Storytime: Free Pizza at the Union (Patreon)

In the 90s, I worked briefly on the OU Student Union janitorial crew, mostly in the food court.

One day, after everything closed, I heard a call for help from the kitchen of the pizza place.

Not seeing anyone, I went into the back of the restaurant (a violation of Union policy), and found the new manager stuck in the ceiling.

It was her first Christmas season, and the previous manager had told her decorations where in a crawlspace above the kitchen. The note said all she had to do was get their ladder, climb up, and carry boxes down.

The problem, she was 5'2". The previous manager was about 6'.

So she had crawled up just fine, but now the gap between the ceiling and the very top of the ladder was too far for her to reach without dangling in a way that left her no control. She was (rightly) worried she might kick the ladder over. Also, it was a violation of corporate store policy, and of the store's lease with the Union, to store things in that crawlspace.

She knew me (what can I say, I like pizza) and asked if I could get her down... somehow. One option was to get the entire janitorial crew, but she and I were both in technical violation of Union policies, so we both preferred not.

So, first, I had her pass down decorations. Mission objectives should be kept in mind.

That accomplished, I climbed the ladder and told her to stick her legs over. I would grab her ankles, and guide her feet to the top of the ladder.

She asked if I was sure that would work, and I was. And then, she just... did it. Hopped halfway out without hesitation. She dangled for a sec. Then, I took her ankles and guided them to the top step. Then I got out of her way, because that was all the help she needed.

She thanked me, and told me to come by for lunch the next day. She also changed her store to follow all policies, including storage.

And that's how I got free pizza for the rest of my time working on the OU Union janitorial staff.

The manager got her degree and left shortly before I did, but her successor just kept feeding me free pizza. I used to think I liked pizza so much I could happily eat it every day.

...

Turns out yes, I can. Happily.