AA227 - Cooking Class (Patreon)

“Something exciting for you kids today.” James’s homeroom teacher said. Tanaka Satoshi-sensei’s tone suggested that it was anything but. “A new transfer student is going to introduce himself.”

The room erupted in murmured speculation as the teacher moved over to the door to let the new guy in. James’s near neighbours were no exception.

“You’re not going to be the transfer student anymore, James-kun!” Masahiro whispered loudly.

“Uh, no, I will still be from the States. That’s not gonna change,” James replied.

“I mean, the new guy is going to steal all your mystique!” Masahiro insisted. “He’s gonna be the one with all the new and exciting stories, and he’ll steal your girlfriend!”

“Oh,” James groaned. “This is about the jealousy.”

“Of course it’s about the jealousy! You still haven’t told us your secret!”

James sighed and didn’t reply. Why did everyone think that Suki was going to break up with him? At least Harue had had a decent reason to think so, and had his well-being in mind when she warned him. Probably. Possibly. Somewhere deep down in that maze of selfish thoughts and deception.

The new kid was standing in front of the class, giving them a bow. He was good-looking enough—fairly standard Japanese. A strong chin and bushy eyebrows made him stand out a bit.

“Good day to all of you,” the new guy said. “My name is Kuroda Akitsugu. I am interested in calligraphy and birdwatching. I hope we will all become great friends.”

“Weak,” was Masahiro’s judgement. His voice was covered by all the other students interjecting despite the teacher’s glares. “How’s he gonna steal Ikari-sama with hobbies like that?”

James shook his head. “Keep dreaming,” was all he said.

“Now that’s enough!” Tanaka-sensei declared. “Kuroda-san, take that empty seat next to Ozu-san.”

“Noooo!” some of the girls in the room protested. “Not next to her! She’ll bully him!”

Tanaka-sensei ignored them. Shion glared at them, at the teacher and at Akitsugu as he approached. He looked a little apprehensive, but bore up under the pressure and took his seat.

“Right!” Tanaka-sensei said. “Let’s discuss the rest of the day.”

*

As it happened, James got a chance to talk to Akitsugu later that morning, when they were assigned to the same table in Home Ec class. The teacher, Nakagawa-sensei, liked to assign tables randomly each week to prevent cliques from forming.

Joining James and Akitsugu this week were two girls, Kobayashi Reina and Junko, who seemed to have fully recovered from her ordeal.

James was still a little worried. “How are you doing, Junko-san? With… everything.”

“Hmph!” Junko took out a fan and used it on herself. “I hope you weren’t expecting me to be troubled by so trifling a matter. I am made of sterner stuff!”

“That’s good to hear.” James wasn’t sure if she was covering or not. He made a note to ask Suki about it later.

Junko hesitated. “Your concern is… appreciated,” she admitted. “Perhaps you aren’t the swine chasing after pearls that I assumed.”

“That’s a statement,” Akitsugu said. “Have you been harassing this girl or something?”

“Oh, no,” Reina put in. “She’s talking about his girlfriend. A lot of people think he doesn’t deserve to date one of the Three Heavenly Graces.”

“Gee, thanks,” James deadpanned. “I can’t say they’re wrong, but Suki’s happy, and that’s what matters.”

“Oh, I don’t mean to say that I think that!” Reina protested. “It’s mostly guys that do.”

She glanced sidelong at Junko, who frowned.

“My objection to James-san’s relationship is not based on jealousy. Suki is a self-proclaimed idol; it would be inappropriate for her to date any man.”

“I see,” Akitsugu said doubtfully. “Are the Heavenly Graces that special, then?”

“No comment,” James said. “I’m biased.”

“They really are,” Reina said. “You’d know it if you saw them, but they’re in the other classes.”

Akitsugu raised his eyebrows. “They’re more beautiful than you, Ogasawara-san? I find that difficult to believe.”

Junko fluttered her fan. “Thank you for the compliment, Kuroda-san. I take pride in my looks, but a lady has to know when she is outmatched.”

“Do I get a compliment, Kuroda-san?” Reina asked archly, causing James to look at her. He normally tried to ignore other girls—he had Suki.

