Unorthodox Farming: Chapter 12 (Patreon)

I ended up having a 3-hour video call with Brian J Nordon, which is why this took so long. The chapter came out better than I thought it would, though. Chapter 12

A One-Shot Assessment

Champions Hall was built like a 1920s hotel. The lobby took up most of the first floor. It was filled with glowing orbs and elegantly decorated furniture, covered in intricate runes stitched into expensive white and gold fabric. Someone had arranged these armchairs and couches in clusters around small tables that held noise-suppression devices, so champions could congregate in private without stepping on their neighbour's toes.

It was like stepping into another world.

My world.

However, the longer I stared, the more I noticed that things weren't quite right, and the thought faded as quickly as it appeared.

For one thing, there was no concierge desk like you would find in a hotel, only a wizard manning a bar that ran along the entire back wall. He was dressed in a robe that matched the furniture, giving me the impression that he was somehow stronger in this building.

The only other person in the lobby was sitting in the armchair closest to the bar. She was reading the newspaper. Our story was still on the front cover, but I only knew that because I'd been reading the same paper on my way over.

The doorman who had let me into the building closed the door behind me, cutting off the noise from the crowd of rabid fans waiting to catch a glimpse of a champion just beyond the wrought iron fence. I heard a gentle, faint hum as the barrier that protected the front door was reestablished.

Building Champions Hall across the road from the teleportation circle made perfect sense, but it did make it easier for tourists and fans to congregate outside. A wrought iron fence was not enough to keep them out, but between a doorman who looked like a one-man army and all the magical barriers, security seemed tight enough.

The wizard who had been watching me since the moment I entered didn't speak until the barrier was in place. "Champion Farentine, your morning appointment has arrived."

I'd been warned not to walk around without an escort, so I remained in place.

Farentine folded her paper closed, placing it on the table beside her, before rising from her chair and walking towards me. Her shoulders were as broad as my own, and her grey hair had been tied into a ponytail. She wore red leather trousers and a match vest over a frilly white blouse. She carried an empty rapier scabbard on her hip and had large gold bangles on her wrists and hooped earrings.

No name appeared above her head as she got closer.

I've met a lot of people with high charisma over the years, but it is rare for them to have invested so heavily into their other attributes. There was a balance to her features that they and I lacked. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, but that beauty was not mind-altering. It seemed natural, rather than manipulative. Looking at her, I somehow knew that even without my charisma, I would be able to talk without gawking. The only hint of her age was her grey hair and the small lines around her eyes, which suggested she was a few centuries older than me.

She did not hurry or rush. She strolled towards me, sizing me up. I'd seen Torvac and Misk do something similar, but neither was as open or thorough as she was.

Farentine finally stopped before me and stood like a drill sergeant with a wide stance and her hands behind her back. "Crown's Champion Arnold, the king has asked me to assess whether you have the potential to assist us now or in the future." She had a gruff, distant way of speaking that left no room for small talk.

A prompt appeared before me.

Scholar Farentine would like to access your interface.

Would you like to give her access?

Yes/No?

I selected, Yes.

My interface opened, showing me what she was seeing. Farentine began flicking through my information, reading entire pages in a fraction of a second. I tried to follow what she was reading, but she read too quickly. There were brief moments where she seemed to pause to think or read something again, but even those lasted less than a second.

In less time than it took for her to walk over, Farentine was done, which was unreasonably fast considering how much information she had access to. She returned her attention to me, dropped her arms to her side and closed her stance.

Her expression softened. "Young man, I mean no offence, but you are the least qualified champion to ever bear our mark. I trust you were told this before you came here."

I nodded. "It was made abundantly clear to me even before I read the guidebook."

"As you are, you will never qualify to assist us."

"So, my assessment is over?"

"Almost." She pulled an ability crystal from her back pocket and stepped closer. "This is just a formality, but I need to check your unique champion ability before I can fully relieve you of your obligations. Hold still, I need to place this against your forehead."

