Inconceivable Ch. 40 (Invincible AU) (Patreon)

(Every character depicted in the story below is a consenting legal adult over the age of 18)

A/N: Nolan handles a certain situation. No big deal…

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As Nolan flies through Earth’s upper atmosphere, he exhales and then inhales deeply, filling his lungs up with fresh oxygen just before entering the vacuum of space.

Admittedly, he’d rather not be doing this right now. He and Debbie had been working on themselves for the past several weeks and Nolan liked where they were at… but this was interrupting a date night. Not to mention, Argan had told him all about what he intended to tell Maya before they returned from Mars and Nolan knew today was the day they should have gotten back.

He’d wanted to make himself available for his daughter, just in case she had any questions. Sure it would require them going to space or Flaxa to make sure they weren’t overheard by Cecil or the GDA, but still, he was more than willing to be a sounding board for her.

Alas, duty called. In this case, a rather old duty as a matter of fact… and one that really only Nolan could possibly handle.

The ‘alien invader’ currently bearing down on Earth was a Unopan, though he was easily the strongest, bulkiest Unopan that Nolan had ever heard of. More than that, he’d shown up on Earth a few times before, the most recent being three years ago. Each time, Nolan had been the one to send him packing and every time except for the first, he’d gone ahead and sent him packing alone.

This was because the first time around, the Unopan had made planetfall and managed to get into a tussle with the Guardians of the Globe. He’d handed them their asses in what was frankly the most embarrassing moment in the group’s history. Nolan had wound up tackling him off planet before he could do too much more damage, which had quickly resulted in the guy flying off shortly after.

From there, it had become obvious that the guy was just looking for a good fight and as soon as he got one, he was happy to leave. So Nolan gave him his fights, sent him on his way, and went about his business.

There was just one problem with that strategy now… the other Viltrumites on Earth. See, Nolan might not know this particular Unopan’s life story or where he’d come from, but he did know one thing… the Unopans and Viltrumites had history together.

Namely, the same history that most of the galaxy had with the Viltrumite Empire. One of conquest, a teensy bit of genocide, and a whole lot of subjugation. Except unlike a lot of their conquered species, the Unopans hadn’t given up. Their technology was advanced enough that they’d gone ahead and bided their time, waited a few decades, and then tried to rebel.

And when that had inevitably failed (because of course it did), hundreds of Unopans had fled to the stars and spread out, proving to be a passing nuisance to the Viltrumite Empire to this day. Well, not to this day… not anymore. The Viltrumite Empire didn’t exist to be annoyed by them any longer.

However, this particular Unopan could potentially prove to be quite the threat to their cause. If he found out that the Viltrumites were on Earth and was able to pass that message back to whoever he worked for, the humans that Nolan and his people needed to rebuild their population would be in incredible danger.

So really, Nolan should just kill this Unopan, regardless of who he was. He should end him once and for all and hope that whoever sent him wouldn’t come looking. Simple as that, really.

Only, there were two problems with that idea. First and foremost, if whoever sent him did come looking, then killing the Unopan could have the same disastrous effect of exposing them as letting him live. Secondly… secondly, Nolan could only imagine how Debbie would react if she knew the full details and that he took the alien’s life when he didn’t have to. And that… that gave him pause.

Not so much pause that the Unopan actually gets the drop on him, of course. Oh, the one-eyed orange-skinned alien certainly tries. As Nolan is floating there above Earth, the Unopan comes swooping in from his blind spot, trying to catch him off guard.

Yo! Long time no see-urk!

Nolan whips around before his opponent can close his arms around him and buries his fist in the Unopan’s stomach, hitting him harder than he’s ever hit him before. Not hard enough to kill, however. Not yet.

Ohhh fuuuuck…

The Unopan floats back, groaning as he doubles over in pain. Nolan doesn’t take advantage of his weakness though, instead he crosses his arms over his chest.

You need to leave. And this time, you will NOT come back.

To the alien’s credit (and Nolan’s annoyance) he recovers with admirable swiftness. Lifting himself up, he lets out a mental laugh and shakes his head.

Haha! Wow you hit harder! You got a lot stronger in the past three years, didn’t you? This’ll be fun!

Nolan hadn’t gotten stronger, of course. He’d simply been holding back before. For most of his time on Earth, Nolan had held back a lot. Not overly much, not to the point where he lost or anything like that. But he couldn’t let even his so-called ‘comrades’ know his true strength. And if he’d gone all out against this Unopan from the start, he might have exposed himself as a Viltrumite, which obviously wasn’t acceptable.

Still, right now with his opponent unknowingly on the knife’s edge between life and death, Nolan isn’t holding back anymore. Not as much anyways. Instead, he’s deciding whether or not to kill the alien in front of him.

As the Unopan lunges at him once more, Nolan easily dodges his haymaker-like fists… and lashes out with a kick that slams into the Unopan and sends him pinwheeling away from Earth. Keeping his arms crossed over his chest, he nevertheless flies after the alien man, easily keeping pace and slamming both feet into his chest before he can properly right himself.

The blow sends him right into Earth’s Moon, the place where Argan and Maya were having their conversation just a few hours ago. That was a little bit horrifying to think about. They’d been that close to this Unopan showing up and seeing his daughter and the Grand Regent together. Would he have recognized Argan for the Viltrumite he was? He hadn’t recognized Nolan, but who could say really?

Regardless, following the Unopan down to the Moon, Nolan grabs him by the throat while he’s still dazed and recovering. And then he punches him, once, twice, thrice. Each punch slams his opponent’s head back into the lunar rock beneath it, until a trickle of blood comes out of the Unopan’s nose.

W-Wait… t-time out!

The absurdity of the words is what honestly makes Nolan pause. He blinks and then furrows his brow in consternation.

