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What Other People Are Not Telling You.... (Understanding The Johari Window) - Smarter Every Day 314 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-11 14:16:13
Edited:
2026-04-11 17:40:54
Imported:
2026-09

Content

This is quite a fascinating topic. I'd love to hear what you think. Also, I'll provide a link to a Printable Johari window on this post in just a bit!

Thank you so much to everyone who supports Smarter Every Day on Patreon!

Printable Johari Window is here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/155355065

Destin

Files

What Everyone Sees... But I don't (The Johari Window) - Smarter Every Day 314

A big thanks to KiwiCo for sponsoring this video! And sending me a rocket! Gift curiosity to kids by clicking here 👉 https://kiwico.com/smarter 👈 Click here if you're interested in subscribing: http://bit.ly/Subscribe2SED Printable Johari Window: https://www.patreon.com/posts/printable-johari-155355065?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link ⇊ Click below for more links! ⇊ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GET SMARTER SECTION Daylan's Website: https://www.daylanwoodall.com/ Daylan wrote and article that talks about the Johari Window https://daylanwoodall.substack.com/p/living-not-merely-existing Johari Window https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window Here's one of the earliest papers I can find on the Johari Window: https://ombuds.columbia.edu/sites/ombuds.columbia.edu/files/content/pics/30%20Anniv/The%20Johari%20window_A%20graphic%20model%20of%20awareness%20in%20interpersonal%20relations.pdf ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tweet Ideas to me at: http://twitter.com/smartereveryday Smarter Every Day on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SmarterEveryDay Smarter Every Day on Patreon http://www.patreon.com/smartereveryday Smarter Every Day On Instagram http://www.instagram.com/smartereveryday Ambiance, audio and musicy things by: Gordon McGladdery https://www.ashellinthepit.com/ http://ashellinthepit.bandcamp.com/ If you feel like this video was worth your time and added value to your life, please SHARE THE VIDEO! If you REALLY liked it, feel free to pitch a few dollars Smarter Every Day by becoming a Patron. http://www.patreon.com/smartereveryday Warm Regards, Destin

Comments

Mikkel Hansen

Yes! No better way to end a Saturday 📷🇩🇰 then a smartereveryday video ❤️

Timothy T.

Now the PDF makes way more sense...

George Reese

War Eagle Destin. Good work on the video!

Lorin Kaney

That is very thought provoking! Thanks for sharing your journey to learning more about self. It is very motivating for me. I’ve always said that some of my closest friends are the ones who are willing to call me out on things or point out blind spots.

Andria

Oooooh… So this is what that is called. This is something I think about all the time in the context of the different types of relationships I have, and how I perceive myself and how others perceive me within the context of those relationships. I wonder what can I do to do better. Of course there’s a framework, lol. Not that I think of myself as an original thinker of ideas, just that I’m amused at myself for not thinking of researching it. Granted, we’re all busy, yes? I work in academia, which can have very defined ways of perceiving those around you. I didn’t recognize that for a couple of years because where I was/am didn’t have those entrenched roles. It was a lightbulb moment when I realized it. “Oh! This is how others not only perceive my role, but also how my college as a whole is perceived.” I have also learned in my time in academia is how my self perception is completely inaccurate in some ways; how I internalized others’ inaccurate perceptions of me and believed they were (are) true. Something I appreciate about you, sir, is that you, like me, recognize this. This is why the Johari window resonated with you so much. And why I’m printing the pdf you attached and putting on my desk here at home. Thank you for being you.

MarkOH Branstetter

The Johari window was a part of a larger "systems thinking" training I went through at work. Excellent tool for candid conversations about yourself and others. Requires vulnerability.

Jeremy J.

Thank you for sharing this. An important challenge for all of us with a tool that engineers can understand! If you would like to do a follow up interview on the epidemic of loneliness I recommend prior Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. I'm sure you can get your own introduction, but if you are interested and I can help, just let me know. He also wrote a book called "Together". Great start to my day today, thank you for leading through vulnerability!

