New Pilot Chapter - The Chaotic Traveler (Rip-off Jumpchain) (Patreon)

AN: To returning readers of this story, if you have questions, I will likely answer them at the end.

This chapter does not count toward the monthly quota

Beta’d by Plum

Chapter 1: Common Sense Sold Separately

Jin regained consciousness slowly, his eyes fluttering open to the sight of a wooden ceiling. 'Did I arrive?’

He sat up and found himself in a bed in a tavern-style room lit by candlelight.

At least it wasn’t the dark, dreary warehouse he'd woken up in originally.

Looking down, Jin found himself dressed in a simple button-down shirt and jeans. ‘Was I wearing that before?’

His time in the warehouse was oddly blurry when it came to what his body looked like. 'Did I even have a real body in there? Zelretch said the warehouse is inside of my soul.'

The ancient multiversal vampire said a lot of things that flew over Jin’s head.

With no answer, Jin turned to the nightstand at his side, where an open envelope lay with an eye-catching insignia, the last memory of his time in the warehouse coming to the fore. ‘Is that what I think it is?’

The lion, eagle, badger, and snake were iconic, and Jin reached for the letter with an odd sense of wonder and read the words carefully.

[Mr. Mamphy.

Your test results have come back.

You have Testicular Toad Warts.

Please come to St. Mungo’s at your earliest convenience to have them removed.

Please remember to use protection.]

‘…’

His wonder died a horrible death, and Jin immediately hopped off the bed with a shiver of disgust. ‘I need a new room.’

Jin calmly placed the letter inside the lamp, where it shriveled, burst into flames, and turned to ash.

Only after confirming its destruction down to the last shred did he turn to the nightstand and lift the second letter, whose insignia had been poking out directly beneath the first.

[HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Dear Mr. Fluff.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as an assistant groundskeeper at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We expect a hectic year and understand your difficulties. Please arrive by Floo no later than August 30th, 1994, to meet with our head groundskeeper.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress.]

“It’s real.” Jin whispered, his eyes sparkling at either the truth before him or the extremely elaborate joke someone was playing on him.

With a deep breath to center himself, he focused back on the letter. 'An assistant groundskeeper? I'm Hagrid's assistant?' He scratched his head at the difference between what he expected and what he was seeing. ‘What happened to the Hogwarts student fantasy?'

He reread the letter a dozen times, then sighed and put it down. 'Alright, it's not that bad. On second thought, being a student would just be a pain.'

It's not as if Jin wanted to have to attend classes and take tests every week.

'I’m really here in 1994, the year of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.’ Jin tried to rationalize how he even inserted into the scenario. ‘I guess with everything that had to happen in the background for all three events, Hagrid alone was a bit much to ask for. So, they hired extra help this year, and I'm that extra help.’ He nodded to himself. ‘Ok, that much makes sense. But why is my last name Fluff?'

Jin's gaze fell to the simple metallic watch on his wrist, visible only to him. He tapped the surface, and a hologram projected from it. 

[World Information:

Current World: Harry Potter

Time left in Current World: 364 days, 23:27:19

Randomized Insertion Setting: Jin Fluff was orphaned by a pair of dark wizards in his youth. A mistake during a sacrificial ritual created an explosion that killed his captors and changed Jin in ways unseen by the healers who examined him.

His body, infused with various magical reagents, gained the passive magic-resistant skin of a giant, but at the cost of draining his mana core to fuel the new ability, leaving him unable to cast magic.

Once his lack of magical ability was discovered on his 11th birthday, Jin was denied access to magical education and a wand by Britain's Xenophobic culture. With no foreign government willing to fund his future, Jin was forced to take a full-time job overseas as an apprentice handler for magical beasts.

Over the years, Jin's mana core grew large enough from the stress of supporting his mana-resistant skin to support external spell casting; however, he lacked a wand and formal education.

Down on his luck after returning to Great Britain in hopes of getting a wand permit only to have them dashed by corrupt bureaucracy, he applied to a rarely offered job position at Hogwarts and was shockingly approved at the turn of his 18th birthday.

Setting Warning: Insertion settings are used for steady transition through the world boundary. Deeper scans by determined individuals within said world will reveal holes in said story. Proceed with caution.]

