Book 7 Chapters 57 and 58 (Patreon)

Hey folks! Did you actually think I was gonna blue ball you regarding the achievements of that last big fight? Small retcon regarding that convo between Justice Light and Juice Box. I haven't updated the file, but Justice Light is a little more direct with his comments. He asks Juice Box if any of her people have touched any of the basilica guard ogres, and she tells him that a few have. This is a great relief to Justice Light. I'm also going to have to rewrite some of the scenes after the D'Nadia scene several chapters back, specifically regarding what happens with captured enemy soldiers, but that's for tomorrow. Chapter 57

I met up with Li Jun and Zhang as we walked toward the saferoom entrance. But first, we had to make a detour. We silently angled through the dark toward the small, newly-built brig complex just around the bend from the Nest tower. This sat at the base of Li Na’s clock tower, just outside the smoking remains of the Dagda temple.

The stench of burnt stew still filled the area a few days later. The bearded cleric within the temple had apparently boiled himself alive in his own stew, collateral damage from one of Li Na’s dreads during the assault on Club Vanquisher.

Donut was still at the Nest, overseeing the mages who were enchanting the blocks. Li Na and Toyotomi were there with her, and they were showing Donut how to utilize the synergy aspect of the tower.

Li Jun clapped me on the shoulder. His new eye, which at the moment was a swirling orb of black, unnerved me. When it was working, the black changed to look like a miniature, clockwork engine, all contained in the round eye. Even the name of the thing was a little freaky. The Engine of Tomorrow. I wasn’t clear on how it worked, but it gave him the ability to see muscles tensing, and it basically slowed down his own perception of time in short bursts. This allowed Li Jun to basically predict where an opponent was going to strike next and react with amazing speed. Like Bullet Time from the Matrix movies. He and his sister had been training with it nonstop.     

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“Me?” I asked, surprised. “I’m doing okay. I’m worried about Louis. I’m worried about Donut. I’m worried about Elle’s plan. I’m worried that Boomer’s battalion doesn’t have enough troops. I’m worried that we don’t know where the Dream’s troops are. I’m worried about all those war mage things that are going to pounce on us the moment the timer ends.”

“Yes, but what about you?” he persisted. “You seem a little... overworked after that raid on Club Vanquisher. Donut says you received over thirty loot boxes, but you’ve only really told us about your new brush and the potions. Donut said you got a patch, but you haven’t put it on your jacket yet. You usually post all the items in the group chat.” He indicated my Emberus tattoos. “Plus your hands are glowing now.” 

I shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable. The glow came from the Heathen Burn benefit I had for the rest of the floor.

I had, indeed, received 32 loot boxes. Plus several achievements. Plus a new quest after that previous fight. It was overwhelming. Like always, I copied all the achievements into my inventory. At the mention of them, I instinctively opened up the notepad and looked at the ones at the top.

After the battle had completed, and after we’d managed to tie up Milk, get ourselves out through the temple bathroom, bring her to the stronghold, and then drive all the way back to the closest saferoom, I’d met up with Donut and opened up our lootboxes.

I’d received over fifty achievements. Most of them, like usual, were for stupid shit that resulted in low-tier adventurer boxes. I’d also received multiple boxes and achievements for seeing gods for the first time, some of whom I didn’t even remember. None of those resulted in notable loot except a few low-tier rings that we’d ultimately given to Katia so she could test eating them.

I did, however, receive some important achievements:

New Achievement! Varg Vikernes!

Whoa, now. Calm down there, black metal enthusiast. Breaking into and defiling a church is one thing, but breaking into Club Vanquisher, hub of all religion? Causing chaos in the club is the equivalent of, I don’t know, giving the pope a wedgie and then tea-bagging him while he squirms on the floor.

Reward: You are permanently banned from Club Vanquisher. You are permanently banned from all temples except your own religion (Emberus) and any temples where you’ve been named friend of the church (Apito. Eileithyia. Grull. Hellik. Issitoq. Nekhebit. Theia. Yemaya.)

