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In my life, I've encountered countless abused women and abusers of women. I have read countless stories about women who barely escaped with their lives, and horrible tragedies about women who never managed to. Even still, every time a story pops up on my timeline, I have a visceral reaction of anger, fear, and pain. I was just 14 when a classmate's mother** and brother were killed by her mother's ex-boyfriend. She was my age and was shot fleeing from the house with her baby sister in her arms. The ex-boyfriend had been gunning after the infant as well. It was such a surreal story to me then, at the tender age of 14-- and it still is now. That man's jealousy, resentment, and rage stripped a girl like me of her mother forever. On accident, of course, as he had been trying to kill her as well. This story, and many others, was on my mind when researching and writing this video. 

What was your first experience with domestic violence? If you're feeling up to sharing, please leave a comment.

If you believe you're in an abusive relationship. Please get help. I love you. 

**Read the story from 2009 here 

Sources

"What happens in this house stays in this house" : Black women sound the alarm about domestic violence in the African American Community (Eric J. Shelton) 2/4/19

Study Finds Black Women Murdered by Men Are Nearly Always Killed By Someone They Know, Most Commonly With a Gun (Violence Policy Center) 9/18/18

When Men Murder Women (Violence Policy Center) 9/30/18

The Quiet Crisis Killing Black Women (Melissa Jeltson)

Black Women 's Post-Slavery Silence Syndrome: A Twenty-First Century Remnant of Slavery, Jim Crow, and Systemic Racism--Who Will Tell Her Stories? (Patricia A. Broussard) Spring 2013

For Low-Income Victims, Nuisance Laws Force Ultimatum: Silence Or Eviction (Pam Fessler) 6/29/16

When Domestic Violence Victims Face Eviction For Calling The Cops (Melissa Jeltson) 7/14/16

Violence Against Women in the United States (National Organization for Women)

Intimate Partner Violence Fact Sheet

Homicide Trends in the United States, 1980-2018 (US Department of Justice)

The Intersection of Spirituality, Religion, and Intimate Partner Violence in the African American Community (Tameka L. Gillum, PhD)

Blacks In Heated Debate Over The Color Purple (1/27/86)

The Color Purple Not As Simple As Black or White (Dorothy Gilliam) 12/23/85

More than half of the women slain in 2017 were killed by family or partners, study finds (Erin Donaghue) 11/26/18

20 Alarming Domestic Violence Statistics for 2018 (Leigh Kellner)

Number of women killed by homicide grew by 21 percent, says new study (Kate Smith) 12/6/18

Police Have a Much Bigger Domestic-Abuse Problem Than the NFL Does (Conor Friedersdorf) 9/19/14

Here’s How Many People Police Killed in 2018  (Michael Harriot) 1/3/19

Sifting Through the Controversy: Reading The Color Purple (Jacqueline Bobo) Spring 1989

The House Just Reauthorized the Violence Against Women Act. Republicans Senators Want to Kill it. (Sam Van Pykeren) 4/4/19

Sexual Violence, Gender, Reconstruction, and the Extension of Patriarchy in Granville County, North Carolina (Laura F. Edwards) 

Florida man accused of killing wife, daughter with machete arrested after 3-day manhunt (Michelle Ewing) 4/4/19

Intelexual Media Related Post: White Supremacy and The Black Family 

Files

Ride or Die: Black Women and Intimate Partner Violence

Get more content like this at patreon.com/intelexualmedia. That's also where you'll find sources for this video.

Comments

Evan Webber

My first experience with domestic violence was being woke up at 3 or 4 in the morning by my mother & her telling me to get my baseball bat because my uncle was trying to break into my aunt's house after physically assaulting her the day before and leaving. My aunt called my mother and she grabbed her pistol and we went over & my uncle was there drunk, banging & kicking on the door. We both got out the car & he was coming towards us until my mom pulled her gun out & told him to leave before she killed him. He eventually left after cussing at us but he knew my mother would kill him if he came closer to us. My aunt stayed with us a few nights but later my mother found out that she let him back in the household. She never called us again for help but my uncle was terrified of my mother afterwards. I was probably 11 or 12 at the time but I always remembered that. I will never forget that night because my mother was willing to kill him to protect her older sister, I remember her talking to me for a long time afterwards during the ride home but we never brought his abusive behavior even years after his passing.

Evan Webber

Our ages was young but it's hard reading stories of younger children seeing & experiencing domestic violence from someone that was supposed to love them. Thank you for bringing attention to these issues. Moms is definitely a G lol.