Jin’s face grew more incredulous as he read along. ‘That’s a story all of its own.’

He went over it a few times, ignoring the warning for the moment, and focused on the important bits.

When he woke up less than ten minutes ago, he received no memories, meaning he was going to have to wing it. 'Keeping a low profile might be a good idea.’

All he knew was that his soul was saturated with Kaleidoscope mana that was acting on its own, and Zelretch pretty much slapped a magical computer on it and sent Jin on his way; whatever happened from here was entirely disconnected from the vampire.

And that computer seemed to include making a backstory to insert him into the world.

Jin couldn't say he was unhappy. 'At least it's not telling me I have to interact with people I should know but don't. It does say it's public knowledge that I have a giant's magic resistance, so does that make me a half-wizard, half-magical creature in the public's eyes or something?’

He scratched his chin in thought until he had a sudden realization. ‘Wait, do I actually have any stuff?'

Jin looked around the room again before his eyes landed on a bag by the bed, previously unseen due to his angle.

He opened it and found a sack of jingling coins, a few official-looking documents in a folder, and a small surprise. 'Is that a wand?'

It was a slightly curved, dark brown stick, approximately ten inches long, placed into a holster.

The second Jin's fingers closed around it, he gasped as he immediately felt a warmth being pulled from somewhere inside him, like heated liquid flowing through his veins, down his arm, and up into the wand within his hand.

'Holy shit.' Jin's eyes widened in surprise as he dropped the wand on the bed, immediately feeling the mana recede.

‘That was… odd.' Jin rubbed his wrist, eyeing up the stick with interest. 'Was that mana? Is that what it feels like?'

He reached for it again and felt the odd sensation repeat, almost like a rope pulling taut as the suction force snapped back. 'Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?’

Jin’s lips curved upward as he repeated the sensation every time he picked up the wand. ‘Magic, huh?’

It was one thing to see the movies behind a screen, desiring and wishing for that kind of life, and another to truly feel it, giving him a sense of joy he couldn’t shake off. ‘Who knew dying could be so interesting?’

A simple accident for Zelretch turned Jin’s life on its head, and even if he couldn't remember who he used to be, he knew enough to know he was happy to keep it this way.

Putting the wand back in its holster, Jin turned his gaze toward the folder.

Opening it, Jin was surprised to see official-looking sheets stamped by foreign magical beast farms. ‘These seem to be records of where I’ve worked.’

The documents came from various farms dealing with odd creatures that were difficult for those without magic-resistant skin to work with. 'I guess giant’s skin would have made me popular with employers.'

There was only one issue Jin could see with everything; being his complete lack of experience and knowledge of dealing with magical creatures.

And now he was being hired as Hagrid’s assistant.

Jin’s lips twitched in wry amusement. ‘This should be fun.’

Flipping through the sheets, he paused at one from the British Ministry. Most of it was a bunch of flowery crap, but the gist of it was:

[Mr. Fluff,

Your application for a wand permit has been processed. Please be patient, as the process may take up to three years to complete for adult wizards.

Have a pleasant day.]

‘Right.’ He shook his head at that. ‘Somehow, I doubt I’ll be getting that permit. Wait.’

Jin turned to the wand holster and raised a brow. ‘I guess I’m not legally allowed to have you?’

He shrugged and closed the file. ‘Not like I care what the Ministry says as long as I don’t get caught.’

Pouring the sack of coins onto the bed, Jin counted fifty gold coins stamped with dragons. 'I hope these are Galleons.'

Turning to his watch, he ran his finger around the edge and clicked a green button.

In moments, a line appeared out of thin air, cracking open like an elevator door and revealing a dark room on the other side.

Jin stuck his head in, glancing around at the familiar concrete floor, metal walls, and an otherwise empty warehouse. 'Looks like it really came with me.'

He smirked and tossed in his coin sack, file, and wand holster, leaving them on the ground as there was nowhere else to put them. 'I should probably put some shelves in here. Maybe some furniture to lighten it up?'

Stepping back out, Jin looked over the settings on his watch and found a slider icon. Playing with it could shrink or enlarge the doorway. The largest was a bit bigger than his body size. The smallest was a hand-sized square. 'Maybe I should carry around a bag and just pretend to reach in while opening a small doorway?'