I had no idea what the name of the achievement meant, but it wasn’t a surprise I’d been black-listed from all temples after that clusterfuck at Club Vanquisher.

That I’d been named “friend of the church” with some of those gods was surprising, however. Hellik had just added me to the list, despite my quest to kill him. Apito was a surprise, though she was somehow tied to all of this in a way I didn’t yet understand. Eileithyia, who was being driven by Huanxin Jinx, wasn’t a surprise. Nor was it a surprise, her retainer, the Starbucks logo-looking Yemaya had me white-listed since Donut and I had freed her on the previous floor. Odette was driving Nekhebit, and the Open Intellect’s agent, Rectrix, was driving Theia. Issitoq, however, was a mystery. But it wasn’t nearly as big of a mystery as being named friend of the church to Grull. That just didn’t seem to make any sort of sense whatsoever.

This was all something I’d have to figure out later if we managed to survive the next few hours.      

New Achievement! Liquified.

You, while immortal, blew yourself up. Like, you dropped a bomb at your feet. Hot damn! We have seen some crazy shit this season, but man, there’s nothing quite like the simplicity of such a desperate move. The slow motion replay of that is really quite something. It was similar to watching something small and furry get smushed underfoot, but even more raw, more real, you know what I mean? What a goddamned rush.    

Still... Did you know that only worked because you had god-tier immortality? Most versions of that spell would’ve still caused you to be splattered into so many pieces you would’ve never reconstituted in time. And don’t even think about trying that with that other, bigger bomb you have in your inventory. You were lucky this time. If that had been a magical explosion...  

Reward: You’ve received a Legendary Lucky Bitch Box.

The box had contained a small patch of a group of four-leaf clovers being smashed under a bare foot. I sighed, thinking of it. The patch was sitting in my inventory, where it would remain. I don’t know what the system was thinking when it gave it to me. It was clearly something I would never wear:

Upgrade Patch. Small.

This upgrade patch depicts a perfectly-perfect, mouthwatering human foot treading upon a patch of four-leaf clovers, creasing them as it presses down with gentle but oh-so-firm force. Despite their non-sentient nature, the clovers have a brief moment of awareness as they suffer, and it is fucking delicious.

Delicious.  

Affixing this patch to an eligible garment will imbue the following benefits:

Lucky Shot. A fatal blow will be deflected into the body of a party member instead. This benefit may only be used once per floor.

Warning: Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.

Even with Donut’s Cockroach skill, there was no way I would risk wearing this. I didn’t care how valuable it was. I wouldn’t wear it, and I didn’t want the others to know what it did, lest they attempt to talk me into installing it.

New Achievement! You in my house now, boy!

You have entered the temple of a god, you have pissed off that god to his face (well, in this particular case, you pissed him off to his weird-ass bug body head. Seriously. I can’t stop thinking about how goddamned bizarre this guy is), and you have faced that god in battle in their own temple.

Reward: None! The only reason you’re not getting a celestial box for this is because your ass was saved by another god.

That was true. Hellik had come along and banished Khepri before he could do something to me. And it wasn’t just me. Katia and Prepotente had both received that achievement as well.

Still, it was irritating I hadn’t received anything for that. I had blasted him with a bomb, twice. And now I was permanently marked for death by him. Though I suspected that wasn’t going to last long. Khepri’s original description had given me a pretty big hint about some things that were currently going down on the 12th floor. He and Odette’s Nekhebit were in the same sub-pantheon. Someone was going through and killing off all the gods in that group. I figured it was either Odette for some reason or possibly Huanxin Jinx. I didn’t know enough to form a proper guess.   

New Achievement! Celestial Orgy of Chaos!

You have been in the presence of more than ten gods at once, and you survived.

