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Ikea Masters (Patreon)

Published:
2018-08-10 18:00:56
Edited:
2018-08-10 21:15:08
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Natani and Zen expertly put together some furniture, suggested by Quinn Auer!

Files

Comments

Wolf guy

Wow. And I thought I was bad.

Zephyr Arcturus

how did they add a 5th bar to the chair? xD

Burgafrickle

Hahaha, I love the illusion and sideways window

Greywolf

Sideway courtains? I think they became druggos instead of doggos

gechi

no one sees the impossible cube? XD

coredumperror

There's so much cleverness on display here.

Ascdren

how.... just how?

Quinn Auer

That went about as spectacularly well as I was expecting!

MarvTheHugPharaoh (edited)

Comment edits

2026-10-08 12:00 Look at how proud Zen is in himself, Love him <3
2018-08-10 18:27 Look at how proud Zen is in himself, Love him <3

Look at how proud Zen is in himself, Love him <3

RandomTonio

This is either the worst or best accomplishment these people had

DiDiDi-X

Why are the courtains on sideways and the fabric didn't fall.... PHYSICS!!!!!

Anonymous

There is an impossible object near the window, and IKEA doesn't sell them (although some of their products seem to be impossible objects IRL). As for the curtains, I suspect Zen didn't take them out of the packing material when he hung (?) them. Since I have some IKEA furniture I can relate to this thing all too well.

DarthKeidran (edited)

Comment edits

2026-10-08 12:00 <b>STORY-COMMENT™</b> Zen: &lt;“What do you mean? When we put it together you even asked young you and she said that’s the right way to put it together.”&gt; Natani: &lt;“I don’t know. She’s been a bit mischievous lately so I’m not sure I should be fully trusting.”&gt; Youngtani (to both via Mindscape): “Hey! What reason would I have to lie about this? We’re just trying to get things ready for your new flat here in Lyn’Knoll.” Zen: &lt;“I think it looks perfectly fine.”&gt; A week later a member of the local mages guild makes a visit to discuss mage guild stuff with Natani… Natani: &lt;“Welcome to our home Master Gilligan, would you like to take a seat on our new furniture.”&gt; Gilligan: &lt;“Natani, I thank you for inviting me…”&gt; *eyes go wide all of a sudden* Natani: &lt;“Master Gilligan… are you Ok? Sir?”&gt; Gilligan: &lt;“This… is amazing! Where did you two acquire this furniture?”&gt; Zen: &lt;“We assembled it, all of it.”&gt; Gilligan: &lt;“How much will you two sell this to me for? I’ll buy it all off you for at least 1000 gold. And if you won’t part with everything I’ll buy that table in the corner for 500!”&gt; Youngtani (in Mindscape): “See! I told us So!” Natani: &lt;“Why would you buy our table for 500 g?”&gt; Gilligan: &lt;“I’m an art collector and That table should be impossible. See how that support beam attaches vertically from the far corner to the near corner? That’s impossible to do normally. Perhaps I should commission you three… Yes, I know about you Younger Natani… to assemble all of my furniture from here out.”&gt; Down the road a few months: We see a sign indicating “Magi Bros Furniture Incorperated”
2018-08-10 18:50 <b>STORY-COMMENT™</b> Zen: <“What do you mean? When we put it together you even asked young you and she said that’s the right way to put it together.”> Natani: <“I don’t know. She’s been a bit mischievous lately so I’m not sure I should be fully trusting.”> Youngtani (to both via Mindscape): “Hey! What reason would I have to lie about this? We’re just trying to get things ready for your new flat here in Lyn’Knoll.” Zen: <“I think it looks perfectly fine.”> A week later a member of the local mages guild makes a visit to discuss mage guild stuff with Natani… Natani: <“Welcome to our home Master Gilligan, would you like to take a seat on our new furniture.”> Gilligan: <“Natani, I thank you for inviting me…”> *eyes go wide all of a sudden* Natani: <“Master Gilligan… are you Ok? Sir?”> Gilligan: <“This… is amazing! Where did you two acquire this furniture?”> Zen: <“We assembled it, all of it.”> Gilligan: <“How much will you two sell this to me for? I’ll buy it all off you for at least 1000 gold. And if you won’t part with everything I’ll buy that table in the corner for 500!”> Youngtani (in Mindscape): “See! I told us So!” Natani: <“Why would you buy our table for 500 g?”> Gilligan: <“I’m an art collector and That table should be impossible. See how that support beam attaches vertically from the far corner to the near corner? That’s impossible to do normally. Perhaps I should commission you three… Yes, I know about you Younger Natani… to assemble all of my furniture from here out.”> Down the road a few months: We see a sign indicating “Magi Bros Furniture Incorperated”

