Unorthodox Farming 3: Chapter 41 (Patreon)

Here's another chapter. Tell me what you think. I'm going to start the next one, but I don't think I'll finish it tonight.

Chapter 41

The Needs of the Many

Sasha and I had nothing more than a casual physical relationship, so the moment I was outside, any thoughts I had for her were replaced with threat assessments. Farentine blurred through the streets ahead of me, dispatching anything she came across, before disappearing into a mansion window, seeing something I hadn't. A moment later, the entire building burst into flames, and then Farentine leapt from that window and flew through the window of the building across the street.

This also exploded.

At this point, I made the wise decision to turn around and go the other way. There was a lot I could deal with, but entire buildings spontaneously combusting wasn't on the list.

I stopped to check gaps in walls and gates, looking for any sign of Emily. A few times, scared faces looked back at me through the windows. Other times, I saw goblins looking at me. They didn't do anything. They just gazed at me through the windows like they were waiting for something.

I left those ones alone.

Attacking a goblin in the open, during chaos, was one thing. Attacking a goblin that was casually standing at a window, as if it had a plan, was another. I'd already seen too many things that didn't make sense for me to take chances, and that was before I'd seen how hard Farentine was pushing herself. Whatever was going on was way above my pay grade.

I darted past an alleyway, catching a glimpse of the back of a goblin, and doubled back to deal with it. Between my attributes and movement speed buffs, my war pitchfork was through the goblin's spine before it realised it was in danger. I didn't kill it. Leaving its corpse in the alley was a surefire way to turn someone into a zombie if they ran down here to escape.

I lifted the squirming goblin to race to the entrance of the alley.

Then Salem's voice telepathically thundered in my head. "You imbecile! Why haven't you contacted me?"

It was jarring and unexpected, so I reacted poorly and slammed the goblin's head into the nearby wall. The goblin's neck came away from the experience extremely floppy, which wasn't a good sign. I knew I wasn't in full control of my new attributes, but an unexpected twitch had just turned a simple flick of my wrist into overkill.

"Answer me, idiot!"

I turned and ran for the end of the alleyway, carrying the dead goblin, hoping I could get it out before the red blob came for me. "Give me a minute."

I reached the end of the alleyway, lifted the pitchfork over my head, and then kicked the goblin's corpse off the end, sending it across the street and wedging it into a wrought iron fence.

I scanned my surroundings.

When I didn't spot anything life-threatening, just some people running for safety, I stepped back into the alleyway to reply. "What do you need? Make it quick. People are dying here, and I need to find Emily."

"Why didn't you contact me?"

"When you didn't contact me after the kingdom announcement, I assumed this wasn't something you would get involved with."

"Well, you assumed wrong."

"Don't give me that tone. This isn't my fault."

"You spent the entire morning filling my interface with discoveries."

"And?"

"And I turned off all notifications, so I could take a nap. So, this is clearly your fault."

Salem didn't throw blame around unless he was upset or stressed, and he sounded like he was suffering from both. Whatever was happening here had him seriously concerned.

"Okay, this is my fault. Now what do you need?"

It clearly wasn't, but I didn't have time to argue with him.

"I need you to confirm whether those red blobs that turn people into zombies are real or not."

I glanced across the street, where the goblin corpse was wedged into the fence, seeing a blob beginning to form. "I can't confirm if they turn you into a zombie or not. I haven't seen the process personally. But I'm looking at a red blob right now. If it helps, the only weakness Farentine could find was fire, and they come out of goblins and hobgoblins."

"It does. Are you in a safe location?"

"No."

"Find a safe location where you can stand still for over a minute as fast as possible. I'm going to trick the system into thinking you're performing the familiar summoning ritual to bring me to your side."

I left the alleyway and headed back to Emily's mansion, scanning the street for threats. "I take it what's going on isn't a normal part of the system?"

"It's a part of the system which shouldn't be operational. And there should only be two individuals who can bring this function online. The being you call the sun serpent and myself."

"So, the sun serpent's trying to kill us?"

"No."

"Are you trying to kill us?"

"No."

"Then there has to be someone else."

"There is, which is why I needed you to confirm the existence of the red blobs."

I leapt over Emily's fence, ran to the door, avoiding the group that was leaving and darted inside. "What are they?"

"The gods of the system."

"They don't seem that impressive for gods."

Sasha was ready with her axe, and the only one still in the building, but froze as I rushed past her and leapt, catching the bannister on the second floor with my hand, and pulling myself over.

"They're in their infantile stage."

I scanned the area around me, seeing furniture barricading the hallways. "You can come over now. I'm in a safe spot. Just tell me what I need to do?"

"Don't move, and that includes speaking."

"Why are you back here already?" Sasha yelled from below.

I stood in place, not replying, which wasn't the right thing to do, because she began storming up the staircase.

She marched over to me and glared. "Why are you up here?"

I remained still. "Salem, what happens if I move or say something while you're tricking the system?"

