The Ultimate Guide to Grocery Shopping (Patreon)

This is not about pizza rolls. Leave your boxes of Pop-Tarts next to the other boxes of trash where they belong. Put that box of Cheez-It's back on the shelf because you don't need them. Grocery Shopping, to quite a few of you, means filling your cart with a whole bunch of snacks and things that look relatively tasty (or things you grew up eating), paying an obnoxious amount of money for said things, and being totally out of food by the end of the following week. 

Where am I going wrong?!, you think to yourself as you peer into your fridge and consider how to make a meal out of a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce and slices of american cheese. As a college student or young adult living on a modest budget, food is totally necessary and can be outrageously expensive- but it doesn't have to be. Here's my guide to keeping a relatively stocked kitchen that will do two things:

Serve as a foundation for your more complicated chef endeavors

Make sure you ALWAYS have SOMETHING to eat or finesse into a meal

Disclaimer: This guide is not for vegans or vegetarians, but you may pick up some tips.

1. All Grocery Stores Are Not Built Equally

This tip is contingent on access and location, but if you have a multitude of options please commit to the best one. This can mean checking yelp, doing a test-run in various stores, or asking your followers on twitter. As for me personally, I have two favorites. The first is Winco, only available in the Western United States. Prices are the most affordable I've ever seen for name brand and niche products. My second favorite is Aldi's, which has over 1300 stores in 36 states. They have fresh produce and meats at amazing prices, and tons of off-brand staples that anybody who can properly follow a recipe can transform. I also shop at Kroger for convenience (yay 24-hour locations) and selection, and Wal-Mart is of course affordable but sometimes lacking in selection (along with having super long lines). 

2. Stop The Excuses

Make your biweekly grocery trip a stress-free yet predictable part of your routine. Figure out why you hate grocery shopping and adjust.

"It takes forever and I hate crowds."- Avoid crowds and shop on weekday mornings or after 9PM. Wednesdays are the best day to shop (because its apparently the least likely day that most Americans go to retail stores). If you're a night owl and live near a 24-hour grocery store, go in the middle of the early morning. You'll breeze through the entire trip. Also, try to go shopping without someone with you. You'd be amazed at how much time you waste looking for someone or holding conversation. 

"It's boring." - A lot of things responsible adults have to do are annoying and boring. But when it comes to grocery shopping, make things a little better and efficient with a list (duh), and making a game out of the trip. Reward yourself if you come in under budget or set up a timer and pace yourself through the trip to beat out the clock. Also, play music on your headphones.

"I be hungry."- Eat before you go. Baby stoners, don't go high. 

3. Buy Generic

Before I scare you into thinking you have to buy 'Vanilla Creme Sandwiches' instead of your fave Golden Oreos, realize that i'm talking about six things. Flour, sugar, spices, eggs, milk, and butter/margarine are all things that you don't need to shell out an arm and a leg for. Buy store brand and you won't be able to tell the difference. 

4. Set A Reasonable Budget

I spend about $150 every two weeks on groceries, maybe a little more when Im going crazy with new recipes. This is reasonable for me because when I don't cook for myself I spend $8-12 on a take-out meal (or, once every blue moon, $20-40 on a sit-down restaurant meal). If I ate out once or twice a day, that's $70-$140 a week.  With my grocery budget as $150 every two weeks, I spend about $3.50 per meal (or a little more than that considering I don't always eat breakfast). Figure out what works for you by adding up how much money you spend on takeout. The tweet that inspired this post (and that made everyone demand I write it) described the familiar experience of grocery shopping and not having anything to cook by the next week. When this happens you're likely to eat out. Go add up all those little moments of food desperation and then make a budget that works. Realize how much money could be saved if you took an extra 30 minutes or so once or twice a day to prepare a meal. You can also save tons more money by getting into couponing. 

