The Ouroboros Potioneer - Book 2: Chapter 24 - Moonshine 101 (Patreon)

AN: First chapter of November.

Beta Read by Plum.

Book 2: My Life With An S&M Maid Teacher

Chapter 24: Moonshine 101.

He was floating.

Spinning.

Paralyzed.

Aware.

Dante stared out, thoughts adrift, taking in the endless void.

Like a pebble floating in the vast reaches of space, his body cold, the air frozen in his lungs, yet his mind active and eyes searching.

‘What is this?’

He spun slowly, witnessing countless pebbles spread around like an asteroid belt, each one a frozen body much like his own.

Yet unlike him, most were dull. Not dead, yet not alive.

‘Where is this?’

His line of sight shifted, angling up at all the eyes glancing down from far above, each the size of a giant.

Cold. Cruel. Calculating. Calm. Curious.

‘Who are they?’

Each gaze gave off a completely different feeling, one feeling quite similar to Gluttony in a sense, but far… more.

As he turned, Dante focused on one that gave him a sense of familiarity, a closer look filling his mind with endless galaxies of glowing stars.

The longer he looked, the more a weight settled on his mind.

An ocean of stars washed over him, and once more Dante saw that gate.

Tall, imposing, grand.

Yet what he saw was not the endlessly floating bodies, but a single man standing at the gate's base.

Cloaked in black, midnight locks framing a pale face with deep eye bags. A man looked up at the five giant gazes, his mouth opening as something distant was spoken.

“You know…. Need to…. To defeat….”

Dante didn’t know how he understood the faint words, but he knew the language wasn’t his own.

One giant eye blinked, and Dante felt his soul shiver at an otherworldly sound.

It was upset.

A second blinked, and a grunt that burned at his essence reverberated.

It was willing.

Before a third could shred at him, the eye filled with galaxies shifted toward him and winked.

A shooting star flashed and wiped away the vision, leaving a weary Dante floating once more through the void.

Unable to escape this endless vision that haunted him.

But he was not alone.

Clinking chains rang in his ears, a gentle force tugged at his waist, and the void rapidly faded away as Dante rose to the surface of a seemingly endless ocean.

The void bled away.

‘Warm.’

Dante was surrounded by warmth, snuggled in from all sides.

‘Soft.’

He shook his head, burrowing his face into the wonderful feeling.

‘Earth.’

His nose took in that heady scent, sweet as if after a morning rain.

Dante slowly cracked open blurry green eyes, tilted his head up, and found another gaze staring down at him in a mimicry of his dreams.

Except this time, they were sapphire blue, holding only devotion and love.

“Good morning, Master.” Virgo softly whispered, the maid’s face inches from his own.

“Mn.” Dante let out a sound and returned his face to his warm, soft nest. "Thanks.”

What he was thanking her for needed no elaboration, their bond flaring with his natural faith and trust in her.

Virgo's lips curved up, then pressed into Dante's forehead. "Always."

The two stayed in their blissful warmth for a moment before Dante grudgingly asked without looking up. “How long?”

A giggle sounded in his ears. “Fourteen hours have passed.”

The two lay intertwined on their sides, Virgo's legs wrapped around his waist, Dante's face buried in her chest.

Virgo leaned down, arms secured around his head to hold him close. “We should rise soon.”

A groan left Dante’s lips, his fingers digging into the flesh of his favorite handhold which he’d latched onto in his sleep and refused to let go. “Don’t wanna.”

Virgo breathed deeply through her nose, biting her lip with a hiss of pleasure. “Master… we are not alone.”

Dante's muscles tensed as he turned slightly, cracking one eye open to look around the lounge.

A snore caught his attention, drawing his gaze to the sloppily sleeping mutt; the two blondes were nowhere to be seen.

His shoulders slowly relaxed as he let his caution lower a notch.

“Punishment.” Dante declared, returning to nuzzling his claimed territory.

“Oh~?” Virgo shifted with another giggle, this one tracing her interest. “For whom?”

Dante’s cheek brushed up against a hardened point beneath her clothes.

"Both." He chomped down on the tempting target like a snake play-biting to test for food. "Restrained."

Virgo’s laughter deepened, a throaty sound rumbling in her chest that she fought to keep within.

Her legs tightened around his waist, pressing their cores together with desire.

"What a cruel master." Virgo shuddered at his actions, pleasure ringing across their bond for many reasons as she spoke in a far more serious tone. “We should return to your training soon, Student.”

Dante's lips curled, his gaze rising in amused agreement to meet hers.

Her eyes spoke of sin.

They had been far too restrained since leaving Aurora’s Throat, and it was beginning to grate on both of them, even with the few upgrades to their relationship.

Dante's neck stretched up, his lips meeting hers as they breathed each other in.

“You taste good.” Dante whispered against her, his meaning doubled with his own desire.