Timothy Thiele

I enjoy my para social relationship with this Destin. Next time I see him IRL I will be sure to let him know that it's not a big deal for me to cross that restaurant and say "Hi" so he doesn't have to stress about it as much as he was in this video. Also thanks so much for introducing us to your "Professor" friend that you didn't know, his vest looked great on him!

Lloyd DeKay

From an engineering viewpoint, I think that purposely expanding into the Blind Spot AND the Facade realms will likely lead to expansion into the Unknown realm. That's obviously what you've done your entire life, so don't fear the Blind Spot, the Facade, nor the Unknown... that's how you grow as a person. It's very thoughtful and humble of you to share to share not only the concepts of the JoHari Window, but also the revelations to and of yourself that you shared in the video. By the way, you have a great friend and teacher in the wonderful Rev. Dr. Would that we all could have a close relationship with such a thoughtful and insightful person, but we do have a relationship with you, which I feel is much the same.

Joe A Powell

My VISTAGE CEO peer learning group met monthly with great group of unrelated business leaders and with Jim Jelinek, our Group Chair. At each month’s meeting I learned more about myself and how to manage my closely held business. Since each member of a VISTAGE Group has an oath of confidentiality we openly shared our business issues and personal life problems. We helped each other with our common wisdom and hard fought lessons learned in our own lives. This Group has been better than 3-years of law school in helping each of us become better servant leaders in our respective business, our communities and in our families!

Mark Sundstrom

Wow, your friend nailed it, very interesting. Had never heard of this before but makes a lot of sense.

xPedrox

Hey Destin - FYI, the video on YouTube currently appears to contain a typo in the title: "How to Become More Self Awarev- Smarter Every Day 314". I can't wait to watch it!

Bartosz Błaszkiewicz

We have a saying in Poland: one can see a splinter in someone else's eye, but can't see a log in ones own eye. Now it's a saying so let's ignore a physical impossibility of having a log in your eye. If I'm right, most people treat this saying as pointing out a failure. It manifests as a request not to criticise someone else until you yourself are a paragon of perfection in the aspect in question. But I think it's the other way round. This is how we function. This is the reality that cannot be denied. First we must admit it. Then accept it. Finally - we can use it? How? If you accept that others see your failures that you're not aware of, you must learn to take criticism so that you may learn your failures and then work on fixing them. It's the same lesson you propose in this video.

Chad Donohue

Thank you, Destin. I love how curious you are and your willingness to bring us along and then teach us what you learn. I also love how you explain what and why you’re curious about something, almost like spreading a curiosity rash and then you help the viewer scratch that itch. (Not a great metaphor, but here we are lol) I think it says a great deal about who you are and how you share yourself that people will cross that chasm and come to you.

Bartosz Błaszkiewicz

I knew you're a cristian, but I never let this cloud my judgement of you. I can see you are smart, enthusiastic about science/engineering and dedicated to the truth. But when you start mixing in your faith into you explanations it makes me uneasy.

smartereveryday

Fixed thanks! I'm in the weird period where I have to change the thumbnails and stuff to see what works. I don't like this part!

Barron B

It’s also worth noting that what others know about you changes based on the environment of the relationship. A professional relationship vs a personal relationship. I try to be who I am in general despite the environment. However there are aspects of my personality that are restrained due to professionalism in the work environment. Depending on the depth of this difference someone may view either one of these as being “who they are”. So a coworker may view me as being a jerk because of the way I approach the work environment and that stress the relationship. They absolutely will not share their perspective of who you are and it leaves you in the dark. If you care about that feedback you have to make sure to properly foster those relationships. It’s why personal and professionally I am very similar and I try to just be who I am.

