Pacing and concerns regarding the last sex scene (Patreon)

Since we’re two months away from the first (out of two) ending in the Normal branch, and since some people have voiced disappointment with the way the last sex scene ended in V0.4.0, I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk briefly about pacing and about the reason why some might feel that aspects of the story might be a bit rushed.

This post is separated into two parts. The first part is mostly generic while the other part specifically talks about the issue concerning the last sex scene in V0.4.0. The reason I’m separating the two is that the second part contains spoilers for people who haven’t played the update yet or only play Harry’s perspective.

Pacing

I won’t lie, I feel like I bit more than I can chew. At first, I was under the impression that Laura’s route (with the common route) would be no more than 200k/220k words. But now with all of the endings, I’m pretty sure Laura’s route alone will be more than 300k words. That’s by far the biggest story I have ever written. And we’re not even talking about Aya’s route yet.

So yeah, somewhere along the line I started feeling the pressure a bit. Since I said I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. I can’t abandon Aya’s route because I think she deserves her story, and all the endings were already kinda planned in my head—I want to do them. It would be natural to think that working on one big project is not that big of a deal, but I think at a certain point, if it’s too big, it starts becoming risky.

First, because I don’t want to lose my focus. I don’t think that I will, but working on something for a year-and-a-half/two years can be mentally straining. Sometimes I wonder if I still have a grasp over my characters. Also, there’s the rule system, but I won’t go there since it’s kinda spoiler-ish.

Second, because I don’t know if fans will start losing interest mid-way. I’m a bit scared that after the first ending, some might decide that they’ve seen everything the game has to offer and I inevitably lose their support. I’m very fortunate right now. I’ve never had so many people supporting me. And so I mostly write in a way now that doesn’t really take into consideration my budget anymore.  But since I’ve never been in such a position, I don’t know if the success is only temporary, and for how long people are ready to give me their support. The last thing I want is to put the project in jeopardy because I am too ambitious.

All of this is kind of a preface to say that the pacing might have been affected in one way or another without my wanting to. I personally believe that it isn’t the case, but I know some of you would like the story to keep going from the point we’re at and for a long time still, but the truth of the matter is we’re 35k~ words from the first ending. If there weren’t so many endings, or if Aya’s route didn’t exist, then the part where Laura is corrupted could have lasted longer. But since I’m also a fan of the genre, I write what interests me, and so my focus will be pointed toward one particular direction.

Still, I will reiterate what I said on other occasions, but if, for some reasons, none of the endings are satisfying to you guys (I hope that they are), I don’t mind adding another branch/alternative after the fact. But I really need to concentrate on finishing every branch/route first.

I know those aren’t excuses. They aren’t meant to be. I just want to explain where my head’s at and why some sacrifices might have to be made. If the game ends up being bad, I’ll just own it. Those are just some concerns that I wanted to share before we really start delving in the endings, as I know some will be disappointed.

Issue with the last sex scene (V0.4.0 spoiler)

Which brings us to the issue some of you had with the last sex scene. To be more precise, the raw sex being mostly skipped. For those of you who might not know what I’m talking about, I received a lot of comments pointing out the fact that people were really looking forward to the first raw sex between Laura and Luca, and they were inevitably let down when they saw the scene unfold (a fade to black followed by the aftermath of the raw sex).

The personal conclusion that I came to while thinking about it for the past few days is that I was wrong in the way I handled the scene. I had my reasons, obviously, but they weren’t good enough. I didn’t think it through as much as I should have.

It’s been quite a few months since I wrote that scene, but I remember thinking that we needed to have the first raw sex at that moment, but the problem was that Laura was still not corrupted enough for her to give up on the rule of her own volition (make a mistake that she could have kinda avoided). Which made the scene really difficult to tackle. There’s still one week to the rule system, so if Laura loses that rule (condom), she has no longer anything to lose. And if she has nothing to lose, and isn’t corrupted enough, she just won’t play the game anymore.

And so I thought the element of surprise and the contrast between her words (bravado) and what ends up happening (cum dripping out of her pussy) would be a good shocking factor that would enter the sphere of what I personally see as NTR (hopelessness). The ‘real’ raw sex could then appear later on (when she ends up falling).

There was also a fear (and it’s a fear that’s always present whenever I write a sex scene) that I was overstaying my welcome. There were two different sex scenes back to back (long ones at that), and so I feared that it was stretching out too long and the reader might need time to breathe.

It might also have been lazy writing. Sometimes meaningful sex scenes are difficult to portray, and so maybe I gave myself all kinds of excuses to be lazy.

In any case, now the question is: what will I do about it?

The events won’t change. That’s something I’m adamant about. I won’t change my writing because some people don’t like where it’s going. Which means the raw sex is still there. It will be because Luca wanted to pump another load and he simply didn’t have any condom left at his disposal. It also means that Laura will have lost her consciousness when the raw sex happened.

BUT I will (in fact, I already have) write the events (sex) leading to the raw sex, as well as the raw sex itself. I don’t know how satisfying it will be—Laura will still be unconscious after all, and my head is filled with Aya right now—but since it’s adding something that exists in the universe anyway, I don’t mind doing it. If people were trying to pressure me to change the story, I would probably not have done it. But since it’s a small change like adding a scene, and I find myself believing I didn’t do a good enough job, then I don’t really mind. It’s ultimately for the best of the project.

Anyway, it’s become quite a long-winded post. Sorry about that. And it might have sounded like rambling too. I don’t know if I will be able to add the scene in next month’s update—it kinda messes with my plans a bit with my artists and all—but I’ll add it as soon as I can. Hopefully it’s not another disappointment.