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Alien: Romulus (2024)

Full Reaction You can either stream the Full reaction below using the embedded video player, otherwise you can click the 'Download' button which will take you directly to Google Drive, enabling you to save the video to your computer instead. You must provide your own footage to watch alongside the full reactions.

Comments

Ryan

I’ll be wrapped up a bit before I can see this, but I’ll just give a few comments here on how the poll shook out. Very surprised there wasn’t more for Big Fish, which I’ve always been under the impression is one of Burton’s most beloved movies. And I’m crushed that The Wild Robot didn’t make it, since it seemed like such a perfect fit. But I’m very happy with all three that were chosen, especially after a few other sequels got cut off recently. If any of those we’re going to make it in, I’m glad it’s Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. It also would have been nice if both of the greatest horror movies ever made released in the last six months were able to stay on, but after giving it some more thought, it’s probably for the best that Nosferatu didn’t make it given how much you’re affected by scenes of sexual assault.

Ryan

I feel that statement that the first two Alien movies are some of the very best in the genre, and you might as well forget all the others. And the ratio goes further if you include the Predator movies, though they've actually seriously gotten back on track in the last few years (and added a third actor to the list who have been killed by a Terminator, Xenomorph, and Predator). So when Disney announced they were looking to make more after acquiring Fox, my response was "I won't lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies" (see, I can do it too, movie, you're not special). So did they actually pull it off? Well, at least for me, that's a deceptively complicated question that kind of depends on the day you catch me. There's no way in hell I would have been inclined to go easy on it if this had gone up right after I saw Billie Piper as the Doctor (I'm sorry, I'm sorry...BANANA BREAD, what the hell were you thinking?), but right now, I'm on the other side. Because everything you say in its praise is true, the atmosphere, the performances, the neat twists on canon...but it all comes along with just two creative decisions that are so insanely wrongheaded that they come close to wrecking the whole thing, and I can only hope anyone who follows this film takes note on how badly the fans took them. One point where they definitely made the best possible choice was setting the movie inside the 57 years between Alien and Aliens, and thus wiping out any possibility of Ripley showing up. Sigourney has been saying since that time that she wanted the franchise to move beyond her, and I'm sure she was very happy to get word of that. Especially after the original ending of The Predator was going to have her appear with zero explanation of how she was on present day Earth, so that's how desperate the people behind these things sometimes are for a cheap pop. Instead they just work on giving us new characters who are done well enough that we can get attached to them and want to see them succeed. And the movie starts off with some of the most efficient character establishment I've ever seen, as within ten minutes we have a solid idea of who everyone is and the situation they're in, and then it's off to the station which we understand perfectly well why they're desperate enough to go there. It's especially appreciated that we get an explanation of why Bjorn hates androids so much which is perfectly understandable, yet it also never feels like it's being used to excuse his actions. And yes, when Isabella Merced was first announced for The Last of Us, people familiar with the game did take note that she seems to be getting typecast as pregnant. That'll be a weird addition to the upcoming Dora sequel. And then we get to the reason why we're all here, and what's always the trickiest part of writing a sequel like this: getting the new characters up to speed on the rules we in the audience already know without just making it tedious. And having it happen in the midst of an attack by far more facehuggers than we've ever before seen onscreen at once is certainly an effective solution. You can't just "Check, please" your way out of this one, guys. The downside is that at this point we also get the first of those creative decisions I mentioned, and I'll always remember the massive groan that resounded through the theater as suddenly dressing as Napoleon just to do a bunch of hackneyed short jokes was no longer Ian Holm's most undignified moment onscreen. And look, I distinctly remember being very excited at the CGI Tarkin in Rogue One, thinking that even if the tech needed a bit more work, this had very exciting possibilities. But I think we can all agree it's time to throw in the towel on this stuff, and if George Reeves being dragged back from his suicide in The Flash didn't do it, maybe this will after how notorious it became. Fede Alvarez himself admitted the effect was rushed for the release date and claims to have fixed it to what he hoped for in the home release, but from what I can recall, I honestly don't see any difference. He just looks thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. And beyond that, it just doesn't make sense for the franchise. If this is some kind of standardized model for Weyland-Yutani ships, how the hell did the Nostromo crew think Ash was human? And I was in the middle of public when I first realized the name Rook was a takeoff on Bishop, and it was quite a struggle to not shout "Oh, fuck you!" out loud. cont.

