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Episode 8.10 and Behind-the-Scenes (Patreon)

Published:
2023-03-11 18:01:00
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

(cw: imagery of depression/mental health problems)

It only took about a hundred episodes....but Alex finally admits he isn't ok 😭✨

Files

Previews only

Comments

Anonymous

That yellow envelope is a very stimulating prompt for me. First, I'm gonna share some personal stuff that covers the same issues these comics do. So, CW for anyone that might be triggering to. My older brother ran away from home at 15. My younger brother ran away at 13 (both deep in the grips of addiction to meth). I knew several others around my age who left home before 16. None of them took the important documents with them, nor any mementos. This dissonance struck a chord with me. Not because it felt unrealistic that he would have taken important effects/documents. It really makes me wonder about that backstory of Alex and his family. I'm content to wonder, though. Not everything in life gets an explanation or a satisfying closure. It's certainly not happening with my bio-fam, and I'm content to leave that at the place in history I set it down. If I were writing this installment, what would I have placed as the contents? Well, I almost left home at 14 (1995). I think the sadder commentary on the situation is that I wish I had gone through with it. My house was never home when growing up. All of this makes me feel an extra level of pride in myself for who I am, today. I forged this person myself. Nothing can replace having loving parents and a safe home, but the pride I feel isn't just consolation. It's a true satisfaction. So, I had set aside to take: - a picture of myself with my close friend, Sam, who died when I was 12 - a picture of myself at age 4 I felt a real connection to - some letters I had exchanged with other family members that expressed their love and affection for me - three music albums: Weird Al's Dare To Be Stupid (on 12 track tape), Metallica's Black Album (CD), Soundgarden's Superunknown (CD) - I would have worn the one unripped pair of jeans I had, and my "The Tick" t-shirt under a button up flannel shirt For Alex, I could see him including: - a note from his teacher from the 4th grade that expresses that he's a special person and a gifted artist - a few of the birthday cards he got from Marcie and her mom over the years - a penny crushed into a memorial token at a historical place or a tourist attraction that he got when he was a small child and he had special affection for the memory of - a picture Marcie drew of the two of them doing something they enjoyed when they were little, maybe a few months after they first met I could contemplate this longer and see other things that he might have snuck along, but this feels pretty solid.

Anonymous

Also, all that pain and fear Alex feels in this installment is so real. I appreciate the realism and authenticity. I've had a morpheme/evolution of that moment several times over the course of my adult life. Sawah, your ability to depict these moments you haven't experienced IRL from a first person perspective is some sort of artistic empathy super power. The growth of Alex over the last 4 installments is amazing, and it feels so grounded in reality. I draw a lot of joy and hope from these installments. I'm comfortable with the pain experienced by Alex, not because I find the situation he's dealing with acceptable or ideal, but because I've spent enough years sitting with my own, knowing full well that things get better when you have others that love you who support you. As great as the pain Alex has is hitting, the love and support he's getting far exceeds it.

Sawah
>>103840252

Ohhh I teared up reading your list of items Alex would include in his folder! 🥺 That really is a pretty solid collection of momentos, and the idea of him including things that made him feel loved like the teacher's note and birthday cards is too much to handle 😭💗 Near-ish the end of the story, I plan on sharing another flashback to the night Alex runs away. Would you be alright if I included showing a couple items you shared? Thanks so much for sharing your experiences as well. I had no idea you almost went through/have seen others go through with running away; I hope that seeing it in Alex's story isn't triggering. If it is, I can put a cw for mentions of it; just let me know. The pride you have in the person you are today is clear as well -- I'm very happy to have known you at this stage of your life too 🥰 Hearing that those you have known didn't take any momentos or documents with them is very interesting as well. As more is revealed about Alex's bio family and why he decided to leave, I hope you keep the detail that Alex had those items with him in mind! 👀✨

Sawah
>>103840939

aww thank you so much! I'm very glad to hear that even though Alex has been in a state of emotional pain this chapter, you can still get some hope and comfort out of seeing it. Things certainly will get better for Alex, especially with Marcie in his life again - and now with the addition of Jon as well. I'm happy that you can connect your own life experiences and perspective to the story and characters too. It always means a lot to hear how you connect; thanks so much again for sharing! 💗💗

Anonymous
>>103857396

I would be honored if anything I mentioned showed up in Alex's story. It brings me more joy than I can communicate to think they might be included. I am incredibly humbled that you were so moved by my thoughts. None of this is triggering for me. Sadly, it was the CPTSD I got from staying that offers any trauma triggers. I've been able to achieve self-integration and acceptance of those pieces of me, though. It feels weird saying this, but back in the 90's, especially being in a rural, poverty stricken setting, things were different. Two things stand out for me as significant: 1) a lot of people running off were leaving lives they wanted to forget. Mementos that reminded them of it often ended up in the trash. Both of my brothers, a friend I had named Eric, a girl I knew named Julie. They all just threw them in a random trash can or dumpster before leaving home/town. 2) with a life oriented around some significant level of drug consumption, it was easy to function without documents. Cash or other drugs were the only things changing hands in the trade. Additionally, one didn't need to present a birth certificate or SS card to get a job. It was only with the passage of the "Patriot Act" that such things became so inescapably central to life in the US. I am in love with this space we all share, as a community who loves the art you make. You never fail to make me smile in our interactions, and I'm so glad we are here with one another taking this part of our journey, together 💖