The guidebook I'd read before burning had taught me that champions protected Radian from three types of existential threats. Taking out powerful monsters which could bypass village, town, and city auras was what they were most well-known for, but it was the least important of their duties.

The second most important was clearing the high-level raid dungeons that sat within Radian's borders. This sounded similar to what adventurers did all over the kingdom, because they were preventing outbreaks, but that was where the comparison ended. Raid dungeons held thousands of high-level monsters, so their outbreaks would lead to mass casualty events.

However, their most important duty required them to clear high-level dungeons outside of Radian's borders. These dungeons spawned monsters were immune to village, town, and city auras and preventing their outbreaks stopped them from laying waste to the border villages and towns.

In my mind, the fact that they were only known for saving people from powerful monsters was a testament to how seriously they took their jobs.

Farentine raised her hand and placed the crystal against my forehead. The crystal seemed to have been sitting in her back pocket for quite some time because it was a little too warm. I tried not to think about why it was so warm, as the thought of a butt crystal resting against my forehead wasn't appealing.

Chief Durg'un had mentioned unique abilities to me on several occasions, so had Torvac and Misk, so I knew that every champion and chief had one. All of them were better than any ability you could buy from scholars, but that didn't necessarily mean that they were useful.

Farentine sighed as the crystal began to glow. "No offence, but if you weren't incarnate, I'd recommend the king pay for your resurrection so that someone who could use your mark could roll the dice and risk going feral."

I thought about letting someone kill me for my mark on several occasions, but, however small the risk, I wasn't willing to take the chance of not coming back, so I'd never brought it up. However, Farentine made it sound like a much bigger risk than I thought. "Why would being incarnate stop you from letting someone kill me to take my mark?"

Farentine seemed surprised by my question. "No one ever told you?"

"Told me what?"

"You can't be resurrected."

"What!"

To say I was shocked by her revelation would be an understatement. Dozens of close calls from the past year flashed through my head. In every situation, one thought went through my head. I need enough of my body to survive so they can resurrect me.

"That's not your body. If you die, that's the end. The soul that body belongs to has long since moved on to what comes next, so nothing will happen if a cleric attempts a resurrection."

"What!"

It was the only response I had.

Another prompt appeared.

You have found an infused ability crystal containing a unique champion ability. Would you like to gain this ability for no cost?

Yes/No?

"Absorb the ability," Farentine instructed. "You're the only one who can, and if it loses contact with your forehead, I'll need to get another."

I selected, Yes.

The crystal vanished in a flash of light, flowing into me. A new notification appeared.

Congratulations, you have gained a unique ability.

One Shot

Cost: Remaining Stamina & Mana

Cooldown: 30 Days

Trigger: Verbal

Weapon Requirement: Loaded crossbow.

Effect: For your next shot, each remaining point of stamina is converted to 10 piercing damage, and each remaining point of mana is converted to 10 magic damage. (Damage scales with your crossbow skill level, titles, marks, and equipment bonuses.)

I was still reeling from the fact that I couldn't be resurrected, so it took me longer than usual to read my unique champion ability. However, the moment I got to the effect, it captured my attention.

Farentine was smiling ear to ear as she stepped back.

"Do you still have access to my interface?"

"I do."

"Is this ability as good as I think it is?"

"If you are thinking that this is the most powerful single-target ability the world has ever seen, then yes, you could say that it's as good as you think it is."

"I assume I'm now qualified."

Farentine erupted in laughter. "You're even less qualified than you were a moment ago."

I dismissed the notification and stared at her blankly. "How am I less qualified than I was before?"

Her laughter grew louder as she turned around and headed for the staircase, waving for me to follow. She didn't stop laughing until we began climbing the stairs.

She took a deep breath as she regained control and then released another small chuckle. "Before you had a chance to gain a unique ability that might have eventually bridged the gap, allowing you to eventually join us on dungeon raids. Now, I know for a fact that you don't."

"Isn't my ability perfect for taking out powerful monsters that threaten cities and towns, though?"

I honestly couldn't understand her reaction.

"It is. However, until now, we've never had a champion who is only qualified to deal with those threats or one who would be so effective at it."

