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Loona and the Chocolate Factory - Image Pack and Story! (Patreon)

Published:
2022-10-26 13:08:14
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

If this goes over well, I'd love to do more of this stuff in the future :)

Pin ups will be up later this week. 

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Comments

Mad 'n Evil

Be sure to leave a comment to let me know if you guys like this art-pack :)

Shapeshifter10

I think the forth wall breaks were a bit much. It felt like it was used too frequently. Especially in the beginning where it was the majority of the content. I feel it could have been more in universe as helluva boss has shown plagiarism is industry standard down there with looloo land being a cheep knock off of Lucifer’s lulu land as well as Wally wackford steeling peoples inventions. They could have easily said it was a copy of a living world company and it would have been believable. Loona was very in character. Vulgar, angsty, hot tempered. You clearly put care into how she would act. Her attitude getting her into repeated trouble not only made her accidents feel entirely her fault but also gave it a sense of karma. The situations she kept getting were great. The means to “deflate” her was to fill her floating body was very unique and a good segway to go from inflated back to fat. Her fur retaining a slight blue hue was also cute. Honestly, I’m glad to see you do a story again. Reminds me of the days when writing.com was relevant. I would definitely like to see more stories from you. Hopefully others feel the same.