Now, here’s a mystery. Someone let out a bunch of gods who shouldn’t have been allowed into the temple in the first place. It probably wasn’t who you think it was. But the fact you survived this crazy orgy of a fight means you all need a serious pat on the back because I was pretty certain at least one of you—looking at you, Zhang—was toast.

Reward: You’ve received a Celestial Who Let the Gods Out? box.  

This was the one that Me, Katia, Li Jun, Zhang, and Prepotente had all received. Bautista had gotten outside early in the fight, and he’d also received the achievement, but his had just been a legendary box. Still, he’d gotten a guidebook on his stuffed animals, something that would tell him what each one did before he used it. He’d promised to let me borrow it so I could look up that Kimaris figure I had, but we’d been so busy, it hadn’t happened yet.

And speaking of the question, who let the gods out, it was still a mystery. Naturally, I’d assumed it had something to do with Samantha, but this time it didn’t seem to be the case. The basilica ogre guards had come up from below to help in the fight, and that had, apparently, left the front door unguarded, but it seemed there was more to it than that, and it was yet another mystery.

New Achievement! Hey Larry, can I borrow your chainsaw?

You have utilized a borrowed skill or spell in battle. You have used this borrowed ability to kill an opponent. Oh, man. This opens up a whole new possibility of fighting styles, don’t you think? Just keep those tattoos above the knee.

Reward: You’ve received a Platinum Have You Goddamned Figured Out How To Use This In Conjunction With the Fucking Voodoo Book Yet? Jesus Christ I Can Only Help You So Much box.

The reward was a skill potion that ended up bringing my Pugilism skill up to 15 on its own, which was great, but the name of the box had sent Mordecai and Rosetta into a flurry of research. Even Zev had commented on it, saying she’d never even heard of such blatant hand-holding by the AI.

In addition to the regular achievements, I’d also received a few messages and a quest from Emberus as well. I was hoping he’d cancel out the whole kill-my-brother thing, but Hellik’s message had only served to enrage the god. And in fact, now everything was worse than it was before.  

New Quest.

Fuck My Brother. Fuck him to the fires of Sheol.

Kill 100 worshippers of Hellik. Do so before you reach the 12th floor.

Time Limit: This must be completed before the collapse of the 11th floor, and as a practical matter, you should complete it before you complete the Kill Hellik quest.

Reward: If you complete this quest, you will receive a permanent boon of Celestial quality.

At least there wasn’t a penalty for failing this one, but more concerning was immediately after receiving this new quest, I had a second, confusing and alarming message from Emberus, this time in a more contemplative voice.

Emberus: Am I wrong to hate him? He has treated with Issitoq on our behalf, who has in turn allowed the peace to be breached. I am now allowed to kill the other Sheol princes in exchange for the information Amayon has about Geyrun. And what does he mean about our mother and sister? You, my martyr, be vigilant. If you survive killing Hellik, like he surely deserves, I fear I may turn my rage and grief on you for daring to hurt my own kin, and for this, I love you, beloved but doomed worshipper. I promise the burning will be exquisite.

What the actual fuck. Even re-reading this for the tenth time, it still filled me with such dread. It put me in an impossible position, and for the first time I started to wonder if I should just risk taking the smite instead.

That, of course, was the “out” that the patch gave me. I still wasn’t even tempted to use it.  

I sighed. Mordecai had warned us from the beginning to stay away from gods. He hadn’t been wrong, but each day, it became more and more difficult, especially now.

I thought of the Gate of the Feral Gods, now in Elle’s hands.

T-minus one hour before the chaos would begin.

“Has anyone tried to escape?” I asked.

“No,” Zhang said. “It’s pretty well built to protect against it. And by the time they’re in there, they’re all pretty resigned to their fate.”

Zhang’s new cape fluttered behind him. It was white with the standard black, blue, red, and yellow circles of an archery target on it. It was his prize in the celestial box. It was a great, but dangerous, item. It was a unique item called Zhang’s Cape of Odds. When it wasn’t activated, it gave him plus 15% across the board for all his stats plus a level 10 Dodge skill. His skill in that was already 11, so it brought it to 14.