"How is that funny though?"

Farentine reached the top of the staircase first and started heading for the door at the end of the hallway. "Champions only confront those sorts of threats if we're taking time off and we're close to a teleportation circle. I found your question hilarious because to us it has so little risk compared to what we normally do that we don't consider a part of our duties, but something we do during our time off."

I finally got why she found it so funny. My situation was more ridiculous than if I weren't helpful. I was the champion equivalent of a waterboy. Or if you were being less kind, I was on the council but didn't hold the rank of master.

"I take it that you can't release me from my champion obligations now?"

"You're released from your obligations to join us on dungeon raids, but you're qualified to deal with monster threats, so I need to do a full assessment. Don't look so glum, you're going to be very popular around here."

"I am?"

"Of course! Everyone hates having to dash off to do work while on holiday. Your ability is perfect for dealing with the part of the job that everyone hates."

Okay, maybe I wasn't a waterboy, more like the unskilled guy you hired to do the crappy jobs you didn't want to do.

Farentine used her mana to open the door as we approached, revealing an office decorated with rapiers. They lined the walls and ceiling, showing significant wear and tear. Some of the blades were snapped, which suggested that these might have been the blades she'd used over her career.

Farentine motioned for me to sit as she walked around her desk to the matching armchair. She reached into the drawers and pulled out a stack of what looked like forms before leaning back and folding her arms. She stared at me, tapping her finger against her forearm for nearly a minute before finally sighing.

"Is something wrong?"

"Your champion ability concerns me. Specifically, the part that says each remaining point of stamina will be converted to 10 points of piercing damage. It doesn't say magical piercing damage. It says piercing damage."

"That's a problem, I take it."

"Piercing damage is physical damage. Physical damage involves physics. Physics means recoil. I'm concerned that when you use your ability, there will be over 100,000 damage worth of recoil."

That much damage would turn me into pink mist.

"Are you saying my champion ability will kill me if I use it?"

"Only if it functions that way I think it does, and you use it incorrectly. However, when used correctly, I believe you will only lose your arm."

"Until I raise my attributes, right?"

Farentine shook her head. "There is no amount of attributes that can mitigate that much damage, and I'm not aware of any ability or promotion that can lower the recoil enough for you not to be injured."

"So, it's a dud."

"I wouldn't have brought you to my office if I thought so."

That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"This may sound selfish, but I'd rather not use an ability that can kill me."

Farentine began rolling up her sleeve, exposing her entire arm to the shoulder, before pointing at a blue metal band that sat at the very top of her bicep. "This is a survival band. It will sever my arm if monsters clamp down and try to use my arms to tear me in half. They're standard issue for high-level adventurers and champions. They will work with your new ability with a few minor adjustments."

"How so?"

"Currently, if you try to hold a crossbow away from your body and pull the trigger, the recoil will vaporise your hand and forearm. However, that recoil will then travel up your bicep to your body and tear you apart. With a few modifications, the survival band will sever your arm when you pull the trigger, allowing the recoil to launch your severed arm backwards, preventing your death."

"In this scenario, I still lose my arm every time I use the ability."

"It will grow back."

She said it as if this somehow made the situation better.

"You should work on your peep talks."

Farentine sighed. "I wrongfully assumed that the assessment would be over by midmorning, and now I have to do a full assessment, so I'm not in the mood for peep talks."

"You said all I'm qualified to do is turn up and shoot a monster and go home. How much is there to assess?"

Farentine pushed the stack of forms across the table. "I'm the only adventurer scholar with a specialisation in champions in Radian. My job isn't just to assess your qualifications; it's to design a comprehensive personal development plan that will help you excel in your duties. Now I need you to read and sign these liability waivers, so I can take you down to our temple to see how many classes you can gain once you pass through your fourth farmer threshold."

I stared at the pile. "These are all liability waivers."

"Being a champion is the most dangerous job there is in Radian, and that's without having an ability that can kill you."