Bartosz Błaszkiewicz

Science is a method for uncovering the truth. It's not a straight way. On the contrary - it's a winding and meandering road. But ultimately it let's us home in on the truth by weeding out the falseness including some that we previously held to be true (i.e. Newton's dynamics). Faith is a collection of statements that one assume to be true without much evidence. Ones parents teach those statements to their children in good faith id you pardon my expression. Since humans are social (tribal?) creatures it is very hard to admit any of those statements to be false as that would place one in a position of a heretic or apostate and religions usually shuned such people. In ye olden days™ being expelled from your community was a postponed death sentence. Now, this does not make your faith false (other things do, but they're irrelevant for this discussion) but it does make any faith statements irrelevant to explaining how the world (including ourselves) works and why. When you talk about science and engineering I feel I can trust you. Being an engineer myself I can verify some things you talk about and they are usually true. But when you bring your faith into it I know I have to be on my guard.

kevin

I subscribe specifically because you've brilliantly manufactured the feel of a friend who provides escort into the unknowns. I spent my childhood being ushered through faith, and ultimately decided that there were too many unknowns or agreed upon assumptions that shaped the faith of the teachers. What I find fascinating and comforting about you, Destin, is that you have the ability to decode so many of the unknowns in such a clear, succinct, and entertaining way, and once you get right up to the wall of unexplainable things, you're able to elegantly hand the want-of-control-and-understanding to your faith, but you don't force it upon anybody. You simply calibrate the audience to your information set, and advance to the solvable. You are like the light in my side mirrors that illuminate when a concept is in MY blind spot...and I hope you comprehend, and further accept, that I (along with others in your audience) appreciate the lessons that are uncomfortable...ushered by a friend in which you have so much in common. More Windows please! This was yet another great video!

Joshua Crowell

I'm autistic with ADHD, and in case you didn't know, us autistic people often naturally view and approach the Hidden and Blind Spot areas with excitement and exploration rather than with vulnerability and discomfort. Hearing somebody making observation about something in our hidden areas feels loving and comforting, not scary, because our actual thoughts and feelings are so rarely understood or truly known by another person. Most of us also have a natural curiosity to learn all things previously unknown to us, and so we often are excited to go into the blind spot area AND the unknown area. And we typically have a natural inclination to share what we might perceive others to not know or not understand, which is leads to a lifelong battle to avoid oversharing. It also holds the assumption that others don't already understand the things we feel we need to share with them, and accepting the fact that many people understand more than we realize is another lifelong battle. Destin, thank you for sharing this. God bless you, brother in Christ, I love you man!

Trey Smith

Thanks Destin & SED team.

Don Rude

This is great Destin! Thank you for being open and vulnerable! Exploration, new experiences, and building relationships with new people who are different are great and yet prayer , asking the infinite source of wisdom is such a better answer

Ian Rampey

i just have to say i love the bible verse at the end of your vids i have made it a habit to go read that after each of your videos love the content thank so much

Deborah Larson

Hi Destin - we love your channel and this one just hit the at the right time. We lost my son in law last May - he and I watched your channel - and this one I am adding to my mental health journal as it combines my faith with a structured healing. Thank you so much. I also want to say huge thanks for the stickers - my husband said hey why you getting stuff from Destin and I said I'm special. You make me smile and I appreciate you. Bless you and your family.

Nathan Shearer

One of the things that I admire about Destin is that he puts his genuine self into his videos. I don't suspect he has a science self and faith self, but just him as he is. And he always engages with evident care for people that will disagree with him (whether it be in the faith or in the science). That care tells me: he's not hiding who he is, nor adapting to the most common viewpoints. It's genuine, and I value his respect for us and his respect for himself.

Daniel Ryan

Hey Destin, I love the shift to talking about emotions and introspection for a change! I put this comment on Youtube, but thought I would share here as well: I think you (and everyone else) is afraid of their blind spot, because it breaks the facade that we know ourselves. I think the "Unknown Unkown" is more easily accepted, because we accept we cannot know all things, but what scares us is that someone else knows ourselves better than we know ourselves, when most people would say they know themselves extremely well. It's like when you have your shirt tucked into your underwear, and everyone else knows it except for you - truly terrifying!

Simon Law

We should remind ourselves to think about people complexly. What we see from the outside is only a fraction of what they really are. In making this video, Dustin is being especially vulnerable because he is trying to show more of himself than we normally see, just to illustrate his point. We shouldn’t trust Dustin because some of his statements are verifiable and we shouldn’t be guarded because some of them are rooted in his belief system. Dustin is one person and those are inseperable facets of the same person. Dustin, I see you as someone who is excited to share the journey of discovery. That’s why I support your Patreon. As you explore topics that are more humane, it may be helpful to add more diverse voices so that your audience can find someone they can identify with.