<b>STORY-COMMENT™</b> Zen: <“What do you mean? When we put it together you even asked young you and she said that’s the right way to put it together.”> Natani: <“I don’t know. She’s been a bit mischievous lately so I’m not sure I should be fully trusting.”> Youngtani (to both via Mindscape): “Hey! What reason would I have to lie about this? We’re just trying to get things ready for your new flat here in Lyn’Knoll.” Zen: <“I think it looks perfectly fine.”> A week later a member of the local mages guild makes a visit to discuss mage guild stuff with Natani… Natani: <“Welcome to our home Master Gilligan, would you like to take a seat on our new furniture.”> Gilligan: <“Natani, I thank you for inviting me…”> *eyes go wide all of a sudden* Natani: <“Master Gilligan… are you Ok? Sir?”> Gilligan: <“This… is amazing! Where did you two acquire this furniture?”> Zen: <“We assembled it, all of it.”> Gilligan: <“How much will you two sell this to me for? I’ll buy it all off you for at least 1000 gold. And if you won’t part with everything I’ll buy that table in the corner for 500!”> Youngtani (in Mindscape): “See! I told us So!” Natani: <“Why would you buy our table for 500 g?”> Gilligan: <“I’m an art collector and That table should be impossible. See how that support beam attaches vertically from the far corner to the near corner? That’s impossible to do normally. Perhaps I should commission you three… Yes, I know about you Younger Natani… to assemble all of my furniture from here out.”> Down the road a few months: We see a sign indicating “Magi Bros Furniture Incorperated”

DarthKeidran

Zen Be Like: (To the tune of Duel of the Fates) 🎶“Awesome! I’m Awesome! Awesome! I’m Awesome! Awesome, Awesome, Awesome, I’m Awesome!”🎵

DarthKeidran

Because, Natani is a mage, and mages can do the impossible.

DarthKeidran (edited)

Comment edits

2026-10-08 12:00 Keith: &lt;“Hey Natani. What you smokin?”&gt; Natani: &lt;“I am smokin… smokin hot!”&gt; *Cue: Ba Dum Tss!*
2018-08-10 19:03 Keith: <“Hey Natani. What you smokin?”> Natani: <“I am smokin… smokin hot!”> *Cue: Ba Dum Tss!*

Keith: <“Hey Natani. What you smokin?”> Natani: <“I am smokin… smokin hot!”> *Cue: Ba Dum Tss!*

Richard V.

And only 5 missing screws. :3

Panther

WHAT ? IKEA furnitures 0_o .............. Burn it now ^_^"

DarthKeidran

And somehow 30 surplus parts.

Anonymous

Wait a minute...

Larnu

That chair looks suspiciously like one the Mrs built once, and she was adamant shed followed the instructions exactly. Was interesting, the one I made looked like a "normal" chair and I followed the same ones. I wonder who was responsible for this one. 🤔

ArcadeDragon

Having few assassin contracts available, the two listed themselves on Task Rabbit.

Pancakes

Is nobody going to mention the sofa these two taped to the side of the wall?

Pancakes

or celling, if you trust that window

manemjeb

soo... youngtani is basically paprika, and can drag dream physics into the real world?

Ashton Knoblich

The more I look at this picture the worse it gets and I love it.

boombome

The world. It's sideways. Look what your determination has wrought Zen.

Jackrabbit

Oh, be careful Zen. This might be a booby trap. You're at the edge of 2D dimension.

Darkwolf

How the heck do you Ikea a window?! XD

CrimsonQuill086

Last time I checked, that's not how you put a chest of drawers together. Or place a sofa. Or build a table. Or bolt together a bed...

CrimsonQuill086

Besides that. the curtains don't seem to have realized that gravity exists.

Arukino

I´ve seen worse XD

Spartan277

When you fail all of the skill checks and the DM just rolls with it.

Michael Vey

When you think your the best designer and you look at that impossible cube 0-o how is that possible, it is just an illusion, right. RIGHT!

SCD

They were so good on putting together furniture, they got their own show on the HGTV channel called "The Assassin Brothers: Furniture Experts".

ProudLoneWolf

This kind of hints at something that has yet to be addressed in canon...how klutzy the Assassin Brothers are most of the time, and how they've never ACTUALLY killed anyone, it always happens through weird accidents. There's a good chance to address it soon though, surely Kat will ask Zen his past and this will happen: "What? You and Natani worked as...assassins? Um...does that mean..." "Well, you see..." *montage of their targets expiring in hilarious ways while they just look surprised and awkward*

Steve Gloria

This is what happens when you can't read English lol.

Spartan277

English? have you seen Ikea instructions? They're like Lego, picture only.. but crappy.

DarthKeidran

Yesss!!! <b>Tom</b> Please do this!

DarthKeidran

Oh it’s definitely real. x’D

Supreme Leader Porg

Hey, they got the hardest part done which was actually finding their way through the ikea and safely making their way out

Smallmoon

Clearly those products all required three nondescript man-blobs for assembly, and all they had was two nondescript wolf blobs.

DarthKeidran

<b>@Kubulai</b> if you are a $10 Patron I will vote for this if you suggest it.

Glenn Sellers

I'm glad somebody else noticed the cube besides me.

Glenn Sellers

Yes, Tom, please do this one some time in the future.

Glenn Sellers

That must be what those guys in the Kit Kat commercial are using when they're trying to build the catapult or was it a balustrade?

The Furry Centinel

Ehemm, I think theres a little bit more than just "something" wrong with that one, hheheheh.

LoneTiger

Welcome to the twilight ikea zone.

Daud

The more i look at this, the more my brain wants to snap.