Ryan

/cont. I also didn't take long to come up with a way this basic idea could work. You might notice that whenever Rook appears on a monitor, the fact that everything's fuzzy anyway makes him much more convincing. Well, how about when the Company found the Nostromo, they cut out Ash's program and put him in the Romulus computer as an advisor, so he'd always just appear this way, while also clearing up the plot hole with the old crew. But enough of that, because it's time for more fun fighting the Xenomorphs, and Alvarez brings out all the same skill at these kind of stealth scenes that he brought to Don't Breathe. Although sure, seeing people go through a 98.6 degree room is exactly what we all wanted to watch at this moment, thank you so bloody much for that. And the whole thing is given a great unique angle through the presence of Andy. Usually this kind of "lifelong friend turns on the others" story really pisses me off and feels too unbelievable, but in this case, the fact that he's literally a robot who's been given new programming means it makes perfect sense that he's suddenly acting different, and David Jonsson nails what's effectively a dual role and makes us want to see the old Andy back. It's the same reason M3GAN 2.0 worked so well for me, and I hope we get to share that experience some time soon. Also, maybe my favorite part of the whole movie is that they realized we've never once seen exactly how a chestburster turns into a grown Xenomorph, so we finally get the answer in a way that just makes it scarier, while also giving Bjorn exactly the kind of slow, painful death everyone wanted. And then we get what everyone clearly knew would be the big showpiece, the zero gravity acid hallway. For starters, it's a genius setup as you fully get that killing all the aliens in a way that won't wreck the ship is the more urgent task even if it creates this new obstacle. And then it goes on just long enough to match the endurance of the human bladder as Hitchcock put it, without dragging past the point where you have to stop believing they could keep dodging it. But then that second creative decision rears up, as we get some shameless copying beloved older lines from the franchise, and not even in a way that makes sense, and the movie's clearly expecting us to clap like circus seals and shout "He said the thing! THE THING!" Why don't you just have Rook refuse to open the door by saying "No admittance except on party business," it wouldn't be any more patronizing. And poor Jonsson looks like his soul is leaving his body when he has to add "You bitch." I haven't seen an actor openly despise the material they've been given this much since "Somehow Palpatine returned." And finally, the human/alien hybrid, which makes up for the botched "newborn" from Alien Resurrection and then some. I'm always going to respect an artist who takes risks over one who plays it safe, even if those risks don't pan out, and the fans are sharply divided over whether this works, but I'll go on record as loving everything about it. Going so graphic with its birth (and very well done for staying conscious after some other things you've had to skip), the entire design, and the fight that somehow doesn't overstay its welcome after we all would have been fine with the movie just being over after the escape. Followed by Rain giving her log, which is a piece of fanservice that actually works by making perfect sense in context and not just slavishly copying the earlier lines. Next up in this franchise is a show set on Earth, run by the mad genius behind Legion and Fargo, Noah Hawley. And even with this movie's missteps, it absolutely does enough right that I'm eager to see where things can go from here, an entirely new feeling for me as someone who was way too young to be into this franchise when Alien 3 first started wrecking it. Along with the great path the Predator movies are on under the guidance of Dan Trachtenberg, it's a good time for the fans.

