Chapter 28: Domain Logic, Nicholas POV (Patreon)

Chapter 28

Domain Logic

Nicholas POV

My short stint in prison and the changes which occurred to my Domain when it became S-grade had not been good for my mental health. Ever since I left the Game, I’d been fighting to keep it together. I’d been fighting not to view humanity as insects. I’d been fighting to remember who I was. But the betrayal of the judge changed that.

The insects had to pay.

I stood knee-deep in what was left of the insect's home. 10 Downing Street was nothing but dust, having been de-atomized by my anger and Power. Insect politicians and bureaucrats ran for their lives, unable to comprehend how a building could crumble around them. They were such small and petty creatures. Only a few paused to help the injured.

I scowled in all directions as I spread my Domain through the ground, searching for a bunker. I quickly found where it was and realised it was empty.

The insect bastard wasn’t here.

I would find him, though.

I willed myself into the air, flying a short distance to the Palace of Westminster, where The House of Parliament sat. Anger burned through me as I approached, and the stone structure began to break. Insects fell one floor at a time as the building dissolved under them. A thousand years of history was gone in seconds.

It shouldn’t have been in my way.

I landed in the dust and swept my Domain through what was left, pushing it through the ground in case I’d missed anything before launching into the air again. I would find him, even if I had to pull this world apart.

Rage burned through me as I flew to City Hall.

The massive glass and steel structure began to dissolve as I approached. It started at the top, melting floor by floor. The insects screamed as they fell, but I was beyond caring about them, or at least I thought I was.

As the ninth floor crumbled, falling onto the eighth, I spotted a mother holding her baby. As the floor dissolved below her, she fell. I watched her twist in the air and clutch her baby tight, cushioning his fall with her body. Despite her best efforts, the impact startled and hurt him.

He cried out in pain and fear, and I froze in place.

I’d heard that sound on so many worlds. I’d experience that pain and fear so many times. I’d been the unwilling monster that created that sound so many times. It was a sound I wanted nothing to do with anymore.

His sharp wailing brought me back to reality, back to myself. In that brief second, I saw my actions and the action I was forced to experience through my Domain and as the same thing.

I was everything I hated.

The shame instantly sobered me, and I realised I was losing touch with reality because of my Domain. Seeing people through it now made me view them as insects. It made me remember the things I didn’t want to remember and hate humanity for the horrible things they did to each other. The horrible things they made me experience through them.

As I floated in the sky above the half-broken building, I tried and failed to close my Domain. No matter how hard I pushed myself, I couldn’t make myself do it. My Domain and Power felt like they were more a part of me than my flesh and blood. It would have been easier to pluck out my eyes and cut off my hands than give them up.

Without them, I was more than blind and deaf. The wall seemed to press in within seconds, and the world felt empty and barren in a torturous way.

But I was now aware of how much I was losing touch with reality. I knew I’d experienced too much through my Domain for my mind to cope. The fact that I hadn’t killed anyone yet was a miracle. I was so very close.

I needed to go somewhere that I could shut out the noise. Not somewhere without people, but somewhere I could stop using my Domain. There was only one place I could go to do that, and I didn’t want to go there. The baby released another wail as his mother cried and held him tight.

I turned and flew across the country to the only place in the world where I knew I wouldn’t want to use my Domain. The only place where I might hold it together. The wind rushed past my ears as I broke the sound barrier and pushed myself to go faster. The world blurred and jumped from where I was to where I wanted to go.

As my location shifted, I immediately closed my Domain before I saw something I didn’t want to see. The act of closing my Domain physically hurt and spiked my anxiety, but having it open here terrified me.

I’d rather die than see them that way.

I dove from the sky, not questioning what had happened for me to travel so quickly. I was a God. And Gods did what they wanted.

My feet landed on the grass in the spot where I’d almost killed myself all those years ago. It was a spot I hadn’t visited since that day because it was too painful.

The tears immediately started as my unprocessed grief surfaced. It felt like my heart was trying to tear its way out of my throat. My legs gave out as weakness overcame me, and I collapsed on the ground next to my wife and daughter's grave.

Above my head, the sky turned grey, growing darker by the second. I knew it was my doing but didn’t care. Power was seeping into everything I did. It was no longer a switch that I flicked on and off but a constant companion. It was like my heartbeat.

I wiped the tears from my eyes as I read the inscription.

Here lies Clair Anna Thistlebush,
beloved wife and avid Star Wars fan.

Wrapped in her arms is her beloved daughter,
Belinda Hope Thistlebush
May they forever rest in love and peace.

When the funeral director asked me how I wanted to bury our only daughter, I asked him if I could bury her in Clair’s arms. Losing them both at the same time was the worst experience of my life, but that request and his willingness to do it kept me sane. It was what Clair would have wanted.

