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A New Record (Patreon)

Published:
2025-03-19 16:00:18
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

[Insert joke about Casual Sex vs Ranked Competitive Sex]

Files

Comments

Saph

"True Ending" is a fascinating category

WJ Vikers, a Pleasure

I love yellows permanent :3 expression. It really adds a lot to her character

Peak Fiction Enjoyer

True Ending?? Also damn I never realized ranked competitive sex was so hot 🔥

Slycheddar

I’m not sure how to fit “parry this you filthy casual” in yet, but I’ll figure it out

Evil_Paul

Oh Pink! Always doomed to be self-conscious! 🫶🫶🫶

Ash-and-Flowers

This is hilarious. And its so true that hrt makes it hard to cum

Orannis

I love this. XD

Daniel

Okay, now what's the other Ranger's profiles?

BookTheWyrm

True Ending kills me, that’s incredible

Algirdas

Love it I wonder who else is a category on that site tho... Would love to see some of the records

Penny Dreadfxl

Sending this to my partners in a suggesting manner

That Harper Gal

"I am definitely not going to send this to my FWBs as a challenge", she lied.

CaptainSWC

speedrun dot cum is perfection

Panda

Now let's get SummoningSalt to narrate it.

Jacob Johnson

Glitches allowed would be interesting.

Thunder

Pink: "First, beatings. Then, I'm calling Gray." Yellow: "Gray?! Why?" Pink: "There's at least two of Green's records that I think we can beat with him."

meepsalot

We’ll long as there isn’t porn sports betting otherwise we’re truly doomed

Ozii Sky

God I love this polycue~

Yuki Kazami

This is one of the funniest bits I've ever seen in a porn comic in my life and also lets me know that Spicy is pretty into speedrunning with how specific that UI looks 👀

Sweet Cousin Marney Addams

omg that is HILARIOUS, and this is coming from someone who had stickers made from her nudes and handed them out after casual sex

Pengwnbuster

Because of my meds I can't finish, so I clearly need 4 partners to work to get her to help me out

Atelier Magra

God damn it Yellow, you can't climb even higher in the best girl category, leave something for the rest of the team!

Lordofallcitrus

i think it's funny how yellow has :3 face the entire time

Jason Blackthorn

Well competitive players are sometimes called sweats and there's clearly a lot of sweat going on 🤣

CAMIrish1

The fact there are subcategories is hilarious 🤣

A Bad Mean Man

No offense to people who are in it for the love of the game, but it’s REALLY impressive the times you can get when you start going any%

Senoj Nai

The guffaw this got from me was undignified. Well-earned.

lazymagpie

The title is perfect

Adelaide Kung

The funniest part is that Green still holds the record according to the website

Lady Argentum

That's when both (or all) members climax simultaneously, likely with one or more having those full-body aftershocks that continue even after the main event is complete.

Julian

But before I jerk you off, we gotta talk about P A R A L L E L U N I V E R S E S

Tyric

Blue is 2nd with 9.2 something seconds. Was not expecting that.

Tyric

I would laugh if grey was on the leaderboard already.

Xaq

I've heard that casual sex implies the existence of competitive sex, but *wow* this is taking that concept to lengths I did not know it needed to.

GrapplerGoddess

It's not enough for the content to be incredibly sexy. It's the humor alongside it that keeps me glued to this page XD

Aster

I LOVE THEM 💖💛 (that's so sweet in such a deranged sports way, holy shit they're so cute. they're so funny. they're so hot i love the actirangers)

Daniel S. Mountain

Pink need anti-depressants, or is that just the horomone therapy?

Jamie

WHY am I even with you guys? Didn't we just go over this? you can't cum so easily on your meds so- I KNOW! >_< Maybe w should get Green in here? People are normally relaxed after an orgasm.

Jamie

With the sheer amount of hormones running all over the place from her horndog teammates, I don't think Pink has any trouble getting hormones.

Sengachi

This is absolutely *amazing*.

Sengachi

Estrogen often makes it difficult to get erections, but huh, yeah I suppose she might have also gotten on anti-depressants.

romi ♡

i love this so much

Silver

Appreciating the small details like how she's grinding against her leg while stroking her. 🥴

John Paul Castano

Wait...holdup....WHOS IN THE LEADERBOARDS FOR THE TRUE ENDING% CATEGORY!?!?!

Jamie

Oh shoot, I'm sorry, I didn't know that.

Jamie

Also, just want to say that I absolutely love the drooling, eyes rolled up look on Pink's face.

McZed

SPEEDRUN DOT CUM?! (Also I can comment again? Feckin' heck yes) Also what's True Ending? She admits she loves you in the afterglow? Extended cuddling? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!

Matt Penn

I bet if Blue puts in the work he can shave a solid minute off his time.

lazymagpie

1) I read the title in the Smash Bros Melee announcer voice and cackled. 2) I am curious what the True Ending run entails

TheMineKnight

I love this... so much more than I can put into words. This is both amazing trans representation, as well as an incredibly wholesome post of the sexy variety.

Greg

So uh... there's a recording of that first-place run for it to be valid, yeah?

Greg

What no I'm not fishing for more Green content what gave you that idea

The Angry Optimist

This is so bizarrely wholesome, I love it 😄 Also, Nipple Only category, ooo 👀

Teu M. S.

no you're right and you should say it

AzaChattan

“Tool assisted category” I’m dying

Cole Blackblood

This is both hilarious and wholesome. Can't say they don't care about her! lol

Fable

As a transbian on SSRIs and HRT, this is actually sweet as hell 🥰

Cali veil

It has officially made it the best thing i've ever read.In a long time