My Teenage Highschool Romance Comedy Can't Be This Perverted! Chapter 117 (Patreon)

Not beta read yet.

Next update is An Archer's Promise.

So, just in case people are curious. When I got the idea of what Aphrodite looked like, I mostly went something similar to this.

The physique fits the world of DXD. It's from records of Ragnarok for those curious. Zeus would look like his younger self from God of War.

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-Kuoh-

The thunder rolling in from the distance made me look up.

It wasn't exactly difficult to figure out what that meant. The sound had started somewhere far away, but it was getting closer with every passing second. Considering who we had just pissed off, there was only one possible explanation.

Zeus.

The Ruler of the Skies had apparently decided that being insulted, having his advances rejected, and getting his ass kicked by Tiamat all in the same evening constituted grounds for becoming slightly upset. Personally, I thought his reaction seemed a little excessive, but then again, I had never been particularly good at understanding the emotional standards of people who could casually throw lightning around.

Still, this had always been part of my plan.

"I'll promise you a date for another time."

Akeno smiled at me. "Of course."

The instant those words left her mouth, lightning crashed down onto the plaza several meters away.

BOOM!

The ground shook from the impact. Dust and fragments of stone scattered outward as Zeus emerged from the smoking crater, his clothes reduced to little more than shredded remains. Several injuries covered his body as well, evidence of the beating Tiamat had given him before leaving the fight.

So she really had managed to rough him up that badly.

"Never in a thousand years has someone so much as insulted me the same way you have!"

I received a message inside my head before I could respond.

Tiamat's voice reached me through, sounding mildly disappointed. ‘Shame that I could not split this God into two pieces, can't I just swallow him whole or just push him in the underworld to continue the battle there?’ 

I shook my head.

‘No need for that. You did enough. Thanks for the help.’

Tiamat huffed. ‘Well, I always did want to see just how powerful this Olympian God was, the king of the Gods and all. I've been wanting to release some of the frustration from these past few days anyway. I've been in a bad mood, but at least it wasn't aimed at him.’

I couldn't help but think that was probably for the best. Getting eaten by her because she happened to be irritated would certainly make for an unusual obituary.

Lightning flickered around Zeus's body as his anger continued to build. He looked at me like he couldn't believe I still had the nerve to stand there without trembling.

"Quite the audacity you have, standing there so confidently."

I shrugged.

"Hey, you're the one who tried to get freaky and cross the line with my girlfriend. My lover, actually. I couldn't exactly sit back and watch that happen. I'm not much of an enjoyer of those kinds of things, but if you're interested, I can find you someone who is."

That reminded me of one of the stranger people I'd encountered while traveling around the world. Unfortunately, my experiences had taught me that humanity had no shortage of people capable of making you question whether you had actually heard what they just said.

There had also been that particular man who wanted a demon to seduce his wife and gradually corrupt her without her realizing this was his request. The man had apparently considered that a perfectly reasonable request to make to a group of devils.

Rias and I had immediately left.

We passed the request along to Sona, because apparently she had more patience for that kind of nonsense than we did. Seeing her return later with a bright red face after dealing with the situation had honestly been one of the more entertaining things I'd seen that week.

I really should stop getting distracted.

"Enough!"

Zeus's shout snapped me back to reality. "No matter what your relationships are, you do not get to treat me like this. I will teach you a lesson and make you regret your decision."

I casually raised my hand and scratched inside my ear with my pinky.

"Sure. You can do whatever you want."

There probably weren't many people capable of making the King of the Gods feel even more insulted simply by picking their ear while he gave a speech.

Apparently, I had found one.

Several heavy steps came in my direction. Zeus clearly intended to attack me, and I could see him approaching from the corner of my eye. Yet before he could take another step, another bolt of lightning descended.

This one struck him directly.

It didn't cause much damage, but it forced him to stop. Akeno stood nearby with one hand extended, lightning crawling across her body and illuminating her smile.

"Take another step forward and I'll treat you as an enemy. An animal that needs to be put down."

Zeus stared at her before a confident smirk returned to his face.

"Your lightning and magic are powerful, but I am the God of the domain of lightning. You are far from capable of harming me." He looked between us, almost as though he had suddenly decided this entire situation could still turn into something pleasant. "This could have been a wonderful night."

I returned to my seat.

There wasn't much else for me to do at this point, so I picked up a few grapes and started eating them while Zeus continued talking. The man's speeches really did seem to have no end. At this rate, the sun might come up before he finally got around to attacking.

Unfortunately, the longer I watched him, the less amusing it became. Lightning began gathering around his body.