I took a deep breath, trying to catch my breath and regain control. There were so many things I wanted to say to her. So many conversations I wanted to have. I missed her so much. I still hadn’t forgiven her for leaving me.

“You would have loved the Game,” I said quietly through the tears that wouldn’t stop. “You would have found some space adventure in the first five minutes and never looked back. You would have dragged me with you, forcing me to explore the galaxy. I would have complained because I always complained when you dragged me into something new, but then I would have started to enjoy myself because you never dragged me into something I didn’t end up enjoying. It would have been the adventure of a lifetime.”

Thick, hot tears ran down my cheeks, filling my mouth with the taste of salt.

“I think I’m broken, my love.” I wiped my eyes. “I’ve seen and experienced the worst of humanity so many times and in so many ways that I’ve lost count. I’ve been the killer and the corpse, the rapist and the victim, and the abusive parent and the scared child. I see and experience everything everywhere. And I can’t stop hating humanity for what they do to each other, for how they hurt each other, for how they hurt me.”

The changes to my Domain during the last Cycle had broken me.

“I just want it to end. I want it to all go away. I can’t take it anymore.”

Thunder cracked over my head as a lightning bolt flashed across the sky. I sobbed harder, just wanting the pain to go away, just wanting help.

“You okay, love?” called a gentle male voice.

I looked up.

A man in his mid-twenties stood a few rows away, leaning on a rake and wearing a pair of old overalls. His hair was as white as snow, a trait which most of us older generation kept up with dye. It meant he was over seventy.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again,” I replied honestly.

He gave me a sad smile filled with understanding. “How did you lose her?”

“Bad weather, a rush to the delivery room, and a drunk driver. I’ll let you fill in the painful details. I spent two days unconscious and woke up to a world that wasn’t the same.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was a long time ago. I should be over it.”

“I’m still sorry. I lost my wife to cancer when she was in her sixties. I’ve always had my faith, but I clung to it more after she passed, which is how I got through.”

I wiped my eyes. “You didn’t blame God?”

“Oh, I blamed God plenty. I screamed. I yelled. I swore at him. He just listened and loved me. I don’t expect that to mean anything to some people, but it does to me.”

“You didn’t hate him for having the power to save her and not doing anything?”

He shook his head. “Part of being God is not wanting to play God.”

I frowned and wiped my eyes again. “What do you mean?”

“He’s supposed to see every rock, every pebble, and every blade of grass. That means he sees men beating their wives and wives cheating on their husbands. Sure, he could stop the men from beating their wives, and when that’s done, the world would be a better place, but it wouldn’t be without its flaws. Next, he could work on the cheating spouses, and when he’s done with them, he could move on to the conmen and robbers. He could keep working his way down the list until no one said an unkind word to each other, and everyone did good things.”

“Why doesn’t he?”

“If he interferes, people lose their agency over their lives, and I imagine his conscience won’t allow him to turn people into puppets. He might want to see a world without horror or cruelty, but he doesn’t want to force that world upon anyone without it coming from within. The whole works in mysterious ways might just be a broken-hearted God wanting and hoping we will do better, throwing out the occasional miracle no one ever sees because he can’t live with himself if he doesn’t.”

“It’s still cruel.”

“Only if he lets us go through it alone, but he doesn’t. He’s there every moment we suffer. He’s there every moment we hurt each other, experiencing our pain as his own.”

“Why would he?”

“Because he’s not a coward. He’s not willing to abandon those he loves to suffer alone.” There was another lightning flash and crack of thunder. “Do you know the story of Jonah?”

“A man doesn’t want to do what God tells him to, so he gets swallowed by a whale or something.”

“It is, in part, a story about God using one man, the right man, to make a big change.”

“What’s your point?”

“The right person in the right place can make a big difference-” A lightning bolt struck an oak tree along the cemetery's tree line. “Shit, run for it.”

He turned and fled.

***

A few hours later, I sat in my mother’s flat and watched her fall asleep in an old armchair she had found on the side of the road. Her pride wouldn’t let her take money from me, so she was living like all the other poor college students. We were returning to the Game, but like last time, I wasn’t falling asleep.

My two worlds merged, so I appeared in both places at once. Talking to her was exactly what I needed to get my head straight. I was not better. I was not happy. But I knew what I had to do now.

I had to end this.

Her flat faded as my Transcendent Power reached out and pulled my consciousness away from my body, thrusting me into my throne room. I had a plan and needed to make it happen before I lost touch with reality again.

As my Domain expanded, I immediately opened a portal and stepped through, appearing beside Nargus at the helm. We were docked at Port Rob.