Virgo responded by tightening her hold, the heat within her only rising with need.

Her nails scraped along his scalp, his teeth trailed the pulse point along her neck.

Electricity sparked between them, but just as the maid was about to drag them straight into the building's foundation for some privacy, the lounge doors were pushed open.

"Are they really still sleeping?" Jenny's voice rang with exasperation as the beach-blonde entered with a tray of coffee cups.

“Nah, those degenerates are up.” Laxus’s pointed voice hit Dante’s couch, his hands full with bags.

Dante responded maturely, releasing his glorious handhold with one hand, raising a middle finger high, then latching right back on as if he were a rock climber stuck a thousand meters in the air.

A moan of shameless pleasure echoed from Virgo.

"Like I said." Laxus rolled his eyes at the two and walked up to the bar to drop the bags, the scent of food spreading through the lounge. “Degenerates.”

“It’s cute.” Jenny tittered, not at all bothered by the open sexual charge. “Kinda envious though.”

Laxus glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. "Which part?"

Jenny placed the drinks down and winked at him over her shoulder. “Looks comfy.”

The look spoke volumes.

Laxus's cheek twitched, a sharp retort on his tongue before a new voice cut him off.

“Foooooooodddd.” Bacchus howled his rise to the world, grasping arms reaching into the air like a betrayed lover without opening his eyes. “Gimme.”

The two blondes froze, the mood murdered.

Sniggers burst out from the side, and the two turned narrowed eyes at Virgo and Dante’s smug faces, all while Dante was still half buried in Virgo’s cleavage.

Flesh shifted into metal as Jenny pointed a water cannon their way. “Dante, dear, you could use a shower.”

“Lies.” Dante regretfully left his pillows and plopped his chin on Virgo’s shoulder. “My woman likes it musky.”

Jenny sputtered at the direct fire and met Virgo’s eyes as the maid nodded.

“Don’t.” Laxus placed a hand on Jenny’s arm, lowering the weapon. “Not worth the effort until you can kick both their asses.”

Dante, Laxus would punch in the face any day, but the maid was a hard wall he couldn’t overcome just yet.

“Little shits.” Jenny’s arm shifted back, throwing a middle finger back to make a point. “We bought breakfast, bitches.”

“It’s dark out.” Dante casually noted.

They’d passed out around sunrise, and after how long he slept, it was already evening.

“Breakfast is breakfast.” Laxus rolled his eyes, plopping down at the bar to break open a bacon, egg, and cheese on a toasted roll. “Be grateful we got you anything.”

"Breakfast is whenever I wake up." Bacchus spoke up as if to remind the blondes of his grasping hands. "Throw me a bone; my spine is all tingly."

“That’s called nerve damage, dumbass.” Dante grumbled his reply. “It’ll be a week before you can cast magic again.”

"Still worth it." Bacchus cackled, uncaring, though Dante noted the guy was a degree more restrained without his shoulder armor. "Food me, blondie."

“Is the mutt talking to me?” Jenny sat beside Laxus, thankfully taking the sandwich he unwrapped for her and passing him his coffee.

“I know he ain’t talking to me.” Laxus bit in, spreading the glorious scent through the room.

Grumbling stomachs echoed from Dante's couch as he fought an internal battle, only to lose when he sensed his woman's hunger.

He knew she wouldn’t say a word against him.

“I hate you all.” Dante growled and pushed himself up.

“You love us.” Jenny blew him a kiss and raised a coffee cup. “Up and at ‘em.”

Dante would have thrown his knife if he had one.

He got up and stomped over to the bar, where Laxus watched him with a twitching brow.

“Would you put the fucking maid down already?” Laxus asked in disbelief.

“Never.” Dante simply changed his horizontal snuggling to vertical snuggling. “Mine.”

“I am not opposed to this.” Virgo stated neutrally in her typical flat tone.

"Be more opposed." Laxus retorted, flicking a wrapper at them. "You two make my teeth hurt."

"More like teeth rot." Jenny rested her chin on a palm as she chewed. "If we could get them in front of a camera, the day's magazine would sell out in record time."

“I’m not exactly fond of cameras.” Dante plopped down at the bar, regretfully releasing his hold on Virgo’s ass, but still sitting her on the bar top while he sat between her legs.

"Saints forbid the people have proof of the wild serpent in its natural element.” Jenny mocked in light humor. “What do you think will happen if they catch sight of you?”

Dante paused mid-motion in grabbing a bag to state with utter seriousness. "They'll come for my moonshine."

“Someone say moonshine?” Cursed energy bubbled up on Dante’s shoulder.

“No.” Virgo swatted the marking, celestial energy bleeding through and suppressing the avatar’s arrival. “Bad trash.”

“Maiden!” Gluttony’s voice grew distant. “Give me moonshine!”

Dante hummed and slid a bag of food over, uncaring of the spat between his contracted beings. “He knows the darker truths.”

