Dungeons Just Want to Have Fun Part 2 (Patreon)

As a baker’s daughter, Aris woke before dawn. Her movements awoke the man beside her, despite her best efforts to untangle herself discretely. Kelsey, of course, had been awake all along, and simply produced a lit lantern as Aris put her feet on the floor.

“Up early?” she asked brightly.

Aris looked at her warily, still not awake. “I’ve got to go,” she said. “There’s baking to do.”

“Sure, sure.” Kelsey held up the lantern. “You want this?”

Aris nodded. “Thank you,” she said, looking for her shoes. They were, unfortunately in Kelsey’s opinion, the only items she had taken off to go to sleep.

“So, you’re feeling better?” Kelsey asked. “Less upset, more certain about how you want to be?”

Aris looked back at Anton. They had talked last night, in whispers, hoping that Kelsey wouldn’t hear them. They hadn’t figured anything out, but some things had been determined.

“I’m not giving up,” she stated firmly. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but… I’m not giving up.”

“Great!” Kelsey said, still chipper. “So as to how, there’s something I want you to think about today.”

“How?”

“How this is going to work,” Kelsey explained. “So there are two options before you. Well, two categories of options. Given that I’m not going to go away, the pair of you can either get used to ignoring me, or figure out how to incorporate me into your relationship.”

“What? I don’t… understand.” Aris stammered. Anton was also looking confused and embarrassed.

“Look, I get that you’re used to thinking of relationships as being between a man and a woman. But there are actually lots of combinations that are possible. Woman and a woman. Man and a man. And… combinations with more than two partners.”

Aris just stared blankly at her. Kelsey sighed.

“Well, it's a process. Just think about it, okay?”

From the disturbed look on Aris’s face, she was thinking about it. She didn’t say anything as she took the lantern, and left the room, pausing only to wave goodbye to Anton.

“All things considered, I thought that went fairly well,” she said to Anton, now sitting up in bed.

“What… are you trying to do with all this — with Aris, I mean,” he asked.

Kelsey rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to help you two. If I’d known you were engaged, Anton, I’d— well I probably would have still bound you. But I might have made the effort to re-word the geas so you could get some distance.”

Anton narrowed his eyes as his anger rose. “You could have made the effort anyway.”

“Simple is best.” Kelsey shrugged. “I didn’t think it would matter. To be perfectly honest, I thought at the time that we’d be fucking by now.”

“You— what—” Anton stuttered.

“Yeah, yeah, things didn’t work out that way — but I thought it was a sure thing, you know? You’re a eighteen-year-old virgin, chained by fate to your more experienced saviour, who happens to be occupying a —” she looked down at herself — “Smoking hot body, if I do say so myself.”

She looked amused at Anton’s shocked face. “Don’t try and tell me you hadn’t had some thoughts in that direction,” she said, smirking. “Now get your clothes off, it’s time for a bath.”

“What?” Anton had to admit that he did need a bath. However… “There are a few problems with that!”

“Oh? And what would they be?” Kelsey asked. Carefully selecting a spot, she caused a large washtub to appear from nowhere. “My facilities may be somewhat lacking, but I can manage a barrel and hot water. And we bought soap yesterday.”

She placed her hand in the barrel and sloshing sounds emerged, along with some steam.

She’s just going to call me a prude again, Anton thought, desperately trying to find a way out of this. “Shouldn’t you go first?” he asked.

“Don’t need to,” Kelsey said nonchalantly. "Dungeon Inventory. Clothes go back in — and new ones come out.” For just a second, she was naked in front of him. Before he could react, a different set of her strange garb was back on her body.

She had chosen a moment when he was looking at her deliberately, he thought. He glared at her, while he tried to suppress the part of him that wished she’d taken more time.

She grinned at him. “Dirt goes the same way, possibly the smallest and most useless Inventory item I’ve collected. Now…”

“Promise you won’t look.” Anton braced himself for the teasing.

“Sure,” Kelsey replied. Anton looked up at her suspiciously. “What? It’s not like you’ve got anything I haven’t seen before. It does mean I can’t wash your back though.”

“I can wash my own back, thanks.”

“Fine,” she said and sat down on a chair with her back to the bath. “Wash away, I won’t look.”

Anton watched her back for a moment, but eventually decided to take her at her word. He got up and started to undress. It felt strange to do so with her in the room but he figured it was something he was going to have to get used to.

Kelsey had indeed provided soap, a washcloth and a towel as well, so he got to work cleaning himself.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Kelsey said. He tensed, but she stayed facing away, tossing back some clothes. “I figure you’ll want to keep your armour, but here’s some fresh underclothes.”

“Are those spider-silk?” Anton asked, looking at the garments.

“Yeah.”

“That’s expensive.”

“Not for me.”

Anton supposed not. The spiders it came from were living in her after all. “Can you tell me about your Inventory? Does it just make things out of nothing?”

“No? What gave you that idea? It’s just a storage space that exists… outside.”

“Outside of what?” Anton asked. This made for a nice distraction.

“Outside of everything. I can access it from anywhere within myself, and from this body. I can put things into it, and take them out again later.”

Anton had never understood where the bodies went, this must be the answer. But… “Where did you get a tub from?”

“I made it! Or, my skeletons did. Banging on planks, and such.”

“Why?”

Kelsey laughed. “Well, I happened to bind myself to a stinky boy, so I knew there would be some things I’d need. My skellies can whip up things pretty quickly.”

“Do you magic up the wood, or does it come from the Haunted Forest?”

“You’ve heard about that? You never went that deep yourself. But yeah, while I’m limited to growing what seeds happen to fall in my cave, I can accelerate the growth and harvest the trees when no one is inside.”

Anton grunted in reply. He had finished washing, so he got out and started drying himself. He picked up the boxers. They weren’t dyed, but aside from that they seemed like something a noble would wear. He pulled them on — a perfect fit. He tried not to think about why that would be so… but Kelsey had said that she had seen it all before. Was she speaking literally? Dungeons didn’t have eyes, but she seemed aware of everything that went on inside her.

Deciding not to ask a question he didn’t want the answer to, he pulled on the undershirt.