But it also came with a once-an-hour skill called Roll the Dice, which reminded me of the Wheel of Fortune game at the casino. If he activated the skill, one of 333 different outcomes could appear. Most of the outcomes were great, such as doubled strength for ten minutes. The ability to fly for an hour, etc. There were a few really epic outcomes, as well, such as Death Ray and several various summons.

But there were 66 outcomes on there that were bad. None of them killed him outright, and all were temporary, but there was paralysis, all stats are now 5, and something called “It’s been four hours and I think it’s time to call the doctor” which sounded ominous as fuck. The worst was “Summon the God Who Hates You Most.”

But, and here was where the cape was especially insidious—and a true Celestial item—was that after 19 spins, you could manually pick one of the choices.

Zhang wore the cape proudly, but he said he wasn’t going to actually use it unless absolutely necessary.   

“How many are left?” I asked as we approached the brig building.

“Just one,” Zhang said, sounding nervous, as if he was afraid to tell me.

I wasn’t surprised at all.

When Li Na first approached me and asked if she could have my extra Ring of Divine Suffering, my initial reaction had been fuck no. She was quite possibly the most powerful crawler in the dungeon already, and I’d worried that while it would make her stronger, it’d also drive her to do something crazy. I’d briefly, and privately, discussed it with Katia, Imani, Donut, and Elle, and I’d been surprised at their reaction.

Only Imani had been against it. Katia and Elle were both adamant it was a good idea. Elle had been especially vehement.

She can handle it better than you certainly can, she’d said. And if she can’t, at least it’ll be the ring that kills her. She’s a scary psycho, but at least she’s our scary psycho, Carl. She’s the quiet type of scary, too, not like you or goat boy. At least I always know what your mood is. With Li Na, we want to stay on her good side.        

But it was Donut who’d truly made me want to give the second ring away. She didn’t say her reasoning, but she’d looked at me, not using chat, and simply said, “Please, Carl. Please give it to her. Do it as soon as you can.”  

Li Na had also asked about the Necklace of Indelible Woe but ultimately decided she didn’t want it, especially now that she had several level-15 dreads that she could possibly lose if she used the necklace. It remained in my inventory for now.

So, no, it wasn’t a surprise that the brig—filled with off-world mercenaries we couldn’t trust—was empty of all the prisoners save one, the one prisoner I’d specifically asked to leave alone.

It was also suddenly obvious to me why Donut had basically begged me to give her the ring.

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.” We stepped into the building.   

Chapter 58

Rishi the naga, now ostensibly a member of the Princess Posse, stood before me. Without his armor and with his arms removed, he looked less like a naga and more like a massive cobra.

Li Jun and Zhang remained outside. I’d asked the guards to leave, leaving me alone in the small building with its lone occupant. My viewer count was spiked. In fact, the viewer needle had a blue hue to it that it didn’t normally have, and I wasn’t sure what that meant. I’d look it up after I was done with this.  

I examined the large, green and purple snake, lit by a single spotlight. Darkness had settled outside, making the naga look especially menacing. He was the sole remaining member of the original Blood Sultanate left alive on the floor. He sat serenely in his small cell, a smug, strangely amused expression on his snake face.  

He’d surrendered himself to Donut, Imani, and Elle shortly after we’d killed Vinata. He’d buried himself in the dirt outside the castle and had waited for it all to be over before emerging. 

Because he wasn’t a blood member of the court, he wasn’t a part of the whole Sepsis Whore quest. But, in real life, he had been married to a distant cousin of the royal family. He’d been the representative Vinata had sent for the preproduction meetings, and I got the impression outside the dungeon he held a fairly important role in the real naga government.    

As a rule, when we defeated another faction, mercenaries would be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, but in general, if they were just grunts, I’d allow them to join up with us. My standing rule was to kill the higher-up officers immediately before they became a problem even though they, too, were now technically members of the Princess Posse. The Conscription spell was far from perfect, and I knew of several tricks one could employ to hinder an army’s efforts even with the debuff active.