Pan had used our downtime to shrink the size of The Pantheon so we could travel through the pirate paths. They were much shorter paths than the ones we were using and would have allowed us to evacuate the falling sectors more quickly. The Pantheon now only had one lower deck and a fraction of its former width, making it look like someone had tried to turn a galley into a longship.

The Bionoids were kneeling shoulder to shoulder, worshipping Colin World Ship, taking up all available space on the main and lower decks. Only the bow and stern were empty.

I closed the portal behind me and opened another one in front of The Pantheon. It led to Sector 6.

“Nargus, take us through.”

“Paths wander in search of traveller's feet.”

“We’re going to Sector 6 and then through the pirate paths to Sector 13. I’m not evacuating anyone anymore. I’m dropping the capitol buildings off and then ascending. I’m done being Transcendent.”

My mother had listened to the horrors I’d experienced and convinced me it was time to ascend. She understood I had a debt to repay to Morgan and knew I’d always regret it if I didn’t. So, she encouraged me to hold on long enough to do what needed to be done.

Nargus placed a hand on the helm, and the ship shot forward, passing through the portal. We came out in front of Sector 6’s natural wormhole, and then The Pantheon passed through that too.

A moment later, we came out in an empty section of space. There were no planets or asteroids, just a void and another wormhole. It was peacefully empty compared to everywhere else I had been. Here, my Domain didn’t hurt me.

Nargus immediately jumped to FTL, heading for the next wormhole in the chain. Originally, we had been going to use the pirate paths to reach the falling sectors faster, but that wasn’t happening anymore. I couldn’t hold it together that long. It would be foolish to try.

Pan walked up the staircase to my right.

“We’re going to Sector 13, and I’m ascending. This isn’t negotiable.”

Pan stopped beside me and turned to look over the railing toward the bow. “That’s probably for the best.”

We dropped out of FTL. The Pantheon turned and slid through another wormhole into a shattered system. There were no transit rings or planets, and anything of value had already been mined or left so radioactive it was unusable. Hundreds of derelict pirate vessels sat near the wormhole, ready to fire on anything that invaded.

Nargus shifted us back to FTL. The changes to the Pantheon would turn a three-day journey into a few hours. I had to keep it together for that long, and then this would all be over.

As we travelled to the next wormhole, a powerful distortion wave appeared out of nowhere. It struck The Pantheon while we were in FLT, dropping us in the middle of the system.

“Eyes of the beholder sees the sun,” Nargus instantly bellowed. Energy exploded from him.

Eight foreign beast gods appeared within my Domain as I saw what he saw. They were on our scale but smaller than us.

I opened a portal in front of me as a ball of tentacles collided with Pan. The second that was God heading for me passed through my portal as I turned, drew my pistol, and fired at the one attacking Pan.

I hadn’t tested the upgrade Tiberius had given my weapons, so I was a little shocked when I watched the beam of light disintegrate the Transcendent ball of tentacles that had tackled Pan and wrapped around his chest. The beam didn’t stop once it killed the foreign god, continuing on its way, piercing Pan’s chest and leaving a hole through him that burned and grew wider.

Your Pantheon has killed the Transcendent Trafargrim

+1 Transcendent Minion

+10,000,000,000 Tokens

Pan swore as he drew his pistol and pointed it at the Transcendent insectoid approaching me from my left. I adjusted his aim through my Domain, putting his arm in line with his target. He squeezed the trigger, and a second god dissolved in a burst of light. The sails went with it.

Your Pantheon has killed the Transcendent One

+1 Transcendent Minion

+10,000,000,000 Tokens

The cords of Nargus’s flail lengthened as he flicked his wrist, wrapping around a Transcendent lizard that only came up to his knee. The cords seemed to cause pain because the small Transcendent was screaming and thrashing in place. Nargus’s crook grew to the size of a staff, and he used it to hook the Transcendent by its neck to pull it close.

“Death calls from the land of peaceful slumber,” he roared, opening his mouth monstrously wide, tossing the Transcendent into his maw.

Darkness enveloped them.

I drew my cutlass and spun, swinging it towards the group of five Transcendent beasts coming up behind us. The Power trapped within my cutlass dissolved the lead attacker as the four behind it reached the stern of the ship. The wave of destructive energy that exploded from my blade collided with all four, severely injuring them and disintegrating the stern of the ship.

Your Pantheon has killed the Transcendent Forge

+1 Transcendent Minion

+10,000,000,000 Tokens

Pan drew his transcendent wave cutlass and unleashed a second wave of destructive energy on them before collapsing to the deck. The hole in his chest continued growing wider, splitting him in two.