“Thank you for the clothes,” he said, pulling on his leather trousers. They were Tier Two gear, the most expensive thing he owned — though his new underclothes might beat that now.

“You are welcome! Now for today, I thought we’d finish cleaning up your home. Have you decided if you want to keep it?”

“I… still don’t know.” Anton sighed.

“That’s fine, we still want to clean it up either way.” She got up and went to the window. Dawn’s first light was just breaking.

“Let’s go, we’ve got a long day ahead.”

* * *

By lunchtime, they had cleared out pretty much everything in Anton’s house. Well, Kelsey had. Anton’s contribution had been mainly playing lookout, as neither wanted anyone seeing Kelsey disposing of everything.

Before she was done, she came up to him. “Here,” she said, holding out a sword in its scabbard. “I noticed that you were missing yours.”

Anton reached out hesitantly. “I lost mine on the wall… it was Tier Two with a sharpness enhancement. This is Dad’s spare sword.”

“Yours now,” Kelsey said softly.

“I’m not sure if I should even bother,” Anton said sadly. “I had a sword so I could delve… I doubt I’ll be doing much of that in the future.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. You still need to get levels, and what better way than killing skeletons?”

Anton gave her a puzzled look. “You’d be fine with that?”

“Fighting is what they do.” Kelsey shrugged. “And they respawn. I used to really dislike adventurers when I still thought that they could kill me, but no one’s gotten past the Dead Sea so far.”

“You call it that too?”

“I hear people talking… I know most of the names you have for things.”

They finished up and went for lunch. Kelsey had apparently been making a list of all the foods she wanted to try and was going through it methodically. Anton still didn’t have much of an appetite. Afterwards, they visited the guild and spoke again with Administrator Liat.

“So I had some questions about the dungeon…”

“That’s what I’m here for… but are you sure Anton can’t answer them?”

“He’s never been past Level Five, so it would all be second-hand.”

Liat raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think I’ve been down there, do you? My path is Administrator, not Adventurer.”

“Well, sure, but you’ve been involved with collating all the information as it comes in, right? So you should be able to give a more organised impression. Anton’s not great with details.”

Anton took this slander with an expressionless face. Kelsey hadn’t asked him about the dungeon, and he would have found it ludicrous if she did. It made no sense that she should be asking Liat about it, but all she’d told him was “I want to know what your guild knows about me.”

Liat looked at the both of them, and then sighed. “The first three levels of the dungeon are meant to imitate a crypt. The first level appears to be mostly natural, with sarcophagi in niches along natural tunnels. The sarcophagi contain zombies. Either opening the tomb or making too much noise will cause them to come out and hunt.

“So you can sneak through without fighting any of them?”

“To an extent. The treasure for the level lies in the coins left in the sarcophagi, so there’s no profit to be made if you don’t open them. And the passage to the next level is concealed in one of them. That’s true for the next two levels as well — the passages are quite a tight fit, and are the reason why Delvers here prefer flexible leather armour, rather than steel.”

“Anything useful from the corpses?” Kelsey asked.

“The zombies on this level don’t leave anything behind when killed, except for the occasional core. The floor boss is a Flesh Golem - three corpses combined into one abomination.”

Kelsey nodded along as Liat went through the entire dungeon, at least the levels that the guild had explored. Anton had to admit that after level five, his knowledge was somewhat sketchy. Liat described the skeleton levels, the spider caves, the revenant hive and the haunted forest. Finally, she got to the twelfth level.

“So no one’s actually beaten the Vampire Queen, and no one has found the boss of the thirteenth level — or if they have, they haven’t come back.”

Kelsey raised an eyebrow. “How did they get to the thirteenth if they didn’t beat the boss?”

“The Vampire Queen can be bribed,” Liat admitted, looking guilty. “The top-rated party made a deal with our Lord to get two condemned criminals put in their custody. Somehow, they got them down to the twelfth level alive.”

“They fed her?” Kelsey exclaimed, somehow managing to look shocked.

Liat nodded, looking a little sick. “The guild didn’t authorise it, but they told us about it afterwards. She allowed them to pass once for each of their ‘gifts’.

“So what’s the thirteenth level?” Kelsey asked.

“The Dead Sea.” Liat said flatly. “The whole level is submerged and dark, and the passage to it is a slick-walled well about fifty feet deep. The Wyvern Scales did a quick scouting trip the first time, and told us it was filled with undead fish and some kind of underwater zombies. You need to be able to breath underwater and see in the dark to get anywhere — if you had a light source that worked underwater, it would attract too many monsters.”

“Nasty,” Kelsey said. “But not impossible for a top Tier Three party, I should think.”

“They weren’t discouraged,” Liat admitted. “But they never came back from their second trip.”

Kelsey cocked her head to one side. “What’s that sound?” she asked.

Anton hadn’t heard anything, but then it came again. Horns.

“Troops…” Liat said. “They sound like ours. Could those be the reinforcements?”

“Too late to do any good,” Anton muttered.

“Let’s go and see,” Kelsey said, and led the pair out on to the main street. Liat stayed behind, left to the counter, although many of her potential customers were also going outside to see what the commotion was about.

Taking advantage of the hubbub of the gathering crowd, Anton moved closer to ask Kelsey a question.

“Did you know about the Vampire Queen being bribed?” he asked quietly.

“Sure. Well, not about them being criminals.” Kelsey said, speaking normally.

“Is that allowed? I thought everyone had to follow your orders?”

“Well, I do allow the intelligent ones a certain amount of discretion,” Kelsey said. They were out on the main street now, and more horns were sounding from the gate. This was the gate that they had come through, not the hastily propped up remains on the other side of town.

“In Cheryl’s case, I allowed it because I felt a bit sorry for her.”

“Sorry for her? Wait— Cheryl?” Anton’s parents had fought the Queen, before they retired, and they’d told him that she was a sadistic predator. Once her superiority had been demonstrated, she would toy with a party, eventually separating one from the group and allowing the others to escape.

“She doesn’t get visitors often, you know?” Kelsey continued on, oblivious to Anton’s shock. “And she’s made to want to drink blood. My mana can sustain her, but I can’t relive the craving.”