Flipping through the watch, he found an inventory icon and saw the added items listed under it.

Clicking on one, Jin found he could reach in and grab the item as if it were only inches away. ‘Convenient.’

When he was done, he looked around once more and froze in front of a small mirror atop a desk. 'Is that… me?’

Jin had been oddly calm since he woke up, analyzing his situation with quiet scrutiny, taking each new thing at face value, and moving on.

But seeing himself finally gave him pause.

Jin couldn't recall what he once looked like, but the person in the mirror felt both strangely foreign and familiar.

An angular face, messy brown hair, and amber-colored eyes stared back at him.

Traveling south, he looked over his body and felt oddly normal. ‘I can’t even say what I used to look like.’

He stood around six feet tall, with broad shoulders and a figure characterized by a larger chest and a thinner waist.

It wasn't supernatural; he looked human, just on the edge of fit at the end of puberty, reaching adulthood.

He hopped up and down a bit to get a feel for his current size. ‘I guess this is what Zelretch meant by the first world shaping my body. That means the wizard magic debuff should have applied as well. I might want to think of a way around that.’

Until the Kaleidoscope mana in his soul ran out, he would keep adopting pieces of each world he traveled to, using them to fill in the gaps of his fractured soul, and that came with upsides and downsides.

Upsides like gaining a new body with magic.

Downsides like Wizarding Magic causing a minor debuff to common sense.

‘I’ll deal with what I can.’ Jin shrugged and tapped his cheeks to focus on his next steps. ‘Let’s see, it’s July 30th according to the timer on my watch, meaning I have a month before I have to be at Hogwarts.’ His face quirked in humor. ‘That's so weird to say, knowing it’s a real thing.’

Jin couldn't help but chuckle.

‘I’ve got a month to figure everything out and get a handle on my abilities.’ He pinched his chin in thought, feeling the slight stubble there. ‘I have fifty galleons. I need to see the average cost of things and get my hands on books to put my perks to the test.'

Mentally going over the perks he chose, Jin counted them off. ‘Animagus, Apparation, Arithmancer, Expanded Reserves, Giant’s Skin, Mana Scan, Occlumens.’

While it may have felt like a lot, Jin knew he had gained them at the expense of how many spells he could use once he left the current world.

He stared down at his wrist, where six diamond-shaped tattoo marks faded into view, glowing bright red as they connected to his soul. Each was a slot for a spell he could carry out of this world; a stopgap until his soul fully healed and the limit came off entirely.

Until then, he had to rely on his perks and spell slots to get him through his journey.

The only problem at the moment was that Jin didn’t know how to use any of his perks.

He tried to think of a few of them yet felt nothing.

‘How exactly am I supposed to use any of it?’ Jin scratched the back of his head in confusion. ‘It seems simple in concept, but how does one teleport or shift into an animal? I can understand Arithmancer wouldn’t come into play until I have some books, but the others should be simpler, right?’

He tried to bring up Mana Scan, aimed at the nearby lamp, squinted to see more, but nothing happened except that he looked constipated. 'Yeah, this isn't going to work. I need books. I could try asking someone, but I'd rather not ask the wrong thing.'

Jin ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.

'On the plus side, thinking about this world isn't hurting my head anymore.' Jin wondered if that was his Occlumens perk at work, or maybe something to do with having an actual body now. ‘I could barely think back in the warehouse.’

 Still, that was a topic for another time.

'Wait, I’m in the most commonly used world in fiction.’ A grin crossed his lips. ‘What about clichés?'

Even if his memories were fractured, some things still pulled through.

Jin tried to recall anything that could help, but the first thought that came to mind was Gringotts. 'The usual cliché is having an ancient bloodline, right? It would be cool to be a secret Black family member or something; my background is just what anyone who looks into me would find out. It didn’t say who my birth parents were, if I had any.’

He cackled at the thought of what he might find.

With his first goal in mind, Jin nodded and stepped out of his starting room, ready to take on the world one step at a time.

He was sure common sense was a debuff he could get around.

00000

Gringotts was as massive as imagined. Jin marveled at the giant marble building, easily visible from the entrance to Diagon Alley due to its size.

He followed another wizard into the alley from the pub-slash-inn he woke up in, The Leaky Cauldron, and stepped into the world of magic, locking onto the bank in the distance.

