Chapter 7 Part 3 of 7 (Patreon)

Silence weighed heavy in the carriage.

"You think we're doing the right thing?" Rugrat asked.

"Someone needs to go to represent Alva."

"Not that, you know." Rugrat held his eyes.

"This is the ten realms, there has to be something out there that can heal us."

"You've spent months researching in the libraries, talking to the doctors, the alchemists."

"Just because we haven't found it yet, doesn't mean there isn't a way. Look at George, he was able to become demi-human through the eighth realm trial. From my research and the information from Lee, we know that it is possible for people to change their bodies as they want after the trial, by gaining their 'will'."

"Most of the techniques and ways that change our bodies are with our cultivation and we are too imbalanced now. The systems are interlinked, mana and elements, they work together. If we increase one, then the other will increase as well. We're both far away from making any breakthroughs."

"I know, but when your mana channels were shattered Old Hei was able to make a master level pill to deal with it."

"And what did he say when you asked him about our conditions?"

Erik grimaced at Rugrat's dry voice.

"We would need someone of the star level to create a concoction for us that might have an effect. We would likely need to be treated over a long period of time by people that hcan use skills of the star level."

"Right." Rugrat sat back against the cushioned bench.

"He also said that if we can't increase our body or mana cultivation that does not mean that we cannot increase our overall level. All three work together." Erik frowned at the words.

"And the eighth realm is a trial that we didn't pass," Rugrat spoke through his clenched teeth. "Christ on a crutch, we're."

"We're what Rugrat, what are we?" Erik let out a snort of a laugh. "Has beens, broken fools? Useless idiots? Two nobodies acting like we're something? I know I know!" Erik cut him off. "We lost our damn cultivation, shit, I can see it in black and white on my stat sheet, I can feel the constant fatigue, the fucking dungeon core fragments that make my muscles ache and my bones itch. I can feel how powerless we are." Erik's voice lowered. "I wonder, I wonder, what if we didn't that day."

"Erik," Rugrat spoke with steel.

He met his brother's eyes.

"I don't, not for a minute do I wish we had done any different, I accept it and you know what I would do it again in a fucking heartbeat, but," Erik's voice softened again as he clenched his hands, wetting his lips. "Fuck dude, I'm scared."

Erik grabbed his forehead, feeling the betraying tears warm his eyes.

"I'm scared that if we stop looking then we'll just fade away. Not the fame and all that shit," Erik made a throwing gesture, looking out the window as he felt the tears run down his face, his mouth full of spit.

He swallowed hard.

"I'm scared if we stop looking, if we stop pushing, we'll lose who we are, that we'll just fade. Stop being us. Just two broken guys that let the world run us down and burn us out." Erik looked at Rugrat who nodded, his lips pressed together, his knuckles white tightening over one another as he ground his jaw.

"Dude, we give up, take it easy, take some time off, relax, what about our edge, what about who we are? I like who I am, who I was I don't want to let this turn me into someone I don't recognize."

Erik wiped his face, sniffing.

"I hate feeling like a burden, seeing Momma that way, taking up everyone's time as they work on me, healing, training and so on when I don't even know if things will get better. I feel like I have to put up a front for everyone hopeful that we will get better, but I don't know if we will. If we are broken and we can't be fixed, I don't want to be the man who broke his mana channels by not listening to others. I don't want to push so far and turn into a little rage monster. I just don't want to let everyone else down. Everyone is trying so hard, but I see how it tears them up when we put ourselves into harms way." Rugrat rubbed the short cropped hair on the back of his head.

"Really, I wanted to go to the eighth and to the Violet Sky Realm, not because I think that we can get past this. I just want to get away from everyone, they're all trying so hard for us and I feel like a fraud taking up all of their time. You know when George came back I was stunned, he made me realize that there must be a way to fix this. It scared me some, because I knew that it would firm others ideas that they can help me."

"And cause he came back as a human," Erik laughed.

"And cause he came back as a human. Dude I'm not gonna lie, its kind of weird. He transforms into his wolf form and its like everything is normal, then he'll go all human and help out Momma with the dishes."

"Well he just wants to lick them clean."

"Yeah, but you know, kind of weird that really if I'm flying on his back I'm sitting on him you know? Like he's a wolf, but a demi-human at the same time?"

"You'll get used to it has he said that he doesn't like flying you?"

"No, but you know what I mean."

"He's a beast first and a human second. Just ask him man."

Rugrat grunted and sat back.

They looked outside the carriage.

"Thank you man."

"What for?" Erik asked.

"I didn't know how to bring it up. Been dancing around it for months, good to know what you think about it and let me say my piece, feel guilty saying it outloud. I know that they're trying to do their best."

"But it feels bad taking up all their time and hopes for something that we're not sure will work." Erik finished.

"Yeah, and man, thank you for sharing, glad you trust me that way man."

"You're my brother aren't you?"

"To hell and back Oorah." They bumped fists as Erik sat back against his bench.

"Okay, just a vacation to a dub-realm to see if we can find anything to fix us." Rugrat says.

"Who knows, maybe we'll find an answer to the eighth question?" Erik smirked.

Rugrat snorted.

"Yeah, ten realms riddles, sounds like a good time."

They chuckled together a weight was lifted from their shoulders.

***