“This again?” Laxus groaned.

“Wait, what?” Jenny blinked, taken aback by the demon's brief display. "Who is they?"

“Them.” Dante somehow retained an edge of gravity as he peeled the wrapper off a sandwich. “Never give them an opening.”

He handed his lover food first without breaking stride.

Virgo nodded in approval at his education and patted his head. “Good student, show no weakness.”

She took the sandwich and shoved it in his mouth to make sure he took the first bite.

Dante glared at her and chewed; only then did she happily dig into the sandwich he handed her.

“You two are so weird.” Laxus grunted, but sadly was used to far weirder from his guild. “Student or Master, pick one already.”

"Oh, you sweet summer child.” Jenny patted Laxus’s back, an oddly excited gleam in her eyes. “Let big-sister Jenny educate you on the finer palate of life.”

“Don’t you start.” Laxus sparked harmlessly.

Yet the spark was sucked into Jenny’s arm, her cheeks gaining a light pink dusting as she flexed her fingers. “Interesting.”

Laxus shivered at her tone, unsure of why.

"Close your mouth, Sparky." Dante mumbled from the side, having a mini food war with his lover as they tried to feed each other.

Laxus's jaw snapped shut as he turned back to his food without another word.

"Oi, ya guys are assholes." Bacchus's limbs trembled as he knocked into the bar from Jenny's side, his body lying flat across the top before he tumbled over the other side with a loud curse. "My shit don't work right, drug man!"

“Maybe take warning labels more seriously next time.” Dante stated without remorse. “I can’t heal you overnight when you fuck yourself up that bad.”

‘Yet.’ Dante added internally, his bond flickering as Virgo gazed at him with full confidence.

“Warnings are just suggestions.” Bacchus wobbled up to his feet, struggling like a newborn fawn while four heads calmly watched and chewed in sync. “Dicks.”

“I take offense to that.” Jenny raised a finger. “Don’t got one.”

Bacchus gripped the bar and hauled himself up with his chin. “Cunt. Ya happy?”

Jenny nodded, her lips twitching as the martial artist got zapped in the forehead and collapsed in another heap.

She didn’t need Laxus’s protection, but it was flattering all the same.

“Jackass!” Bacchus flailed his arms. “Just give me food already!”

“Don’t make my job harder.” Dante hit Laxus’s shoulder with a food wrapper. “His nerves are raw.”

Laxus grunted uncaringly, but he still grabbed a bag of food and slid it off the bar to land in Bacchus's lap.

“Hell yeah!" Bacchus lost all annoyance, managing to hip-thrust and send his sandwich up to catch it with his mouth. "Thanks, bro."

Dante paused mid-bite, recalling how Bacchus addressed people, and sent the martial artist a questioning look.

Bacchus seemed to sense it and looked back, giving a sharp grin and a nod.

‘I guess fighting against overwhelming odds builds trust faster.’ Dante mused.

The group fell silent, each chewing in a sort of mechanical sync as their starving bodies came back to life.

Only for them to all finish near the same time.

The mission was complete.

They were alive.

So what next?

Laxus and Jenny raised brows at each other.

Dante and Virgo hummed and considered.

Bacchus turned his head to look between the two sets about a dozen times before asking aloud. "Wanna get smashed?"

Four sets of eyes turned on him.

“Aren’t you still hurt?” Jenny asked without any bite, not afraid to ground the mutt until he was healthy.

“I’m good.” Bacchus tried to play it off. “I want some fresh air.”

The lounge bar was stocked, but they'd all been cooped up and couldn't help but agree with Bacchus's point.

"His nerves and mana channels are healing." Dante commented idly, hiding a slight wink only the martial artist caught. "His liver’s fine. As fine as his could be anyway.”

“Bitch, ya drank a lethal dose less than a day ago.” Bacchus accused; his lips fighting the smirk for Dante having his back.

“Orobo is stupid resistant to everything.” Laxus grumbled. “Fucker probably has a resistance to alcohol.”

The group collectively hissed as they drew in a cold breath, and Dante rolled his eyes.

“You’re all drama queens and alcoholics.” He didn’t deny the claim. “We heading out?”

Everyone looked at each other.

"I have a few recipes I wanted to try." Virgo tapped her chin.

"I wasn't given a deadline." Laxus knew he had completed his S-Class exam.

“I canceled everything on my schedule until next week.” Jenny seemed open to it.

"Cool." Bacchus kipped to his feet, hip-checking his food wrapper into a trash can. "Let's get wild.”

The only response was the scrape of bar stools.

000

The group stumbled into the first tavern they found.

Or really, the first Bacchus sniffed down like a bloodhound.

“Oi! Barman, a round of ale.” The martial artist raised a leg to the bar, making a few nearby guests stare oddly at them.

“Can you really not feel your arms?” Jenny slipped into a chair that Laxus had kicked out for her, sending the guy a smirk.

