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Today has been the word day (Patreon)

Published:
2019-09-25 03:13:00
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Today has been the worst day of my life. Today I realize there’s nothing I can do right.


Josh it’s been having major behavioral issues and today it went as far as he was aggressive towards me.


I feel so bad right now, guys. I feel like I failed him! The only person in this world I care the most about.


I have failed as a mother, because I cannot longer control his behavior. The worst thing is that even my mom knows it’s my fault. I feel like shit right now and I apologize for writing this. But I want you guys to know I will take a few days off bc Idk what to do anymore.


I might have to change doctors, start over. Idk. Right now the problem affected me so much that Joshua’s dad had to intervene and he has taken Josh to his house to spend a few days with him until I recover and until we can figure out a new plan for him.


Pray for him. Pray if you can so I didn’t screw him up so bad. All I did was love him and that wasn’t enough I guess.


I’m so sorry guys. Please forgive me. I will come back when I fell better.


Right now all I want to is sleep! Maybe tomorrow it will be better than today.


Love you all ❤️

Comments

Jackelene Torres

Keeping you and Josh in my prayers. Remember that you are a great mom and on your worst days, you are Josh's best hope. I dont have children but it takes a village to raise them. You loving him is medicine whether you realize it or not.

heather

Praying for y’all, Take as much time as you need❤️

Christopher Nicholas

I'm praying for you and Josh and I hope you both make it through this 🙏❤️

Yenelly Tejada

I don’t know you personally, but by all the commentary you have made I can tell that you are a great mother! Don’t blame yourself, because you have done everything possible and everything you can, there’s just so much you can do. Everything will work out and will get better, I hope josh is gets all of the help he needs, and that things get better for you ❤️

Dydra Arnold

I will be praying for both you and Josh. Never forget that you are a great mom. ❤️

Antonio Hudson

Even though I don't really know you I am sure that you are not a bad mom you just need some help and that's ok. Raising any child is hard and at times you will make mistakes or feel like you made a mistake, so I want you to just breathe and calm down because from the looks of it you are doing everything in your power to help your son. I want you to take your time and don't worry about making videos and just work on yourself and your family.

Anonymous

Juli, you are an amazing mom! You loving Josh and doing everything you can means that you are being a great parent. Raising any child is going to have its ups and downs, but remember that everything will work out in the end. Take as much time as you need to feel better, but remember that you are a good person and an amazing mother. Josh knows you love him and he loves you back no matter what. I’ll be keeping you guys in my prayers.

Heidi Elizabeth Marcum

I am truly sorry for all you're going through. I wish you all the best in the world. And I hope your relationship with your son will only continue grow stronger. One day, he will realize how much he loves you and how much he needs you in his life. As children, we forget this. Keep the faith that things will get better for you and for him as well.

Brody Skipper

You’re most definitely a good mother! Even though it’s stressful and upsetting sometimes there are situations that are simply out of your control and are not your fault. I hope you have a good break over the next few days and I’m hoping for the best for Josh and yourself.

Sade L.

So sorry you’re going through this Juli but know that it will get better. You are more than good enough. Praying for both of you ❤️

Jéssica Lima

Juli you're definitely a good mother and I'm certain that you and your son are going to pass this fase strongers than ever... God bless you and your family <3

Lina Krouford

Oh,Juli,Im so sorry this is happening right now. But you are not a bad mother! Bad days are happening but these days are just days. Im sure everything will be me amazing with you and your amazing son!)

Monika

Juli, don't blame yourself. I usually don't write comments, or read much on your personal updates. But this made me cry, so I felt like I had to write something. My brother has been having problems since I can remember. He has been aggressive towards me, towards my mother, towards my grandfather. My father never understood my brother couldn't just get better with a snap of our fingers. He blames my mother so often. My mother has cried so many tears in the past, saying she must be doing something wrong. But SHE IS NOT. It's not her fault. Everyday she does everything she can to help my brother. Everyday he is on the back of her mind, she is taking care of him every day, praying for him, watching out for him. My mother is the best mother in the world. And I hate to see her blame herself, when she just doesn't know what to do. I hate to see her getting insulted by my father. Please, don't blame yourself. We are human. We don't know everything. We can only try. And I think what you and my mother have in common is that you never give up and always try. Please, never say loving your son is not enough. Every single person who loves us is a precious gift for us. You loving your son is everything. I know, because I know what it would have been for my brother if my mother didn't love him. Even when my brother himself doesn't see it, when he can't see it, because of his condition, my mother's love is like this living enegry, shielding him from the pain of the world which doesn't understand him. I believe in this. That her love is precious. And yours also is. I'll pray for Josh.