Thomas Corp

Appalling. There was not a single goddamn Romulan in this Alien Romulus movie. Lame! Zero stars. Now that the obligatory joke is out of the way, in all seriousness: Glad to see and hear that you were greatly excited to see this film, Jess. You note that it might be odd to love this franchise as much as you do, which, I mean, you know me and the things I like, so I can’t judge. The question of the Xenomorph divas being the most terrifying anything in the history of cinema, well, they’re up there if nothing else, I’ll agree with you on that one. And it’s lovely to hear you say that this a type of reaction that you really love to do. It seems that with franchise films, we often feel the need to talk about where the new entries rank within the wider franchise, as I will do now. Now, this new Alien film is not surpassing the original, because of course it was never going to. The original Alien is the best of the franchise and will always be the best of the franchise, and just one of THE BEST sci-fi horror films. Period. Aliens comes in at second of the franchise. Your opening comments imply that you have that one first, which knowing you, that fits. Prometheus and Alien Covenant, I can’t settle on which one I liked more, so they roughly tie for third; my brother and I dug the hell out of those two. This one is behind those two in the rankings. Earning its place above Alien Resurrection, which, though objectively bad, is so over the top batshit hysterical that it’s a blast to watch. Never have seen Alien3, talked with my brother recently, and he doesn’t recall having seen it either. Or if he has, he has no memory of it, not even THAT scene in the film that you referred to. I’d venture a guess that’d be last. In the talk with my brother, he mentions concurring with my ranking; that he’d rank in a roughly similar order, with a key difference that he’d likely have Prometheus in possibly top two on his list. (This is not counting the two films which were also Predator films, not to be mistaken for the six Predator films that are also not Alien films.) It is such a treat to see you enjoy this as you did. they do have a good set up with this crew where you just have zero hopes for any of their survival. Though one is not sad about Bjorn. Foregone conclusion that you were not vibing with Bjorn. I wasn’t either and I doubt much anyone was. Fair reason as to why he had the prejudice, he was still an asshole. Love his death scene. Fair that you’d say that you’d look for any banana flavored humane product and take that rather than deal with the Xenomorphs. You felt bad for Kay the whole film as she was put through the wringer. Times like this, you think that it’s a shame that she doesn’t have Alejandro watching her back. Or Jesse, for that matter. Got a HUGE laugh over you bluntly concurring with Tyler that the whole mess was his fault, followed by you retracting the remark. I mean, you weren’t wrong. Give him credit, he got a great Bill Paxton exit, reminding us that though that character is overshadowed by the “Game over, Man! Game over!” line, he went out swinging. I had suspected that Andy would be your favorite of this. He was very good, yes. Got me several times seeing how he got you in the heart. Gives anxiety when he has his turn. Andy was not fucking around, leading us to have the various comments of “Uh-oh, Andy.” throughout the film, especially at the point where you said, “Andy’s a savage now!” Good that Rain gets him to come around. Bringing us to the Ian Holm of it all. I was spoiled about the appearance of Rook, Mr. Jumpscare as you called him, (A fitting name in more ways than one.) though I never did see images until finally seeing the film. Finally seeing the film, seeing Rook having the appearance of Ian as he was in Alien, I just yelled, “HO-LY CRAP!! You! Are creepy as SHIT with your ashy cgi deepfake, goddamn!!” Love how you had your own little scream upon properly seeing Rook. We differed in response to Rook’s fanservice line echoing Ash’s last words. You rolled your eyes, me, I had a slight smile at that one. Super on the nose and blatant fanservice though it is, I do love the line, so I suppose I was forgiving some. As Ryan says, the acid blood hallway is perhaps THE set piece of the film. Ryan makes the Hitchcockian comment, that is apt. Leads to the other bit of incredibly shameless fanservice. Shared laugh over Andy saying Ripley’s iconic line. I KNEW you would have finished it if he didn’t say the whole thing. But he did, and it was great. Again, perhaps I’m too forgiving, but it felt more funny than serious, so that helps me in that respect. Then there’s the horrific ending, which is up there in terms of unsettling shit. Good to hear your mom had your back with the scene near the end. I thought the same thing when seeing the scene myself and had a strong suspicion that it might be a bad one for you. I don’t even share the trigger, and I was having to look away, saying, “Ok, yeah, you know what? I’m getting a weak stomach all of a sudden. Oh! That’s not right, no.” When it started up and you were bracing yourself, I was saying, “Ok, Jess, just grab a hold of something, look at a spot on the wall, and just chug some water. We’re going to get through this!” Proud of you too, Jess, with the not fainting. I remember your discussion in the Kill Bill reaction, and as someone with a shared vivid imagination, I get it. Loved all of your reactions to the final sequence. Praise indeed if the jumpscare made you scream loud enough to get Rocco to check in and make sure that you are ok, hope you two enjoyed the walk. I did notice the candle by the way. Rain did the work at the end, leading to that happy ending that is in these movies of just barely surviving by the skin of their teeth. Complimented by the hopeful and triumphant music after all the fucking horror, as you say. Nice to hear that this probably very well could end up being your favorite movie reaction of the year. Certainly, it yielded an incredibly strong reaction, that I greatly enjoyed, Jess, thank you so much.

Sadbnnuy

I saw this with my boyfriend in the cinema last August. The amount of times I teared up from being scared was too many to count. The face hugger room and especially that big thing at the end. Was very Resident Evil. I almost bruised his hand from squeezing it :( Is a really fun movie scary things aside :D

Lucas

I'm a massive fan of the Alien films so this film was everything to me, glad you're also a massive fan of the franchise and I agree this will probably be one of your best reactions of the year. Really sweet of your mum to warn you you might pass out and congrats on getting through it conscious! I understand not wanting to rewatch Alien 3 but it is a genuinely great film despite all the studio meddling especially if you watch the Assembly cut (also it hits different now with having Tywin Lannister and the 8th Doctor in it). Not sure if you've ever said but are you planning on reacting to Alien: Earth when it comes out (if you even knew about it, it premiers mid August)?