If they were a member of the actual management team, a part of the original group that willingly came here to fight, they were treated differently. They were to be kept alive, encased with magic protection, and left alone until I could get to them. Li Na’s White Dragons were in charge of keeping the prisoners.

I knew Rishi was no coward, so the strange manner in which he’d hidden himself was more than just curious. It didn’t make any damn sense. I’d been putting off visiting him, but it was finally time.

According to the guards, Rishi hadn’t said much since he’d surrendered, though he’d asked more than once to speak with me. He just sat there silently in the cell, completely encased in a square-shaped containment shield that would protect against most bombs and cloud attacks. The shield also had a prismatic effect, which made him appear as if he was on a television screen. This would supposedly protect from charm spells and things like the Eye of the Bedlam Bride, should he have something like that hidden upon him. In addition, he was stripped of his gear, and the cell had a secondary shield around it that would keep him from casting anything. We didn’t have a method to keep him from pulling something from his inventory, but the Conscription spell mostly prevented him from attacking me and the guards.

Still, someone—clearly Li Na—thought it would be best to take extra precautions and had his four arms removed, which was especially barbaric. He would still be able to drop things out of his inventory, but his ability to wield weapons was severely diminished. He claimed his inventory was empty of weapons and magical items, and all that he carried was some documents, water, and food.    

“Why weren’t you with your wife and the princess in the temple of Khepri?” I asked.

The large, green and purple naga smiled down at me, his tongue flicking out. “I knew that if I went with my wife into the that temple, I would be just as dead as everyone else. I warned them all not to go, but the late princess believed her plan to kill you with a god was a sound one.”

“It was,” I said. “It almost worked. But I’m more curious about you. You don’t seem too broken up about the death of your princess. Or your wife.”

Rishi didn’t stop smiling. “I was quite fond of my wife, despite the fact she hadn’t yet given me a clutch. But I had already grieved her death starting from the moment the mantis team fled. I implored Vinata that we, too, should leave, yet she insisted we stay. So I made peace with my inevitable death then.”

“The mantis team abandoned faction wars when we were still on the sixth floor,” I said. “You expected to die even back then?”

The armless naga chuckled softly. “I did not expect you and the crawlers to rise up like you have, nor did I expect Faction Wars itself to be the manner of my death, but it was clear something was wrong. The mantids do not flee anything, and for them to run like that... They were scared of something.” He paused. “Did you know that the Aryl system went dark the moment Princess Formidable hit the failsafe?”

“Princess Formidable herself didn’t make it to the failsafe,” I said. “The AI pulled her off her ship and dropped her into the ocean on the surface. But, yes. I did hear that. That was where the last season occurred.”

Rishi nodded, but he didn’t elaborate his point.

“You haven’t answered my question,” I finally said. “Why did you hide? Why didn’t you fight? I thought you were honorable.”

He paused for a very long time. “Have you heard the term ‘The Great Consensus’ before?”

I had. I had heard it from Loita. Loita the kua-tin I’d assassinated on the fifth floor.

“It’s some sort of nazi bullshit, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know that term. But it is a philosophy that is gaining momentum amongst many systems. It basically teaches the Syndicate was a mistake, and we are all better off on our own. There are many aspects of it, and some have taken the idea and turned it into something xenophobic and evil, which is ironic considering the name of the philosophy. The Bloom party of the kua-tin, for example, believe in racial purity and dislike the cultural influence of so-called ‘dry’ races. The mantids disdain what they believe are weaker and inferior species. Amongst the naga, some want what you want. Some naga believe while we can learn from each other, alien communities should have no say in how we live our lives.”

I grunted. “You sure have a funny way of showing it.”