Bridget b

Juli you are not a bad mother! My brother is on the spectrum for autism as well and me and my family go through some of the same stuff. My brother has gotten out of control before and it’s not easy to deal with but it is not your fault. For a while I blamed myself too but we can only do so much. Please take care of yourself & take all the time you need.

Jose

This might sound ridiculous, but I recommend you listen to the song So Big, So Small. It’s from a musical, but it touches on some of the things you are feeling. Especially with feeling like you aren’t doing enough. Music is my way of healing, and it allows me to reflect and make changes in my life. Hopefully, you don’t think I’m making light of your situation. I just think that a mom always does her best. Even when she makes the wrong decisions. A mom is always working hard to create a better life for both her and her child. So, you can’t put the weight of the world on your own shoulders. Because I know my parents screwed up a lot. And I suffered for it. But I know they did the best they could do with what they had. And in the future Josh and everyone else will appreciate all the hard work you do. Only you know the struggles you have to go through each and every day. So, don’t let anyone try to tell you who or what you are. And if you do mess up, that’s okay too. Because that means you know what not to do. And you can grow and be a better mom. So, take as much time as you need. And once you are ready, go and fight for your son. In whatever way you can. I pray that you don’t lose hope. Life will sometimes knock you right off your feet. Don’t let it keep you down too long. Because if you are down, you aren’t making the things in your life better. And sometimes you are the only one who can. Stay strong!

Bolten

I’m so sorry that you are going through this, you are not a bad mother! I don’t know you personally but i can assure you that you are not a bad mother Juli. You are such a hardworking person and i shows that you are doing everything you can for Josh! Take as much time off as you need, take care of yourself and I’ll pray for Josh ♥️

caitie

Juli you’re an amazing mom ❤️ we all see through how you talk about Josh how much you love him and how you love him unconditionally. You do so much for him. Take all the time you need because looking after yourself and your son is most important ❤️

Lens G Sol

Don't blame yourself Juli, you have not failed as a mother love. It's just one of these days. Get some rest and think about what you can do differently. Stay strong

Tiffany

Juli my heart is touched every time i see you talk about Josh in your videos. It is so obvious to everyone who see you talk about him how much you love him. Please don't blame yourself. Being a parent is hard. I hope Josh improves and please take time off your mental health is important.

Thadman

I'm very sorry. I don't know what to say. It's a bad day. I am confident you'll find a different path to help Josh. I know you love him too much to not try again and you have an open mind so you can and probably will think of another way.

WillAlwaysLoveClark

The only way you can FAIL your son...is by not loving him...and you clearly do. Mistakes are made by everyone...children do not come with instructions. If your mother thinks you failed him....then that means SHE failed you. I can see you are trying to make a living with your videos...it's a job. Take a deep breath and push forward....keep loving him and it will work out.

Edwin Wickey

Don't blame yourself. Parents never know exactly the right answer. The only important thing is that you love your kids. That's it. Everything else is a work in progress.

Sara Peterson

You are not failing him. Sometimes the things parents try don't always work but that doesn't mean you're failing. It's trial and error and you'll get it. And kids have bad days sometimes. Take these few days to regroup, come up with a plan, and breathe. You are doing everything a good mother should be doing <3

Shaun Kemmer

Parents always worry about their kids, but not a single part of me thinks you failed your son. It's not easy raising a child, less so a child with autism. You've been a great mother and once you feel better I hope you and Josh find something that works better for you

Anaïs
>>27182038

It's right, you're not a bad person and not a bad mom, try to get this idea out of you. It's never easy to raise a child and you probably needs some help to resolve it and a shoulder that you can rely on. Take some time to figure it out, be safe and you have our love, you and young Josh.

Kenny

If there's one thing I know about you it's how much you love your son. Let yourself off the hook a little bit. Some things are out of your control -- so many variables when it comes to behavioral issues. The fact that you take the blame just proves what a good mom you are. Take care of yourself. Come back when you're ready.