His eyes started glowing with the same energy, and every spark around him seemed to carry more power than the last. I could keep my expression neutral, but that didn't mean I felt particularly relaxed anymore.

How much longer did I need to stall? Tiamat had already done her part. Akeno could buy me some time, but Zeus clearly intended to attack eventually. I needed the situation to last just a little longer.

Then a woman's voice interrupted the entire thing. "We should stop here."

A hand rested gently on Zeus's shoulder.

“—!”

Pretty hand.

That alone wouldn't have mattered, except Zeus immediately froze. I looked past him and found a beautiful blonde woman standing there. She had appeared so quietly that I hadn't even noticed her approach. Zeus slowly turned his head, his expression changing the moment he recognized her.

"Aphrodite."

She gave him a gentle smile before turning her attention toward us.

"It seems things escalated a little too far tonight. You may have caused some misunderstandings with our friend here."

"He attacked me."

Before Zeus could continue his complaint, Aphrodite interrupted him with the same gentle expression.

"It would be best if we returned home tonight."

That ended the argument surprisingly quickly. Well… not even an argument per say, but clearly the man was cautious around her. I watched the two of them for a moment, mostly trying to figure out something that had suddenly become very important for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with the current situation.

Wait.

Was Aphrodite supposed to be Zeus's daughter?

Or his aunt?

I vaguely remembered the Iliad depicting her as his daughter, but Greek mythology had never exactly been famous for keeping its family tree simple. Considering how often the gods married, divorced, cheated, murdered relatives, and then somehow became related to each other again three generations later, trying to figure out who belonged where could probably qualify as a form of torture.

I really should have done more research before meeting the Greek gods of this world. Then again, knowing my luck, studying the mythology probably wouldn't have helped much anyway.

Seeing how the old man had practically lost every trace of hostility the moment Aphrodite stepped in, I started leaning toward the aunt theory. Someone as arrogant as Zeus probably wouldn't surrender his position so easily to his daughter. The goddess standing beside him clearly had enough influence to make the King of the Gods reconsider his behavior, which told me more about her position than any title could.

That didn't change the fact that Zeus still looked like he wanted to tear me apart.

"This is a matter of my honor and my pride. Things would have gone beautifully had it not been for this boy's reckless actions. How does he expect us to work alongside him if he doesn't provide us with any respect?"

Aphrodite's expression tightened slightly. "We can deal with that much later in private. I'm sure you don't want the other gods to become aware of this disruption, especially Hera."

That finally took some of the heat out of him. He still looked dissatisfied, but at least the lightning surrounding his body started to fade. Unfortunately, the relief didn't last long because Aphrodite suddenly looked as though an idea had occurred to her.

"I have a great idea to resolve this matter. How about a friendly spar?"

I froze.

So did Zeus.

"Excuse me?"

Apparently, even the two of us could agree on something.

The goddess continued with an almost amused smile, explaining that she knew Zeus better than anyone and understood perfectly well that this wouldn't end with a simple apology. If they wanted to settle the matter, they could always do it the old-fashioned way.

Surprisingly, Zeus ended up protesting before I could. "Are you being serious? At the end of the day, this boy is still a mortal. Having him challenge a God like myself is absurd. It would only damage my image even further."

The goddess gave a soft chuckle. There was something almost unfair about the way her voice carried, elegant and strangely magnetic without needing to become loud.

"What do you propose, then? Would Hikigaya Hachiman over here simply allow himself to be struck by your lightning? Come now, that makes no sense. Or perhaps you were thinking that the man who was willing to unleash his dragon upon you would offer an apology after everything that happened? Maybe he would also let you have another night with his girlfriend?" Her gaze returned to Zeus with an ominous light flashing past them. "You are a wise man. Please don't allow a pretty face to cloud that wisdom. Or I'll have to create a permanent fix for that."

I had to admit, I found myself more impressed with her the longer she spoke. Aphrodite had a way with words that made both sides reconsider their positions without making either of them feel as though they had been forced into submission.

The last part made my eyes twitch with irritation. The idea of Zeus getting another night with Akeno could go straight into the category of things I would rather never experience.

Still, her underlying point remained valid. Zeus wasn't going to accept an apology from me. Even if I offered one, he'd probably interpret it as weakness and demand something else. Judging from his personality, finding another way to hurt me seemed considerably more likely.

Why did everyone in this world always want to settle things through violence? What happened to good old-fashioned civil discussion?

Then again, considering I had technically sent a dragon after the guy first, complaining about everyone else's lack of restraint felt a little hypocritical.

Aphrodite leaned closer and whispered something into Zeus's ear. Whatever she said produced an immediate reaction. His eyes widened for a moment, and then the tension gradually drained from his expression. After considering her words, he finally nodded.