“Why’d you make her then?” Anton managed to ask. He’d let himself forget, he told himself. The cute girl in front of him was a more than just a murderer, she created monsters designed to murder as many people as possible.

“Someone to talk to, mainly. Most undead are fairly limited conversationalists.”

The troops had entered the town now, and Anton stood in silence watching them go by. There were some that cheered to see the cavalry unit trotting down the street, all bright colours and shining steel. But most of the crowd were like Anton. Not angry — they knew how long it took to ride from Bures, and these troops must have been riding hard. And for however long they stayed, they’d be an important protection against the raiders coming back. But the fact that they had been too late burned a hole in Anton’s stomach as he watched them.

Kelsey watched them go by without any kind of emotion that Anton could see.

“No Tier Fours… but the leaders were pretty high. I don’t think I’ve seen a Level 31 here.”

Anton twitched. She was using an Identify trait? As offences against decency went, it rated rather lower than murder, but so far she hadn’t done that in front of him.

“There aren’t more than a handful of Tier Fours in the country,” he told her. “We’re a pretty small and out of the way kingdom.”

Kelsey nodded thoughtfully. “Hopefully they won’t complicate matters too much. Do you think they’ll stay long?”

“Probably until the walls are fixed?”

She grimaced. “Can’t have everything, I guess.”

* * *

Over the next few days, Kelsey traded. She bought a wide variety of goods, all of which she had delivered to the warehouse. Some of the goods disappeared into her Inventory, while some were left lying around the warehouse. Then Kelsey started producing goods. Cut stone, lumber, manufactured items, all materialised out of nowhere.

She didn’t start selling it until the first ship arrived back, only a few days after it left. Anton wasn’t a merchant, but he had thought that most trade routes were longer.

“It’s not about profit, Anton,” Kelsey told him. “It’s about maintaining cover.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“It’s simple. People know that we’re getting goods in and buying stuff here. They can assume that we’re shipping it out to trade at a profit.”

“Right…” Anton wasn’t clear on how moving something to another town made it more valuable. His best guess was that it was a Merchant Trait.

“But they don’t know what we’re shipping out. So this can disguise the fact that some of this stuff is disappearing.”

“I guess I can understand why you don’t want people to know that,” Anton admitted, “But why do you need all this stuff in the first place? Don’t you just magic up what you need?”

“Monsters, I can make out of mana, once I unlock the patterns,” Kelsey said. “But it's cheaper if I have the materials. Other stuff… like plants, I have to grow from seeds, and I’m limited to the seeds that enter the dungeon. Making stuff out materials requires me to have stocks of that material.”

“So all this stuff…”

“Seeds, for more plant variety, foods so that everything doesn’t have to be made of mushrooms, soaps, dyes that I don’t know how to make. It’s great stuff!”

Anton also talked with Aris. Not about their future. Kelsey advised him to leave that be until Aris was ready to talk about it. They chatted about inconsequential things, spending time together and, according to Kelsey, allowing Aris to get used to the ‘idea’ of Kelsey.

Time passed, and Anton settled into a merchant’s routine. He heard from the guild that delves were starting again. Kelsey managed this without any apparent effort from her avatar, other than to comment when one of the parties did something particularly amusing.

After her second shipment of goods came in, Kelsey gave Anton a satisfied look and said, “I think it’s time. How do we get an audience with the Baron?”

Anton looked at her for a long moment, before sighing. “My parents knew the castle chamberlain. I know where he drinks.”

“Great!”

“He won’t just give you an audience though, you’ll need to convince him. Why would you want an audience, anyway?”

“Anton, Anton, Anton,” Kelsey said condescendingly. “Do you think I’ve been establishing myself as a merchant for nothing? I’ve got something to sell him.”

* * *

“Ah, it’s young Anton.” Syon Osvor was a short bald man, with skin a shade darker than most of the town. If that wasn’t a clue to his status, his richly embroidered clothes should have given it away. “What brings you here, with…” he looked at Kelsey in puzzlement. “I thought you and Aris had an understanding?”

Anton flushed. “This is Kelsey, my business partner,” he said, stressing the word.

“You’re forming a delving party? I didn’t think they were opening the Dungeon yet.”

“They haven’t, yet!” Kelsey said brightly. “That might be happening in the future, but right now we’re partners in an actual business!”

Syon frowned. “Young lady, Anton doesn’t know anything about trade. If you’re taking advantage of him…”

“It’s alright,” Anton interjected. “It’s not Dad’s money that she’s after, Mr Osvor. She — we have got something that we want to sell to the Baron.”

“You’re a grown man now lad, call me Syon,” the chamberlain corrected absently. His attention was on Kelsey now. “And what is it that you have to sell?”

Kelsey leaned forward with a grin. “Weapons,” she said. “Weapons that can turn the tide against Elitra.”

* * *

The demonstration was held outside, in the castle’s marshalling yard. A small gathering of the local notables was huddled at one end, while the three dummies were set up at the other. Anton had helped set up the dummies, the manual labour being his only real contribution to this demonstration. The wooden forms, he assumed, had been carved by Kelsey’s skeletons. He tried not to think about where she had gotten the armour from.

Trudging across the yard to stand next to Kelsey, he took note of who was there. The Baron and his family, of course. His wife and his daughter, Suliel were well known in the town, at least by reputation. Few had actually spoken to them, but Suliel was the unattainable dream of many of the locals of Anton’s age.

Widely regarded as the most beautiful unmarried girl in town, marriage to Suliel was often claimed by Anton’s peers as their ultimate goal. Everyone knew though, that she was destined to marry some noble from out of town. If her skin had been darker, instead of a shade lighter than both her parents, she would surely have been engaged already.

Anton had Aris, of course, but now that Suliel was just a short distance away he had to admit that she was beautiful. Her long black hair was unusually straight, eschewing the curls that most Zamarans either loved or lived with. Realising that he was staring, Anton broke off his gaze before he could get called on it, and trudged up to Kelsey’s side.

Of the others in the crowd, Anton knew some of them. Syon was there of course. Since this gathering was to see some weapons Captain Rynmos was present as well. He was injured, which meant that the inner wall had seen some heavy fighting at least, even if it hadn’t fallen.

