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I'm very sorry for the lack of updates, I've been sick (Patreon)

Published:
2019-11-27 00:55:07
Imported:
2026-06

Content

I apologize for the lack of updates, I really wanted to have done a lot more by now, but my health has been awful. I've been having a lot of issues, most of them thanks to my extreme lack of sleep and sleep apnea, a problem I've been fighting all my life, which has gotten much worse these last weeks!

The rest of this post is just me going in more detail about why I've been too sick to make any decent progress, so feel free to ignore it

I'm not talking about having a couple of bad nights, I'm talking about severe sleep deprivation, and this has been lasting for a long time! Some months I feel better than others, but this month was the worse this year

Unfortunately my brain has always done this to me... the more tired I am, the less it lets me sleep! It's insane... I've been having terrible headaches, I waste several hours in bed trying to sleep, my body is all in pain, my joints and muscles hurt, I'm very stressed about everything,  I've got fever, it's been a terrible month, and I can barely get anything done because the headaches wont go away and now my body is showing it's signs too, I've been miserable but I didn't want to bring bad news...You'd assume that being so sleep deprived would help me fall a sleep, but SOMEHOW my brain sleeps less and less! I've also had sleep apnea episodes (Like, you literally wake up and get up in panic because your throat closed itself and you're suffocating)

WHAT about going to the doctor or taking medication!?
Those things help for a bit, but my douchebag of a brain always finds a way to keep me awake (SOMEHOW!) Sleeping pills work for about 2 nights... They somehow lose their effect after that, even if I try new and stronger medication... Some of them might help me fall asleep faster... but 1 or 2 hours later I just wake up again! This wouldn't be so bad if it happened for just a couple of nights now and then, but I've been like this for a long time... My head and my body can barely take this anymore and it's been a long time since I felt so miserable (I've had terrible episodes like this one a couple years ago)


I said this before, I prefer not to annoy people with these problems, but you're patrons! Telling you what's going on and why I'm late is the least I can do!
I was hoping I'd get better during this month (and make up for the lost time, so I wouldn't have to write this) but unfortunately I'm still feeling very weak
I'm really sorry I had to post this instead. I WILL post updates as soon as I can, and I'm trying my best to get better, but unfortunately things rarely go the way I want and I really just want this to stop.

Once again, I'm really sorry for the bad news! But I had to explain the situation, and so far I did what I could.  I know from past life experiences that these episodes usually last no more than about a month, so I'll just hope that I finally get better in the following days.

Comments

Cool

I'm so sorry to hear about that man. Sounds like it's been awful for you. :/ I can probably speak for most people in saying that we understand completely that you're going through such a rough time and hope you feel better as soon as possible.

Anonymous

take your time. make sure your health is taken care of.

Nanakra

Sleep deprivation and insomnia are an awful combination. I also suffer from sleep apnea. Just from reading above, I'm assuming you don't have a CPAP machine. If this is the case... Get your butt to a doctor and get one! It will change your life! (And save it. You can die in your sleep from an acute apnea episode!) If you do have a cpap, make sure you are using it (I know, I know) and if it is not working, you may need to have your prescription pressure increased. Before I was diagnosed and started with a CPAP treatment I was a walking zombie. After, it was like I was waking up from a decades long nightmare for the first time. It's not instant. Can take a couple of weeks before you actually feel rested, but once you get there, holy cow it's another world.

CT

If you need time to take care of your health, then please take all the time you need! Don’t force yourself to work if you’re feeling weak. Get feeling better first. I’ll patiently wait in the meantime! :)

Mean774

Appreciate the update. I hope you get better and have a happy, or at least less miserable, thanksgiving. Wishing you all the best!!!

David Davidson

Even nightmares are preferable to not being able to sleep. Health comes before anything.

bopkiru

Hope you get better

ELTON MAGNUS

Hope u get better soon brotha

Ashkiiwolf
>>29422461

Hey, thank you so much for the suggestion. I've never even heard of that machine. But I'm very glad to know that it worked out for you! The thing is that I get these... suffocation episodes just from time to time (usually when I'm having a really bad month and sleeping very little, like I did on November, but on average, this happens once or twice a year) :S In other words, my apnea kinda comes and goes... But now I'm really curious to know if this would help! You had to do some "sleep tests" at the hospital, hadn't you? (And probably get a prescription)

Anonymous

I’m sorry to hear about everything Ashkiiwolf. One cannot imagine this pain because I've had sleep problems due to too much stress at a time in my life as well. When I was working part time and going to college full time, I simply didn’t know what to do in school. I was running away from my problems instead of fighting them. I learned that if I fight my problems and lose 100 times over, at least I knew that fighting these hardships would allow me to get better, and better and better... which it did. In my life, I thought I had to be bigger and sometimes better than others yet felt overwhelming when others are bullies because bullies are bullies. This problem of being bigger led me to depression which goes lower; that is the balance. We all as people have problems Ashkiiwolf and some people at times run away, yet some at other instances fight. You are a fighter. I hope you get better!