"Fine. I'll let you handle it." He turned away and started walking, apparently intending to leave the matter in her hands. Then, just before disappearing, he stopped and looked over his shoulder toward Akeno. "Perhaps another time."

A bolt of lightning flashed, and he vanished. I stared at the empty space he had left behind before rubbing my temples.

"That guy isn't going to stop anytime soon, is he?"

"Unfortunately, no." That answer genuinely annoyed me.

"Your side needs help dealing with Loki. What's the point of jeopardizing everything over something this stupid? I could easily cancel any sort of contract between us after what just happened. That could be counted as a violation."

"You're entirely within your rights to do so. No one would blame you."

That only made me more irritated.

"Then what's stopping me?"

I didn't raise my voice, but there wasn't much ambiguity in what I meant. If Zeus wanted to continue acting like an offended teenager with divine authority, I could simply decide that cooperating with him wasn't worth the trouble. Aphrodite seemed to understand exactly what I meant because her expression shifted into a knowing smile.

"May I ask if you're in contact with the Vixen?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"Huh? What does the Youkai faction have to do with any of this?"

She folded her arms and explained, "I heard that the Gremory heir once  tried to contact Yasaka at one point in the distant past. Then that unfortunate incident happened banning you from going there, while a lot of time has passed, I believe the restrictions are still in place. I can have them be removed for you, in an hour."

Been a while since I ever thought about the matters related to Yasaka and the Youkai Faction. The ban itself never caused me any issues, but having them removed would certainly help just in case. "Did Rias really do that?" I looked at her. That information caught me completely off guard, the redhead most likely tried to remove that ban on my name.

I looked toward Akeno, expecting at least some explanation from her. Instead, she looked just as confused as I felt. Her expression changed a moment later, however, as though she'd finally remembered exactly what Aphrodite meant.

"Ah… that… that happened a long time ago. Around the time you first went to Paris, right after youe last visited our club before leaving. We were planning on going there but had to... Uh, cancel it cause of what happened. We tried to contact them after that event but received no answer."

Paris.

I searched through my memories, trying to connect the pieces. For several seconds, nothing came to mind. Then something clicked. “Wait a minute.” A memory surfaced from deep within me.

Vritra, who had been quietly listening to the entire conversation, pushed an image through our connection.

Wings.

The first time I had unlocked them.

My eyes widened slightly.

"Do you mean the day Azazel kidnapped me out and threw me from the sky because he wanted to test whether I could unlock my wings?" 

That incident remained scarred in my memories, and a moment that the fallen angel hybrid also recalled vividly given she wasted no time nodding her head. "That's the one."

I stared ahead, finally putting the pieces together. At this point, I'd learned that whenever someone told me something had happened for an unrelated reason, there was roughly a ninety percent chance some absurd chain of events had been happening behind the scenes without my knowledge.

I really needed to stop being surprised by this kind of thing. Both of us turned toward Aphrodite with an expression that had gone from cautious to openly suspicious. "How the hell did you... How long have you been watching us, exactly?" I asked with enough suspicion 

The goddess only smiled. Instead of answering directly, she turned away and gave us a casual wave. "From the moment you were born, boya."

“...”

Sheesh, creepy much? I had no idea whether that answer should have made me feel reassured or significantly more concerned. Probably the latter. With Aphrodite, there seemed to be very little difference between the two. She continued without giving either of us much time to process what she had just said. "As for your little problem with Zeus, you should prepare yourself. I can only do so much, which I agree that this is his fault, this may still turn into a battle, and knowing him, he will use the opportunity to impress many or undermine you."

“I'd rather you not implant such thoughts in my head as if it's factual. I will see it myself.” For all I knew, she could have had some involvement over what happened tonight, I refused to believe a goddess like her had not predicted the moves of someone she had known for thousands of years. 

Then she disappeared in a flash of light, leaving the two of us standing there with nothing but the aftermath of her warning.

"She's scary."

Akeno nodded beside me. "Yes, she is."

That much we could agree on without any discussion. Still, putting aside the terrifying realization that Aphrodite apparently knew enough about me to make a comment like that, her mention of the Youkai faction caught my attention. Having some kind of contact with them could prove useful. They were technically on good terms with the Devil side and remained neutral in the current situation, but they had kept remarkably quiet for a long time. Considering everything happening around us, that silence stood out more than I would have liked.

Akeno glanced over. "Didn't you interact with them when you were under my father's supervision?"

"Some of them. I met people from the faction, but never anyone from the upper echelon. Certainly not someone like the nine-tailed fox."