The main reason the inner keep hadn’t fallen was also there, Magister Tikin. Kelsey had fixated on him the moment he’d entered the courtyard. It was hardly surprising, given where magic came from. Anton had been worried that she might do something aggressive, but she managed to conceal her intent.

Looking at the mage, Anton had some mixed feelings as well. If Tikin had been manning the outer wall, his parents might still be alive. The Baron’s decision to not risk his biggest asset might be understandable, but it still stung.

There were four more people that Anton didn’t know the names of. Two of them were relatives of the Baron that didn’t actually have titles. They managed estates outside of the town and had brought their soldiers in, to both protect them from the raiders, and to contribute to the common defence. Anton didn’t know them, but he could see their resemblance to his lord.

The other two, based on their uniforms, would be the leaders of the cavalry unit that had arrived too late to help. Kelsey had grimaced when she saw them. Earlier, she’d expressed the hope that they would be gone before they gave this presentation, but that was clearly not the case.

When it came to the presentation, Kelsey had wanted him to do all the talking, but in their rehearsals she had proved completely unable to stop herself from jumping in. It had been amusing and relieving to learn that there was something she couldn’t do. It wasn’t that he was bad at giving the spiel, at least when it was just the two of them, but she was just so eager to show off her new weapons.

With relief on his part, and frustration on hers, they’d agreed that she would do the talking.

“Gentle noble-folk,” she called out, once Anton had indicated that the dummies were ready. “You have a problem.”

The crowd all turned their attention to her, but the Baron wasn’t willing to let her start.

“First of all,” he interrupted. “I like to know who I’m speaking to.”

Kelsey cocked her head, a picture of puzzlement. “I’m Kelsey.”

The baron shook his head impatiently. “I mean, remove your blocking device so that I can Identify you.”

“Oh, I see. However, it’s not an item that’s blocking you. You might say it’s an unfortunate magical condition.” Despite her words, Kelsey didn’t sound at all sorry.

“Liem?” the Baron asked his mage.

“There’s magic about her, but it’s not coming from any item,” Tikin confirmed. “I’m not sure how, or where it’s coming from, though. I’d assume she was a mage casting a spell, but she’s not wearing a core.”

Anton kept his mouth very firmly shut. Kelsey had been certain that things would go this way, that everyone would assume that she was a human who was blocking their identify, rather than a dungeon that didn’t fall into the skill’s parameters.

“We do things a little differently up north,” she said. “As you’ll soon see. Any other complaints?” She looked around but no one seemed willing to make further issue of it.

“Right then! You have a problem. Elitran raiders have a block skill that negates your archers and enough of them have Leaping Attack, which makes your wall… less than perfectly effective. Is that right?”

Anton had been with Kelsey as she gathered stories about how the town had been taken, and he knew it wasn’t that simple. The Elitran’s had dragged ramps up, shielded by the blockers, that let them get over the ditch and gave the leapers enough height to reach the walls. Ten feet had seemed high enough to Anton, who actually had Leaping Attack, but it had proved inadequate against the raiders determination, ferocity and numbers.

“So, I’m sure you’re thinking that you need to build the wall higher,” Kelsey went on, “but I have a better solution.”

She lifted the long metal tube from where it had been resting on her shoulder. Uncharacteristically of her, she had carried the thing all the way up here from the warehouse. When he’d first saw it, Anton had thought it was some sort of reversed axe, with a metal shaft, and a wooden blade. No doubt the nobles were thinking the same right now. However, the blade was actually thick, with rounded edges - the handle, and the metal tube, while not a blade, was the dangerous part.

“This,” Kelsey said brightly. “Is a rifle. Breach loading, paper cartridges.” She put the wooden part against her shoulder and took aim. There was a click, followed quickly by an enormous boom.

Everyone’s attention had been drawn to the rifle’s firing. No one noticed that one of the dummies had fallen over until Kelsey pointed it out. “Do we want to go over and see what happened, or do you want another chance to see how it was done?” she asked.

The crowd murmured among themselves, but eventually they all looked to the Baron. “Show us again,” he commanded.

Kelsey grinned and did something to make the rifle open up in the middle.

“I went for smokeless powder,” she said as she took out a paper packet and carefully placed it in the barrel. “Which, if you’d seen how much smoke black powder makes, you’d be more thankful.”

She brought the rifle back together and took aim at another dummy. This time, everyone paid close attention to the dummies and the space between them and the rifle. Kelsey fired again and one of the dummies toppled in an instant reaction.

More murmurs from the crowd.

“I might have seen something,” the cavalry captain said uncertainly. “But it was so fast…”

“Shall we go look?” Kelsey suggested. They all trooped down to the other end to look at the fallen mannequins. At first, there wasn’t much to see, but then Kelsey pointed out the small hole in the breast plate of one of them. When she removed the armour, they could all see that the projectile had carried on through and buried itself deeply in the mannequin’s body.

“To fast to see. Too fast to block, and if they hide behind their shields, it will go right through them. The rate of fire isn’t quite as fast as archers, but you can fit more riflemen on the same amount of wall. You can train them for staggered fire, or you can do massed volleys, to devastating effect. What do you say, gentle nobles?”

“How many of these can you provide, and at what price?” The baron asked.

“Well… I brought twenty rifles with me, and two thousand cartridges.” Kelsey lied. “But that isn’t going to take you very far. You’ll use that much on training alone.” She smiled slyly. “You’re going to need to be able to manufacture these locally.”

She hefted the rifle, and started pointing out the details. “I’m sure your smiths could figure out the firing mechanism easily enough,” she said. “Making the grooves on the inside of the barrel without compromising the structural integrity is a bit trickier, but doable. The real problem is the ammunition.”

“Alchemy, yes? We have some in town —”

“No my lord,” Tikin interrupted. “That’s not alchemy. I can detect no magic from it whatsoever.”

“Then how?” The baron looked at Kelsey.

“It’s of dungeon manufacture,” she said smugly. “In the north, we have techniques to make dungeons produce what we want, instead of random items. I hear you have a dungeon nearby?”

The crowd went silent, and the Baron scowled. He looked over at the cavalry captain, who had put on a studiously blank face.

“Just what is your proposal,” he said, spitting out the words.