"Oh, I feel 'em." Bacchus rolled his shoulders, a tick of displeasure on his face at the lack of weight from his armor. "They are telling me I'm too sober."

“What was with the armor, anyway?” Laxus raised a brow at the guy. “Spell medium?”

“Among other stuff, yeah.” Bacchus grunted and kicked his feet up on a chair he snagged from a nearby table. “Feels damn naked without them.”

“It is advisable to wean off them.” Virgo surprisingly spoke up as she adjusted a chair to be closer to Dante. “You hold the potential for far more if you break your crutches.”

Bacchus tilted his head thoughtfully. “Maybe.”

“She generally gives good advice, man.” Dante nodded at the martial artist as he draped his arm over Virgo’s shoulder, smiling wryly as she chose to sit inches from him. “But no pressure. Do whatever works.”

Dante was the only one there who knew of Bacchus’s mental scars.

“Bah, I’ll think about it next time I’m sober.” Bacchus waved it away as their drinks arrived and turned the focus back on Dante. “So ya gonna make that Moonshine stuff? Ya been going on about it for ages.”

“More like never shuts up about it.” Laxus sniffed his ale.

“What are you, a dog?” Jenny laughed and lightly shoved Laxus with her shoulder. “But the boys are right, Dante. You were talking about it even back when we met.”

“A man can have dreams, alright?” Dante sighed morosely and lazily rested his head atop Virgo’s. “Was too focused on surviving, didn’t have time to nab Blackvein’s still.”

The plan was simply to take out Vance Holleran, the manager, within 30 minutes and then go loot their shit with the remaining 30 minutes.

Sadly, reality didn’t match up.

“Understatement of the year.” Laxus snorted. “That crazy bitch was kicking all our asses, and you kept her busy for longer than you had any right to.”

“Sorry.” Jenny winced, feeling a tad responsible even if she knew it wasn’t her fault. “None of us could have expected Karen to be there. I’m still shocked we even beat her.”

She was doing her best to process, but the wound was still raw.

“Meh, we got lucky.” Dante waved it away, not wanting to press Jenny's pain. "What's done is done. I'll have to keep looking for a still."

“Damn, I was hoping to try your good shit.” Bacchus clicked his tongue. “I was too insulted by their automated shit to search.”

“He already makes good shit.” Laxus clicked his tongue at the flavor of the ale they were drinking. “But the liquor would have been cool.”

He didn't even bother mentioning his roadblock, since he didn't make it through the cafeteria he'd entered before the copper mage showed up like the world’s most annoying Tweety Bird.

“I’m still dying to try a cocktail from your liquor.” Jenny admitted with a wry smile; her battle in the warehouse had been a bit hectic, and she hadn't been able to turn up anything. “I’m willing to help you search.”

“I would also like to try it.” Virgo nodded absentmindedly as she played with the hair hanging down from Dante’s head. “You can use my still.”

“It’s fine.” Dante huffed at the blonde, missing the point by his ear. “One will pop up eventually.”

Bacchus looked over at the maid who was happily making braids out of Dante’s hair.

“Might as well hit a better tap.” Laxus dropped his empty mug. “I know a place nearby that has decent apple scotch.”

“Have you even tried the bars in Crocus yet?” Jenny asked Dante.

“Didn’t have time.” Dante admitted with a narrow-eyed gaze at the mischievous woman. “No more gay clubs.”

Bacchus blinked in confusion. “Did no one hear the maid?”

“Boo~.” Jenny stuck her tongue out at Dante. “They make the best fruity cocktails.”

“Anything with orange juice?” Laxus asked curiously.

“Oh?” Jenny looked over at him teasingly with a Cheshire grin. “Not going to ask for a manly Old-Fashioned?”

“Getting drunk isn’t the same thing as enjoying a drink.” Laxus countered without shame and turned his head away. “I like sour flavors.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that!” Jenny laughed and threaded an arm through Laxus’s elbow. “I know a place with killer Screwdrivers.”

“Make sure you check the sign before heading in.” Dante offered a friendly warning and got a middle finger from Jenny.

“Oi.” Bacchus barked and kicked the table. “Jackasses.”

“We get it, man.” Dante rolled his eyes. “I’ll make something fun later with what I got.”

“That’s not my point.” Bacchus pointed a foot. “We got a still.”

“In your ass?” Dante asked with a chuckle.

“Wait, we do?” Jenny looked back, confused. “I’m not washing that off.”

“It was destroyed.” Laxus ignored the joke and laid out the reality. “Mutt’s in denial.”

“I have one.” Virgo agreed.

Dante’s mouth opened and shut with a clack as his brain processed.

“Dude, give it a rest.” Laxus sighed.

“He does like to bark.” Jenny raised her head up. “Dante?”

Dante didn’t respond, having sat up to slowly stare down at his straight-faced lover, only her amused eyes following him.