Reina was a perfectly pretty girl. Her dark red-brown hair made her stand out a little, and now that he was looking, he saw that her eyes were unusual as well—a much lighter shade of brown, almost amber.

“It’s a little shameless to ask for one…” Akitsugu sighed. “But sure, you’re very pretty as well. I think all the girls in our class might be.”

“That hair ornament, though,” James said, pointing at her glittering green leaf hairpin. “Isn’t that against school regulations?”

“It’s a family heirloom,” Reina said. Her hand whipped up to cover it, as if James were about to snatch it. “Don’t go all PMC on me, not when that is right there.”

She pointed at Shion, the walking dress code violation, arguing with Mitsue at another table.

“I’ll show you I have the skills of a proper girlfriend!” Shion exclaimed. “I’ll make kakiage! That’ll show you!”

“That is not one of the available dishes,” Mitsue said, calmly but firmly. “We are making hamburg steak.”

“You have a point,” James sighed. “We’re lucky Midoriko-senpai is relaxed about details like that, or the fighting would never stop.”

“Sorry, but I’ve got to ask,” Akitsugu said, “Are you talking about fighting in the halls, with those?”

He pointed at James’s katana. “Because I’ve been wondering why the hall monitors here are armed.”

James looked down at his sword. He’d gotten so used to carrying it that he sometimes forgot he was wearing it. Adjusting it to go through doors and sit down had become automatic.

“Ah, well, that’s…” James stopped, unsure of how to proceed. When had carrying a sword become normal to him? Admittedly, the incongruity of it paled in comparison to his regular extra-curricular activities, but still…

“It’s a tradition, or an old charter, or something,” Reina said. “They’ve been doing it for so long that they just don’t know how to change.”

“If it helps, I’ve never had to draw it outside of training,” James said. “Just having the sword makes most troublemakers stand down. With some exceptions.”

He glanced at Shion, who was being wrestled away from the stove.

“Heat cooks!” she yelled. “More heat cooks better!”

Reina shook her head. “I’m sorry you have to sit next to her, Kuroda-san.”

Akitsugu resolutely turned his back on the scuffle. “Well, they do say that adversity breeds character. Why don’t we decide on our dish? My vote is for beef stew.”

They ended up going with the stew, with Junko the only objector. According to her, stew could never be properly presented, as it had no structure and was only ever differing shades of brown. Reina led the cooking team, as she had the most cooking experience. She was able to coordinate James and Akitsugu, who could at least follow instructions. She could also prevent Junko from sabotaging the meal in the service of something more Instagrammable.

When it was done, she allowed Junko to carefully place three mint leaves and a sprig of parsley on top. James had to admit that it did look nicer.

Then Shion started a grease fire, and everybody had to join in and put it out.

It must have been the surge of camaraderie from that which led to Junko inviting Akitsugu and Reina to join them for lunch.

“Are you sure that’s alright?” Reina asked anxiously. “Sitting at the Idol Table?”

James didn’t like the fact that he could hear the capitals in that title, but elected to ignore it.

“Sure,” he said. “Junko-san is the only one who cares about that sort of thing, and she invited you.”

“What about Konoe-sama?” Reina asked.

James thought about it.

“You’re bringing food,” he finally said. “You’ll be fine.”

It was traditional for the cooking class to feed their friends at lunchtime, so the group had beef stew and hamburg steak in addition to the normal options. Kana approved.

Of the stew, at least.

“You are not supposed to sear the gravy,” she told Mitsue disapprovingly.

“That was Shion-san’s fault,” Mitsue grumbled. “Just be thankful I managed to extract the steaks before she set the pan on fire.”

Kana sniffed and returned to the stew. “This is good,” she said. “It has a warmth to it.”

“That’s mostly thanks to Kobayashi-san,” James told her. “We just did what she said.”

“The ability to follow instructions is greatly prized in minons,” Kana declared. “As is skill in cooking.”

She looked approvingly at Reina, who blushed.

“I’m glad you like it, Konoe-sama,” she said nervously. “I’ve always enjoyed cooking.”

Kana nodded. “You may call me Kana-sama,” she allowed. “Informality is part of my charm.”

“Thank you, Kana-sama,” Reina said.

Kana glanced at Akitsugu. “You as well, since you were involved in making this.”