"The system locks me out, and I have to make my way to you the old fashion way, which will take hours."

Sasha lost some of her glare. "Say something! Don't pretend like I don't exist."

I continued to remain in place. "I probably should have told someone what I was doing before we started. I forgot zombies stand still right after they become infected?"

Sasha swallowed, took a step back, and raised her axe. "Arnold, say something?"

"Does winking count as movement, because she has an axe?"

"It doesn't, but winking is a terribly form of communication. Does she know you?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure she'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

"We kind of just broke up."

"Then wink like your life depends on it."

I threw Sasha a wink, which made her frown, but she didn't lower the axe. "I need you to say something, Arnold."

I threw her another wink.

Her grip tightened around the axe handle. "I said, I need you to say something. A champion zombie is too much of a threat to everyone for me to let you live."

The front doors flew open, and Farentine leapt to the second floor, landing beside me. She took in my still form and Sasha's raised weapon and behaved like a reasonable adult. "What's going on?"

Sasha didn't lower her axe. "Arnold raced in here and suddenly stopped and stood still. I think he's turning into a zombie."

Farentine gave me a serious look, so I winked at her.

She relaxed. "Zombies don't wink." She scanned me again. "Are you doing something?"

I winked.

"One wink means yes. Two winks mean no."

I winked.

"Can't move while you're doing it?"

I winked.

Farentine smiled. "So Alistrin's finally doing something."

I winked again.

"Is it going to take long?"

I winked twice.

"Wink once if you want me to keep searching for Emily? She should have begun making her way back by now, but hasn't. I think she's trapped in a house somewhere."

I winked.

Farentine leapt over the bannister and shot out the entrance, closing the doors behind her, leaving Sasha holding her axe and looking at me like I was weird. It was a look I'd gotten used to.

Sasha sighed. "Was she talking about Deputy Headmaster Alistrin of the Wizard's Academy?"

I winked.

Sasha finally lowered the axe. "The more I learn about you, the weirder you become. In some ways, it makes me grateful you don't care about me. I mean, you care, but just not deeply. Which is fine, because this was never anything serious."

Oh, My God! She was having the emotional breakup conversation in the middle of an ongoing crisis, like every badly written movie ever, and I couldn't move a muscle or do more than wink to tell her there were more important things to do.

"Salem, speed it up."

"I'm going as fast as I can."

"Go faster."

"Does she look like she's going to go through with it?"

"Worse, she's found out I'm not a threat and is now having the breakup talk with me when there's a major threat that she should be paying attention to. This is just asking the universe to throw something at me."

Salem chuckled in my head.

***

A minute later, after the universe let me understand exactly how much it hated me, a circle filled with glowing runes appeared around me. Sasha leapt back too fast and too high, clipping the edge of the bannister with her heels, beginning an awkward tumble to the floor below. She was level 99, so there wasn't much of a chance the fall would kill her, even if she landed headfirst. She tucked into a somersault midair before disappearing over the edge.

"Fuckkk!" She shouted.

There was a dull thump a moment later.

"What the hell was that?" She shouted, telling me she'd survived the fall, which I was happy about. I wasn't in love with her, but I didn't want her to come to harm.

A second circle formed, connected to the one I stood in, displaying a level of rune complexity I didn't understand. A second later, Salem appeared inside in a flash of light, looking bigger and more menacing than I'd ever seen him.

His muscular shoulders came up to my knees, and his coat was a black so deep you would think you were looking at obsidian. If a mother saw him, she would grab her child and run, thinking some sort of beast had gotten into the city.

Salem rippled, returning to his regular feline form, shrinking to less than an eighth of his previous size.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, telepathically.

Salem opened his jaw and yawned before leaning forward to arch his back, adjusting to his body. "That was my form without me reducing the visible signs of my attributes. Now step out of that circle and release me."

"Does anything change if I do?"

Salem rolled his eyes. "No. This is a resummoning circle, not a summoning circle. The standard rules of my mark still apply, which is unfortunate, because this would go much more smoothly if I weren't restricted. Now, hurry up. The demon lord can find exactly where we are because of what I did, and we need to move before it responds."

I stepped out of the circle. "What happens when it responds?"

"You die. I get expelled from this world. And humanity loses any hope of surviving this catastrophe."

Salem couldn't lie. It was part of who he was and being a familiar, which meant he really thought humanity might not survive what was going on here. Instincts took over. Instincts fueled by all the attributes I'd gained since sunrise.

I took two steps, grabbed the bannister, and leapt over the top, landing in the middle of the entrance, beside Sasha, who was climbing to her feet. "We need to move."

Salem had landed on the ground before me and was already standing beside the front door. His eyes glowed as he turned his head in every direction. "I've found Emily. Follow me, I'll clear the way."

Salem turned to the doors, and they opened as he dashed out.