He rolled his jaw. “Virgo.”

“Yes, master?” She asked neutrally.

He leaned in closer to stare. “Do you have a still?”

“I do.” She nodded.

“See!” Bacchus threw his legs up in exasperation. “Y’all hearing sucks.”

Dante kicked Jenny's chair, the blonde kicked Laxus's, and Laxus kicked out Bacchus's, sending the martial artist down with a curse of displeasure.

“Where?” Dante asked calmly.

Virgo simply flicked a finger and, with a crash that made a dozen patrons’ eyes pop out, a gleaming copper still, nearly fifteen feet tall, pierced through the wooden floorboards.

“I procured it while you were busy.” Virgo stated simply to the stunned crowd.

“Holy shit.” Bacchus’s eyes were shining.

“Where was she keeping that?” Jenny sweatdropped.

“Fucking maid.” Laxus refused to react on principle.

“Hey!” The bar owner came running over. “My floor! You all better pa-!”

The man was cut off as a stack of bills literally slapped him across the face, courtesy of Dante’s offhand throw.

The brewer barely registered paying as he placed a trembling palm on the magnificent creation before him. “Is it real?”

He had been dreaming of one since he discovered he had brewing magic.

“Yes.” Virgo smirked at the emotion in his voice and nodded proudly.

Only to squeak in surprise as Dante proceeded to abandon his treasure and pull her into a soul-searing kiss.

He enveloped her entire body like a cloak, a hand on her back as the chair groaned from how far he tipped her back.

Her mind whited out as she lost herself in a throaty moan.

The bar stopped and stared at the sensual display.

Jenny blushed and waved a hand in front of her face.

Laxus flushed and looked away.

Bacchus wolf-whistled, hanging upside down with both legs wrapped around the copper chassis of the still like a pole dancer. “That’s my bro!”

Jenny’s brow twitched, her arm shifting into a water cannon. “Bad dog.”

“Wait!” Bacchus shielded the still with his body. “Not the shiny.”

“You’re an idiot.” Dante spoke up loud enough for the others to hear, his smile wide at a thoroughly flushed woman staring at him in a daze before he whispered only loud enough for her to hear. “I’ll thoroughly punish you later.”

A full-body shiver went through Virgo at his rough tone, and the bar vibrated with her as she momentarily lost control of her affinity.

“I’m appreciating art!” Bacchus defended himself by kicking away errant water blasts from Jenny’s lazy attacks, each calibrated not to hit the device. “Come on booze man, makey with the shit that will fuck me up.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Dante sat up and brushed his hair back, turning his full focus on the still hard enough to make the copper blush.

Mana pulsed off him hard enough to make anyone outside his group take hesitant steps back, as if a dreadful serpent were rearing its head.

His eyes sharpened into slits as the most holy of objects appeared in his hands.

Bacchus whined at the sight of what he held and barked. “Oi, I’ve seen that look before.”

“What look?” Jenny and Laxus couldn’t see Dante’s face from their angle.

“Is he losing his shit?” Laxus asked in confusion.

"No." Bacchus's eyes glowed red, his nerves burning like battery acid on a raw wound as mana couldn't help but enhance his senses for a moment, making his smirk unnaturally sharp. "He's getting wild.”

Dante ignored them all, cracking open the pages of a well-worn notebook to the first page, where a highly detailed recipe had been written and refined over many moons.

“The time has come.” Dante spoke, his voice echoing all around.

Jenny and Laxus nervously swallowed in unison, unsure if they should step in or support while Bacchus cackled insanely.

The pages fluttered in an unseen wind, the grand title of page one standing out prominently.

[Moonshine 101:

Step 1 - How to grant humans four-wheel drive]

“Let’s get smashed!” Bacchus cheered.

000

"Woo!" Bacchus spun like a top, breakdancing like a high-speed drill while his arms flopped uselessly through the air. "WILD!"

“WILD!” A crowd of thoroughly sloshed civilians cheered along with him under the pounding music.

“Think we should stop them?” Laxus yelled over the music.

“Are you kidding?” Jenny brushed up against him, swaying to the music as she laughed like a tinkling bell. “This is hilarious.”

Colored lights flashed, music pounded, and at the center of a warehouse-sized club stood a DJ stand.

"It's not enough." A deep bass voice echoed over the speakers, perfectly in tune with the music. "It's not enough!"

“Not enough!” The crowd cheered.

“I need more.” The deep voice spoke as an explosion of steam burst from the DJ stand, washing over the Lacrima-powered keyboards. “More!”

“More!” The crowd ate it up, the deep bass reverberating in their chests.

"VIRGO!" Dante yelled maniacally, arms spread wide, glowing with magic before the giant puffing still. "MORE POWER!"

The sunglasses-wearing maid nodded, hand held to headphones over her ears as she flipped a dozen switches, the Lacrima batteries fueling the concert funneling into the still as Dante worked his magic.