“I’m honoured, Kana-sama,” Akitsugu replied. His tone was sarcastic, but James wasn’t concerned. Kana was notably deaf to sarcasm.

“You guys weren’t lying when you talked about the beautiful women at this table,” Akitsugu continued.

“They were not,” Kana said. “You are permitted to gaze in admiration, but you should be aware that I have a boyfriend.”

“Uh, right, good to know.” Akitsugu looked over to Suki. “And I already know that you and James-san are an item.”

“Yes,” Suki said, bumping her shoulder against James’s arm. “Please don’t start with that Heavenly Graces nonsense. It’s just annoying.”

“Got it,” Akitsugu agreed. “So… Changing topics, did anyone hear about the incident in Harajuku, a few weeks ago?”

James tried to suppress his guilty start. He was the only one who had problems. Mitsue and Suki had better control over their faces, and Harue lied as easily as she breathed. It was Junko who had the greatest reaction.

“The gas explosion? I heard about that!”

“There was an explosion,” Akitsugu said, “But the police operation was much bigger than that. They sealed off the entire district!”

“Were you there?” Junko asked.

“I was.” Akitsugu leaned forward, lowering his voice. “I heard that the explosion was a small part of a terrorist attack that got foiled.”

“Really! What were you doing there? Did you see anything?”

“I heard a lot of what might have been gunshots,” Akitsugu replied. “If that was what they were, there was a lot of shooting going on. As for why I was there, I was… between schools, and so I was checking out the cosplay festival.”

“How interesting! You know, our idol group has been dabbling in cosplay as part of our act.”

“Oh, homemade or professional?”

Surprised that Harue didn’t jump in over Junko’s answer, James looked over to see that Harue was ignoring the conversation in favour of staring at Reina with a wide, fixed grin.

“I know we’re in different classes, but isn’t it weird that we haven’t run into each other before?” Harue said.

“Oh! Well, I suppose we have different interests…” Reina trailed off nervously. “I certainly wouldn’t want to impose on a popular group like yours.”

“Harue. What’s going on?” James couldn’t put his finger on it, but it felt like bullying.

“Oh, nothing!” Harue said. She turned her grin on him, making it seem much more natural. “We’re just getting to know one another! I’m sure we’ll be good friends in no time, right, Reina-chan?”

“Right! Just… good friends, Harue… chan?”

Harue smiled and nodded. “See, James? We’re already getting closer.”

“Right…” James looked over to Mitsue to get his take, but his friend was lost in his own thoughts.

“Mitsue?” James prodded. Mitsue jumped and looked around the table.

“Ah, James… if you’ve finished your lunch, could we talk privately?”

Suki pouted and grabbed onto James’s arm. “We don’t have any classes together today, and you want to steal him from me?” she complained.

Mitsue shrugged. “I don’t mind if you hear it,” he told her. “You can come too.”

He led them away from the crowded lunch table to a more secluded corner of the cafeteria.

“It’s about Sundhara,” he said.

“Girl trouble?” James asked. “From what I’ve seen, you seem to be getting along well.”

Mitsue blushed, something that James thought was out of character for the young ninja warrior.

“Not in the way you mean,” he said hastily. “Sundhara has told me that the magical wards of the island are leaking magical energy that is… detrimental to her kind.”

“What kind of magical energy?” James asked.

“She only has words for it in her language,” Mitsue said. “They are more advanced than we are when it comes to magic technology… she says that our sorcerers haven’t discovered it yet.”

James looked at Suki, who shrugged. “That could be true,” she admitted. “I haven’t even cast my first spell yet, so I’m hardly an expert on what’s been discovered.”

“Will you come with me to see Midoriko-senpai?” Mitsue asked. “I could use the moral support.”

“Sure thing—I’m happy to help,” James said.

The bell rang, indicating lunch was over. James turned to Suki.

“See you after class? I might be a bit busy with Midoriko-senpai for a bit.”

“I’ll wait,” Suki said.

*

“No,” Midoriko said. She had leaned back on her office chair, almost to the point of toppling it. Her feet were on her desk, in a way that would have been indecorous if she hadn’t been wearing shorts under her school skirt.