A faint smile appeared on her face as she raised her champagne bottle. "Then should we continue our little date?"

I couldn't help chuckling. "Only you would be in the mood to suggest something like that after nearly watching me get into a fight with the King of Gods."

"You're the one who came here and started eating while facing Zeus.”

Touche.

"That was part of the strategy. I wanted to maintain a nonchalant image and make it look like I wasn't intimidated. It helps when you're trying to get inside someone's head."

Akeno rolled her eyes. "Since when did you care about that?"

"Since I realized that looking terrified while standing in front of someone capable of throwing lightning at me isn't exactly good for my survival prospects."

The conversation continued, eventually giving way to the quieter sounds of kisses and the crash of glass against the ground as the bottles and glasses were discarded.

{Break}

(A few days later)

Well… nothing had happened yet, life went on rather peacefully and I had not gotten struck by lightning in the middle of nowhere.

Not that I could focus on that much currently.

"Take a deep breath."

I obeyed, drawing in as much air as I could while gritting my teeth against the relentless pressure of the waterfall. Cold water hammered down over my body, soaking every inch of me and making the rock beneath me difficult to keep my balance on. I had always wondered why protagonists in stories loved meditating beneath waterfalls. Apparently, it counted as some kind of cliché training method designed to grant a massive boost in power. Unfortunately, reality had decided not to follow the script. At this moment, the waterfall served one simple purpose; preventing me from getting crushed by the force of the water alone. A thin, nearly invisible aura surrounded my body, colorless except for the faint distortions it created in the falling water, with several wisps of Touki escaping from it.

"You're not concentrating enough! Nothing should appear outside your body. All of the Touki needs to remain inside. If it keeps leaking out, you're wasting energy."

I nodded despite having plenty of complaints ready. Not because I had suddenly become some dedicated martial artist who enjoyed suffering under waterfalls, but because I had reached the point where talking felt like an unnecessary expenditure of energy. I had already spent what felt like hours beneath this thing, and my body had reached its limit. 

“Urgh!” Another deep breath followed, carefully avoiding swallowing water and drowning myself in the middle of my training. At the same time, I forced myself not to cheat by retreating into my subconscious and talking with Vritra. That might have been considerably more comfortable, but doing so would also mean losing control over my Touki. The waterfall would probably finish the job and knock me unconscious.

My teeth clenched as my entire body began to shake. Every muscle felt exhausted, yet I continued forcing the Touki inward, trying to keep the aura from escaping my body. The pressure grew harder to endure with every passing minute until the voice finally gave me the words I had been waiting for.

"Time!"

“Gah!” 

That single word felt better than any motivational speech ever could. I immediately leaned forward, slipped from the rock, and fell into the water before a hand plunged through the torrent and grabbed me. A moment later, I found myself being dragged out and thrown onto the ground nearby. Air rushed into my lungs as I lay there breathing heavily, every muscle aching from the training. Once my vision cleared, I looked up and found Kuroka crouching beside me in a black bikini, her position making it impossible to ignore the rather generous proportions she possessed. Those things barely hid anything.

“Hah… hah… hah…”

"Congratulations! You did good. A full hour nya~!"

A full hour sounded impressive until I remembered who I had been training beside. Someone like Kuroka could probably perform the same exercise for an entire week without moving from her position. Compared to that, one hour didn't exactly qualify as a legendary achievement.

"That's barely a ten percent increase."

"It's still a ten percent increase." Her expression remained cheerful as she pointed out the obvious. "It's normal. Lots of people hit a plateau very early and struggle to improve by even a single percent nya."

"Because they're relying on their own energy."

A hand settled against my body as more of her energy flowed into me. The sensation alone reminded me of the absurd difference between our levels.

"While I'm basically working with borrowed power because of my Touki."

Trying to compare our energy reserves felt like comparing a campfire to a meteor entering the atmosphere. My own energy had grown considerably from the small flame it once resembled, but Kuroka's presence felt completely different. Her energy carried the sheer scale of something burning through the sky, bright enough to illuminate everything around it. Just sensing it made my instincts scream at me to reject it, yet her control prevented that power from damaging my body. Instead, she dispersed it through me carefully, allowing the energy to nourish my exhausted muscles and accelerate my recovery.

Several minutes later, I finally managed to stand and flexed my fingers, opening and closing my hands while checking how my body felt. My attention eventually shifted toward the other figure beneath the waterfall.

"How long is he going to stay there?"

I pointed toward the man sitting beneath the same waterfall. Actually, calling it sitting would have been inaccurate. Sairaorg continued performing one-finger push-ups beneath the torrent, and from what I could tell, he had been doing them for nearly six hours.

Six hours.

