunk in adventure college. They know just how full of gloosh-glakka you can be.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 57.CHECKING FOR TRAPS EVERY 5 FEET IS ITS OWN TRAP. NOT CHECKING FOR TRAPS OFTEN ENOUGH IS ALSO A TRAP.I don’t know. Check casual.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 58.KNOW IF YOUR PROCUREMENT EXPERT IS GOOD AT FINDING TRAPS.It’s also useful to know if they are good at TELLING you about traps.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

RULE 59.IF NO ONE IN YOUR PARTY IS GOOD AT FINDING TRAPS, HAVE THE TOUGHEST, MOST HEAVILY ARMORED, MOST MENTALLY STABLE ALLY GO FIRST.Also, if no one in your party is good at finding traps, avoid being thought of as the toughest, most heavily armored, most mentally stable member of your party.--Krazy Kragnar's Rules of Adventuring.

ADDENDUM 59A.Alternatively, have the most expendable or temporary ally go first. Undead and summoned creatures are great at this.