Excuse me? Did you just… call for a time out?

Groaning mentally, the Unopan nods.

Yes… please… its part of the rules…

What fucking rules? Thoroughly baffled now, Nolan nevertheless decides to hear the alien out. He could always end him after the fact, after all. Slowly, the Unopan sits up, looking thoroughly out of sorts as he rests his elbows on his knees.

Okay… can we just… sit for a moment? Take a breather.

Nolan rolls his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest again, glaring down at the Unopan imperiously.

No. Like I said before, you need to leave and never return. This is no longer your training grounds.

Staring up at him blearily and with visible confusion, the Unopan shakes his head.

What? Training grounds… I’m an evaluation officer from the Coalition of Planets! Your planet asked for me!

… They’d done no such thing. Cecil Stedman was the human most ‘in the know’ when it came to extraterrestrial threats and the nature of the greater galaxy. Nolan would know if the man had asked for this ‘Coalition of Planets’ to come and evaluate Earth. Nolan himself had only vaguely heard of what the Unopan was talking about anyways… and he’s more glad than ever that he’s hid his true nature as a Viltrumite from the alien man.

The Coalition, after all, were Viltrumite Enemies.

Earth didn’t ask for you. And even if we did, we no longer have need of your services. So you can go tell your bosses that we passed your evaluation and don’t need any further help.

Mentally groaning and rubbing the back of his head, the Unopan frowns.

Are you absolutely sure about that? Do you even have the authority to speak on behalf of your planet like this? You can’t just cancel spur of the moment anyways; you have to send a proper delegate to- hang on a second… what did you say?

Nolan stares. Had he hit the Unopan too hard? Was he suffering from short-term memory loss now.

… Go tell your bosses that we no longer have need of your services.

But the Unopan shakes his head.

No, um… before that.

Frowning deeply, Nolan mentally growls.

Earth didn’t ask for you.

Reaching behind him, the Unopan pulls out a tablet and pulls up some information on it. Then, he turns it around to show Nolan.

You mean ‘Urath’, right? Please tell me you’re just pronouncing it wrong…

There, on the tablet, as plain as day, is the depiction of a planet… with the header ‘Urath’. Urath. Not Earth. That… seriously?!

No, I’m not pronouncing the name of the planet wrong! That world over there is EARTH. Not Urath! You’ve been attacking the wrong planet for over a decade, Unopan!

Wincing, the Unopan mentally groans again.

Oh I am going to get in so much trouble for this…

Nolan, meanwhile, finds himself marveling at the alien’s stupidity. How did you get so fucking turned around that you found yourself fighting on the wrong planet? Who could possibly have such a terrible sense of direction?

So uh… first of all, the name’s Allen by the way. Nice to meet you properly after all this time. Also hey… not attacking, I’ve been evaluating, okay? I just… I must have missed a right turn or something somewhere back there…

The Unopan, apparently named ‘Allen’, slowly rises to his feet, putting away his tablet and holding up his two-fingered hands in the universal gesture of ‘my bad dude’.

My bad, dude. I really fucked up… I can own that. And frankly, I get why you trained so hard these past three years. Like holy shit you got a LOT stronger, all because you thought I was some alien invader trying to take over your planet. Massive props on that front but… uh, no harm, no foul?

He makes a point of swinging his one large eye up and down Nolan’s untouched form at that. Because yeah, to be fair… Allen hadn’t done a lick of damage to Nolan. He hadn’t even gotten a chance this time around. And frankly, every previous fight they had was similarly harmless. Sure Nolan had sandbagged a lot more and made the Unopan think he was actually winning at times, but it wasn’t like it was that big of a deal.

Although…

I’m missing date night with my wife right now because of you.

Allen’s singular eye widens at that and he does the alien equivalent of blanching as he glances back at the planet.

Oof… sorry about that. Uh, I could come back with you and explain things to her maybe? So she knows it’s not your fault?

No. That will not be necessary.

For a variety of reasons, the last thing Nolan wanted was for the Unopan to actually come to Earth’s surface. At the same time… he’s just so stupid it’s frankly impossible to continue treating him as a threat. Allen hadn’t even come to the right planet… so in the end, killing him probably would do more harm than good, wouldn’t it? Better to just let him leave and tell his ‘Coalition’ not to bother with Earth.

With that in mind…

I’m called Omni-Man. Earth is under the protection of both myself and many others. We do not require evaluations. We do not require assistance. I must ask you to leave us in peace from here on out.

Allen slowly nods, looking downright dejected, his shoulders slumping.

… Yeah, that’s fair enough. Sorry again for the uh… ‘accidentally attacking you’ thing. I promise it won’t happen again.

Sparing once glance at Earth, Allen sighs.

Earth… not Urath. I am getting in so much trouble for this…

With that he lifts off of the surface of the Moon and begins to fly away from Earth. Nolan watches him go for a moment… and frankly, he should probably escort him out of the solar system entirely, just to make sure he actually leaves.

… But that would just make him even later to his date night with Debbie. And so, after a few more seconds Nolan turns and blasts off of the Moon as well, heading back to Earth.

At least that was taken care of. Argan would understand why Nolan had left Allen alive, surely. And the Grand Regent would be pleased that they’d successfully kept their larger presence on Earth hidden for the time being.

They had, after all, intended to hide out on Earth for centuries with everyone else in the greater galaxy being none the wiser. How embarrassing would it be if they were discovered in mere months?

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A/N: Haha, yeah…

Throw me a comment if you can but please leave a Like if you don’t want to, it’s the main metric I use to track whether a story is doing well or not!

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Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cLToKGsMZsK26a6vvU7LuBLyoIldbJc5ZN5B-JDEQoU/edit?tab=t.0