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Poll

Name the new pet (Book 6/7 spoilers)

  • Sherman (ala Sherman Tank) 166
  • Meatball 174
  • Chewy 77
  • Gumbo 75
  • Sir Rendlegore. (eventually call him Rend.) 613
  • Nugget 118
  • Tugboat 204
  • Balzac 185
  • Scrappy 42
  • Cousin Oliver 45
  • Monkey 44
  • 2023-07-08
  • —2023-07-12
  • 1743 votes
{'title': 'Name the new pet (Book 6/7 spoilers) ', 'choices': [{'text': 'Sherman (ala Sherman Tank)', 'votes': 166}, {'text': 'Meatball', 'votes': 174}, {'text': 'Chewy', 'votes': 77}, {'text': 'Gumbo', 'votes': 75}, {'text': 'Sir Rendlegore. (eventually call him Rend.) ', 'votes': 613}, {'text': 'Nugget', 'votes': 118}, {'text': 'Tugboat', 'votes': 204}, {'text': 'Balzac', 'votes': 185}, {'text': 'Scrappy', 'votes': 42}, {'text': 'Cousin Oliver', 'votes': 45}, {'text': 'Monkey', 'votes': 44}], 'closes_at': datetime.datetime(2023, 7, 12, 0, 0, tzinfo=datetime.timezone.utc), 'created_at': datetime.datetime(2023, 7, 8, 22, 32, 2, tzinfo=datetime.timezone.utc), 'description': None, 'allow_multiple': False, 'total_votes': 1743}

Content

If you're holding out on reading book 6 until audio, you'll want to skip this poll. ***Carl is getting a pet. Ren's Tummy Acher needs a new name. The system will not allow it to be named Garret, and Carl will suggest to name it Garret 2 to which Donut will have a visceral, negative reaction. She's also going to object to adding him to the party either way and will go on a rant about adding new, cute characters late season ala Scrappy Do, and Cousin Oliver in the Brady Bunch, hence the last few choices. Whatever you pick will be set in stone. I'm already writing this scene, hence the shorter than usual poll.   Multiple choices allowed so y'all can game the shit out of the poll. Also, I love the idea of Meatwad, but I want to avoid trademarked characters, unless it's a joke. Monkey is an unlikely choice, but it's the dog from Gossip Girl.

Comments

Thomas Issa

I say meatball, it looks like a meatball call it meatball

Bradley Carrico

Sir Rendlegore would be so confusing fit the audible listeners. I swear if y'all choose that one

Dee

Tugboat just screams pet name 😆

wartgalore

Omg i want sir rendelgore to win cause its so fucked up and I'd like to see the situation that leads to them picking that

CosmicCass

There is no other option other than Sir Rendlegore. We cant let jeff get away with not saying that name.

CosmicCass

Rendy would be a good nickname too

Fumble The Hunk

All of the names are so good I'll be happy no matter what ends up winning but Chewy is obviously the best.

Alice

God looking at the vote distribution your audience is trolly AF

Michael Neal

I like gumbo, but that's a long way from winning. 🤔

Chase Henson

Sir Rendlegore is the kind of gallows humor Carl would appreciate. Military/medical workers have the darkest senses of humor. Being in the crawl will deepen that I bet while still honoring your dead friend.

Blake Bennion

Guys, how can it be anything other than Cousin Oliver?

Greg Danes

I voted for Sir Rendlegore, but not to be trolly, but because I think when they call him Rend it will be a fitting tribute for Tsrendelgore (sp)

Saurid

I love the Sherman option but it seems like it won't win sadness ...

BJ

I think Sir Rendlegore is a nice tribute.

Donato Hunter

The Sherman option was my instant choice until I scrolled to Sir Rendlegore. It’s just too good to not pick. But if we meet another Tammy character named Sherman later I wouldn’t be mad.

Dis Parat

Poor Ren. A tribute to how to incorrectly pronounce her name...

