Rewriting AMR Book 2 (Patreon)

Hi everyone! I hope you’re staying safe and healthy.

I’ve been working a lot on the Arcadia cast scenes for the upcoming update, wrapping up their individual character arcs as we’re headed to the Arcadian act (aka Book 2) finale. That process has forced me to confront the characters’ personalities and arcs as a whole, and how their stories are presented throughout the entirety of Book 2. Unfortunately–and it’s a difficult thing to admit–I’m mostly unhappy with how things have turned out thus far, and it's resulting in a pretty serious disillusionment with AMR as a whole.

As such, I’ve decided to take a pretty extreme measure and rewrite much of Book 2, especially surrounding the dialogues of Tahlia, F, and Yu (in that order of magnitude). I began the process near the start of the month, but was hesitant to announce it as I did not yet know if I would end up going through with it. But the more I worked on it, the more I’ve become certain that this measure is a necessary one.

It will be a difficult, time-consuming process, but I believe that rectifying it here will make the rest of the series easier to write (for me) and easier to read (for a lot of you!). Longpost ahead regarding the details of this process (what will be changed, background of my decisions, etc.) but I’ve tried to summarize the important takeaways as such:

AMR Book 2 is currently undergoing a major rewrite, with a focus on scenes involving Tahlia, F, and Yu.

Patreon charging will be paused until the first pass of the rewrite is complete, and another full update is posted on top of that. Based on my current rate of progress, I expect that it will be around 2-3 months from when this post goes up.

Over the course of these 2-3 months, I will not be uploading any updates which progress the story (my sincerest apologies!). To hopefully help tide things over, I’ll be posting commissioned AMR artworks when I can.

On the nature of the rewrite itself: the main objective is to make the Arcadian cast less overtly evil, while still retaining much of the underlying motivations that makes them tick. The general plot of Book 2 will not change from its current state. However, the presentation of the Arcadian side will hopefully make it easier to side with them, even if one isn’t particularly driven by the desire for vengeance. More on this in the longpost below.

The rewrites will largely consist of dialogue edits, though numerous scenes throughout the book will need to be completely demolished and built from the ground up. Scenes with the highest priority include the scene where Tahlia foils the mage and Eli’s escape, as well as Tahlia’s day-off scene near the start of Book 2.

I expect that it will take several passes before the edit is fully implemented and polished, with feedback from playtesting being put into consideration. The second and subsequent passes will be accomplished concurrently with future updates.

When I had begun ideating and writing AMR as a project, I had a very strong desire to create a tyrannical, unapologetic villain, as I myself felt strongly drawn to these characters in the media I consume. I appreciated it when antagonists were cut and dry (Kafka of Final Fantasy VI is perhaps one of my favorite characters of all time), and I’ve often found myself fascinated by media that allows you to play the villain (my playtime on the Pokemon rom hack Pokemon Rocket Edition, where you play as a member of the antagonist group, likely exceeds my playtime on Pokemon Fire Red, the original game it is built on). It is these preferences that largely inform Arcadia as a concept, though I’ve tried to build it upon more nuanced motivations than its inspirations. For those out there who shared the same inclinations as me, I’d hoped to create for them a clearly antagonistic group–though perhaps one with noble goals–and grant them the option to join in on their escapades.

The keyword here being option.

Enter Book 2, a mammoth which had initially been a 30-50k-word segment at the tail end of Book 1 and has since ballooned completely beyond expectations. A segment in which the choice to side with Arcadia is taken away from you, and you are forced to endure the (arguably morally gray) villainy Arcadia performs on the regular, and endure the cast’s disapproval and oppression should you offer resistance. I tried to grant room for players to voice their disapproval and air their grievances, but in the end, the train is quite firmly glued onto the tracks, and even characters like Eli will begin to admonish you for straying from the path.

I had long justified this as being what makes sense for the world, for the cast, and for the story I want to tell. But ultimately, Book 2 being an absolute slog to trod through for a significant portion of the player base has never been something I wanted when I set out writing this project. For obvious reasons, it damages the playing experience of many players. And pertinently for me as a writer, it backs me into a corner where I have to choose between narrative consistency and game design: do I have the characters stay true to their personality, necessitating for even more unpleasant experiences before Book 2 ends? All this right after the Book 1 cast got a huge, largely positive airtime in the recent interlude?

After much deliberation, I’ve decided in the negative. Rather than compromise on either of these aspects, I’d much prefer the laborious process of rewriting Book 2’s central characters altogether.

That being said, I still believe in the bones of AMR, and the necessity of the plot unfolding as it currently does. The current plot points–and admittedly, the railroading that comes with it–are integral to the story as a whole. But I would like for this process to be less torturous for those not already inclined to side with Arcadia, and perhaps even entice them into trying the Arcadian route out on their subsequent playthroughs.

It will be a tricky balancing act. In the ideal end product, these are the changes that I’d like to bring about to the Arcadian cast:

Instead of being an unapologetic, domineering tyrant, I’d like to nuance her as a character that is both powerful and vulnerable. Much about her will remain the same: she will be embittered by the harshness of her experiences, fostering a cynical worldview and general inability to trust the ercei. However, Tahlia nurses both a great grief and a desperate wish, and both of these will be brought much closer to the surface vs. her current portrayal, where these things are buried deep under a veneer of calm, calculated confidence. She will still be prone to bursts of anger, but these will be informed more strongly by frustration and pain, rather than the desire for control and oppression that she so strongly exhibits in the current version.

This will also strongly modify the presentation of her interactions with the mage. While she will still require that the mage perform to the benefit of Arcadia, and those who refuse to do so will still be met with force, the way she approaches these segments will be colored with more resignation and even guilt, as opposed to the current default of absolute callousness.

The current Tahlia keeps her cards close to her chest and reveals little until she absolutely has to (which basically has yet to happen in the current demo). This makes anyone who would sympathize with her background and story unable to do so until the end of Book 2/start of Book 3. In the planned edits, she will be more willing to slip more of her story and motivations through the cracks, hopefully offering some explanation as to the drastic nature of her actions.

The changes that will be made to F are more superficial, having much to do with how much of their true thoughts they let rise to the surface. They will still hold a great amount of initial dislike for the mage and generally disapprove of their choices in Book 1. However, much of this will be kept to themselves. They will be icy and grumpy at the beginning of Book 2, contrary to their current overt antagonism and propensity for low-hanging insults. They will also put forth more significant effort in trying to understand the mage’s point of view, and more willing to reassess their long-held beliefs surrounding the unsalvageable nature of the ercei.

Yu will undergo the most minor changes in this edit. Most of what will be changed has to do with their motivations for being so staunchly in Arcadia’s corner. Currently, they are driven purely by belief that Arcadia’s cause is a just, necessary evil. In the edited version, their decisions will also be informed by sympathy for Tahlia (and F, to a certain extent). Little else about the character will change; they will still be the playful, flirtatious, and occasionally honorable rogue you’ve known them to be.

I apologize once again for the delays in Book 2’s progress. I hope that the rewritten version of Book 2 will be worth your generous patience, and that it will streamline your experience with the series as a whole.

That about wraps it up for this announcement. As always, thank you for supporting the development of A Mage Reborn.