It was a work of artistic beauty, imposing, steady, and cold, yet it spoke of wealth without a word.

Sweat rolled down Jin’s cheek as the summer sun beat down on him, but he didn't mind gawking like a tourist as he climbed the stairs to the iconic building.

The goblins standing guard were next to catch his attention; diminutive magical creatures in gleaming armor, standing at attention on either side of the doors with the same bored yet sharp countenance as the British Queen's Guard. 

A sole guard’s eyes swung Jin’s way as he walked past, narrowing in confusion as it saw something Jin couldn’t, yet for some unknown reason, Jin found himself staring back with an annoyance that felt foreign, like there was a sixth sense in the back of his mind that peeked open an eye.

Whatever it was, it lasted seconds as Jin's feet didn't stop, and much to his surprise, the Goblin actually grunted and gave him a slight nod before looking away.

The moment passed, leaving Jin confused as the feeling of annoyance vanished. ‘What was that?’

His confusion didn’t last long, as upon entering, Jin was immediately hit with refreshing cool air, banishing the intense summer heat and suitably distracting him. 'If that was a ward, I need to learn how to make one.’

The interior was quiet, save for the dull stamps and the scratching of writing on parchment.

Jin felt as though he had stepped into a mausoleum rather than a bank.

He joined the line, quickly approached a teller, and had his first exchange with a magical species in both of his lives.

The Goblin looked him in the eyes with its pure black pupils.

"What do you want?" The Goblin practically sneered, whatever respect the door guard gave him absent from the busy banker.

“To know myself.” The mighty Jin replied.

He couldn’t help feeling like a D&D character having to unlock the hidden dialogue.

“This is a bank.” The Goblin deadpanned.

“I wish for special services.” Jin insisted.

The Goblin gave him a cold stare and pulled out a pamphlet. “1 galleon.”

Jin placed the coin on the counter and slid it over.

Both males exchanged their trade without breaking eye contact.

Only then, with the pamphlet in hand, did Jin look at it and frown. "This is a map."

The Goblin grinned. "Wonderful observation. Are you done wasting my time?"

“I asked for services.” Jin felt that foreign annoyance bubble up again.

“I told you this is a bank; we deal with money here.” The Goblin played with the easy galleon he made.

“Then what did I just pay for?” He withheld a growl.

“A map to the nearest clinic or brothel. Whichever one you’re seeking." The Goblin shooed him away and returned to his work. “Now get lost before I call security.”

Jin gritted his teeth and put another coin on the counter. “I want an inheritance test.”

The Goblin didn't even look up as he sighed. "Another fool chasing fame. Five galleons.”

Jin put the money down as the teller waved to a runner. “Follow him.”

~ Twenty minutes later ~

"Feel free to stop by if you want to waste more money." The bank door slammed shut behind him.

Sitting down on the marble steps with his hair falling over his cheeks, Jin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. ‘Ok, that was stupid. I got way too into treating this like a joke.’

He was down six galleons and had nothing to show for it.

‘Fucking common sense.’ He unconsciously growled in annoyance and didn’t notice how a few pedestrians flinched at the sound, giving him a wide berth as they moved around his seated form. ‘Am I that mentally screwed up, or is this debuff fucking with me?’

Jin took a breath and took out the map. 'No use sulking over lost gold. At least I know where to go now. Gringotts was easy enough to find thanks to its size, but why are there no street signs? There's half a dozen extra roads besides Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley.'

His eyes homed in on the name of a second-hand bookstore. 'Time to try studying instead of clichés. Novel concept.'

Chapter End.

AN: Hope you enjoyed the new start for this story!

To returning readers:

I am NOT changing the plot/romance of this story, I'm keeping most of everything the same outside of how it starts.

The warehouse stuff still happened, but its abbreviated here for a better kickstart into the story rather than spending 10K words getting into the setup before it even starts. Honestly, idk what I was smoking back then. Zelretch doesn't even appear throughout book 1.

Basically, this story is getting the same treatment as The Tiger's Bourbon and A Merchant's Odyssey, I'll be slowly (depending on Poll) editing up the chapters in order to fix grammar/mistakes/flow and to get the story back online in my brain - I forget shit when I stop writing a story for a while.