One finger.

Under a waterfall.

At some point, the line between discipline and insanity stopped being visible.

Kuroka followed my gaze before shaking her head. "Don't compare yourself to him. Even I think that guy is crazy, and I wouldn't be able to keep up with the kind of training he does. I'm a Master, remember?"

"Yeah, I understand that. I'm not comparing myself to him."

My eyes returned to the sight of Sairaorg continuing his training as though spending six hours performing one-finger full body push-ups beneath a waterfall represented a perfectly reasonable way to spend an afternoon.

"I'm just constantly shocked whenever I see what he's doing.”

I turned to Kuroka and figured I might as well ask the obvious question.

"At my current level, do you think I could actually fight someone like Zeus?"

The answer came immediately with a dry tone. "Oh no. Without your Sacred Gear, you'd get crushed to death."

Ouch… that really left little room for interpretation.

"I figured as much."

I stretched my hands and looked down at them. That just meant I'd have to come up with some kind of plan. Fighting Zeus head-on obviously belonged in the category of things only an idiot would volunteer for, and unfortunately, I had somehow ended up in a situation where even considering it had become necessary. Normally, I would have preferred to avoid the whole mess altogether. Unfortunately, the universe apparently disagreed with my preferred lifestyle.

Kuroka stared at me like I'd just announced my intention to challenge the sun to a fistfight. "Does Aphrodite seriously think she can ask you to fight him just because Zeus tried hitting on Akeno? And then expect Zeus to apologize to him? None of this makes sense!"

Agreed, "Gods are like that. The ego of a child combined with the temperament of a spoiled one."

I knew perfectly well that Zeus understood he'd crossed a line. The problem wasn't whether he knew he had done something wrong. The problem involved getting him to admit it. Apologizing would probably require someone to drag the words out of his mouth one syllable at a time, and even then, he'd probably complain about having to do it. To be fair, even I hadn't expected Aphrodite to suggest something as ridiculous as challenging Zeus. I certainly hadn't planned on fighting the guy head on… I should have called Baraquiel as well that night.

"She's a crazy woman to suggest something like that."

"It's because she doesn't know my Sacred Gear is partially blocked right now. And I'm not telling her."

Then again, did she really not know?

That part bothered me.

Aphrodite had done enough research on us that I wouldn't put it past her to already know about my circumstances. If so, her suggestion could have been nothing more than a little game. Maybe she wanted to put me in a situation where I'd have no choice but to rely on her. If I accepted her help, I'd owe her a favor. And favors involving someone like Aphrodite probably came with more strings attached than an entire ball of yarn.

What a cunning woman.

Naturally, I had no intention of asking her for help. “Alright, time to head back.” 

…

(A few hours later)

After finishing my test, I stepped out of the classroom and stretched my arms above my head. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good about how things had gone. Considering how many classes I'd missed, I could have easily walked out expecting my score to resemble a crime scene. Fortunately, the test hadn't been particularly difficult, and I'd managed to answer most of the questions without feeling like I had wandered into an exam written specifically to punish me.

At worst, I'd probably land somewhere around the average.

That would be perfectly acceptable.

Top scores belonged to people who actually attended classes regularly and studied like functioning members of society. I had no intention of competing with them after spending so much time away from school. Getting an average or slightly above-average score already felt like a victory under the circumstances. 

The hallway carried an oddly subdued atmosphere. Students walked past while discussing their answers in small groups, some looking pleased with themselves while others wore expressions that suggested they had just witnessed their academic careers die in front of them. A few compared answers with increasing desperation, only to discover that they'd somehow arrived at completely different solutions.

I found the whole thing strangely nostalgic.

Maybe it reminded me of a period of life that couldn't come back, or maybe I simply enjoyed watching everyone else suffer through something I'd already survived. Either explanation sounded plausible.

Outside, I spotted Issei talking with his friends. From the way they were cheering, the test apparently hadn't gone badly for them either. "Sona must be keeping a pretty tight leash on him."

There was no way she'd let the Student Council slack off when exams came around. If anything, she'd probably make sure every member achieved excellent scores and then quietly judge anyone who didn't. That sounded exactly like Sona. 

Even after all this time, I began to question just what was going on and why Aphrodite still hadn't contacted me. That part continued to bother me, but not enough to make me go chasing after answers. If something had happened, they'd tell me eventually. At least, that's what I preferred to believe.

Zeus hadn't appeared again either.

That worked out nicely.

Of course, believing the problem had disappeared forever would require a level of optimism that I simply didn't possess. Zeus could show up whenever he felt like it and announce that my little task needed to be completed immediately. Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe five minutes before I went to bed.