“Well, if you just want what I’ve got here, we can negotiate a fair price,” Kelsey said. “And if you want me to import more, well maybe that can be arranged. I should warn you that it might take a while. Years even. Aside from the travel difficulties, my country does not want these weapons getting out.”

Kelsey sounded so concerned about possible delays that Anton almost forgot that her country in the north, and its mythical weapons, were entirely a fabrication. Watching her lie to his leaders stirred a number of emotions, which he tried to keep off his face. Unconcerned, Kelsey continued.

“On the other hand, if you allow me exclusive access to the dungeon, I can produce as many as you want, and sell them at cost. Say five gold for each rifle, and 100 cartridges for a silver.”

“That’s… not something I can promise,” the Baron said, looking again at the King’s officers. “Dungeons belong to the King.”

Kelsey shrugged. “Ownership, who cares? I just need to be able to control who goes in, and you can leave what comes out to me. My understanding was that you were in charge of that little detail, but if you need to get the King’s permission, I can wait.”

She looked slyly over at the officers. “I’m sure the King will see the utility of his border towns having access to my weapons, I’m sure he’ll agree to my terms.”

The Baron glared at her, but managed to keep his temper in check. “Give me a few days… to consult,” he managed to say.

“Take all the time you need,” Kelsey said. “Your man, Syon, knows where to find us.”

* * *

“So, did it not work?” Anton asked when they were back in the privacy of the inn.

Kelsey made an ambiguous noise from around the delicacy she was eating. Today it was bacon wrapped around pastries which themselves contained… different things. They were quite tasty, but Anton was too nervous to eat. It wasn’t like he was invested in Kelsey’s scheme, but if it fell through he was sure to feel some of the blowback.

“Too soon to tell,” Kelsey said, having swallowed her bacon pastry. “Ask me again after tonight’s meeting.”

“Who are we meeting tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Kelsey said thoughtfully. “It might be the Baron, or it might be Captain whatsisname, that we never got introduced to. Depends on who is the most unscrupulous.”

“Why—” Anton started, but Kelsey grabbed another pastry, and pointed over his shoulder. Looking around, he saw that Aris had entered the inn.

“Aris!” He stood up as she approached. Kelsey stayed where she was, but gestured to a chair, and to stack of pastries on the table. Her mouth was fully occupied chewing.

“Hello,” Aris said to them both, taking a seat.

“You’ve got to try one of these,” Kelsey said. “I don’t know if it’s disloyal for you, eating someone else’s baked goods, but these are worth being a traitor for.”

Aris giggled. “Actually, Dad made these,” she said. “A special order that came in this morning.” She did take one, nibbling on it daintily, as opposed to Kelsey who had popped the whole thing in her mouth.

There was a silence around the table as two of them worked on their food. Finally, Aris spoke up.

“I’ve been thinking about what I want, as you suggested,” she said. Anton sat up a little straighter, bracing himself. Kelsey didn’t show any obvious reaction, but made an encouraging noise.

Aris took a deep breath. “I want my sister back.”

“What? Aris, you— Cheia’s not—” Anton couldn’t finish the thought, looking at his girlfriend. But everything he couldn’t say, she already knew. He looked over at Kelsey, who’d gotten a serious look on her face. She was still chewing, though.

“When the raiders came, I couldn’t do anything,” Aris said. “I hid, just like Chiea and the rest of my family. But she got caught, and I… I want to save her.”

Kelsey chewed slowly, waiting until every bit of the pastry was gone, before speaking. When she spoke, it was in a much more serious tone than her normal manner.

“I’m not exactly up on how things work out here, but I take it there’s a reason that no one’s organising a rescue mission.” She looked at Anton.

“It’s not impossible,” he admitted. “But there isn’t any person or group here that could manage it.”

“Your parents managed it,” Aris said.

“Yeah… but they were level twenty at the time? Early Tier three, at least.”

“There are Tier threes in town,” Kelsey pointed out. “At least one delving team, those soldiers that came in. And the Baron’s people.”

“Rathuan’s group doesn’t stick their necks out for anybody,” Anton replied. “They fought on the wall—” For longer than you did, came the thought, unbidden. “But that was fighting for their own lives. The Baron’s men will stay here, with the Baron, and the King’s men… well I don’t really know, but I don’t think they’ll abandon their mounts to go sailing after… regular folk.”

Kelsey nodded slowly, and then looked over to Aris.

“You could do it,” Aris said.

Kelsey reached out for another pastry. She took a small deliberate bit, her eyes never leaving Aris.

“I’ve got a lot on my plate right here, in this town. I’m not in a position to go touring.”

“But you could — if you wanted to,” Aris said. “You killed those raiders, you saved Anton. From what Anton said, you’re more dangerous than anyone in this town.”

“Maybe, but I’m not part of this town. This isn’t my problem.”

“If you want — if you want me to think you’re a good person, then you can’t let this happen to my sister.”

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Kelsey protested. “It wasn’t like I was there at the time to stop it. This isn’t my fault.”

“It’s my fault,” Aris said miserably. “I should have found a way to stop them. So I’ll make a bargain with you. What Anton did, or something else if you like. Help my sister and we can both be your slaves. Together.”

Kelsey said some words in a language that the two of them weren’t familiar with and then continued as they looked at each other in confusion. “What kind of show do you think I’m running here? Didn’t I already tell you that Anton wasn’t a slave? And what would I do with a baker’s daughter, anyway?”

“I thought… some kind of sex thing,” Aris muttered into the table.

Kelsey said some strange words again. “I try to expand your emotional and sexual horizons, so Anton can keep you as his girlfriend, and you think I want to turn you into a sex slave?”

“That’s what happens to slaves,” Aris muttered, thoroughly embarrassed now. “That’s what’s happening to Cheia.”

“That’s not the only thing you have slaves for,” Kelsey told her. “Or… is it? I guess I don’t know the local customs.”

“Mom told me that they have all sorts of slaves in Elitria,” Anton said. “But when they come here, raiders only take young girls… they’re more valuable than anyone else."

“Charming. But to get back on track—”

“I know I’m just a Scullion,” Aris interrupted. “But I’m Level Five. I can take any Tier Two class you want — if I can qualify for it.”

