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Stay (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-07 19:30:21
Edited:
2023-07-07 19:32:43
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

I love talking to my older friends. When I'm in my 20s, and I listened to some of their stories, I was like "that will NEVER happen to me!!!!" And now I'm in my 40s, and the same thing happened in my relationship. I'm like "fuck, what should I do now?"

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Comments

GayMountainBear

This is why I'm exclusively non-monogamous.

Marcus

Honestly, I’d never understood that thought process. I get it you don’t want to be alone, but to sacrifice your happiness for a loveless relationship is foreign concept to me.

song

I understand. But what do you do when you're already in a monogamous relationship?

song

I'm trying not to judge Kenny for his decision in his life, cause I know a relationship can be complicated. It's usually not black and white. It also depends on one's character and personality.

GayMountainBear

From what a friend told me worked for him and his husband: have a talk about sex and how you two feel about it. If either of you feel it'd be cheating, talk about maybe working in a threesome so you two aren't apart; that could even be worked into a thrupple/polyamory if it's consistently with one other person. If it doesn't feel like cheating to either of you or the idea above works to the point where you feel you can be more open, try playing separate, but never go further than both of you are comfortable with. The most important part is following the boundaries set by you and your partner, especially to prevent emotional cheating (falling in love with someone else or otherwise depending on someone else to fulfill the emotional/romantic obligations of your partner). In my last relationship, we didn't have sex and I ended it before I cheated. With my current boyfriend, we're open because he's a total bottom and I'm versatile. He has a boundary that I can't have sex with any of our mutual friends or emotionally cheat on him.

welan

I understand him . Part of the the issue he is at an age he doe not t want to take risk . Loneliness is also painful . And while they are not happy there is likely a certain loyalty to each other and a mutual understanding to take care of each other when one is down .

Wiliam Kibler

Love and sex are not the same thing. Just because a couple are not having sex as often (or at all anymore) does not mean the love is gone. There are many factors why sex could have become less important, and the two people in the relationship need to have a serious, frank discussion as to why this change has occurred. Not having sex with each other does not mean the love has died.

Sam A Milazzo

Very interesting, how it happens without noticing ... an outsider like me would suggest "just ask and talk it over" but I could also be wrong in that aspect as I am not in a relationship (yet?). But being alone is also terrible, so being with someone you love, even at a distance, is possibly better than solitude.

Marcus

Yeah that is true relationship are complicated. It makes sense.

Tammy Dasti Fisher

There are also a load of reasons why sex isn't physically possible any more. Some medications and some medical conditions can cause problems with getting and sustaining erections.