Regaining Balance: Feedback Needed (Patreon)

Hey All,

Let's chat.

Over the years that I've been blessed enough to write, podcast, and create videos for an audience, I've always felt like I could be very open with those that consume what I put out into the world. I suppose this is one of those times of absolute candor.

In short, I'm feeling really, really stressed out lately. I feel like I don't have enough time in a day (or week) to do everything I need to do to keep what CLS has become running properly, while also taking care of myself. I'm maxed-out, essentially, and something's gotta give. I'm finding ways -- usually late at night -- to sneak in some "me time," particularly with a video game or book, but I have to find a little more normalcy in my life, because I can feel myself burning out. I don't sleep a whole lot (4-6 hours a night at most, typically), and the constant glow of my laptop is probably giving me a tan (though, as an Italian man, I do have a natural olive hue). I honestly don't think there's been a single day since March that I've done zero work. Typically, even on days I try to take "off," that means working at least a couple/few hours on something, and those days might exist once a week or so. I'm not trying to complain, by the way. I'm merely trying to give you a glimpse into my existence.

The introduction of Fireside Chats has invigorated a portion of the audience that wanted More Colin. To be honest, introducing Fireside Chats has been a shot in the arm for me. It's been a hell of a lot of fun recording these few shows so far, but it's also added a great deal to my already over-burdened schedule. I had originally placed a subscriber count on keeping it going; then I decided I just wanna do it regardless. That remains the case. I have two episodes in the can with two different people, a third one is being recorded with Jeff Cannata on Tuesday, and I'm pursing a few different guests for future episodes, too. I even have a couple "audio essay" versions ready for recording. Hell, Erin wants to do an episode where she interviews me. Could be fun!

But something's gotta give, and in looking at everything I do on a weekly basis, the only reasonable way I could free up a few hours for myself is to forego the News Burst, which is something I've grappled with for a while, now. Is this a useful service? Is anyone even reading it? Is it a waste of time? I dedicate quite a bit of time to parsing through stories, finding the right way to deliver the news to you, and all the rest, but it feels like this isolated piece of content compared to everything else I do, and I think it's time for it to go. If, for any reason, for me to retain my sanity. If I look earnestly and holistically at all I do for CLS -- research, write, record, edit, and post the shows, deal with a ton of administrative and business-related things, jump head-first into the community, et cetera -- the only thing I'd even be willing to cut at this point is the News Burst.

I'm not declaring that this is going to happen yet; I don't know if people are going to have a major problem at this tier if it does go. At $5/month, you already get the audio version of CLS exclusively, early access to Fireside Chats, and voting privileges in the topic elections. Is that enough? I think it is. You guys represent a major portion of why this project exists; your $5/month (or more) is everything to me and this project, and I don't want to do anything that endangers your happiness with the product.

On the other hand, I think that a better-rested, freer, and not-so-bogged-down Colin will generate better content where CLS shines most: On YouTube and podcast services. Plus, I'll have a moment to breathe. While I've already outlined what I'm going to be doing schedule-wise for the rest of the year (I'm taking a week off for my birthday in October, half of the Thanksgiving week off, and then the final two weeks of the year off, as I believe I revealed all the way back in the Spring), finding a better cadence and more normalcy in my day-to-day and week-to-week is going to go a long way for me. I know it. I can feel it. I need just a little more me time, just a little more sleep, and just a little less anxiety and stress.

I'm blessed to be able to do this for a living, and I'm blessed that the support you guys and gals have given me remains nearly three times higher than my wildest expectations. I try to leave it all out on the field, and I don't want to let any of you down. Not one person. I hope it shows in what I do that I really do care, and I really am giving it my absolute all. The show has improved so much over these past six months because you have all been patient with me, provided me with feedback, and allowed me to craft something that I'm really proud to put out into the world. All ad-free and completely independent, thanks to each and every person reading this.

So, consider this a conversation. What's the best course of action? What would make you satisfied as a Patron? And what else do you think I could do to find a little more balance in my life? The only other idea I've come up with is to occasionally do one episode a week instead of two, but not in the "half-week-off" sense, but in the sense of giving you, say, a half an hour episode one week, and two 15 minute episodes another. In fact, Episode 50 is going to be one of those times, and I'm hoping you enjoy what I've got cooking.

As always -- literally, always -- your feedback is essesntial. I hope you have a great weekend, and I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read and respond.

Your dude, -Colin