“Do you qualify for anything good?” Kelsey asked.

“Nothing that isn’t common,” Aris admitted. “But Anton could take me into the dungeon so I qualify for Delver. And… it gets harder if you don’t go now, but the slave markets will keep records… we can find out where she was sold if it takes longer.” She looked down again. “I don’t want her to wait longer than she has to, but better we come late than not at all.”

“Hmmm. I notice you said we.”

“Well, she’s not going to want to come with you. She knows Anton I suppose, but it would be better if— well, whatever you decide.”

“Hmmm. Go back to the bit about qualifying for the Delver class. That’s a Tier one class right?”

“Yes, but it’s good for fighting and stuff. You get it…” she looked at Anton.

“You qualify by making it to the second level of a Dungeon,” Anton told them. “My parents took me.”

“That’s what they were doing back then…” Kelsey mused. “What else can you qualify for?”

“I’m not sure,” Anton admitted. “To qualify for Tier one warrior-type classes, you need to kill something with a weapon — different weapons for different classes. There are supposed to be more stringent tasks to qualify for the higher-tier classes, but most simply follow the path.”

“Which is Delver, Adventurer… Hero? That’s what your parents were.”

“Yeah,” Anton got a little sad at the mention of his parents. “There’s a Tier four class on the path, but they said I should focus on getting the first three.”

“Interesting. Why don’t we take this upstairs?” Kelsey grabbed the last two pastries and led them up to her room.

“Now,” she said as she sat them down at the meeting table. “I’m not going to make a Bargain with you, Aris. That’s dumb, and you don’t have anything I want… at least right now.”

“But!” She added as Aris started to protest. “If you want to improve yourself, either to go after Cheia yourself or make yourself useful enough that I change my mind, I don’t mind helping you out a bit for free.”

“I shouldn’t object,” Anton said despite himself. “But how come she gets free help?”

Kelsey raised an eyebrow. “Because she’s your girlfriend, and since you’re not a slave, it does behoove me to make sure you stay happy. Also, that potion was really expensive.”

“Right, sorry,” Anton said, embarrassed. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome.” Kelsey looked at Aris. “Well? I suppose I should warn you that it won’t be easy, but you already knew that, right?”

“I—“ Aris looked over at Anton’s worried expression. “I want to become stronger, strong enough to help Cheia. What do I have to do?”

“You want to start right away, am I right?” Kelsey said thoughtfully.

Aris nodded. “Every day I delay… it gets worse for Cheia.”

“Okay… unfortunately, Anton and I are stuck here for the time being. We’re expecting company tonight.” She paused a bit longer in thought, and then said. “Can you sneak out of town once it gets dark, and enter the dungeon?”

“What? Enter the dungeon alone?” Anton protested. “She can’t”

“Relax, I’ll take it easy on her,” Kelsey replied. “Can you do it?” she asked Aris.

Aris nodded firmly. “Anton and I used to sneak out all the time when we were kids. It will be even easier now.”

“Aris…” Anton whined. “It’s really dangerous in there.”

“Don’t worry, kid. She’ll be fine. I’m not going to send her in empty handed.” Kelsey looked Aris up and down. “To start with… you don’t have any weapon skills do you?”

When Aris shook her head, Kelsey produced a sword out the air. “This should do as a starter weapon then. A short sword. It’s got an edge, which is always useful, but it's thick enough to just bludgeon things if you need to.”

She demonstrated a number of ways to use the weapon, thrusting, chopping and swinging before handing it over to Aris.

“Try it out,” Kelsey told the girl. “Don’t worry, you’ll be getting plenty of practice.”

While Aris took a few practice swings, Kelsey began muttering to herself and staring at nothing. “I’ve got nothing that will fit that chest… something oversized? Too small… too long…”

Eventually she found something that satisfied her, and started pulling out armour pieces.

“Good boots, very important, see if these fit,” she said, handing a pair to Aris. She then added some leather pants and some metal vambraces. “These strap on, so they’re one size fits all, pretty much. Try out the rest.” She shooed Aris into the bedroom to try everything on.

“Are you sure about this?” Anton asked once they were alone. “She’ll die in there!”

“Relax, I’m not going to give her the full package. I’ll tone things down for her and give her an escort.”

Anton frowned suspiciously. Kelsey had thus far demonstrated a callous disregard for human life, masked by her desire to stay ‘under cover’. Was it different when he or his friends were involved? Or was this more of the mask? Before he could put his doubts into words, though, Aris returned. She looked like a real adventurer now.

He quickly cast Delvers Discernment over her gear. It was pretty good, all Tier 2. Not enchanted, but a cut above what a delver would normally start with.

“It fits?” she said doubtfully. Kelsey nodded in satisfaction and handed Aris a scabbard that went with her new sword.

“Okay,” she said. “You’re going to want to bring some food and water. Tell your parents that you’ll be away for a few days.”

“Should I tell them why?”

“Up to you. You can tell them you’re staying here if you like.”

Aris looked down, embarrassed. Anton imagined her ears were burning. His certainly were. Kelsey ignored their reaction and kept on with her lecture.

“Now, I’ll be able to see and hear everything you do there — but I can’t issue new orders to the floor you’re on. So if you run into problems, go up or down a floor, and I should be able to sort it out there.”

“So I can talk to you?” Aris asked.

“Yes, but I can’t reply,” Kelsey told her. “I guess, if this body isn’t too busy, I can write out a note and leave it for you, but not on the floor you’re on.”

“I see,” Aris said. Anton could tell that it was starting to sink in. This was going to be something really dangerous. He wished that he could go with her, but he already knew Kelsey wasn’t going to be budged from whatever encounter she thought was coming. He may not have been a slave, but he was still chained to Kelsey.

“You probably want to change before you leave,” Kelsey advised. “Get some rest — I’ll be ready for you whenever, but it should be easier to sneak past the patrols at night.” She pushed Aris back into the bedroom to change out of her adventurer garb.

“One final thing,” she added when Aris was ready to leave. “Don’t just grab the first new class that becomes available. We’ll try a few things when I get down there, see if we can’t find something good.”

Aris nodded again and then left, clutching her armour and weapon.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Kelsey said to Anton. “She’ll be fine.”