The still whistled like a train as steam exploded from it once more, the beat dropping in tune as Dante laughed like a mad scientist; the lights made his shadow stretch over the venue, giving the concertgoers a show for the ages.

“I feel like we should be concerned.” Laxus’s intoxicated eyes couldn’t help but pan to the original DJ, currently tied up like a pretzel beneath the keyboard and struggling to break free.

"You really wanna get caught up in that?" Jenny was having a blast, throwing her hair over her shoulder and gesturing to the long line of bouncers down for the count after Dante ran over like a maniac and plopped his giant still down in the center of the venue's power source.

“STOP!” A new pair of burly bouncers ran over. “Release the controls of-AH!”

“Disturb Master.” They went down clutching their, thankfully not bleeding, eyes as a blur appeared. Monty glared down like a grim reaper in the flashing lights. “Stabbing time.”

"You can't just-!" A bouncer tried to protest, only to find a terrifying shadow hovering over his face as a red orb spun dangerously.

“Or what, Mortal?” Gluttony’s maw spread with sharp teeth. "Disrupt the moonshine, and I shall feast on your soul!"

The man shivered in soul-deep terror before a scaled foot slapped the back of the shadow’s head.

“No eat.” Monty tutted.

The bouncer blinked and just noticed the shadow was only a foot tall.

“Lizard…” Gluttony shook for a moment before the avatar exploded up with its arms in the air. “STOP RUINING MY STREET CRED!”

“No.” Monty stuck her tongue out and sped away. “Master, give moonshine.”

“Next batch was mine!” Gluttony chased after her in protest.

The bouncer left behind grasped his head, unsure what was going on.

The DJ cast a sidelong glance and stomped her foot. “My master is to be undisturbed during his insanity time.”

None of them heard her over the music, but in the next second the recovering bouncers found themselves trapped in earthen bonds while Virgo returned to manning the DJ table.

“You know what? Never mind.” Laxus shook his head and focused on the bleach-blonde feline using him as a scratch post. “I don’t care anymore.”

Jenny laughed and pulled him into a dance.

000

"MINE!" Monty sped through the doors of a new bar, uncaring what kind it was, with a flask of moonshine above her head.

"GET BACK HERE, LIZARD!" Gluttony chased after her on his two thin, shadowy legs, his sheer presence causing the staff of the fancy club to balk and not stop them.

“Oh, new bar?” A sniffing Bacchus magically appeared at the bar, making a refined bartender blink in confusion. “What’s ya specialty, man?”

The doors were pushed open as a hysterically laughing Jenny was half carried in by an equally swaying Laxus.

A manager sweatdropped at the famous faces and stepped forward to try and guide them to an isolated room, only for the ground to rumble before a gleaming fifteen-foot still popped out of the ground near the bar like a jack-in-the-box.

“Need.” A near-manic voice echoed, making the staff back up. "More power!"

A bloodshot-eyed Dante locked onto the nearest jack for the Lacrima connection and hijacked it, wiring it up to the still as it began churning more steam.

The manager was too shocked to react to the rapidly changing scene as the crystal chandeliers shook from Monty and Gluttony chasing each other for the flask.

Two dozen upper-society guests stared at the show in a mix of posh horror and interest.

"Oi, blondes." Bacchus called over, waving a foot and somehow balancing a cocktail glass on the other. "Turn up the music already, my soul is aching."

“Hm.” Jenny was about to plop into a booth when she beamed mischievously at Laxus.

“No.” Laxus flatly declined.

“Hmmm.” Jenny hummed louder.

“I said no.” Laxus growled.

“I recall someone losing a little bet~.” Jenny leaned in.

Laxus choked.

Jenny giggled and kissed his cheek before backflipping, her heels turning into springs that shot her to the stage.

"Who do you think you-!" The singer in heavy makeup tried to object, only to get high-heeled off the stage.

Jenny winked at the fuming woman and drunkenly sashayed up to the mic, her fingers snapping a rhythm that electrified the air.

“Is that Jenny Realight?!” A single shout turned into a dozen as the guests recognized the iconic blonde.

Jenny ran a hand through her hair, grabbed the mic, and brought it close. “Step into the night, the lights are glowing bright.”

The exclamations fell silent; eyes locked on the stage as Jenny's smooth voice drew the guests in.

“Velvet shadows move~.” Jenny’s hair swayed, covering half her face as she glanced to the right.

The upbeat tune was met by a crackle on the speakers as DJ Virgo hijacked another sound station and released a matching bass beat.

“We’re sparking up the night~.” Jenny swayed, her hair shifting to the other side as she glanced to the left.

Laxus sighed and flashed on stage, lightning crackling around him as he matched her tune with sparking bolts.