Your Pantheon has killed the Transcendent Vanisher

+1 Transcendent Minion

+10,000,000,000 Tokens

Your Pantheon has killed the Transcendent Zogran

+1 Transcendent Minion

+10,000,000,000 Tokens

In the space of a second, four Transcendents were dead, one was being eaten, two were heavily injured, and one was in a Horde sector. However, our weapons were back to their original strength, and Pan was about to lose his body, leaving me alone.

I sheathed my cutlass, drew my pistol, and pointed it at the grey shoebill with two sets of wings and the injured horseshoe crab that was next to it. “Surrender, or I’ll shoot you.”

I was being specific with my words. If I had said, “Or I’ll kill you,” that would have detected that I was lying and known I was bluffing.

I couldn’t read how strong they were, which told me Tiberius and his items were the only reason we were still alive. I needed to wait for Nargus’s help and recharge my pistol.

The darkness surrounding Nargus vanished. “Fate calls, letting death answer. Sand follows the path of the sea, seeking rest. The drums sound their call.”

Your Pantheon has killed the Transcendent Donti

+1 Transcendent Minion

+10,000,000,000 Tokens

He struck with his flail, wrapping the injured horseshoe crab-looking Transcendent in cords before leaping forward and opening his mouth. The two of them vanished in darkness.

The shoebill briefly stared at the darkness and then turned to me. “Please, spare my followers. They did nothing to deserve being consumed by a death god.”

“You attacked us,” I growled.

The shoebill squawked. “I’m aware of what we did. I’ll take full responsibility and tell you where I keep my treasure, just promise to spare my followers.”

“Why should I?”

“Because children shouldn’t suffer for their parent’s mistake. I don’t care what happens to me. Just let them live.”

He wasn’t lying. I could tell if he was. Which meant he cared about his insects. It was the first time I’d seen that trait in a Transcendent. Pan respected people, but he didn’t care for them. Tiberus nurtured his people, but he would fight in his realm and let them all die if it meant he could have his revenge.

I sighed. “Are you a pirate god?”

He shook his head. “I’m a privateer god.”

That sounded close enough. “Would you like to join my pantheon?” His followers might push me through a milestone or two. I’d let them live for a better Domain buff when I ascended.

“That depends. Would I be allowed to convince you to give up the pirate life and convert to privateering?”

“Sure.”

He seemed surprised by my answer. “I also want to clarify that I won’t take up arms against my friends.”

“Will you assist them if they attack us?”

“Yes.”

“At least you’re honest. What do I call you?

“Call me Lark.”

“I’m Nicholas. Would you like to join my pantheon, Lark?”

I got the sense he was somehow frowning despite having a beak. “But I just said I would fight on their side.”

“And I respect that. You did, however lose this fight, so it’s not that large of a problem.”

He hesitated until he glanced at the black orb of energy that held Nargus again. “I’ll join your pantheon to save my life and protect my followers.”

The independent Transcendent Lark has joined your pantheon, bringing his followers with him.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have reached a milestone.

You have 24,628,234,723,654/100,000,000,000,000 followers needed to reach your next milestone.

Something flashed behind Lark's eyes, and I got the impression he was seeing me for the first time. A cold feeling filled my gut as he looked at me. I’d forgotten what had happened to Nargus. I hadn’t even considered this might happen to him.

I sighed, hoping I hadn’t ruined another person’s life. “I’m sure suddenly finding yourself a sapient being is difficult.”

Lark erupted in laughter, making a cawing sound. He floated forward and landed on the undamaged deck beside me. He was smaller than Tiberus, only coming up to my waist.

He looked up as he chuckled. “Gosh, you’re new to this. I’m not an NPC. I’m a God. And for your information, we’re all sapient.”

I blinked. “You’re what?”

“I’m alive. All Gods are. Some might be a little batty, but we all have our roles to play and do so willingly. This is how we spend eternity.”

“So you aren’t dealing with the mental trauma of finding out you weren’t real a moment ago?”

He turned and pulled at his wing with his beak. “No, but I’m a little peeved I fell for your ruse. Seven million years old, and I got tricked by a noob. I honestly thought you were a B-grade pantheon with some sort of cloaking artifact like the one we made. Hopefully, this will teach me not to make Wisdom my dump stat.”

I took a step back. “You seem to have undergone a bit of a personality change?”

Lark stretched out his wing, testing their movement, as he directed his Power to heal himself. “I purchased a human liaison package from the shop. Can’t have me walking around making social Faux pas, can I? Kind of an interesting race you have. There are many similarities with my children. I guess that’s why I got the dialogue prompt.”

“What?”

He chuckled and floated higher, placing his wing on my shoulder. “Welcome to the Game, kid. I’m about to disillusion you of all your preconceived notions. This is going to be fun.”