* * *

Anton hadn’t actually expected Kelsey to be right about something happening that night. But when the two guards came into the common room, they were clearly looking for her. It was after sundown, but the common room was still full of drinkers and diners. No one looked twice at the guards when they came in and looked around, but Kelsey poked Anton and got out of her seat.

“Look alive,” she said quietly. “We’re up.” The two of them headed towards the guards. They were quickly noticed — Kelsey was easy to recognise. If the guards were surprised to see their target headed towards them, they hid it well.

“Where are we going, boys?” she asked when they were close enough.

“Uh, this way, ma’am,” one of the guards said, and led them out of the building. To Anton’s continued surprise, they did not head up to the castle, but turned down a side street towards the merchant sector of the town.

“I thought we were going to meet someone from the castle?” he whispered to Kelsey.

“It wouldn’t be much of a secret meeting if we held it there, would it?” she answered, and he could somehow hear her eyes rolling.

They walked on for a little while before she spoke up again. “Aris has reached… where she was going,” she said softly, keeping her eyes on the guards. Anton didn’t have anything to reply to that, but his heart clenched up in worry.

They walked a little further before coming to a nondescript merchant’s house, tucked away in a little cul-de-sac. Two more guards stood outside the entrance and opened the door for them as they approached. Nobody said anything, their escort just indicated that they should go first, and Kelsey walked straight inside.

Something about the door caught Anton’s eye as they went in. It hadn’t been apparent from the outside, but the inside of the door had been bound with iron. On an impulse, he used Delver’s Discernment and noted that both the wood and the iron were Tier three.

Not so nondescript then, he thought. Tier three materials needed a higher-tier craftsman to be worked without losing a tier. Anton wasn’t aware of any Tier four craftsmen in the town, so this must have been ordered from the capital.

Ignoring all this, Kelsey just walked straight in. Anton followed, more cautiously. They found themselves in a undecorated room, furnished with only three leather-covered chairs with high armrests, and a table supporting a lantern. The Baron occupied one of the chairs.

“Baron Anat,” Kelsey said, bowing. She took one of the remaining seats. “You know, if you leave your guards outside, it’s pretty obvious to anyone that there’s something going on inside.”

Anton slunk into his seat as the Baron glared at Kelsey. He must have been considering her words though, because he gestured at one of the guards.

“Bring them in,” he said, and returned his attention to the woman before him. Anton had never been so glad to be ignored.

“Sooooo,” Kelsey said, drawing out the word. “Its been too soon for you to contact the King, but you’ve ditched his officers. Shall I assume that you want to make a deal behind the King’s back?”

“Why would he want to do that?” Anton blurted out. He immediately regretted it as the Baron’s attention was turned on him. Only briefly though, as Kelsey kept talking.

“He must have realised that rifles aren’t just good for defence, they’re great for attacking as well.” She gave the Baron a big grin. “Your Lord is looking for a promotion. To Count… or Duke… or dare I say it… King.”

Baron Anat scowled. “If you realised this, then why have this demonstration while Oldaw was here? He’s already sent a message back, which I’ve had to… take care of. It’s only a matter of time before he realises that his man hasn’t made it back.”

Kelsey shrugged. “It’s not like I care who I do business with, or what you do with the product afterwards. You, the King, or Captain Oldaw… as long as I get my dungeon, I’m happy.

“How mercenary of you,” the Baron sneered. “But your antics have put me on a schedule. How long before our dungeon can produce a meaningful supply of these… cartridges.”

“Oh, it’s very quick,” Kelsey said. “I should be able to have replacements ready before you’ve gone through the initial supply.”

Anton stared at Kelsey in horror. Was she really starting a rebellion? That was what they were talking about weren’t they? It felt like he should take action, but even if he was willing to go against his Lord, the four guards in the room would easily stop him. Not to mention that the Baron was of a higher level than him.

“You’re very confident,” the Baron said. “Is she right to be?” He turned the question on to Anton, and Anton felt the pressure as the Baron turned some sort of leadership Trait on him, forcing him to answer the question.

“She… knows what she’s doing,” he said. He wasn’t trying to lie, and he wasn’t exactly being forced to tell the truth either. “She… can control the dungeon.”

The pressure let up, and Anton gasped for breath. The Baron returned his attention to Kelsey.

“There’s just one problem,” he said. “There’s no way that I, or the King for that matter, will hand over a dungeon to a foreigner.”

“Give it to Anton, then,” Kelsey said, unconcerned. “He’s my partner and I trust him to do what’s right for me.”

Somehow, even knowing everything that he knew about Kelsey, her unconditional expression of trust in him stirred a warm feeling in Anton’s heart. What are you thinking you idiot! Of course she trusts you, she’s got you tied to her.

The Baron was less impressed. He snorted and said “I don’t know how you managed to get the town’s favourite son doing your bidding, but I’m not fooled. No, you’ll get your money, but it will be in exchange for whatever secrets you know that let you control a dungeon.”

For the first time that evening, Kelsey’s smile dropped. “That won’t be happening,” she said flatly.

“Oh, but it will,” the Baron said. He gestured, and two of the guards came over to stand behind their chairs. The one behind Anton put his hand on Anton’s shoulder. He was strong, and Anton was forced back into the seat.

Anton flicked Delver’s discernment across the room. All of the guards were more than twice his level.

“This cottage is one end of a secret tunnel that leads to my castle’s dungeons,” the Baron continued. “If I can’t convince you to sell your secrets, I’ll simply take them from you.”

“So I take it negotiations are at an end, then?” Kelsey asked. She made as if to get up, but the guard forced her down. She didn’t go down as easily as Anton had, but leverage was against her. Trapped in her chair like that, she seemed weak, unarmed and helpless, but Anton knew she was anything but.

“It seems so,” the Baron replied, sighing.

“No, wait—“ Anton said, but it was too late. Kelsey had put her hands up and to the sides in what looked like a helpless gesture. It didn’t look so helpless when the two skeletons appeared.

Each skeleton held one of Kelsey’s hands. The other held a rusty sword, which they quickly brought into action. Before Anton could even finish his sentence, the swords had swung, and the guards behind both Anton and Kelsey had been decapitated.