Before taking the plunge to consistently stock your kitchen via well-planned grocery store trips, make sure you have enough kitchen utensils and supplies to always be able to whip something up in a pinch. Some basics to start with:

Whisks, spatulas, mixing spoons, tongs

Metal cookie sheets

Cutting boards

Dutch Oven

Slow Cooker

Casserole Dishes

3-5 saucepans and pots

Waffle Iron

Wire Racks

Toaster

Garlic Press

Knives

Blender

Paper Towels

Foil

Ziplock bags (Quart and Liter Sizes)

Wok

Meat Tenderizer

Cheese cloth

Bakeware Kit

Before embarking on your first real grocery trip using this guide, take stock of how many of the following pantry basics you have. These staples are necessary because they can be perfectly adapted to a number of recipes, and most have a long shelf life in the case of zombie apocalypse. Sometimes these staples can make or break the defining choice between whipping something up at home and hopping on grubhub because you have nothing to make. 

Most of these things are used sparingly, so you'll rarely run out of all of these things at once. With all of them in your kitchen, it makes each trip to the grocery store efficient, as you will have more potential recipes to work with. 

Flour

Sugar (Brown and white)

Baking Powder

Rice

Grits

Pasta noodles and pasta sauce 

Knorr Pasta and Rice Sides (or similar brands)

Breadcrumbs (Panko or Traditional Italian Seasoning)

Pancake Mix (Or Waffle Mix if that's your bag) and syrup

Olive and/Or Vegetable Oil

Canned Veggies

Tuna

Mayonnaise

Honey

Peanut Butter

Jelly, Jam, Marmalade, etc

Tortillas (Quesadillas, tacos, burritos, wraps, OH MY!) and Taco Shells

Boxed Stuffing

Dried and/or canned beans

Cornbread/Biscuit Mix

Cake/cookie/brownie mixes (You never know when the mood will strike)

Flaxseeds (For smoothies)

Vinegar

Chicken Broth and/Or Stock

Fish Fry Breading

Spice, Dressing, and Sauce Staples

Salt, Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Parsley, Oregano, Rosemary, Red Pepper Flakes, Seasoning Salt, Italian Seasoning, Paprika, Adobo, Lemon Pepper (gross to me, jsyk), vanilla extract, Five Spice Powder, and Cayenne.

Ketchup, Sriracha, Italian Dressing, Ranch, BBQ sauce, Tartar sauce, Caesar

Teriyaki, Soy, Sesame Oil, Hoisin, Rice Wine Vinegar (If you like Asian cooking)

Pantry/Fridge Basics That Need to Be Replenished More Frequently:

Milk (I won't judge you on what kind)

Eggs

Butter/Margarine/Sour Cream 

Cheese

Bread

Potatoes

Onions

Garlic

Bonus Tip: You can freeze bread! ;) 

Be honest with yourself and make a list of your most frequent impulse food purchases. Limit yourself to two a week, and resolve to make the rest at home or go without it. More often than not you'll find that some of your favorite foods can be made at home. I personally love Asian food, so instead of succumbing to takeout I've learned various easy recipes like General Tsos Chicken, eggrolls, lo mein, and fried rice, etc.

When you have free time, scroll some popping food apps like Yummly to find recipes that are easy and/or require few ingredients. Before you know it, you'll be whipping up accurate and efficient grocery lists.

Frozen Foods

Whatever you eat, buy your meat in bulk. You heard me? Buy wings, breasts, thighs, oxtails, shrimp, and fish in bulk and only defrost what you need. You won't believe how many times I've been saved from driving to Chipotle because there was a package of wings in my freezer or a chicken breast in a ziplock bag. By the way, you don't always have to buy these meats frozen. Look for affordable fresh meat in large packages and divy them up in to freezer bags when you get home.

Vegetables and fruit

Chicken tenders, empanadas, burger patties, french fries, pizzas etc

I advise against: Frozen Meals. They're almost never worth the money because of the portion sizes and the sodium. 

30 Minute Meal Ingredients

These are some of the quickest and customizable recipes, so it's really up to you what you'd want to use for them but here's some suggestions.

Taco or Nacho Ingredients- Taco seasoning packs, tortilla chips, refried beans, sour cream, jalapenos, etc

Stir Fry Ingredients- Mushrooms, scallions, red peppers, bean sprouts, salsa, etc.

Various One Pot Meal Ingredients- Heavy cream, shallots, cooking wine, etc.

Chicken or Fish Sandwich Ingredients- Buns, slaw or lettuce, tartar sauce, etc.

Southern Breakfast- Turkey Sausage, Bacon, Croaker, Perch, etc paired with grits

Breakfast Sandwiches- Croissants or bagels with avocado, eggs, breakfast meats, etc. 