JOSHUA ELKINS

Can Pepto be an option. It's what I first thought when I read tummy acher.

Mark Estep (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-05 05:00 Please don't do meatball. When I think of the name meatball I think of aqua teen hunger force which... doesn't hold up. I tried watching the new movie that came out and I turned it off after 5 minutes. Rendlegore is a good name, it's what I voted for
2023-07-08 23:02

Craig Carey

Dammit i was so into the monkey name, and then I saw Sir Ren.....amazing choice, and I cant see another name now.

Adam Barnes

I saw Rendlegore and was like "YUP! There it is!"

Jules Deathwish

"Heh, Ball sack". My wife, ladies and gentlemen.

Ash Tuck

Was all for monkey til I saw Sir Rend! Come on guys make it happen!!

WyrdWizard

Was Meatball until Sir Rend

DannyK

He’ll always be Balzac to me

Charles White

I totally agree about Meatwad (it’s the exact image in my mind when you first described the tummy acher). But there are a few nods you could have taken as a homage to Meatwad. Master Meatlock (a combo of all three ATHF). Hankwad (Meatwad’s future son). Or maybe Handbanana (Meatwad’s “pet” dog). Short of ATHF references, a nod to Ren is nod to her sacrifice.

Jim Robinson

Scrappy! To really nail the point home.

Cheshirerogue

It should totally be Sir Rendle The Gore-Nugget!!!

BJ

Tugboat because thay would be my stripper name. Lol

Jenifer Martinez

I just feel like “Sherman” is what Carl would pick based on his naming of the MOAB.

Linnea Nelson

Sir Rendlegore or Monkey because Carl is sentimental and Donut would be more likely to accept him if it is Gossip Girl related.

MAS

No Meaty McMeatface?

Kyle Tunnell

Carl would absolutely go with Tugboat. Need more Coastie references.

Jeff

Tummy McTummyAche

KuruPatreon

I am all for ballsa...I mean Balzac

Michael Alpert-Appell

Kind of curious Matt, if you're willing to tell: was it always the plan for Garret to end up with Carl or did the idea come to you as the plot went on?

John L Briere

Sir Rendlegore Balzac is especially badass

Bru-

Cousin Oliver is really the best choice but most people really aren't old enough for it to win. Not even sure Donut should know it. Have not seen reruns for that in years.

Robert Sutherland

I would have gone for the great gazoo but rend Balzac works

Zauz

Sir Rendlegore(rend) and Tugboat are the only names that I think will sound really good on the audio book when Jeff is constantly yelling "Goddammit Tugboat" or "Goddammit Rend"

Matthew Paulin

My cats name is butt-face. That's my vote lol

Daniel Reiss

Surrenderglore (maximum shade)

Matan Gilat

I am all for Sherman, myself.

Betty

I was still hoping we could shorted it to Gore instead. Surrender, Gore!

Kalliope

Makes only sense for the noble retinue of the Princess Posse to recieve his due title, hence Sir Rendlegore, of course.

Keera thoughts

dear matt, hoping you could release next chapters soon, Im addicted to these new chapters of book 7

Brewfox

Meatball Ron would have me doing a spit take.

Dan

Oh man! I love that you added my suggestion! Go Sir Rendlegore!

Ben Longman

I think Rendlegore is a direct reference to Tsrendelgore (sp) and also something else other than rend and gore. Can someone enlighten me. Serious tip of the tongue here.

Walter Pfaff

Achilles would also be a good name for his weaknesses!

Jay Titus

Mini Donut not on the list? That would piss donut off.

David Horsman

I think cousin Oliver would have won if people got the reference. This is such a cousin Oliver move. Having a scene where cousin Oliver jumped the shark would have been epic.

dot Faith

I'm way too late to this, but I remember thinking how cute it would be to call him Renson - as in, son of Ren! Anyway, thatll be my head cannon nickname.

Michael Driver

How about Meatloaf as an homage to the late, great troubadour…