He nodded. “I agree. And I know you don’t believe it, but Vinata was a firm believer in this philosophy. She’d seen war on alien soil, and she firmly believed it was all for nothing. Her father insisted she participate in Faction Wars. We needed the tourist money. We needed to keep the shipyards staffed and running. We were going to steal the entire fleet and run. We were going to travel, as a whole, for an entire generation, off in a direction that none of the tunnel threads point. Off to a place where it would be a very, very long time before we were found. That was our Great Consensus, engineered by Princess Vinata. To leave.”

 I leaned in. “I don’t give a shit. What does any of that have to do with you hiding like a little bitch while your wife and princess died?”

He sighed. “Just before the meeting of the warlords, news broke that laid out our plans regarding our intention to renege on our shipyard contracts, which caused immediate chaos in our system. Because of the Emergency Action Item you enacted, we were no longer able to see what else was happening at home. That is when I decided to flee and hide.”

“Why?”

“So I could implore upon you our plight and make an offer to you. It was a gamble, but I suspected Vinata would fall. I have in my inventory a signed and AI witnessed document for you, the de-facto leader of Earth.”    

I laughed. He did not.

A sheet of paper appeared and dropped to the floor. I couldn’t get it through the protections, and it landed sideways, against the shield. It was covered with glittering, holographic seals.  

“Leader of Earth? Are you smoking crack?”

“Syndicate law dictates that in the absence of a working government, the native leader of a planetary body will be chosen by multiple factors. And while there are other military groups upon the surface who are clearly more suited, as well as other in-dungeon entities who could easily claim the title, the fact you are a warlord and the number one crawler on the leaderboard makes your claim legitimate. And because no formal leadership claim has yet been filed, we petitioned on your behalf while drafting that document, and the court granted the petition. The position is mostly honorary, but it does allow you to be a signatory on Earth’s behalf.”

“What?” I asked. “What does that even mean? And what does the document say?”

He seemed to shrug, which was difficult without arms. “I’m sure your attorney can explain it to you. But the document does nothing unless you sign it. It gives Earth natives citizenship rights in all naga territories, plus five Naphil-class generation ships. This is in exchange for allowing us to terraform and settle upon the other planets in your system post crawl once there is no longer a quarantine.”

“You are smoking crack. How is that a good trade off?”

“For a while, I assumed the failsafe would be blown, and that would be how we died. But we waited too long, and the system has gone primal. I still expect us all to die, but now I am no longer certain about the fate of those on the surface. You have millions of fellow humans up there, struggling. If this were a normal crawl, the system would go into a quarantine for some time post crawl. It would eventually open up, and the parasites from all corners would descend and bleed you dry. If it still ends that way, the children of your survivors will need friends. We can help each other. And by granting you five Generation ships, you can guarantee the survival of your progeny. Or you can sell the ships in exchange for protection. If this ends like usual, those planets will be settled whether you like it or not.”

“And if it doesn’t end like usual?” I asked.

“If you are wiped out, then we have lost nothing. But if not, this is where our gamble truly pays off. If your people manage to persist, if the post-crawl collection doesn’t happen, this macro AI will continue to spread, and, perhaps, a new inner system-style community will emerge with all the benefits of the current inner system. The natives will be protected by the AI and will soon rise to be some of the richest, most influential forces in the galaxy. And my people, who protected you during your time of turmoil, will emerge as great friends of the citizens of Earth, and both shall prosper.”    

I was still reeling over the whole “de-facto ruler of Earth” thing. And sometime during his explanation, I stopped fully paying attention. But I still caught the gist of it. “And Vinata signed this? This doesn’t sound anything like that Great Consensus thing. In fact, it sounds like the opposite.”

“No,” Rishi said. “She did not sign it. She would not agree to something like this. I said she was a proponent of the philosophy. I am not. I drafted this, and I am the one who signed it.”

I just looked at the snake. “You? I’m confused. Are you allowed to make such deals?”     

New Achievement! Holistic!

Your feed has reached a 95%+ viewer ratio of a single system!

Over 95% of all viewers in the entire, newly-coined Naga Sultanate of the New Reformer are currently watching your feed!