Sasha was looking at me like she didn't have a clue what was going on, and I didn't have time to explain. I threw her over my shoulder before racing out of the building after Salem as fast as I could, which was fast. Too fast for Sasha to follow what was going on.

Too fast for me to think through what was going on, but I could see what was happening, and it was terrifying. I'd never seen Salem truly let loose. However, even when I first received his familiar mark, he'd treated pumas as little more than field mice.

Salem blurred down the street like a force of nature with me hot on his heels. Goblins standing in the windows spontaneously combusted without him turning his head or slowing to throw a spell. Goblins in our way simply dissolved, becoming piles of dust. He was death incarnate, which explained exactly why he was never worried when he stared down Durg'un, Torvac, and Misk after he turned into an angel.

Salem suddenly cut to the right, and we dashed into another mansion, up two flights of stairs, down a hallway, and into a bedroom. Over a dozen hobgoblins exploded during our rush through the building, and a few dozen enchantments that had been painted on the surrounding walls in blood fizzled out. There were also dead bodies. A lot of dead bodies.

The only thing I saw as I entered the bedroom was a headless hobgoblin holding Emily's head between its hands. She was on her knees with her face contorted by pain. I planted Sasha on her feet, placed my war pitchfork against the wall, and rushed over to Emily's side.

The hobgoblin flew backwards, turning into dust, and I caught Emily before she fell, kneeling beside her. "What's wrong with her?"

Salem was standing by the window, looking in every direction again. "The hobgoblin was attempting to charm her, despite her mental resistance. She'll need a moment to recover."

I turned to Salem, worried for Emily. "Do we have a moment?"

"I'm warding this room against scrying, so as long as my enemy isn't willing to expose itself, we have a moment to spare."

"Good. Because I need to know what the hell is going on?"

Salem didn't look in my direction, but I felt his attention turn my way. My wording was very close to becoming an order, and he knew it. For once, Salem didn't fight me.

"Do you remember how I told you that when Maraveer and I summoned my father and the parasite, the system recognised the parasite and immediately made it as strong as it could?"

I nodded.

"Well, I now know why. The parasite that infected my father was a member of the race that created the system."

"So, we're fighting one of the systems Gods."

"Hardly. If it were one of the system's Gods, it wouldn't have to use these sorts of tactics to control this world. It would simply change the rules on you. It's most likely a low-ranking general of one of the Gods."

"Why a low-ranking general?"

"Because the system allowed it to breed. And the system's Gods only allowed their generals or upper administrators to do so freely. If it were a high-ranking general, it wouldn't need to go to all this trouble to enslave this world. And it would have a lot more access to the system."

"So, the red blobs are its children?"

"Yes. And they're born utterly loyal. With all the knowledge and skills their parents want them to have."

"Like knowing how to use magic."

Salem glanced at the burnt material on my chest and nodded.

"You're being awfully free with information."

Salem scoffed. "You've made enough discoveries since we parted ways for the system to allow me to speak plainly, and the situation warrants me to. This is my mess. I need to fix it."

"Prime Directive?"

"Yes. Now, here's the bad news. The demon lord has turned the capital into an open dungeon. It's using the dungeon failsafe to teleport in its army of goblins and hobgoblins."

"What's an open dungeon?"

"The system won't let me explain."

"How's that the bad news?"

"When it runs out of troops, it will start teleporting in monsters."

"Oh."

An endless supply of monsters wasn't something we could overcome.

Farentine raced into the room, scanned our surroundings, and then stopped and smiled at Salem. "Alistrin, it's good to see you."

Salem smiled, showing all his teeth. "Hello, old friend. I wish our reunion were under less precarious circumstances."

"I'll take what I'm given. Now, how did you get here?"

"I tricked the system into thinking Arnold had performed the ritual necessary to summon me. This pulled me to his side."

Farentine chuckled. "Our threat rating for you wasn't high enough."

"My threat rating of the demon lord wasn't high enough. Now bring me up to speed, or humanity will become nothing but a slave race to some truly tyrannical beings by tomorrow morning. It intends to take all your kingdoms at once, charming the nobility into servitude."

My eyes widened as I looked at Emily, who was starting to come around. "Is that what it was doing to her?"

Farentine harnessed her agility, and her words came so fast I couldn't follow. Salem replied just as quickly. The conversation lasted all of ten seconds, and then Salem turned to me.

"Yes, that's why Noblewoman Emily was allowed to live. The demon lord doesn't have direct control over the system, so it has to work within the rules. Now, I'll handle everything from here. Do your best to get out of the city alive."

"What about the barrier?"

"I'll take care of it."

Salem turned and raced out of the room.

I turned to Farentine, who was looking more than a little pale. Her expression told me more than my entire conversation with Salem. "How much trouble are we in?"

Farentine swallowed. "It all depends on whether Salem has the charisma he needs to kill his father."

I swallowed the lump in my throat that had the thought of having to do what he was going to have to do. "I don't have any other ways to increase it."

Farentine gave me a grim look. "That's why I'm so worried."