“Every heartbeat sways~.” Jenny dazzled the crowd, gripping the mic tightly and tipping it over as metal shifted beneath her clothes and attracted the electricity to dance around her while her gaze stayed locked on Laxus. “The rhythm pulls us near~.”

Electricity sparked violently, Laxus too distracted to control it, yet that only seemed to make Jenny more excited as she drank in his current like a hungry battery.

“Dancing in the current~.” She spun, twirling and pressing her back up into his chest with a look over her shoulder, eyes gleaming in the light. “The swing is crystal clear~.”

Laxus’s hands unconsciously rested on her hips, the two lost in a moment as electricity sparked wildly, forming a circuit with Jenny as the conduit.

“Turn it up~.” Jenny winked and kicked out a leg, the slit in her dress parting to reveal smooth skin as she bent back, entrusting her weight entirely to Laxus's arms, a near-whisper on her lips echoing all around them. “Electric swing~.”

Electricity exploded, and the crowd gasped at the display, surrounding the two blondes like a crown as their bright white smiles shone at the center of it all.

“Let that body ignite~.” Jenny laughed and launched up, twirling as she pulled Laxus into a dance he was entirely out of his element for. “Swing voltage~!”

The bar's fervor ignited, every guest on their feet as the energy sparked their souls.

000

“Get him!”

“Take that fucker down!”

“He’s not even using his arms!”

“Ya want some more of me, huh?!” Bacchus’s feet swung like whips, smacking mages left and right. “Awooo! Who else wants to feel Cerberus’s jaws?”

The small-time guild charged like hyenas into the waiting toes of a thoroughly sloshed Bacchus, while a crowd of other Crocus-based guilds cheered and mocked in equal measure.

“Go for the face!” Gluttony yelled like a boxing coach from a bar stool, hopping up and down with a blood-stained flask in his shadowy arms. “The face is the most satisfying!”

“No face.” Monty swung her mighty feet like a machine gun, shaking Gluttony’s hold to snatch the flask back. “Eye best.”

“The eyes are on the face, lizard!” Gluttony argued.

“Weak mage.” Monty shot Bacchus a superior, disgusted look. “Feet no stab.”

"Oi!" Bacchus's brow ticked as he bent backward to glare at the duo, one foot still kicking out at mages who thought they were hot shit. "Ya want some of these feet, ya shits?"

“Heh.” Monty scoffed derisively. “Slow.”

“My mortal is better.” Gluttony went to sip his flask.

Bacchus's gaze gleamed as he vanished in a burst, his foot hitting the bottom of the flask at the perfect angle to send a shot flying out and land in his open mouth. "Wooo! MOONSHINE MAKES MY SOUL SHIVER!"

“THAT WAS MINE!” Gluttony blazed wrathfully, dive-bombing toward the falling flask to save it, only for a blur to pass by as Monty nabbed it and hopped on top of a random mage's head.

Only this mage was part of another guild.

“Monty win.” Monty tipped the flask back and drank deeply.

“LIZARD!” Gluttony exploded in a shadowy mass of cursed energy, launching forward like a cannonball and slamming into the face of the poor mage, a bloody tooth flying out and tinking off the flask with a fresh blood stain.

“Jason!”

“Not the Wu!”

“Those bastards!” A muscled brute flashed with magic and pointed at Bacchus. “Get him!”

“Oi, oi.” Bacchus cackled, ignoring the dynamic duo racing off through the seedy bar and slamming into even more faces. “Ya all want some of this?”

“Pass~.” Jenny was enjoying her seat, kicking her legs out as she tittered against Laxus’s chest. “Go have fun, little ones.”

Laxus idly kicked a chair, not even looking, as it smashed into some jackass who was about to lose his beer in their direction. "We're busy, ask Orobo."

"Fuck off, Sparky." A half-manic, half-refined voice responded from the bar as Dante carefully examined a dozen mugs, taste-testing each one with extreme focus. "I'm making art."

He picked up a mug, carefully smelled the liquid, swirled it around, and taste-tested it with dramatic swooshing sounds. "92 proof, too sour."

The mug was tossed over the bar, where a waiting Virgo caught it, barely even looking as she mixed a dozen cocktails at the same time with careful precision.

“Order up.”

She slid glasses down the bar top to a waiting crowd.

“She made more!”

“Hey, who’s going to test it this time?”

“Krank’s up next.”

"Hammo is still down for the count; you think I'm touching that?!"

Virgo’s gaze rose from her drinks, a blank stare falling on the crowd.

It took no more than a moment for Krank to be held down and force-fed the drink.

Krank’s eyes dilated before he roared and ripped off his shirt. “I REMEMBER MY PAST LIVES!”

The mage took off into the distance.

The crowd gulped.

“Maybe not that one, love.” Dante commented with a high-born voice, sipping his next mug like fine wine.

Virgo shrugged and tossed the mug into a potted plant, making another flower bulk up, rip out its roots, and proceed to join the bar fight.