***

Reading and signing the liability waivers took most of the morning, so my stomach was grumbling by the time we left Champions Hall for the small sun-serpent temple that stood beside it. A wrought-iron fence surrounded both buildings, and the doorman who had opened the gate for me was once again sitting on the balcony overlooking the main road. Unlike the adventurer's guild, there was nothing about the building that distinguished it from the surrounding buildings besides the massive crowd, and Farentine was using an illusion spell to prevent them from seeing us.

"Why do you need a temple?"

Farentine yawned as we approached the entrance. "Champions rarely accept a new class until we know that we qualify for the thresholds that we want. Our time between raids is often short, so we don't have the luxury of being able to wait for clerics to prepare an altar to access the deeper information that their class can provide us. We need to get in and out as quickly as possible."

Farentine dropped the barrier in front of the temple door and opened it for me, closing it behind us. The temple's waiting room was like the one in Blackwood. There were chairs along the walls and a set of doors that led into the actual temple.

I pointed at the double doors. "So, it's someone's job to just stand in there and maintain a ritual on the off chance that one of you needs it."

Farentine nodded. "Those posted here are usually here as punishment."

I took a step towards the door.

"A moment."

I turned to Farentine.

Farentine looked uncomfortable. "You weren't meant to be qualified for a full assessment, so you were never supposed to come here. However, if you did, I was told that I needed to inform you of the situation before you entered."

"Situation?"

"The king could not legally punish Varla or his daughter for what they did to you. Because of this, he chose to post them to our temple to reflect on their actions."

That didn't seem like much of a punishment. "How long have they been here?"

"They began working here when the king's investigation was concluded. Varla lasted less than a year before she gave up and left Radian with her family. Damella doesn't have that luxury. She arrives at dawn and leaves at sunset. If that is a problem for you, we can return later."

Now, I was curious. "How long will she remain here?"

"Twenty years. It was the length of the sentence she was supposed to serve."

"It doesn't seem like much of a punishment."

"Personally, I'd rather face hard labour. At least you can talk to those around you while you work. All she does is stand alone in silence, focusing on maintaining the altar's readiness."

When she put it like that, it did sound like Damella was being punished.

Farentine sighed. "Is seeing her going to be a problem for you?"

I had to stop and consider the question before I answered. I'd been upset when I discovered the extent of their manipulation. I'd been upset when I discovered that they'd been trying to cover their own ass and thrown me under the bus. I'd been upset when the king told me that there was nothing that he could legally do to punish them.

But the fact that they had been forced to be corporate drones for twenty years somehow made me feel like the villain. It was just too cruel and unusual a punishment. I mean, it had broken Varla in less than a year.

"Does she gain a lot of experience working here?"

I'd read that to perform this ritual, a cleric needed to convert 1% of the skill experience you'd acquired to cleric experience. Many of the skills that Farentine wanted assessed were all level 100, so that was going to be a lot of experience.

"We have a contract, so she will receive a fixed amount of experience. This amount isn't much, which is why this place is considered a punishment. The excess will be stored so you can use it to pay for their services."

"What sort of services?"

"Clerics can use their class experience instead of gold to perform their rituals, they just don't like to, so you have access to all their services. You likely didn't know this because it's rare for someone to require a ritual that entitles them to a share of the experience."

I considered Farentine's question again and decided that I didn't have a problem with the situation. I wasn't going to be angry when I went inside. I wasn't going to gloat. What they had done to me was wrong, but I'd made the best of it, and they hadn't gotten away with it. The only reason I even had to think about it at all was that I'd only recently discovered how much I'd been lied to and manipulated. Before that, this had all been in the past.

I nodded my head. "This won't be a problem."

Farentine stepped ahead of me and opened the doors, letting me in. The temple, while small, was much more lavish than the one in Blackwood. The stonework was impeccable, and there were significantly more gold ornaments depicting the sun serpent and a lot more tapestries.

It had been a while since I'd been in a temple, and I was far less ignorant than in the past, so the ridiculousness of the imagery stuck out. I stopped in the doorway, took in everything I saw, and weighed it against everything I knew.

