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On Wings of Steel - Chapter 04 & 05 (Patreon)

Published:
2018-06-03 18:49:54
Imported:
2026-06

Content

At last! It's wasn't easy writing these two chapters but I'm finally done.

You might notice by reading them that I'm starting to take the setting away both from canon and from fanon. I'm trying to rewrite the Sekirei-verse not just to fit it into the Nasuverse, but as its standalone story.

Let's face it. Sekirei's plot wasn't that great and the characters were cardboard-cut, barely above archetypes. I'm trying to avoid that here, but that's basically making characters from scratch.

Not a walk in the park.

In any event, here goes nothing. 

Chapter 04 

Chapter 05 -EDIT: Right version is up (Karasuba description added)

Let me know what you think in the comments.

Comments

Anonymous

Very good. Yeah, I completely agree with you about the characters in sekerei.

WardenMyst

Gah! Why must you toy with my heartstrings so, Neo! Why? Dramatics aside, I very much enjoyed the chapters. Seeing a look into Broken!Shirou's mind is nice and allows us to have even more feels for him. I can't wait to see where you take this. I do agree that the characterization and plot from Sekirei were meh at best, but it means yu have even more room to build and expand in your usual style. Keep up the amazing work!

Eternity Smut

"Are you suggesting that there is another group with better resources than ours, capable not only to operate on home ground without our notice but also to track a missing Sekirei faster than us?" No sir! It's laughable to believe that there's a organization that's thousands of years older than MBI has totally-science tech that rivals and surpass that of Serikei tech and rules the world from behind. What conspiracy are people going about? ;D

LordMarksman

Loved the chapters but I have to bring this up. Is it just me or does anyone else find it weird to see Shirou NOT cooking. I know how understandably broken he is by all this but the fact he isn't cooking is jarring me a lot more than I thought it would. Granted he had no one to cook for a long time anyway I hope Shirou can get more in touch who he used to be in the future as well as quit smoking. I have nothing against smokers but he's going to need his cardio and lung capacity soon enough when the fighting starts probably and he is a sword wielder not gun user so cardio is key. Anyway with what is both implied and how things are going I REALLY want to see the next chapters so much its killing me lol. Keep up the good work Neo:)

ISupportYourCreativeLiberties

Oh man, I just got the hint about who Shirou resembles. Him meeting Miya is going to be a goddamn trainwreck.

Anonymous

Methinks Karasuba and Yume had a run in with the Magus Killer

Eternity Smut

It'd be really fucked up if Yume went FATE on Shirou, and Shirou just instinctively tough she was a threat and just reflexively capped that bitch lol A really big accident and misunderstanding because current Shirou is broken and if poked...he's a dangerous beast.

Anonymous

I couldn't help but notice you left out the description of Karasuba. Planning to re-edit these when you release them for the mundane tier?

neoalfa
>>12827272

I'm a complete asshat! I published the wrong version. I'm reuploading the complete version later today once I return home. Sorry about the mishap.