Bartosz Błaszkiewicz

Let me repeat: I'm uneasy when Destin mixes his faith into his explanations. Otherwise - its just another thing about him that comes with the package but has no bearing on how I see him.

Elayna Simmons

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this, Destin. I want to grow my "area" with trusted relationships too, and I so appreciate your vulnerability in having your friend expose some blind spots for you. It's so encouraging to see someone like you who I have long looked up to continuing to seek growth and self awareness.

Don C

Interestingly, that saying is also found in the Bible, Matthew 7:3-5.

kpw

Easily one of the best video you’ve ever made. And that’s saying something given the bar you set. Thanks so much for sharing this conversation and your friendship with Rev. Daylan.

ROP's Playbook

I'm not really commenting round here at all, but after watching the video, finding Mr. Woodall's substack page and reading his side of the article. Both your video and his article really put my mind at work and I fully thank you both for that. I'll leave my insights from the substack comments also here. It is a great subject to be explored further, which I definitely will: If the public window is what it's apparent to us and others... seems to me it is also the window where we can create and impact this world, aka make a difference! As only here you can create from what you have, from what you know of yourself (like this video) and influence others that choose to take part and, thus, get to know you. And this window has so much potential, especially because of the sacrifice needed of us to get to expand it (as you put it). But there is more here... through the act of opening up, others start listening more closely and finding more relatable aspects, thus your impact on this world grows. Same on the other side, if you humble yourself so much that you listen, you find aspects within you to improve, thus your influence becomes that much more potent. And finally, by building both of these, new aspects will become apparent to you from the unknown. But not without God. And why Him? Why do we need to appeal to Him and His truth? (e.g. the prayer mentioned) I love the idea that He is more than our creator... He is our, and this world's, this reality, Arhitect (matrix anyone) 🙃. So, of course that, when we get to know the Architect, we get to find new things about us and this world. Of course this is revelatory to us! Praise Him for giving us a window into the unknown unknown... now that is Potential! God bless you! & Thanks for the cool lesson and for making me think more about it. (and thanks to Mr. Woodall too) 😁 I will definitely explore this in an article of my own on substack... seems this can be tied with Game Development and playing Games a lot.

Dave Muth

That was a fun one, thanks! I think introspection helps us to figure out unknown unknowns. And in general, it's usually a good thing.

Stephen Gilliland

The "blind spot" he pointed out, that you highly value personal human relationships in a way that is rare in the younger generation, is the reason you're my favorite YouTuber. There are thousands of science and engineering channels out there. But what has always struck me is in all of your videos, you are genuinely interested in every person you meet, fascinated by their knowledge and their work, and so humble and respectful of what they bring to the table in spite of your own impressive resume. It reminds me as an engineer that building those connections and valuing the best qualities of others is so much more important than maximizing my knowledge and skills. I'm excited to see what you'll continue to put out and how you'll use your gifting to share the love of God!

Arron Powell

Interesting that according to the thumbnail, apparently nobody knows the bottom left quadrant of your face..

George Kelly

I'm surprised you didn't put "Smarter Every Day" in the Unknowns box. The whole channel is about learning the things you don't know, then sharing it with other people that don't know it!

Chdmorrison

This was a very interesting side to see of you. I think Daylan touched on something. What you do here is important to people, myself included. The way to explain science is addicting and enjoyable. I remember being in science class in high school and although I enjoyed exploring electricity and computer science on my own I couldn't get into it in class because of how it was taught. The way you go about it I'm excited every time a video is released and I'm a little sad every time I get to end because I enjoy watching it. I will pull up your channel and watch the videos with my kids instead of main stream entertainment and I find myself watching the video multiple times or scrolling through them back to parts I found interesting. One thing I don't know if you grasp that Daylan hit on is exactly how much impact you have on people. I have two people I have wanted to meet in person. Robin Williams and yourself. There are some personal aspects to that I'm not really interested in sharing publicly, but I have changed how I think about things and treat people based on your videos. I've said it in the past and I'll reiterate it again. Keep making content you love for as long as you love it. It is making the world better one video at a time. I'd love to have a deeper conversation with you one day when the opportunity presents itself!