The sun serpent claimed it wasn't a god, yet there was a class that seemed devoted to it as if it were. That class built temples covered in its image, but those who worked there didn't worship it. They didn't pray for it. They respected it, but they didn't deify it.

The contradictions made my brain itch.

The absurdity didn't just feel wrong. It felt forced. Like someone was jamming puzzle pieces together and claiming that they fit. Why would you go to so much trouble to create a class with a religion that everyone didn't believe in, yet it still provided tangible benefits?

I mean, every species shared the same religion, but the others didn't believe in it any more than humans did.

Then it clicked into place, and I decided to test my theory. "The creators of the system considered other species to be lower than themselves. They designed the system in a way that forced those species to worship them as gods, but we don't know who the creators were, so the system lets us deify the sun serpent so it can function. That means, the system was always supposed to have multiple species with multiple ways to serve the creators of the system."

A wave of light enveloped me as a notification appeared.

Well done, you have successfully deduced the hierarchical nature of the system, showing a greater comprehension of system hierarchy lore than any being in this world history, opening up a new field of lore and earning you a new rank of understanding in this field. You can now boast that you can understand system hierarchy lore as well as any Novice.

Congratulations, you have discovered the new field of System Hierarchy Lore. Unlocking this field has earned you another level for your Sage title:

Sage

Level: 2

Effect: People find you 100% more interesting when speaking about lore.

Farentine blinked away tears as the light began to fade. It was far from being my greatest discovery, so compared to the others, it wasn't particularly bright.

The happiness I felt at resolving the inconsistencies I had seen vanished as my gaze landed on Damella. She was standing beside the glowing altar, maintaining the ritual.

She'd had another growth spurt since I'd last seen her and was around five feet six. That growth spurt had left her deep in the awkward teenage phase that everyone tries to forget. She wore the cheapest acolyte robe I'd ever seen, and her hair was tied up in a bun with a piece of string, but she didn't appear to be so impoverished that she had missed meals.

I stared at her for a second longer and realised I felt nothing. I wasn't happy about her circumstances. I wasn't upset. I just wanted to get this over with so I could go back to my life.

I took a step forward.  

Farentine caught my shoulder, still blinking away tears. "What was that?"

I turned back. "I discovered a new field of lore. It happens from time to time."

Farentine stared at me. "When you say from time to time. How frequently?"

"A few times a year. I imagine it will become more frequent now that I'm studying. Is that a problem?"

Farentine nodded. "It means that you can provide other services to the kingdom that require you to be more qualified before the kingdom can call upon you."

"You mean you can't throw me into a situation where I might save lives by almost killing myself because I'm too useful?"

"Yes."

"I'm about to make so many discoveries. Like so many. You wouldn't believe how many discoveries I'm about to make. I'm going to revolutionise everything."

Farentine chuckled. "Sure, you are. Let's get this over with."

***

Damella didn't recognise me until she performed the first ritual and gained access to my information. That was a blessing in disguise. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had a chance to see who she really was. Up until she performed the ritual, she was professional and courteous. Once she knew who I was, nothing changed. She didn't apologise for her actions, but she didn't glare at me either.

It was a strange experience.

She didn't even talk to me when Farentine left to collect chests to store my experience. She just stood beside the altar doing her job.

An hour later, I stacked the last chest of cleric experience along the hallway outside Farentine's office and walked in. For some reason, Farentine wanted to see how much experience my boon had accumulated for my farmer class. Between all the monsters that had been killed on my farm and the orc cull, even 1% being converted to cleric experience turned it into a lot, and that accounted for clerics requiring five times as much experience as farmers to level.

Farentine looked up from her notes as I entered. "What class do you plan to take next?"

I met her gaze as I sat across from her. "Bard. Is that a problem?"

"It is, but only because you can currently pass through the first four thresholds of the gambler, merchant, trapsmith, and archer classes. I'd like you to take them first."

"Isn't that semantics?"

"Normally, yes, but you are walking The Paths to Power."

"I have no idea what that is."