Blood started spraying everywhere as the guards bodies fell to the ground. The skeletons were unbothered, moving quickly to attack the remaining guards. The Baron had pushed himself back away from the fight, falling over his chair in his haste to get away. He scrambled to get up while pulling out his rapier.

Kelsey ignored the fight behind her, getting up from her chair and keeping an eye on the Baron as he got himself together. Glancing back at the skeletons, Anton judged that she was right to be unconcerned. While the guards were stronger, and faster than the skeletons, the difference in skill was easily seen.

Faster strikes were predicted, and parried. Greater strength could be countered by properly applying the leverage that a sword granted. It was beautiful to watch, but this wasn’t a demonstration match. Each clash added a line of blood to some part of the guards bodies, as the Lazybones took their opponents apart, one slash at a time. Still, it was slow going, and Anton thought that once the guards got over their shock and triggered their higher Tier traits, the fight might turn.

Before that happened, the Baron entered the fray. He might not have been a combat specialist, but he was a Tier three. Forgetting himself in his panic and rage, he lunged at Kelsey. If his strike had connected, he would surely have killed her and sent her secrets to the grave. If she’d been human, of course.

Since she wasn’t, she just stood her ground and held out her hand. A metal device appeared in it, and there was a sound unlike anything Anton had heard before. Sort of a phutt sound. The device jerked in Kelsey’s hand, and a small hole appeared in the middle of the Barons forehead.

Already moving forward, it looked like he tripped as he slumped to the ground, dead at Kelsey’s feet. His death proved fatal for his guards as well, distracting them when they could least afford it. The Lazybones took advantage of the openings and just like that the fight was over. Anton had not even had time to get up.

“Well,” Kelsey said thoughtfully. “This is not how I hoped it would go.”

“This is terrible!” Anton screeched. “You killed the Baron! We’re going to be hung! What—”

He paused, as his thoughts caught up with him. “What was that thing that you used?” he asked in a still high pitched, but slightly more normal tone. A delver’s curiosity about new items and weapons was a powerful thing.

“Oh, this?” Kelsey asked, waving the L-shaped device at him. “This is a gun, like the rifles.”

“It’s nothing like the rifles!” he said. “It’s shorter, and less… tubey, and it doesn’t make a booming sound.”

“It’s a more advanced version,” she told him. “It holds nine bullets, and it can fire them as fast as I can pull the trigger. And it has a silencer, which I integrated, since bulk isn’t an issue when you can pull your weapon out of thin air.”

Most of what she said went right past him, but one thing caught his attention. “Bullets are the same as cartridges? And it carries nine of them? That’s… terrifying.”

“They serve the same purpose, yeah, but they’re different. Oh, that reminds me.” Kelsey started casing around the room. She quickly found what she was looking for, a small brass object.

“Wouldn’t do to leave evidence about,” she said, passing it over to him. It was a tiny brass cup, strangely warm and smelling much like the smoke from the rifles.

“And yes, you guys can evolve,” she said over his shoulder to the two skeletons covered in blood. Anton whirled around to see the Lazybones engulfed in a golden glow that seemed to emanate from their very bones. As he watched, transfixed, they grew a little, or perhaps just stood a little straighter. Their swords lengthened, and the rust and nicks that they carried were somehow erased. Armour — a breast plate and greaves — formed around them.

When the glow was finished, Anton recognised them as a pair of Skeleton Champions from Level Five.

“Monsters have something similar to your Classes, but for them it’s a Race, and its much more all encompassing,” Kelsey said. She’d been cleaning up while he stared at them, and had disappeared most of the corpses by now. The blood splatters on her were also gone — she’d changed clothes again, Anton realised.

“Back in the box with you,” she said to the two skeletons, gesturing for them to come over to her. She held out her hands for them to take, and then disappeared them. Now Anton was the only blood-soaked object left in the room - apart from the floor and bits of the walls.

“I thought you couldn’t put living things in your Inventory,” he said, still processing what had happened.

“Undead monsters don’t count!” Kelsey said gleefully. “Hell of a loophole, right?”

She looked him over speculatively. “But we can’t have you wandering the streets like that. Do you just want to change your clothes, or do you want a bath?”

Anton stared at her blankly, before realising she could just summon the bathtub again. “Just the clothes, please,” he said. He did want a bath, but he couldn’t imagine cleaning himself in the middle of this murder scene — even if it was missing the victims. Kelsey nodded and handed over a bundle of clothes.

“Go upstairs to change, I’ll try and do something about… all this.” She looked around. “Wait!” Summoning a wet cloth to her hand, she wiped down his face while he stood, unresisting. “You had a little… it’s gone now.”

Anton nodded and went upstairs, changing clothes methodically. What was going to happen to them? They had killed the Baron! Should they turn themselves in? Somehow, Anton doubted that that was Kelsey’s plan. He’d never done anything worse than steal apples from his neighbours tree, and now he was the worst kind of criminal.

Kelsey seemed entirely at ease with that, Anton realised. Of course, she killed people all the time, it was… normal, for dungeons. His only option was to hope that she knew what she was doing when it came to crimes committed as a human.

When he got back down, Kelsey had managed to clean a lot of the blood. The room still had a metallic smell, and the walls and floor were wet, but there was no sign of the red pools that had been there before.

“This place has pretty good drainage,” Kelsey said. “Hopefully it isn’t all going into their secret tunnel.”

“What are we going to do?” Anton asked.

“About the Baron, you mean? It’s not as bad as you’re thinking.” Kelsey said. “For one thing, he didn’t want anyone to know that we were meeting, so there’s a good chance the only people that knew were the ones he took with him. All of which are dead.”

“But people saw us with his guards. And what if he told his wife something?”

“Then things get interesting,” Kelsey said, grinning. “But let’s leave tomorrow’s trouble until then. Right now, we’ve got to sneak out of town.”

“Aris! We’ve got to get to the dungeon!” Anton couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten about her, even under the current circumstances.

“Relax, she’s fine. Well, fine-ish.” Kelsey paused for thought. “Actually, before we get there, we should make a detour.”

“What for?” Anton asked suspiciously.

“We need to stage a crime scene.”