With that in mind, staying prepared seemed like the only reasonable choice.

This involved that man, after all.

Lowering my guard around that guy would be less a mistake and more an invitation to get punched in the face by divine stupidity.

I made my way toward the Occult Research Club to visit Rias. The familiar room greeted me when I opened the door, and the redhead sat behind her desk, busy signing some documents all by herself. The others were most definitely occupied with other matters. She looked up almost immediately, her expression brightening when she noticed me.

"How did it go?"

I walked over, pulled out a chair, and made myself comfortable. "Pretty well, all things considered. The test itself wasn't that hard."

"That's good. It would have been a shame if you performed poorly. I would have been pretty disappointed."

I glanced sideways at her.

"Would you? Knowing you, you'd probably use this opportunity to propose a tutoring session with just the two of us. Then, somehow, that tutoring session would mysteriously head in a completely different direction before we finished the first chapter."

The reaction came immediately.

Her face turned bright red. A quiet cough followed as she suddenly became very interested in the papers on her desk.

"It wouldn't necessarily go that way. I'd at least make sure you learned everything beforehand."

"You're getting far too influenced by Akeno."

"Perhaps."

The admission came far too easily.

"And speaking of Akeno, I still can't believe what happened a few days ago."

I nodded.

Once Rias heard about Zeus, the little fiery otaku had gone completely ballistic. She'd seriously considered marching straight into the Greek pantheon, cutting every relationship between their factions, and canceling the alliance regardless of what her brother thought about it. I'd never seen her that angry before. It had taken the combined effort of several people, both physically and through a considerable amount of gentle persuasion, to calm her down enough to reconsider.

Rias rubbed her temple as the memory apparently returned in full.

"I don't even think I could see Zeus right now. If I encountered him, I might actually try to hurt him. He didn't just try to touch Akeno. He tried to hurt both of you. That's completely unacceptable."

Good luck hurting someone who shrugged off getting bitten by a dragon king with the power comparable to a weakened heavenly dragon. "I agree with you. Still, he'll get his karma eventually. Better to let that happen and focus on calming down."

"How's your Sacred Gear progressing?"

I raised my arm and concentrated.

The seal inside me had loosened considerably. It no longer felt like an immovable lock, more like something gradually losing its grip. Dark energy leaked around my palm and crawled up my arm for a brief moment, forming several tendrils that twisted together into something resembling a gauntlet before dispersing.

I lowered my arm with a sigh.

"It's almost gone. Maybe another few days and I'll be completely back to normal."

Rias rose from her chair and crossed the short distance between us. Before I could ask what she intended to do, she settled onto my lap and faced me, her arms sliding around my neck. The sudden closeness left no room for pretending I hadn't noticed the warmth of her body through our clothes.

"You went on a date with Akeno, didn't you? And Kalawarna too..."

Ah.

There it was.

I suppose I should have known that the moment she asked about my Sacred Gear, something like this would eventually come up.

And then I admitted that I had. There wasn't much point in denying it when I'd already made sure Rias knew about the whole thing. Still, her expression immediately turned into an exaggerated pout, the kind that made it painfully obvious she had decided to make this my problem.

"When is it my turn? Because I feel like if I don't say anything, the next thing I'll know, you'll be going on a date with Gabrielle and Kuroka."

Technically, I had already been going on dates with Kuroka. After our training sessions, she'd drag me off somewhere to eat or watch a movie, and I'd never exactly put up much resistance. Partly because resisting Kuroka tended to require more effort than simply going along with her, but mostly because I genuinely enjoyed those moments. Away from the constant talk about giving her kittens and whatever other nonsense occupied her head, there was a surprisingly normal side to her. She could act like an ordinary girl, laugh about stupid things, complain about food, and simply enjoy spending time with someone. That version of Kuroka didn't bother me at all. In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing more of her.

As for Gabrielle, that probably would happen sooner or later. Considering how things had been going lately, it felt less like a possibility and more like an appointment waiting to be scheduled. Strangely enough, though, some newly developed part of me wanted to beat her to it. I wanted to ask her first, not because someone had pushed me into it or because circumstances had forced the issue, but because I actually wanted to spend time with her. Apparently, even I could develop something resembling initiative. Truly, the apocalypse must be approaching.

"Do you want to go on a date too?"

"Yes."

The answer came so quickly that I almost wondered whether she'd been waiting for me to ask. A pleased smile followed as she leaned back in her chair, already planning things in her head.

"Soon we'll have that trip to Kyoto, right?"

"I haven't agreed with Aphrodite yet, you know." I said dryly, only to be shown a paper by Rias where upon reading the title, I grew stumped. Annulment of the ban... Aphrodite actually did it without even waiting for me to say my part?