Gwen Reeves

Thanks. Now I'm worried about my blind spots. lol. Listening to you discuss the blind spots we have reminds me of the time when someone complimented me on a quality I didn't know I had. It was very weird and awkward. Made me realize that people tell us our blind spots without knowing it's a blind spot more than we realize. And then my brain connected with how the Spirit nudges us in our blind spots, which makes it uncomfortable because you don't know it's a thing you have, and you are being asked to use this quality. My brain hurts now (in a good way) as it connects dots that hadn't occurred to me before. Thanks for Smarter Every Day, Destin. I appreciate your work!

Andrew Bowns

I love how they point out that to go into the unknown you need God and Faith. I also think you need to have faith to get outside your comfort zone. You can only learn about yourself and let others learn something new about you if you actually do something new. It reminds me of the old adage that the gospel is "to comfort the afflicted and aflict the comfortable" This is the reason I follow a few other channels with mantras like "seek discomfort" it's to help me grow into that unknown.

Wonderful Wawb

I felt that "blind spot anxiety" as well... beside the ego/self esteem of it all ("what if I'm not as cool as I think I am?"), I also have the anxiety of "what have I done to others?" A healthy and open relationship wouldn't have that, but most of my relationships are ... acquaintances... who would probably be less comfortable telling me about my blind spots. So, less "what if I'm not cool" and more "what if I'm a monster?" Could be just me. :-) This is a great video! Thank you for sharing.

Ben Northrup

This is about a self-awareness, but there is a missing square that is very important. It is: What Other people Know about us that Isn't True. Your friend is so right about relationships being most important. Our society is ill and it is our responsibility to be aware and self-aware. We can't heal if we let lies win. I recommend Hidden Brain as it digs deep into our limitations.

JW King

Much to digest in this video. Being in a non-engineering career but having an engineering degree and mindset, white guy in a diverse world,... ignorant of impact on others... all of that hits home. I'm struck by your thought experiment of how to move information between the panes of the Johari window. Your visual technique was to imagine the dividers moving ("muntins" if it was an actual window.) I'm struggling with that image. It implies that it is possible to move the divider and thereby expose an entire slice of knowledge at once. Either vertically down to add a horizontal slice of the Façade to the Arena, or horizontally to the right to add a vertical slice of the Blind Spot to the Arena. But the diagram geometry implies that by doing that, you are necessarily exposing a portion of the Unknown at the same time - that by being vulnerable to share information in the Façade, you are also exposing part of the unknown to others as well, increasing the Blind Spot. Or by engaging those you trust to learn information in your Blind Spot, you are also learning information in the Unknown at the same time. This second idea is much easier for me to digest. When someone tells me something about me that I didn't know, I can combine it with things they don't know to recognize patterns and added info beyond what they know. The first idea is what makes me want to puke. That every time I share some private information, feeling or thought, the person I share with is learning even more than what I am telling them... information which they might or might not share with me. They can use information in my Blind Spot to create more information in my Blind Spot, proportional to the amount of information I share. It gives me the screaming heeby-jeebies just thinking about it.

Malcom Mal Reynolds

This is good; thank you for this. It reminds me also that our internal self-the way we perceive ourselves is “different” than what others perceive us. That’s not say we are bring deceptive to others, but no one really knows our “true” self except for Jesus. That’s both comforting and terrifying. Yet, as we surrender our lives, our selves to Jesus, he knows us, knows how utterly sinful we are, yet still loves us unconditionally anyway.