“But—” Mitsue started. He’d just finished making his case in much greater detail than he had to James. It seemed like it had fallen on deaf ears, though.

“Why are ninjas always so gullible?” Midoriko complained to the ceiling. She pointed accusingly at Mitsue as he tried to speak. “That was rhetorical. The reason is that all ninja villages are just cults with special skills.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Mitsue tried. “We have ancient traditions, and—”

“You don’t?” Midoriko sighed. “I haven’t read the files that Asako has on you—”

“You haven’t?” Mitsue interupted, just as James was saying, “She has?”

Midoriko raised an eyebrow, and both boys restrained themselves. She gave it a beat and then pointed at James.

“She keeps files on everyone, it’s what she does. And no, I haven’t read them, I’ve got better things to do than paperwork.”

She snorted in disdain. “As I was saying, without reading your files, just knowing you’re a ninja, and that you’re here, I can guess that you were a perfect little ninja soldier until you discovered some secret about the village that you weren’t supposed to know. You either ran away because you were disillusioned, or you got chased out by the people you thought were your family.”

Midoriko gave Mitsue a wry grin. “Which caused a fair amount of disillusionment.”

Mitsue glowered sulkily. “It was my sister. Who…” he trailed off.

“Close enough,” Midoriko declared. “We’ve got a guy in second year with the same story.”

“Is it that common, then?” James asked.

“Pretty common,” Midoriko said. “Not so common for them to end up here, the ones that survive mostly get picked up by one public safety organisation or another.”

She sighed. “I think the reason that nothing’s been done about these villages is that at least a quarter of them are working for the government, and the rest of them turn out such good recruits for the shadier intelligence agencies.”

“If we could return to the original topic,” Mitsue said stiffly.

“Nah, we already finished that one. The answer is no. Try to remember that those guys are a special forces team sent from another dimension to kill me. They may be defanged, but there’s nothing to stop them from lying.”

“I don’t think Sundhara would lie about that… to me,” Mitsue said softly, looking down at the floor.

“Ah, don’t worry about it. It won’t matter in a few months. We’ve got an operation planned that should end this matter once and for all.”

“Really?” Mitsue asked, alert again. “Does that mean they’ll be cut off… forever?”

“Nah. Worst case scenario, I’ll be able to open a gate to send them back home.” Midoriko patted her katana. “Don’t tell them, though, or they might do something stupid to prevent their Empire suffering an embarrassing loss.”

“Are you going to take us off our assignment?” James asked.

“You don’t get off work that easily, mister!” Midoriko said. “There’s nothing wrong with advocating for the prisoners you’re looking after.”

James gave her a doubtful look. She just grinned.

“We run a slip-shod ship here, and don’t you forget it!” she said proudly. “Maybe some other organisations would be more strict, but this is a school, and we’re teenagers. What better way to learn is there, than from your mistakes? Now get out of my office, I’ll see you next training session!”

Mitsue wanted to protest, but James dragged him out before Midoriko could recall her second-favourite teaching method. Or were they the same thing? Getting hit by a stick certainly seemed like a mistake.

“Look, Mitsue,” he said when they were alone in the corridor. “I’m sure there’s something we can do to help. Just talk it over with me before you do anything, okay?”

Before Mitsue could respond, someone hissed in James’s ear.

“Psst! Over here!”

James looked to see that Harue had appeared out of nowhere and had whispered her message from about a foot away.

“Aren’t you supposed to do that from a darkened corner, or something?” he asked.

“I was going to do it from over there,” Harue admitted, pointing at a nearby pillar, “But I wasn’t sure if you’d hear me. I’m not sure how well your hearing works.”

“Well, you’re here now,” James sighed. “Is this about that weird look you were giving Reina-san?”

“No, I told you we were best friends!”

“Really.”

“You can ask her when I’m not around if you like.” Harue grinned creepily. “If you can convince her I’m not listening in, that is.”

“Oh, that’s very convincing. I’m completely reassured.”

“You need to work on your lying,” Harue told him. “I could give lessons, if you like.”

“What did you want, Harue?”

“Oh, right! I completely forgot!” Harue ostentatiously looked both ways down the corridor. “It’s about the new guy, Kuroda,” she said, pitching her voice low.

“I think he’s a cop.”