"She said it's an apology gift and plans to give you more if you are willing to work with them. I'd advise you to no do that, but it's your choice at the end of the day. Still, this works out for us, I want to visit several places there, so you can just add a few nice dating spots to the itinerary. Then we can go somewhere together, just the two of us without everyone else getting in the way. And maybe afterward, we could spend some time at a hot spring."

That last part carried enough suggestive intent to make the meaning impossible to miss. With her face so close to mine, I felt my composure slipping despite having dealt with this sort of thing more times than I cared to admit. Apparently, getting used to Rias's teasing required a level of immunity that human beings simply weren't designed to possess. At this point, calling these girls succubuses in human form didn't even feel like an exaggeration anymore. It felt like a medical diagnosis.

"Sure, why not. I owe you that much."

Rias chuckled before leaning close and kissing me. Her lips were soft at first, but then they became more demanding. I felt her tongue trace my lower lip before entering my mouth. “Mmm~!” The girl becoming more and more aggressive until she started taking out her clothes and my clothes, her now freed breasts pressing against me as I could feel her lust rising with each passing second. 

The room getting warmer, her fragrance almost acting as an intoxicating aphrodisiac to my senses. Barely did I manage to free myself from that. Our mouths separating with a thin line of saliva connecting both of us.

"Weren't we talking about doing all of this in the hot springs now?"

"There's no rule saying we can't do it once before going to Kyoto."

This nearly went beyond a point of no return as I stared at her fac— 

“—Excuse me, miss Gremory, but I am afraid I got more paperwork delivered to me by mistakeeeyyaaaAAAH!”

If the sound of the door opening not being enough to interrupt everything… the scream definitely did. Turning toward the entrance, I immediately recognized Rossweisse, whose expression shifted from confusion to complete horror in less than a second. Her eyes widened, her face turned bright red, and whatever thought had occupied her mind apparently crashed into a wall before she could process it. A moment later, her eyes rolled upward and she collapsed unconscious.

“...”

Well that was awkward.

"You forgot to lock the door."

"That was your job. You came here last, so you should have done it."

"I didn't exactly plan for things to go this way."

"It was just the two of us here. What did you expect would happen?"

That argument actually made sense, which naturally made it much more difficult to counter. I looked at her for a moment and reached the unfortunate conclusion that Rias really had been changing. Apparently, spending time around Akeno eventually did something to a person.

"All right. I'll make sure to put plenty of effort into our date. Since the mood is already ruined, I'll take Rossweisse somewhere to get some fresh air before she starts jumping like a rabbit every time we cross paths."

A pleased smile accompanied her nod as she climbed off me and prepared to leave. Before doing so, however, she leaned closer and suddenly sank her teeth into my neck hard enough to make me flinch.

"Ouch!”

My hand immediately went to the spot, rubbing the sore area while I stared at her in disbelief.

"What was that for?"

"I was just marking my territory temporarily. It's my turn."

A dry stare answered that declaration. "You're not an animal."

Her smile only grew.

"For now.”

.

.

.

After that highly stimulating conversation, I walked alongside the now awake Rossweiss through the quiet streets at night, accompanying her while she delivered some important documents to a fellow Valkyrie stationed nearby. Whether Odin would actually bother looking at them remained questionable, considering there was a very real possibility that the man had abandoned his responsibilities again and gone drinking with Azazel at some strip club. Somehow, that sounded exactly like something those two idiots would do. The fact that I could imagine it without even needing to think particularly hard probably said more about them than I would have liked.

"I'm so sorry." Rossweiss immediately launched into another apology, her words coming out so quickly that I almost wondered if she planned to keep going until we reached our destination. "I didn't mean to disturb you two. I-I shouldn't have opened the door, and I really do feel ashamed!"

"It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, no, it was my fault. You don't need to be nice about it. I shouldn't have interrupted your intimate moment."

Oh this was not going to end as easily as I would have hoped.

"You didn't really interrupt anything important. If anything, you probably saved us from a much more embarrassing situation later." I shoved my hands into my pockets and glanced toward the road ahead. "If things had gone any further and someone else had walked into that room, they'd probably need therapy. Especially Asia, Sona's group, or Koneko. Although Koneko probably would have noticed something strange before entering and turned around immediately. Still, avoiding unnecessary psychological damage seems like the responsible choice."

That finally seemed to calm her down a little, although the embarrassment remained written all over her face. After a few more steps, her expression gradually became more composed.

"You're really close with Miss Gremory, aren't you?"

"Of course. We're in a relationship, also you can just call her Rias."