"The Paths to Power are a way of growing stronger that isn't recognised by the system. It's also the reason why I had to see how much experience your farmer class has accumulated beyond level 100. The first path is the simplest. All you have to do is take all the free attributes from your first class between levels 1 and 100 and invest them into a single attribute. Once you pass through your fourth threshold, the physical changes to your body from that attribute will become 20% stronger than the number indicates. When you pass through your fifth threshold, this effect increases by another 5%. This also works for subsequent classes and their free attributes, so long as that class is a higher tier, but you need to manage your levels and thresholds very carefully. You're a farmer, so you can theoretically walk every path."

"I'm still not following?"

Farentine looked at me like I was an idiot, before her face softened. "I want you to invest all your free attributes from the farmer class into charisma, because when you pass through your fourth threshold, the effects of your charisma will grow 20% stronger. Then I want you to take the merchant class as your primary crafting class and invest the two additional free attributes you gain from each level into dexterity so that your dexterity will grow 20% stronger. Once you have done that, you will take archery as your primary warrior class and invest the two free attributes from each level of that class into agility to gain another 20% bonus."

Primary classes were the first class you took in each tier. Everything I'd read suggested that there wasn't anything special about them, but apparently those books were wrong.

"Why not strength?"

"Adventurer will give you three free attributes to invest instead of two if you don't skip tiers, so it's better to wait until you become an adventurer before using your free attributes for strength. Having more strength is always beneficial to someone who has multiple classes unless they're a craftsman."

I hated the idea.

"I'd rather not invest more attributes into charisma."

Farentine sighed. "Wisdom would be better, but we take what we are given, and while charisma isn't the best attribute for a warrior, it still has its place."

"It does?"

She nodded. "Your charisma is high, but not so high that you would be able to continue fighting while watching your child dying somewhere else on the battlefield."

"Who would want to be able to do something like that?"

"Anyone who has fought beside their friends in a battle where distractions can get everyone killed."

It was a stupid question. "Can I skip a path?"

"You can, but you would have to invest the remainder of your free attributes into endurance, constitution, or intelligence. Otherwise, you would be cutting off another path. It will take a few years, but you're qualified to help us, so you will eventually max those attributes through blessings, making such actions a waste of an investment."

"And if I don't invest them?"

"That's much worse. You will end all possibility of walking The Paths to Power. The requirements are stringent."

"You said it can go beyond level 100."

"Yes, but to do so, your farmer class will always have to be a higher level than your merchant class, and your merchant class will have to be a higher level than your archer class, and your archer class will have to be a higher level than your adventurer class. That will be tricky with such a powerful champion ability, so you will likely fail before you pass through your fifth threshold."

"Doing this still leaves me in a situation where I'm too attractive for most people to think straight."

Farentine stared at me for several seconds and then frowned. "Why do you want to be a bard?"

It wasn't meant as a personal question, but my reason for becoming a bard was deeply personal. Thankfully, I'd already shared my feelings on the matter.

"The first time I felt like I wasn't an outsider in your world was when I was walking down a random street in a city I didn't live in and heard a familiar song. I'd taught the song to a bard who was visiting Blackwood and never expected to see her again, but she was playing it in a tavern. Hearing something so familiar in a situation I didn't create made me happier than anything I'd experienced in your world up until that moment. So, I want to become a bard to spread the songs I know, and experience that moment again."

Farentine gave me a disinterested look. "I wrongfully assumed you wanted to become a bard because of the special promotions which can decrease the visible effects of charisma."

I stared at her for several seconds as my brain turned over her statement in my head. "It can do that?"

She nodded like it wasn't a big deal. "There is a special promotion which allows you to boost one of the enhancements of charisma at the cost of decreasing another. It's why, despite my charisma being higher than your own, I'm not as attractive."

"How effective is it?"

"There are six aspects to charisma that the bard class can manipulate: Appearance, Confidence, Musical Talent, Acting, Creativity, and Emotional Control. The special promotion allows you to halve the effects of one of these aspects to increase another by the same amount."

And just like that, I was no longer concerned about increasing my charisma.

+24 Charisma