Robert Kitcey

Hi — nice episode. This window thing can be a real ear worm. One meta angle this episode got me thinking about is how the Johari Window’s implications holographically transform once you include *false* beliefs about a you to the matrix. Not just what’s known or unknown, but what’s wrong yet still socially and/or personally operative. These can land in different quadrants depending on who believes them and whether you’re aware of them. Unwarranted self‑doubt or inflated self‑importance distort the Hidden self. Rumors, envy, projection, and prejudice sit in the Blind Spot. Mutually accepted but inaccurate narratives—roles, reputations, myths—bleed into the Open area. And then there’s the ambient layer outside the model entirely: socially circulating misconceptions neither party endorses but that still shape the environment. Once you factor in these layers, the Johari Window stops being a tidy self‑help diagram and becomes a map of epistemic distortion. Identity shows up as something negotiated across truths, errors, projections, and inherited narratives. Misunderstanding becomes predictable rather than accidental. Power becomes visible because some people’s beliefs “stick” more than others. And self‑knowledge becomes probabilistic—shaped by the interplay between what’s true, what’s believed, and what’s merely repeated. For me, this expanded view gives the model a kind of higher‑definition texture. It captures not just what we know about ourselves and each other, but the misbeliefs that quietly structure our social lives. It’s a richer, more realistic picture of how identity actually works in the wild. Examples including: • Unwarranted Inferiority Narratives • Inflated Self‑Assessment • Internalized Prejudice • Outdated Self‑Story • Misattributed Guilt • Rumors and Slander • Projection‑Based Misreadings • Envy‑Driven Narratives • Prejudicial Assumptions • Misinterpreted Intentions • Unexamined Reputation • Role‑Based Myths • Collective Overestimation • Collective Underestimation • Cultural Stereotypes • Algorithmic Misconceptions • Inherited Community Myths • Misattributed Group Traits • Propaganda If anyone’s explored a multi‑layer version of the Johari Window or a belief‑state model, I’d be curious to hear it. I’m already imagining the research and the paper(s) I might write on this but have no time to for all the other work. Imagining informative diagnostic tools for marital relationship, management counseling and other applications. There seems something inherently viral about this window. lol Thanks for sharing it. I feel a little smarter today.

Caitlin

Please I'm new here can I know what's going on

Caitlin

Wow....I always love your comment

Caitlin

Wow.... that's great 👏👏🥰

Caitlin

This are one of the reason why I always love his vedio

Caitlin

I really love his channel

Caitlin

Exactly same here this is my first time hearing this and this is one of the reason why I love his channel

Matt W

Ok but this concept generalises to knowledge - not only about oneself, but to knowledge - about anything.

Matt W

This concept is cute but has many blind spots about the nature of knowledge.

Matt W

Knowledge is a process. It is continually updated, refreshed and reorganised. Knowledge times out on different time scales. Knowledge is highly context dependent. These ideas and many more needed to be factored in.

Matt W

All that "hype" around technology, religious faith and individualism is the system helping to stabilise and reproduce itself. I'm not trying to be offensive or sensationalist, and I'm not certainly not contradicting their relevance. Rather, I'm saying there are more layers to peel away to get at the underlying structures. Focusing on technology, for example, is a somewhat superficial way we are encouraged to think dominant culture in order to miss what's been going on over the decades.

Richard Bailey

Stimulating video, Thanks Destin! Just a thought about that para-social relationship phenomenon: If a relationship is like a bridge between two people, then the relationships people feel with creators is like an optical illusion of a bridge drawn on a sidewalk. From the perspective of the viewer it looks like a well engineered and safe bridge (the one you draw appears especially safe because your projected personality is so genuine) from your perspective perhaps it’s a different picture all together. Just a thought I had watching your video, something I think about often when watching my favourite creators.

Killianti

Prayer forces introspection just like most other forms of meditation, and introspection is one great way to move knowledge from the blind and unknown panes into the arena and façade panes.

Stephen Gilliland

This is a great point about "what others know about us that isn't true". I think the fear of other people misconstruing me is one of the reasons I tend to stay more private. The sentiment of "I could try to explain who I am, but you're different than me so you will not understand." It might be a pride thing or an underestimation of how well others can empathize, but even when I do open up I can't quite shake that feeling.

Ben Northrup

A friend of mine believes in conspiracy theories. We both believe the other is duped . I told her how scary that is but also that I worry about her. She can't see it but is still my friend.

David Atwood

I have to know if Daylan has ever encountered Dr. Joe Conner or his book. I met him at my church one day and like half of the words coming out of Daylan's mouth feel like they are straight out of my conversations with Dr. Conner. His book is called "Critical Perspective: Understanding an Opinion That's Not Your Own."