000

“Sir!” A member of Wolfsbane of the King’s Agents saluted. “The Hunter and company have made it to the Artisan sector.”

“Didn’t they just enter the industrial sector an hour ago?” Another agent sweatdropped.

"That's the sixth one tonight; how are they covering so much ground?" A third asked in disbelief.

A near-silent sigh left Wolf's masked face as he rubbed his forehead, the cool night wind fluttering around them atop a high rooftop. "Keep following; we must keep the chaos contained."

"Yeah, about that." A new voice spoke up as Captain Rose of Nightshade appeared, swinging her legs off a ledge. "That little concert they hijacked in the Merchant District spilled into the residential areas."

“Whhyyyy!” An agent moaned in the distance.

Wolf turned an irate scowl her way. “And you are here instead of dealing with that because?”

"Because~." Rose responded with clear amusement. "The citizens seem to think the light show yesterday was preparation for tonight's festivities. An elderly nursing home is alive with more energy than those old bones have seen in years.”

Wolf looked up at the sky and closed his eyes.

Perfectly timed as a lightning bolt split the night, arcing like a light show in tune with a howling canine.

For just a moment, a cackling voice echoed on the wind.

“WILD!”

‘I’m getting too old for this shit.’ Wolf gave up and pointed at his team. “Contact headquarters, we need more squads.”

“Way ahead of you.” Rose laughed and appeared at his side, sliding an arm through his elbow. “Come on, we’re partnering up.”

Wolf’s eyes rolled to the femme fatale pulling on him. “Why?”

A flash of a cheap Lacrima camera was his answer as Rose parted her mask to show her smirking red lips. “Because it’s hilarious, of course.”

Before Team Wolfsbane could comment, their captain was whisked away, the man seemingly giving up on resisting as Rose aimed for the center of the chaos taking hold of the capital.

Team Wolfsbane and Nightshade matched gazes and shrugged.

“Drinks on the captains’?”

“I have to make the finance reports, you know?”

“So?”

“I’ll blame Captain Rose if you blame Captain Wolf.”

“Deal!”

The teams scattered in pairs, heading to all corners with wide grins beneath their masks.

After the chaos of the night before, this was a vacation.

000

“Not this one.”

Dante tossed another mixing bowl, the movement making the mini-windmill hat someone had stuck on his head twirl.

“Not that one.” Virgo repeated, tapping the ground to carry away the smoking mixture that went off in the distance.

“VELVET DYNAMITE~!” Jenny yelled into the mic, electricity blooming all around as the duo took over another stage. “BOOM IN THE NIGHT~!”

The beach blonde twirled like she was born for the spotlight while the duo's lightning mage got yelled at by a stage manager as he pulled another stack of bills from his wallet, long traumatized by his grandfather into paying for property damage.

“Get back here with my booze!” Bacchus ran on all fours, regaining slight control of his arms with enough moonshine, and chased what Dante was pretty sure was a King’s Agent running for their life with a flask Dante idly tossed away. “I haven’t tried that bottle yet!”

“That was my flask!” Gluttony roared, a lasso of shadow somehow wrapped around Monty’s torso as the speedy lizard took off after the same agent. “Faster!”

“Monty fastest!” Monty narrowed her eyes in pure focus. And then proceeded to drunkenly perform a right-angle turn in the wrong direction.

“NOT THAT WAY!” Gluttony screamed in terror as they ran into a crowd of half-naked elderly citizens, disappearing between wrinkled legs. “NOOO! WHY DOES IT SAG?!”

“Hmmm.” Dante dropped another random ingredient into a bowl, eyes glowing as he watched how the ingredients meshed. “Not this one.”

He tossed it.

“Not that one.” Virgo repeated in perfect sync, kicking the mixture away.

The fact that the mixture hit the snow and inexplicably animated a viciously smiling snowman with sharp teeth to life didn't cross either of their minds.

000

Crocus was alight with chaos and cheer, and atop his balcony, a tired yet smiling king swirled crystal-clear liquid in a wine glass.

“Those kids sure have energy.”

Toma laughed loudly, sipping his drink with the glowing eyes of a master market manipulator.

A watching Kama sweatdropped, an invitation held tight in his palm.

Chapter End.

AN: I LIIIVVEEEEE (insert Mushu meme)

Jokes aside, I deeply apologize for the delay. I've been running around trying to get people to lease an apartment to a foreigner who doesn't speak their language, and I'm heading in for a Colonoscopy on Nov 12th, T_T. Game face time.

In other news, I'm still trying to commit as much time as I can to writing. I thought moving was hard, but then one of my favorite authors had an emergency and fudging managed to dictate a chapter to his mother who typed it for him while he was on the road. Like shit, I gotta man up.

Book 2 for Ouroboros is nearing its end, a few more chapters to go. Merchant chapter is also due by the 15th, I'll do my best.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!