Salads- Lettuce and leafy greens, tortilla strips, croutons, parmesan chips, dressing, salsa

Various Meal Starters- Hamburger/ Chicken/Tuna Helper, etc.

Grab and Go Snacks

It's good to have 3-5 snacks on hand, some salty and some sweet. These are things that simply need to be unopened, or at most, popped into the microwave or into a blender.

Chips (tortilla and other kinds if you like)

Crackers

Oatmeal

Pretzels

Nuts

Trail Mix

Popcorn

Protein/ Snack Bars

Hummus

Smoothie Ingredients

Salad Mix

Yogurt

Salsa

Soup

Treats (You know what I'm talking about. Whether it be decadent chocolate lava cakes or blueberry muffins from the bakery or that bag of pizza rolls I'm judging you for grabbing)

Produce

You know what kind of fresh produce you like. Never buy too much at once. Unless you KNOW you're going to eat mushrooms everyday, don't buy more than one package. Those lose freshness quickly. Buy produce when on sale and always remind yourself you can go back when you run out. If you don't want to go back for fresh produce once a week, buy most of your produce frozen. 

Meal Enhancers

These are things you don't need, but are good to have if you want to experiment more like an amateur Chopped contestant.

Gravy and sauce mixes (In the $1-3 packs on the seasoning aisle)

Crispy Onions (Perfect on sandwiches, burgers, and casseroles)

Marsala wine, balsamic vinegar, sherry

Frozen pie crusts

Ricotta or Goat Cheese

Mexican Crema

Marinades for wings, burgers, and other meats

Wonton/ Eggroll/ Empanada Wrappers

Udon/Soba Noodles

You definitely have to up your seasoning cabinet. Your local grocery store has an abundance of seasonings sitting in the $3-$5 range that you ignore because you're in a rush and being cheap, but every grocery trip make it a point to buy just one that sounds good. Your collection will grow and you will have more things to mix and match. Trust me on this.

The Golden Rules:

Have a Signature Fallback Meal- When it comes to figuring out amounts of ingredients to buy at the grocery store, think about the two weeks ahead. You want to always have at least 2-3 different grain or starch sides, 2-3 different proteins, and 4-5 different vegetables (fresh, canned, and frozen) on hand. If you're anything like me, you alternate between wanting rice or potatoes on any given day. Remember, your ultimate fallback meal is to pair these with a protein in different marinades and rubs in different preparation styles (roasted, fried, stir fried, slow cooked, braised, etc) and a different vegetable or two. 

Don't Underrate Sandwiches- People don't give sandwiches enough credit. Sometimes you're so overwhelmed by hunger that the idea of entering your kitchen and preparing something seems cruel- so you run out for whatevers fastest and cheapest. The meal is bleh, and you're salty at yourself for spending money by the end. You'll find you could have just eaten a sandwich, chips (or popcorn or pretzels or whatever), and fruit and been just fine. So keep sandwich ingredients on hand. Don't hesitate to throw leftover chicken on bread or in a wrap. Make tuna salad at the beginning of the week to use periodically through the week. I love using green onion, parsley, and dill in mine. 

Use Whole Chickens- Whether you buy it pre-made from the store or cop a whole chicken and roast it yourself, get your money's worth! Eat a roast chicken dinner with sides, and for the next few days use the meat in tacos, nachos, empanadas, salads, stew, or sandwiches. Then make a broth with the bones using this recipe and freeze it for the next time you feel like soup. 

Use Up Veggies- If you've barely made a dent in your fresh veggies and you want to use them in a major way before they go bad, check out slow cooker, stew, and soup recipes.

Don't Sleep On Chicken Thighs- This is one of the cheapest cuts of the chicken, and the most flavorful. They are great in one pot dinners and slow cooker recipes. In addition to serving them with grains and veggies,  you can get them nice and tender in the slowcooker for pulled bbq chicken sandwiches, tacos, nachos, and burritos.

With these tips in mind I hope you're able to become not only a master of grocery shopping, but someone who enjoys planning meals for the immediate future (and desperate apocalypse meals with the basics always in your pantry). if you have any questions, or tips to share, feel free to comment below!