Reward: You have received a Legendary Fan Box! This box will only be voted on by viewers in the Naga system.  

“I am allowed to make such deals,” Rishi said, pulling himself taller. “I am allowed because I am now the leader of the new Naga Sultanate.”

“Uh,” I said. “I thought all that sultan stuff was in your history. What about the current king guy? Vinata’s father?”

“My brothers should have him properly deposed by now. Him and his remaining children. We have been planning this for some time now. And you, Carl, with your influence...”

I held up my hand, stopping him. I was staring down at the contract, still on the floor. He’d signed it all right. He’d signed it Sultan Rishi the Usurper, First of his Name of the Naga Uprising.   

I laughed. That was not the same name that had been in that achievement.  

“You know what? I don’t actually care about any of this Game of Thrones bullshit. I just have a question for you. What happens to that contract if you die before I sign it?”

He flicked his tongue. “It will be up to the new leadership to decide if it is valid, and it’ll have be re-signed by the new leader or council. After what has happened, it may take some time. But if I am to be kept alive, you will be certain that some semblance of stability will...”

I held up my hand again.

Warning: Open Hostilities begin in 40 minutes.

Elle: Katia, you are a genius. You timed it perfectly.  

Katia: Thank Milk. Her maps are insanely accurate.

My chat was filled with preparations. I needed to hurry this up. So far we didn’t see any enemy movement except some repositioning of the orc troops. I had to get this over with and get into place. I hadn’t actually expected any of this posturing from the naga when I came here, and I hadn’t planned this sort of conversation. But I had been curious, and now I knew why he’d done what he had. He was just like all the others, like Empress D’Nadia. A power-hungry asshole. It was oddly disappointing.  

I looked the naga up and down. “I’d like to renegotiate on behalf of Earth.”

He straightened even further, and his tongue flicked again.

“Of course. Tell me your terms.”  

“This is what I want. I want you to shut up. I want your people to take those ships you offered us, to get into them, and to drive yourselves into the nearest star. But first, I want you, Mr. new Sultan of the naga, to know something.”

I paused, and he didn’t respond. But that smug look on his snake face had finally left.

The thirty seconds have passed.

You have successfully marked Rishi of the Princess Posse.

His highest stat is Dexterity.

“Some people might find all of these politics interesting. But me? It makes my head hurt. I can’t get away from it. I know, I know. It’s probably important for me to be aware of all this stuff. But not today. Today I’m just happy that all your people are watching. You know why? Because it means they get to watch yet another of their so-called leaders killed. And spoiler alert for those at home. Rishi here is just the opening act.”~~~~~Hi everyone. Whew. Hoping to put some space between those chapters in Club Vanquisher and the pure insanity of what's about to happen. Thank you so much for all your support. I'm off in a few days to Hawaii to move my daughter from her 3rd floor apartment to her new place, and I'm staying an extra week by myself, holed up with no plans whatsoever other than to write what's to be the most difficult thing I've ever attempted to write. Similar to the chaos of the end of the last floor, but on a much bigger scale. Very difficult in first person, but we'll get it done. But first I had to get the Rishi stuff out of the way because while it's important to see how chaos is slowly unfolding out there, the specifics of what's going down with the naga aren't really important anymore. But now we know the kua-tin aren't the only ones who now regret what they've become. And while the Bloom is awful, they're not the only ones who are becoming increasingly isolationist. And as the naga threat fades, the goings-on of the 12th floor along with those Emberus quests Carl has been studiously ignoring are about to flare.  Donut has been strangely absent these past few chapters. That's about to change in a big way. Looking forward to seeing how she deals with the amount of power she's just been given. + Plus we're FINALLY going to play with some of the bigger toys of the battlefield. Thanks everyone! Next big event? DragonCon! More on that soon. But I also have this. I didn't make this poster, but it'll be me and my buddy Django Wexler doing a Q&A and a signing. :