"Yes, that makes sense. It's just..." Her gaze drifted toward me before quickly returning to the road. "Hearing about something and actually seeing it are two completely different things. Seeing the two of you together, I can understand why people say you're in love. But you're also involved with other women?"

"Depends on what you mean by involved." I considered how to explain it without turning the conversation into an unnecessarily complicated mess. "Akeno is basically in the same position as Rias. The three of us are in a polyamorous relationship… a harem if you want to think about it like that. Recently, though, things have gotten a little more complicated. There are one or two other people getting closer to me, no, three more people."

I still could not get a good read on Raynare. If it was love or hate or obsession.

"You're quite popular with the girls, from the looks of it."

"For reasons I still haven't figured out, apparently that's true." I sighed. "At some point, I stopped questioning it. I've already tried everything I could think of to make them realize they were making a terrible decision, yet they still willingly walked toward the metaphorical gates of hell. At that point, continuing to protest would just make me look rude."

An audible laugh escaped her. "You can say whatever you want, but it's obvious none of them regret their choices. You're not exactly miserable about it either. You enjoy being around them, you're grateful for them, and you love them."

"Yeah. I suppose that's true."

There wasn't much point denying something that obvious. Besides, denying it would only make me sound like some kind of idiot trying to convince himself otherwise.

"What's your plan, then?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"For the future. Odin gave you a task that involves staying by his side, or something along those lines, but we both know that arrangement won't last forever. After everything ends, are you planning to return to being a Valkyrie?"

"Yes." Her answer came quickly enough, but her expression changed almost immediately afterward. "Although... the pay is really good now, and I don't want to quit anytime soon."

That caught me off guard enough to make me laugh. "You don't need to talk like I'm the one who might fire you. Odin will probably either forget to call you back for several months or wait until you get tired of the position himself."

"I would never get tired of earning this much! It's my dream come true! I can buy fresh fruit now!"

I stared at her for a moment. "Wow. That sounds depressing."

The sheer happiness on her face made the statement even more painful. Just how badly did they pay Valkyries before this? Were fresh fruits considered a luxury? If so, Odin either had some serious issues with budgeting or had deliberately been exploiting the poor woman for years. Knowing him, neither possibility could be ruled out.

"Even if our current contract ends and you return to being a Valkyrie, we could still work together. I'm more than willing to pay you fairly for your services." Before she could misunderstand, I immediately clarified, "Your services as a Valkyrie and during combat. Don't take that in some other direction because of what you saw earlier."

Rossweiss turned her face away, her cheeks coloring. "I wasn't thinking about that."

"Right. Of course you weren't."

My tone apparently made it obvious how little I believed her, because she avoided looking at me afterward.

We continued walking for another minute before something occurred to me. I stopped so suddenly that she took another step before realizing I wasn't beside her anymore.

"Shit. I forgot my bag at school."

"Oh, that's no big deal. I can go pick it up."

"I'd appreciate that, but there's something else."

The surroundings had changed without me noticing. No pedestrians. No cars. No distant voices from houses. Even the ordinary noises of the city had disappeared, leaving the street unnaturally empty. I slowly looked around, taking in the buildings and trees that suddenly felt far too still.

"Don't you see it?"

The Valkyrie's expression changed immediately. “Oh!” Training took over before panic could. Her posture tightened, her eyes swept across the surroundings, and within seconds armor covered her body while a sword appeared in her hand.

"An illusion."

"Yeah."

Several red points of light appeared in the darkness between the trees and buildings. Then more followed. Dozens of them. The shapes surrounding those eyes gradually became visible, resembling wolves or something close enough to make the distinction irrelevant. Their tails moved behind them while rows of sharp teeth showed whenever their mouths opened.

"Of course this happens when I get too comfortable."

At this point, I wasn't even surprised.

…

(Around the same time)

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a certain fish eyed boy stood in front of a rather luxurious house. Wearing a neat and freshly gotten Kuoh uniform with not a single wrinkly or imperfection upon them. A state that changed in a second as a wave of magic altered their appearance just enough to look old and ruffled up. Carrying a school bag with his name on it. 

The figure stepped beneath a streetlight, studying his surroundings before glancing down at a puddle near his feet. His reflection stared back at him. He raised one arm, opened and closed his hand, then examined the reflection again as if checking whether everything had come out correctly.

Apparently satisfied, he reached into the school bag and retrieved a small booklet containing an identification card. The address printed on it matched the house standing directly in front of him.

"Well, judging by the house, this should be the place."

A faint smirk appeared across his face as the card disappeared back into his pocket. With my name still attached to the bag hanging from his shoulder, he approached the entrance and stepped inside.